Chapter 626: [I am not him]
The war had finally ended!
Asgard was full of festive mood—cheering and crying in happiness as they stood at the top of the City Wall. The success of this war was really a great boost for the people’s morale, after all, they had already thought of being killed this time and losing everything. However, in some serious turn of fate, the victory and defeat were turned upside down and they had won, protected and saved everything they loved.
Seeing this, the Asgardians followed the soldiers and begun screaming and shouting, “All Hail Asgarddd!!” with all their might.
Many people were extremely happy and excited—Asgardians laughed as they drink wine and even someone drunk from a large barrel directly.
Currently, after several hours of cleaning the forest and inspected that they are not still alive demons and monsters, the crowd of excited soldiers all gathered at the center of the city, drinking and dancing happily. It’s not a proper banquet, after all, there were more normal soldiers and high humans—thus, the Asgardian Clans compromise and let an improper celebration be held outside the City Palace.
In any case, they are not like some stiff clans who adhere in statuses—for the Asgardians, warriors who participated in a glorious war like this was like brothers and sisters with no distinction of race, gender, age, or rank—at least at this kind of time.
Nobles, peasant, civilians, all kinds of people gathered in large bonfire drinking and laughing merrily. Of course, the ones who were going between people and serving them were all civilians and peasants.
However, amidst this excited people was a lone figure sitting at the very dim corner of the circle, drinking wine by himself. Petite and a lonely figure slowly drinking a cup of wine. Having two plates of small snacks and a jug of wine, he helps himself to the wine, appearing solemn and detached from this cheerful atmosphere.
He was by himself in this rowdy moment.
Around him, deafening laughter and talking echoed but at his side was actually solemnity.
A deep gloomy solemnity.
A distance of roughly five meters could be seen between him and the nearest people from his location and yet he seems to be miles away from them.
Isolation…discrimination… or something along those lines, probably. However, the figure didn’t care as his childish face was still hanging his usual faint, yet detached smile as he drinks one cup and another. It’s as if he doesn’t really care about what was happening around him as he drinks alone, satisfied with the peace and quiet.
Obviously, many people had seen him. In fact, with his earlier performance and appearance, he stuck like a sore thumb no matter where he goes. However, everyone was hesitant to come over and approach him. He was a demon… and he was a bit strange… anyway, many people doubted his status. They could only look at him from afar, whispered from each other and glance at him from time to time.
However, it was an astonishing sight that greeted them.
Savoring the moment with care and detached from reality, the child-like Allen drank alone, downing one cup after another. He seemed to be enjoying himself but only felt as he was lonely. His figure seemed lonely yet also proud—he was not isolated by others, he seemed to show.
He detached himself from the world by himself, not by others. That seemed to be the one he was expressing as he drinks his cups with a light smile and obvious satisfaction. This kind of perception struck many people, giving them a sensation as if he was sitting and drinking with a different time and space from them with each of his movements, graceful and elegant.
That other time, and that other space… was a profound mystery to those people.
The others felt a very unfathomable feeling at that time; this person can’t be considered of this world. In fact, he never ought to be of this world. This particular feeling was obviously very absurd to their perceptions. However, it still existed.
He was completely different from others…
As if he was born noble, far above normal men.
And so, even if they wanted to, they couldn't find any reason to breakthrough in this world and approach him. This lonely but proud figure...
... ...
Never been this peaceful for a long time… Allen smiled as he picks a piece of lettuce and throws it into his mouth, chewing on it. He looked at his hand. His eyes gleamed and then his vision suddenly changes. His soul was getting blurry…fading.
He had already expected this…
In fact, he had already known. Even with the [ Frosmourne ]’s help, he would only be able to at least last longer—months, years, he doesn’t know how much time he still has. However, one thing for sure, he would surely disappear.
Especially now!
For some unknown reason, it was quickening, as if being hurried. It was not without solution though—either he would be like Virgil, be torn apart from the original body and would have another existence or eliminate the original’s soul and take over.
Both solutions have the same consequences!
—And it’s not something he wanted to happen…!
Like Virgil and Dante, the first solution would make him wanted to kill the other Allen and absorb him to his body. Like doppelgangers finding each other, one cannot let another exist at the same time and place. Hate and killing intent would surely appear even if they didn’t want to. But the outcome would be that, the original Allen will cease to exist—they are the same so it should have no problem.
Indeed, it was like that, but in front of the family he loves—it means everything…!
He and the other Allen might have been born from the same soul but in fact, both have the different personality and characters, especially when the [Mark of Cain] had infected him, he had already turned into a different existence.
The only relief he had was that, unlike the situation of Virgil and Dante, Allen and him, has no real evilness within them that would be exploited by the Curse of the Fallen. And so, he was able to at least retain his heart, where Virgil had not!
When the first Solomon was split into two, Dante had already lost the original sin that humankind had inherited from their ancestor within his body and become a pure body, not as pure as the Holy Mother though, but he was still one of those can be said to be—a soul bearing an Archangel.
