Mina tapped on her pen making sure the ink would come out. O'Law was unflinching on the stand as she delivered her testimony (though it could just be the Slotox). She barked proudly in her husky voice.
"I received a report from the food court at the Valley Mall that there was a dead body in the bathroom..." she said, gravely. "And I came right over..."
"Hold it!" Mina cried, desperate to get more information. "How long did it take you to get down to the mall? I had just left when it was reported."
The chief gave a slight nod of her head. "I was actually doing some shopping, rookie, so I was already there. But when duty calls, I could even be on the toilet and I'd get my booty down to the scene of the crime."
Mina rubbed her chin with her fountain pen. "Perhaps...I can grill her a bit more. After all, she didn't say what corner of the mall she was at. She could be halfway across the mall, and that would have given the culprit time to run and set up my client."
Mina threw her hand forward, doing the famous Eagle Attorney pose. "And what part of the mall were you at? Did it take you a long time to get to the crime scene."
A hint of sweat dripped down the chiefs otherwise well-made up face. "Er...uh...no comment..."
There was a scowl on the judges face. She looked like a grumpy old cat ready to pounce. "Excuse me, why can't you answer her question, Chief O'Law...do you have something to hide?!"
"Exactomundo!" Mina squawked doing her best Raven impression. "Of course, she's got something to hide...otherwise she wouldn't have recused herself."
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"I...uh..." The tall police chief said. "I was...uh...okay, fine. I was at the Giv Toys 2 Us store and I was shopping..."
"Uh...why?" Mina asked. "Were you searching for a murder weapon?! Perhaps a plastic handgun with real bullets?!"
The whole crowd rumbled angrily. But they seemed to realize Mina was just doing a ridiculous bluff. As did the judge. "Miss Attorney, I do believe you are taking this cross examination too far...the chief of police clearly has an alibi. Though I would want to know why she was at the toy store?"
The composed chief seemed to fall to pieces. "Okay...I was here because..." she reached into her back pocket and removed a blond doll dressed in a police uniform with a safety vest and head visor.
The tough woman's eyes gleamed brightly and she gushed like someone younger than her unspecified middle age. "They finally have a police chief Malibu Harley! With an arresting fashion sense and a sworn duty to enforce the latest fashion trends. I wish they had one when I was just a girl and...!"
"Order!" the judge exclaimed slamming her gavel. "The only thing we've learned from this cross examination is...the police chief is a real wo-manchild who plays with dolls! I believe we should hear the rest of her testimony before I have a middle aged crisis too!"
"Sorry..." Mina said, smiling nervously. "Just wanted to be thorough."
The chief continued like she hadn't undermined her maturity level greatly. "When I received the call, I dropped buying the Malibu Dream-Police Station and rushed over to the bathroom. I passed a wet floor sign on the way in that was leaned against the wall. I found this odd as the only thing wet on the floor was the victims blood. I saw this snooty blond girl kneeled over him crying...but she was crying strangely."
"How so?!" Mina asked.
The chief cast an accusatory glance over at Vicki. "I can't believe I'm saying this," the chief said. "But she was crying and quickly dabbing her eyes to avoid tears streaks and wet eyeliner running down her face."
"Like, of course I was," Vicki cried in her valley girl's drawl. "Haven't you heard of 'pretty crying'"?!
The judge shook her head in disbelief. "So you mean to tell me, you were more concerned about how you looked than the fact your ex boyfriend was dead?!"
The crowd gasped and Mina wished they could go back to talking about grown women playing with dolls. Vicki had just made herself look completely insensitive over the murder victim's body.