Chapter 30: It was Fucking Rigged!!!
(Celia’s POV)
Waking up in the morning, I found that no one was sleeping around me. Did I accidentally sleep in? When I asked Ria and Tia about this, they just laughed and refused to answer me. What the heck?…
Going downstairs, I saw Yona and Solia looking very busy. Walking up to Yona, she was using a laptop and focusing most of her attention on it.
Celia: “What are you doing, Mom?” I ask with a curious tone.
Yona: “Solia and I are looking for our successor.” She answered.
Celia: “Huh? Why would you need to do that? Am I no longer the heir?” I reply with a head tilt.
Yona: “I have no intention of staying in this dimension any longer than needed, Celia. Solia and Mena think the same.” She explained.
Celia: “…”
She remembers? And what was it that she said? Mena too!?… I was fucking scammed!!!
Celia: “Solia… You’ve tricked me.” I say with a pout.
Solia: “How so? I just woke up earlier than you, and I got them to remember.” She replied with a laugh.
Celia: “Did Ria or Tia help you?” I ask with my arms crossed.
Solia: “Huh? What do you mean? I wasn’t aware that you already saved them…” She replied with a confused tone.
Celia: “…”
Once she finished speaking, Tia and Ria revealed themselves to us. Of course, they couldn’t help but laugh at my expense. Damn… I sure hate being played like a fiddle. Why didn’t I realize that Solia was fully capable of cheating as well?… I am a fool!!!
Ria: “We didn’t help her win, Celia.” She denied.
Tia: “That’s right. Solia just did everything she could to make the others remember. This almost made them think that she was crazy, funnily enough.” She said with a giggle.
Solia: “…You two were watching us this entire time?” She asked in shock.
Ria: “Yes. The dimension that Celia got sent to just so happened to be the one where Tia was placed.” She replied.
Mena, Solia, and Yona: “Who is Tia?” They ask with a serious tone while looking at me.
Celia: “…”
Oh, shit… I totally forgot to introduce my fourth wife to the rest of my family. To be fair to myself, Ria really didn’t give a chance to do so. I am in the right, in this case. I just need to play it off right… Let’s just pretend that I had the chance to explain this to Yona not that long ago…
Celia: “This is Garentia, my fourth wife.” I say with a proud tone.
Solia: “When did you meet her?” She asked.
Celia: “In Heaven.” I answer.
Solia: “…Where did you really meet her?” She asked once more, but with a sigh this time.
Celia: “I am being serious!” I exclaim with a pout.
Solia: “…”
Mena: “Mother, why are you speaking crazy?” She asked.
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Celia: “I am not!… Oh, right. I forgot that most of my family isn’t aware that I saved Heaven a while back.” I reply with a thinking pose.
They’re my family, so surely they will believe most of what I say. But when someone you trust with your life says that they met their wife in Heaven, as well as saved Heaven, they’d think that you have lost your mind. How can I properly explain this?…
God: “Celia’s words are the truth. Explaining will take too long, so I will just beam the memories into your heads.” She said, popping up out of nowhere and snapping her fingers.
Everyone, not including me, but including Tia, all held their heads in pain. What could God need to show Tia as well? I was certain that Tia knew most of what happened… Though she was missing the most recent events from my adventures. This was a lot of information, so I have to wait for them all to process it fully.
Much Processing of Memories Later.
Mena: “Did Mom really did really do all those things?” She asked with an unsure tone.
God: “She very much did.” She answered.
Tia: “And… did you actually marry your own daughter, the Devil?” She asked with a curious tone.
God: “I did. Mostly due to how well Celia handled the situation.” She answered with a warm tone.
Yona: “I didn’t get the full picture of what Celia did until just now. Even I am shocked…” She said with a lofty tone.
Solia: “Knowing what she did makes me very proud to be her mother.” She said with a smile.
Celia: “Hey, it wasn’t that special. No need to praise me.” I reply with a shrug.
Praise me, praise me, praise me! Oh, fuck… Do I have a praise kink? Surely not… I mean, who doesn’t like getting praised? It’s not like I get off on it. Do I?… Nope, I don’t. I just like getting praised as anyone would.
Solia: “Celia, it will take a week or two to settle all of our affairs within this dimension. Until then, we can’t leave.” She informed.
Celia: “I understand. Though, I am pretty sure that Tia left without arranging her affairs in that dimension…” I say with a thinking pose.
Tia: “I settled them, don’t worry.” She reassured.
Celia: “Great!” I happily replied with a thumbs up.
I have no idea when she had the time to do that, but I wouldn’t put it past Ria to help Tia freeze my time. In doing so, she was most likely able to deal with all of her affairs without me noticing. How cheeky…
Yona: “It will take a while until we can find a worthy heir, though…” She said with a sigh.
Celia: “Huh? Why not just make Emma the heir?” I propose.
Emma: “Why me?” She asked with a shocked tone and expression.
God: “Ria already made you a Goddess, you know. Celia is right. Leaving this family in the hands of a practically immortal person would be the wisest choice.” She answered in my stead.
Oh? I didn’t realize that God was still here… Normally, she would have vanished by this point. Doesn’t she have far better things to do than just watching me live my life?…
God: “Heaven is pretty secure right now, without anything really needing my attention. What else would I be doing right now?” She asked.
Celia: “Could you please not peer into my thoughts anymore? That is for my wives alone to do. Oh, and one of my daughters as well, I guess.” I plead.
God: “I’ll keep that in mind, sorry. Now, please do answer my question.” She replied.
Celia: “Your wife.” I answer.
God: “…Is that a joke?” She asked with a confused expression on her face.
Celia: “I mean it literally. Why bother with me when you can go have sex with your wife?” I clarify with a raised eyebrow.
God: “…”
She looked reluctant to reply to me. Did something bad happen to her and the Devil’s relationship? I sure hope not. The balance and safety of Heaven depends on them still wanting to be with, and do each other, after all…
Celia: “What’s wrong?” I ask.
God: “She and I are having a bit of a cold war.” She admitted.
Celia: “Explain?” I urge.
God: “She won’t have sex with me.” She answered.
Celia: “Why?”
God: “I don’t know… It was all fine a week ago, but she suddenly started to refuse my advances.” She explained.
Celia: “Oh, she is bored.” I say with a confident tone.
God: “What do you mean? I’ll have you know that we get pretty intense in our BDSM sessions.” She replied.
Celia: “I know. Yona and I accidentally witness one of them.” I reply with a laugh.
God: “…”
Damn… it is fun being such a cheeky girl. I can even make God, the ruler of all existence, be speechless. It very much does feel absolutely amazing. I should be an even more cheekier girl in the future!
Celia: “Hasn’t she shown hints?” I ask.
God: “Like what?” She replied.
Celia: “Did she watch any porn, or leave any magazines around?” I clarify.
God: “…She did.” She answered.
Celia: “Anything specific?” I ask with a curious tone.
God: “Hm… I keep catching her watching abandonment play porn.” She replied after thinking about it for a bit.
Celia: “Then that is your answer. She wants you to tie her up, blindfold her, probably put some vibrating toys on her sensitive parts, and then leave her alone for an unspecified amount of time.” I explain with a confident tone and expression.
God: “…”
Celia: “Understand?” I ask.
God: “If you’re wrong… expect me to punish you… lightly.” She informed with a serious tone, before vanishing.
Good! I got rid of one of my watchers! Nice! Huh? What’s with those looks? Is it wrong for me to discuss God’s sex life with her own daughter, and how she can get over the Devil giving her the cold shoulder? Holy fuck… That sounds horrible now that I think about it… Look, I swear that I am still the innocent, pure, special little princess that I always was! I think?…