Without the original sin, even if he was split again between evil and good, it was nothing but the already leftover wickedness of a human soul, a kind of small taint in a white sheet of silk!
And the [Mark of Cain] couldn’t overwhelm this kind of soul and use the original sin to control his body!
That was why he was able to retain his heart and an emotion of love even with the cursed soul…
But this caused him pain and bewilderment these past few days. This so called-heart—he wanted to live and become the real and only Allen. However, even with that, he felt a pain in his heart whenever he thinks about his family. Although he was still Allen, and the Allen that they met and loved—but this was the matter of conscience.
He actually wanted to scream and cry, the other Allen was the one who had stolen everything from him. He was the one who is bad, is evil—but when he thought about what had happened in the previous life, he couldn’t help but recall Allen’s words.
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I was always with you—
When you needed me, all the time, I was the one was there… you ask for my help, you call for me… we had never been apart from each other!
You? You are not a different person... you are me, and I am you. Your decision and character back then, all of it was influenced by me...
When you feel you have nothing, I was always there...
What had happened in the previous life was different from their current condition. Because, just like what Allen had said before, they were still the same person, even if they have different views. Both of them were like leaves of the same branch. But now, it was completely different!
Because of the [Mark of Cain], he had become another seed that could be planted to create another plant. If he really goes and absorbs the other Allen, he would be the one who is stealing everything from him!
He was not Allen anymore… but another person like Vergil had become…
This is not an exaggeration but a fact…
It wasn't Allen that had changed--but him who had transformed into something else...something different...!
And this realization had struck a huge blow on him. Make him grieve and cry for who knows how long—if not for Lime’s care of him all this time, he would have succumbed to the voice of the [Mark of Cain] and fell negative. Lime’s moral support really helps him pulled him out of the darkness…
Even still… it was really hard to accept!
If only he was like Virgil and was able to heartlessly ignore any consequences…that would have been much better…
Unfortunately, he has a heart...a heart that loves.
And so, Allen has left no choice but to slowly accepted it. He would disappear…but at least not forever. He would just return to where he should have been and still able to be with the family he loved deeply in his heart. Just that, if he did another problem would pop out—even without Virgil, Allen would be once again affected by the Original Sin. Just hope that it wouldn’t influence anything…
But that problem wouldn't be his anymore--that would be the other Allen's problem.
"...What a troublesome and complicated existence I am.."
Without a single noise, he poured all his feelings, grief and solitariness into the cups and drank them all away. Everything flowed into his stomach!
He wanted to cry… but couldn’t…
He doesn’t know what to think nor what to do…
He felt as he was in a dream, every single person and every other thing mattered no more. There was only him, drinking away his worries.
The only way to drown sorrows was to shut it out!
The only way to shut sorrows out was wine!
Suddenly—
“Worrying about something?”
A figure suddenly appeared and started walking towards his direction. The figure interestingly looked at Allen, and then suddenly smiled and said: "You have quite a sorrowful moment? Lonely without Eerika?"
This sentence caught the attention of the boy in black, but even then his expression didn't change as he slowly raised his eyes to look at the figure that had called out to him. Mair Mimir. A familiar girl he had remembered from the party the last time he was here. The girl who can see everything with her eyes. A unique being even among Asgardians.
As Allen was looking at her, curious, Mair was as well was quite surprised. She realized that this man's eyes was different from before. It seemed as boundless as a sea; like they were as hidden in-depth as a starry night sky!
It felt like his eyes could trap a person into feeling a sense of being wanted...allured and captivated. Just by looking into his eyes, was like looking at the narcissist descendants of the Gods of Love and Beauty. One would find it hard to extricate themselves from him...
“Hmm… you can say that. Though, the night is just too wonderful…” Allen responded slowly in an unhurried tone. Each and every word from his mouth came out with precise clarity. He then poured the wine in the cup into his mouth, holding an empty cup, and praised: "This wine is really good—although like a fire, but with a sweet taste, there is a trace of silk. Ambrosia from the Gods indeed. It accommodates one’s heart and seems to sweep away one’s troubles…"
“Trouble? Does His Excellency have troubles? That’s something I can’t imagine…” Mair smiled wryly as she walked over, and sat down in front of the black-clothed youth casually. She then took Allen’s empty cup and poured wine on it, then took a sip.
"Who doesn't?" Allen turned at her and tilted his head. His lips curling upward, “There’s no such thing as a human being without trouble. Everyone has their own, only the dead don’t have such worries…”
He was now looking the tabletop in front of him: "...And if I remember it correctly, I did not allow you to sit in front of me; much less use my cup. Such a casual behavior in front of a man is not a lady should display~"
"I, the lady didn’t even care about such things, why would you?" Mair smiled: "I didn't want to stand, so I obviously sat down. Whether I sit or lie down, what difference does it make?"
Allen chuckled and shook his head, “…as you please then,” he took the cup from Mair’s hand and drunk the remaining wine. Mair didn’t stop him and just watch him, with surprisingly gentle eyes.
