Chapter 83: What am I to Her?

(*Yona’s POV*)

Celia’s patience was very commendable. I assumed that she’d get fed up with me delaying her after just a year, but that idea was soon dispelled. As she let me drag this on for over three years now.

Even after being with her so long… No. It is more accurate to say that I trapped her in my castle… Anyway, even after so long, I still didn’t understand what I felt for her. Was it love? I knew that it was love, but what kind of *love* do I feel for her?…

Was I not even a lesbian? Mar helped me confirm that I was one. I asked her to strip and let me look at her body. I felt aroused looking at her body. I got lost in it, and even touched her breasts a little. All that I could think of… was wondering how Celia’s breasts felt.

Clearly, I desired her, and I was a lesbian. But why do I feel so disgusted with myself for wanting her as my wife? Is it because I kidnapped her? If it was because of that, it didn’t really matter. Celia could have easily escaped me whenever she wanted to.

Celia just didn’t, as apparently, I am the reason that she came to this dimension. The very idea that she abandoned her original life, and true power, all just to come find and take me with her. Well… it was a very odd feeling. What even am I to her? Of course, Celia is more than willing to explain the answer to that question to me. But I delayed her in doing so…

She was so adamant that I would be leaving this dimension with her. But… why? Today, all that will be answered. I gave Celia an impossible task, one that anyone other person would resent me for giving them. Celia handled it not within days, but within less than an hour.

When she got back, I was so shocked that I could barely react to it. Talking to the commanders in my head, I discovered that Celia’s words were true. Victoria and her army had begun retreating from my continent. Just a few words from Celia, and they gave up? Crazy…

Sitting in Celia’s room, on the opposite couch as her. I was waiting for her to speak. To explain why I feel this way. So that I can finally put all this behind me and move on. Finally… I will have closure. Or… will this information destroy me? I have no idea…

Celia: “Yona, there is a very good reason as to why I refuse to be in a relationship with you.” She said with a serious tone.

Yona: “Are you… not a lesbian?” I ask.

This question really wasn’t a question at all. It was plain to see that Celia was indeed a lesbian. I was just looking for ways to delay her explaining.

Celia: “I am a lesbian, and I have four wives.” She answered with a smile.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Yona: “F-four wives?” I say with a shocked tone.

Celia: “That’s correct. Now, Yona. The truth will hurt you a lot. I just want you to know that I will, and have always loved you. What happened here in this dimension will never change that, nor will you having sexual and romantice feelings for me change it either.” She said with a smile.

Yona: “Celia… What am I to you?” I ask, nervously.

Celia: “You’re my adoptive mother, Yona. I came to this dimension to save you, as that Creator took my entire family, including you and my wives, and sent them to other dimensions. I need to find them, and you’re the first one I went after.” She explained.

Yona: “…”

Oh, Goddess… what have I done? I have no memories of being her mother, but this explains everything… I have even unintentionally treated her like my own daughter for at least two years now. So… this is it. This is the missing piece. Can… can I live with myself?

Creator: “Now that the truth has been revealed, Yona. Do you want your memories back?” She asked, popping up out of nowhere.

The guilt I currently feel is heavier than an entire mountain. If I regain my memories, how much guilt will I feel then?… Regardless of what happens, I owe it to Celia to get my memories back. After all, I can’t run from my memories forever.

Yona: “…Yes.” I reply.

The woman snapped her fingers, and then I recalled it all. Hah… I am just such a horrible, horrible woman… I am married to Solia, another person that Celia has to save, eventually. And, here I was, I kidnapped our daughter, and forced her to stay with me, while I try to figure out if I should seduce her or not.

Celia… why didn’t you just abandon me? Three… no, seven years. Seven years she spent in this dimension, just to find and save me. I don’t deserve any of this. Not at all. Not having my memories isn’t a good enough excuse, either. I clearly felt a sexual and romantic attraction to Celia.

And I still do to this very day. When did this start? It was… after Celia gave her virginity to her wives. At that point, she shined like a woman. That was when my attraction to her first showed up. But that is over now. She now knows my true feelings for her…

Taking out a knife from my storage ring, I try to kill myself with it. As the knife was about to stab my heart, Celia stopped the blade with her hand. In this dimension, she was just a weak human. So the blood flowing from her hand was decently extreme. I… I couldn’t even speak…

Celia: “Yona… you can’t kill yourself! I… I couldn’t bear it…” She said with a stern tone.

Yona: “…”

Celia: “We… no, I need you in my life. I need you all. Please… please, I beg of you to not take yourself out of my life…” She said with tears streaming down her face.

Ah, once again, I’ve hurt my own daughter. Truly, I am a horrible person through and through…

Celia: “I don’t care that you’re attracted to me. If you want to be me with me, then we can figure that out, eventually. For now, we need to focus on saving everyone.” She said with a serious tone.

Yona: “But…” Her next words cut me off.

Celia: “Yona… it’s fine. Nothing will change between us. And if you can’t accept having a relationship with me, that is fine as well. I will keep this a secret forever. I will never, *ever* reveal it to anyone. Just please… once again, become my mother.” She said with a pleading tone.

Yona: “…”

Happy… I was so happy that Celia was willing to keep this side of me hidden from everyone else. Hah… in the end, all I cared about was how the others would see me. Now that weight is gone, as Celia would never go back on her word, I don’t want to end my life anymore. I… I will have to spend the rest of my life repenting for this, I know. But… Celia is still willing to give me the chance to do so. And is that is something that I can never repay her for, and will never forget…