Victoria Electra sipped diet strawberry cola and reclined at her table in the food court. Her hair, platinum cherry blond, enforced by a pair of lightning shaped hairclips trailed down to her shoulders and she clutched a mini yellow purse with a helpless chihuahua in it. His wide marbley eyes pleaded someone to liberate him from prison. Her friends were equally frilly and gaudy, complete with matching yellow blazers and grey mini skirts to mirror hers.

Together, at the Valley Mall, they engaged in their favorite sport and pastime--cutting those they didn't like with sharp words. It was harder to do now that high school ended, but Victoria managed to survive in her new, habitat. After all, her motto was, "High school is temporary, but mean girling is forever!"

The sliding automatic door opened, and three hapless girls entered, each more laughable than the next.

There was Trudy Cumberson, a big cheeked young woman with an even rounder waist. Her dumpy appearance and interested in kumquat print dresses made Humpty Dumpty look chic. Winona Sumac followed, a morbid spikey haired Cherokee and the Banshees reject from the eighties. Wearing a leathery jacket, school girls uniform and knee high boots, it was surprising, there was more safety pins in her jacket than her face. And last, and certainly least, Mina Hawkins, that annoyingly perky pinko wannabe who was….ugh…brunette–the antithesis of her platinum blond royalty.

Victoria's nose wrinkled intensely like a facial spasm. She turned to Ariel Headly, her second in command.

"Well well," she remarked with a wince. "If it isn't the three splooges! Did you get dressed today or did your dressers just throw up on you?!"

Mina, who smiled naturally, groaned. "Vicki…high school is over. We don't need to hear any more of your mean girl putdowns."

Winona and Trudy nodded. "What more do you want?" Trudy demanded, her face equally twisted in pain and sadness. "You got to be voted Homecoming Queen four years in a row…Only my friends voted for me."

The mega goth Winona smirked knowingly. "She wasn't voted Homecoming Scream…that was me!"

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"You three all make me scream!" Victoria sneered. "Just by how ugly you are. And much like your time n high school, you didn't amount to anything at all…"

Trudy cleared her throat. Her voice deep but proud. "Actually I'm one of the top Yowlers in California. Even with the Les Schargo incident I quickly got reinstated."

Winona laughed. "And I have to most gloomarvelous job. I work at a morgue and much like the bodies, my pay is cold and hard!"

Winona leaned forward, her hands on her thighs. "What about you, Victoria? Still living on mommy's money?"

Victoria's eyes bugged and she frantically looked around like a drowning swimmer, desperately searching for a floatation device.

Her eyes locked on Mina and her confidence returned. "I know you're a lawyer, pinky, but the gossip is, nobody in Business Park wants someone as wet behind the earrings as you! The true movers and shakers of this town have no use for a snot nosed child in a pantsuit!"

Mina cringed. It made Victoria beam with joy. She cared less about destroying the other two bozos than landing a real killer blow on Mina.

"I'll tell you this," Victoria continued with a look of sadism in her eyes. "My mother…would NEVER hire a rookie lawyer like you. She'd hire a suave senior lawyer like Silver Mason or the Over 45 Lawyering Co who has like, y'know actual experience beyond a few fluke cases!"

Mina had lost her goofy smile. Her pasty fingers balled into white fists. "Just you wait, Victoria. Wait til you're in real poo and you'll learn it's not good to burn bridges!"

Victoria threw her hand forward. "I burned you long ago, darling. Now run along. Maybe you can find something in this mall that would make you trio of hags look less passe."

"Go to heck, Vicki," Mina muttered as she stomped off.

"Hell's too good for her," Winona added. "She should go to heaven…"

Vicki turned to her cohorts. "Whew," she said, breathing out. "All this mean girling has made me need the little mean girls room!"

Ariel gave her a lobotomized, "Like totally!"

"Hopefully," Victoria said with a wink. "I can lose a few pounds in water weight in there. C'mon Taco."

She lifted the purse, pulling the tiny dog with her and strutted towards the mall's restroom. Not a single thought crossed her mind until she lifted the door handle. The bathroom was dark and she groped for the light switch.

The lights clicked on and she let out a piercing scream.