Truthfully, the wine was nothing special, it was even slightly weak in taste compared to the ones made by the infamous God of Madness, Dionysius, and for someone like Allen who had drunk top-grade wines, especially in the mortal world, the wine was even a bit difficult for him to drink. However, Allen was not considering it a good or bad wine. Even if he were to be given celestial fairy wine, he would not be able to taste any of it.
All he could feel now was bitterness, sourness, and sorrow…
The complicated woven destiny of life--which he couldn’t fight against with or ignore. A harsh fate…
Yet one more cup was downed, but Allen had yet to feel drunk. He simply continued pouring one cup after another, gulping it down…
Allen did not realize that his act of casting everything away, as though he was the only one in the world, had completely isolated him from everything, the Heavens and Earth… It could have only come from the loneliness of a person forsaken by his own world. The faint feelings of joy and loneliness, all merged perfectly into one upon his body.
At first, Mair was with him, sometimes taking his cup and help herself with it. Picking up another cup didn’t even cross her mind as they shared one cup, drinking together without saying anything. But as the time passed by, she stops and was now staring intently at Allen who was completely disregarding her existence.
But she wasn’t angry or annoyed. Instead, she felt a sudden pain—perhaps in this place, only she can understand what he was really feeling. Though not entirely, but at least she had some clue as to what is happening that even Eerika didn’t know.
She watched as Allen sat alone, drinking away his sorrows, exuding an elegant loneliness; his tolerance deep and far beyond the norm. How much did he drink by now? Such thoughts appeared inside her mind but she didn’t say as if fearing to break this tranquil moment.
Allen, in fact, did not know how much wine he had drunk; he only continued raising his cup. Barrel after barrel was emptied and set aside.
As he was about to down another cup, he suddenly heard someone speaking out.
“If you have any troubles or problems, I might be inexperienced but I can still lend an ear…” Mair suddenly muttered with a faint smile. “I don’t really know what you are feeling right now nor what it was troubling you but…drowning in wine is not the only solution to relieve one’s pain and sorrow. Sharing it to others is also a way to elevate one’s emotions,”
Allen’s hand paused in the air. He turned around and looks at her, “Thank you…Lady Mair. However, it’s not something to be known by others, nor was it meant to be. If not, it will only create a chain of sorrows and sadness…something I don’t wish to see.”
“Then, you’re just going to bottle it up…and endure it alone? Wouldn’t that be quite pitiful…?” Mair’s voice was surprisingly gentle.
“Whether it makes me pitiful or not—it’s something I don’t have a choice of…” Allen smiled wryly.
“... You... can you...” Mair frowned. Her face turned bitter and she subconsciously bit her lips. “... only live the fate given to you as well...?”
"... ..." Allen's arm trembled and he glanced at Mair, slightly surprised. But it was only for momentarily and his lips turned into a gentle smile.
Probably, aside from her, only Allen has the ability to understand what she was talking about.
Mair was the princess of the Mimir Norse Clan. A very distinguished family even among the Norse Clan. At this rate, she would eventually bear the fate of becoming the Lady of the Family. However, she wasn't satisfied with that fate. She wanted to live freely rather than travel down the path laid down for her.
That was one of the reasons for why she had devoted herself to her own path that she wanted to traverse—it might even look like she was fighting desperately against her fate but she was born stubborn and wanted to prove that she could choose what future she wanted.
When Allen had appeared before her that night, she had hoped that he would be the one to free her from her path. She risked everything and approaches him that night—
Yet, in this war, she suddenly realized something—that Allen was yet another one troubled by the path laid down before him. You could say that Mair’s hopes had been off. She felt disappointed. However, at the same time, there was an emotion budding within her.
That was sympathy for the suffering of Allen, and a sense of yearning born from that sympathy.
She had given him the title of a Hero…but for all she knows, the life of a Hero was the worst kind of life of any being in the Thousand World.
…and surely, this was the one that caused this carefree-laded youth to display this kind of sorrow and solemnity at this very moment.
Something, even she couldn’t understand…!
This person, who even wielded the power of a God, the strength that can slaughter a million of an army in an instant, knows the pain of living in accordance with his fate.
A Fate that couldn’t be ignored and avoided…
A Hero’s life…is like a tragedy novel…
And it would never be avoided as it sticks to him like a brand once he was chosen…
“Is the fact that you’re not the real one, worried you?” Mair suddenly spoke out, her tone gentle. It’s as if she was saying was not one surprising matter but just an ordinary matter like asking what he was drinking. “Though I hardly believe it but I can still see a resemblance. But you are at least not the one who had appeared here last time, am I right? But you claimed to be his clone…and yet you seemed not the same person. What is really going on with you?”
“So you can see it?”
Allen wasn’t the least bit shock and asked with a faint smile.
“You’re not even trying to hide it. And so, even for me, I would surely notice something…” Mair paused for a moment, then suddenly said something unexpected.
“Are you Vergil? The Demon of Absolute Evil?”
“… …”
… …