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Chapter 2: Legal Suit Larry

"I'm s-s-sorry," Mina squeaked, trying to make her eyes seem bigger and watery.

It took a second, but Justice Divine Justice's scowl ceased. Instead, she said calmly, "take a seat, Miss Hawkins."

"Thaaaaank yoooou!" Mina wailed as she made her way over to the bench where her client, Trudy Cumberson was sitting.

"And can the theatrics!" Justice shouted. "I know a drama club reject in this court when I see one!"

Mina gave another 'yes ma'am,' before she sat beside her friend.

Trudy was a dowdy heavy set woman in her early twenties. Sporting a round face, pigtails and circular glasses, she dressed in a white long sleeve shirt, a dark blue mini skirt and wore a nervous expression. Her face eased when she saw her best friend.

"You were great!" Trudy whispered in her husky voice, causing Mina to blush.

"Thanks Trudy," the young attorney said, "but I kinda embarrassed myself up there."

Trudy's dull eyes magnified behind her glasses. "I thought the plan was to distract the court with a lot of stupidity so I could make a quick getaway."

Mina rolled her eyes. "Trudy, if you're innocent, you don't want to run away."

"Oh right…"

"Either way," Trudy said, as she nervously tugged at her collar. "I'm happy that my best friend took my case. No other lawyer would touch my stinky case with a ten foot pole."

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Mina grasped her friend's pudgy hands. "What are bestie super friends for? Besides, I know you've been taking the fall for other people's crimes since kindergarten."

Trudy's eyes watered. "I just wish it was stolen cookies and crayons I was on trial for. I didn't kill this chef!"

The two girls were interrupted by an awkward, tentative laugh from across the room.

"Oh yes you did, criminal, and it's up to me to subdue you with my mad prosecution skills!"

The high and wimpy voice came from a middle aged man on the opposing bench. He was short, stout and with a retreating hairline that showed off his shiny bald head. But it wasn't his unremarkable face that drew the court's attention, it was his ridiculous bright white leisure suit.

With a revealing v-neck that showcased his small, hairless chest, a star spangled polyester fabric and red, white and blue streamers dangling from his arms when he stood up, the man had obviously missed the memo that it was the 21st century and discoteques were on the way out.

"Rudy Cucumber," he announced in his diminutive voice. "Your legal reckoning has come. Plead guilty now, or I will prosecute you until you say 'uncle'.

"Speaking of uncles," Mina asked, turning her head to her friend. "Is that your weird uncle, Trudy? The one who likes onions, disco and strange VHS tapes from the 70s?"

"Uh no," Trudy said, trying hard to avert the man's gaze. "That's Les Schargo's prosecutor for this trial. His name is…"

"The name's Larry," the man proclaimed. "Legal Suit Larry! I am…and I have the best suit in the biz!"

Legal Suit Larry crossed his arms, sending his streamers fluttering. "I've been in this legal biz for 25 years, and…" he eyed Mina. "Uh, miss attorney?"

"Uh yesh?" Mina asked, feeling very confused.

"With just my pinky," The man said and raised his pinky. "I will own you, pinky!"

He gave an effeminate giggle. "Get it? Since you're dressed all in pink?"

Mina did not get his joke or the purpose of the pun, but a bead of sweat still traveled down her neck.

"25 years?" Mina thought to herself. "The man is odd, but he probably could school me. I better be careful or this could be my final case."