Seeing the street more alive improves my mood as I continue on to the inn. When I get upstairs Isabella is there, and that is when I realize I didn't empty the ore out of the backpack like I had planned to. That was the whole point of visiting the blacksmiths, but I got distracted with testing their skill and forgot.
So I set the backpack on the table and pour ore into my pouch until it is full again. I am guessing that it took a little under a ton of ore to fill the pouch, so not even a full pile from the backpack. The backpack should be able to hold everything Isabella needs to and then some.
After giving the backpack back to Isabella I head downstairs to order dinner for the two of us. I tell Sarah she is welcome to join us but she tells me she has a lot of people wanting to talk to her, probably about my actions. They don't really have any reason to trust me, so they are probably looking to Sarah to vouch for me.
So I end up having dinner with Isabella, just the two of us, and again I feel slightly uncomfortable. Once again I ignore the feeling, it is either my imagination or something I really don't want to think about. So we end up eating in silence, it is not altogether unpleasant, but I kind of wish there was someone else with us.
"Are you nervous about your mission tomorrow?"
Isabella says "Yes, a little. It's not the mission itself so much as how much is depending on it."
"Don't worry too much, I am more worried about the people than the money. I can always find other ways to get my hands on gold."
Isabella says "I love how much you care about people, even those you barely know."
"It's not so much that I care about them in particular, it is more like I don't like the situation they are forced into. If it comes down to a choice between them and what needs to be done they will lose. But when I have the power to affect their situation without it damaging the bigger picture then I will do what I can."
Isabella says "So it isn't the people as individuals but just the fact that they are in a bad situation?"
"Kinda, it's hard to explain. You see, if I met someone who was in a bad situation through their own doing I'd leave them alone. The people in that village were forced into a bad situation and had no way to fight it."
Isabella says "So the powerless who are being taken advantage of?"
"Yeah, something like that."
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Isabella says "That is a fairly heroic way of seeing things."
"Yes, but I'm not a hero. If those same people stood between me and someone I needed to kill I would cut right through them. I might regret it later but I would still do it."
Isabella says "That's rather jaded, is there such a thing as a jaded hero?"
"How should I know? I don't think of myself as a hero at all, I just do what I need to do. I have been put in a position where the things I need to do affect a lot of other people and they might see me as a hero."
Isabella says "So if enough people call you a hero doesn't that make you a hero regardless of how you view yourself?"
"I don't know, maybe."
Isabella says "You know, I think this is the most you have ever said to me."
"In my defense I think this is the first quiet moment we have shared since we met."
Isabella says "You mean since you saved me from being raped by someone I thought was my friend?"
"Ahem, yeah, I guess so. Anyway, you should get some sleep, you've got an early morning tomorrow."
Isabella says "What about you?"
"I've got some planning to do, I can get by on two hours of meditation."
Isabella says "More plans? Don't you have enough going at once?"
"Not more plans, I need to work on the next stages of my current plans."
Isabella says "Oh, I figured you would have all that worked out already."
"I do, but recently I have realized I need to make sure my plans don't cause collateral damage if it can be avoided."
Isabella says "I doubt you can avoid all casualties, especially with how many plans you have going."
"Oh, I'm not trying to avoid all casualties, I just want to make sure only those I want hurt get hurt."
Isabella says "Who do you want to hurt?"
"Well, my list of targets includes the merchants guild and the nobles who are against the summoned for starters."
Isabella says "It sounds like you are getting more and more ambitious as time goes on."
"No, it isn't ambition, I've just included the summoned as people to protect."
Isabella says "You know, the more people you protect, the more you will be called a hero."
"Hero, villain, it doesn't matter to me what they call me. Although, the most accurate would probably be a monster."
Isabella says "You are not a monster!"
"Actually, I am, I have the strength and power of a monster. If I really wanted to I could probably destroy Illium all on my own. And that is just currently, I plan to become much stronger."
Isabella says "Just because you are strong and powerful does not make you a monster!"
"I didn't actually say I was a monster, just that that would be the most accurate thing to call me."
Isabella says "Well, anyone who does call you a monster is going to get hit if any of us are around!"
"Good thing you have a mission to complete then isn't it!"
Isabella says "Even if I'm not here, the others will have a similar reaction if they hear someone call you a monster."
"Well, there is nothing I can really do about that. That is a problem I will deal with when it happens."
Isabella says "Just as long as you know, it will eventually happen."
"Yeah, I will try to plan for it."
Isabella says "Alright, I'm going to get some sleep now, goodnight, Ash."
"Goodnight, Isabella, sleep well."
Once Isabella goes to bed I turn to planning, deep into the night I think through all my plans and how it will affect people. I make changes where I can to avoid hurting innocents, but only if it doesn't hurt the plan. No matter what, my goals take precedence, getting ready for the invasion is what matters.