Mina burst through the door of her legal firm, expecting to see her worst nightmare, but much to her relief, only Raven was there. In his purple tuxedo, he grinned callously. His pile of frizzy brunette hair was carefully arranged out of order and his playful dark eyes glinted when they saw her.

"W...whuh?" Mina muttered. "What the huh? Where is the mayor?"

Raven gave a squawk of laughter. "You really expect Da Mayor of Business Park to come here personally? Suit up in your best fancy pants, kiddo, because we're taking a field trip down to the biggest mansion that money can buy!"

Mina crossed her arms. She shook her head, causing her pony tail to swing.

"Why so stern, kid?" Raven laughed. "You look like you're about to charge me for an overdue library book."

"Monty Banks?" Mina demanded. "The crook politician so crooked he makes most criminals look straight in comparison?"

"Hey now," Raven laughed. "He's not that flamboyant!"

"You know what I mean," Mina pouted. "And well, you know what he's been accused of. Do you really want to defend a suspected terrorist?"

Raven dropped his arms in resignation. "I thought you'd be happy that me...and especially you have scored the greatest case of your lifetime!"

"And be on the wrong side of history?" Mina said.

Raven strutted over to Mina and wrapped his hand around her shoulder. He extended his hand to an invisible star in the sky. "As a professional lawyer, you need to not see the world in black and white, but rather shades of green! Imagine the Benjamins lining your wallet!"

Mina shook her head. "Money isn't everything....."

Raven raised his bushy eyebrows and whispered in her ear. "They can pay off your student loans for law school!"

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

It was like a cash register went off in Mina's brain. She dropped to her knees and bowed at Raven's feet. "All hail the mighty D'Allah!"

Raven cackled. "Nothing converts em faster."

***

The Banks mansion was so wide, it stretched across an entire grassy plain in the countryside. Acres and acres of verdant lawn with a flock of plastic pink flamingos were stationed outside. Armys of lawn gnomes also patrolled the premises. As Mina passed through the gate, she gagged at the amount of lawn ornaments.

"I already hate this place," Mina muttered. "It screams, tacky, overpayed, out of touch politician."

"Hey now, kid," Raven snapped from behind the wheel. "We're here to lay down the law, not the lawn gnomes!"

"Don't I gnome..." Mina said, rolling her eyes.

Upon parking in the staff lot, Mina realized how far away the mansion was from the lot. "And now he's making his staff walk all this way too," Mina said. "Hardly a considerate person..."

Raven moonwalked in place. "Hey, maybe he's concerned about the staff's physical fitness. Gotta look on the bright side, kid! Or rather the bright sign. Dollar signs that is!"

Normally, a lover of his cheesy puns, but not in her current mood, all Mina could do was heave a sigh.

Raven pranced happily to the front door of the massive manor. Mina was starting to feel a bit antsy. After all, she didn't want to tell Mayor Monty Banks she not only planned to vote against him, but participated in the Monty Spanks campaign where local campaign managers for Greta Goode, created an enormous Banks effigy and everyone took turns kicking its rear. It was pretty juvenile, but it felt good at the time.

Neither did she want to mention the amount of anti Monty memes she reposted on Instasham. She prayed that when he met her, he wouldn't recognize her from photos at the event or her social media. Otherwise, that would jeopardize her sweet freedom from those cursed student loans. With her heart in her mouth, she took a lock of her brunette hair and pinched it between her upper lip and nose. "Do you think he'll recognize me if I have a mustache?" she asked as Raven rang the doorbell.

But Raven didn't answer. The door creaked open, and a middle aged bald man answered. He was heavyset and clad in a hideous cheese yellow and puke green suit. He lisped in a deep voice and pointed a hand gun at Mina's head. "If thith is a court order," he said, his pudgy hands shaken. "I didn't do it. I'm innothent! Oh dear me!"

Mina squeaked in horror. "Are you gonna shoot me? We're your lawyers, Monty!"

"Oh..." Monty said, and pulled his gun away. "So you are. Don't worry. Ith a water gun!"

He began to giggle in his dopey voice provoking Mina to grumble and roll her eyes. "This is already off to a great start! But I guess he can't be arrested for possessing water arms..."