Beside the famous Les Schargo's 4 Star Restaurant was a former warehouse. It had been transformed by the trendy types from the snooty bohemian part of town into a trendy cafe that served coffee and snark over the counter.

Mina, Winona and Trudy walked up a steel stairwell to a door with a wooden sign hanging above it. In curly cursive letters determined to look elegant read, Le Coffee Shoppe.

Bells jingled as they opened the door and Mina immediately wrinkled her button nose. "Yech...it smells like hipster in here!"

"What exactly does irony smell like?" Trudy asked, pursing her lips. "I don't believe I've ever been in here."

"It smells like coffee, cigarettes and irony!"

"Irony?" Winona said, slightly wincing over her friends hostile blow. "Something can't exactly smell like irony."

Mina pointed to a chubby, shirtless, beanie wearing hipster who was ironing his flannel shirt.

"Sorry, I meant ironing!" Mina giggled. "Now let's get the dirt on what happened to Chet."

She strolled across the coffee brown wood floor towards a marbled counter. Behind bins of day old pastries was a blond haired barista with buck teeth, a knit cap and pig tails wore red and black flannel and skinny jeans. She greeted them with a burst of happiness (or possibly caffeinated energy.)

"HIHIHI! WELCOME TO LE COFFEE SHOPPPE! Which may or may not be French, but otherwise just sounds artistic and fancy!"

"Hi," Mina said, trying but failing to be equally chipper. "Uh...uh..."

The hipster chick grinned her buck teeth grin. She had a name tag reading: HC.

"Hi HC!"

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

HC responded with a wink. "How would you like your overpriced mocha latte and artisan lettuce sandwich?"

"Ooh!" Mina exclaimed, rubbing her hands together. "What makes it artisan?"

HC rolled her eyes. "Uh, it's served at a hipster coffee shop so it's artsy and...?"

"Lettuce sandwich?" Trudy muttered, "I hate to be that girl, but where's da meat?!"

HC suddenly got very cross. She placed her hands on her hips and scowled at Trudy. "All hipster coffee shops are vegan. Don't you know that? Even the milk in our coffee is soylent but deadly!"

"I just hope there aren't any people in it!" Mina said, shivering.

"What a way to go," Winona sighed. "Being ground into coffee just to fuel my gothic poetry and anxiety."

Mina nervously placed a hand on Winona's shoulder. "As your lawyer, Winona, I really advise you not say stuff like that."

"Right..." Winona said solemnly. "We're here for Chet. Do you know his whereabouts, HC?"

"Ahhh..." HC said dreamily. "The handsome stud of a bass player for Sex Goomba. After you two had your little lovers' spat, a bunch of odd men came in and surrounded him."

"Unusual?"" Mina asked. "How do?"

"Well for one," HC answered. "They sure didn't look like scene editors for Pitch-Spork, that's for sure. They all wore greasy shirts and suspenders that didn't hide their hairy butt cracks. They also sounded like they came from Italy!"

"What the W-H-A-T?" Mina exclaimed. "Did Chet get himself involved with a plumber's union?"

Winona raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I don't know. I haven't ever seen him do any manual labor. Unless switching game cartridges counts!"

HC sighed with her head in hands. "Or playing some mean licks on his bass guitar!"

"Hey sister," Winona exclaimed. "Only I can remember him fondly."

"Remember him fondly?" Mina gasped. "You act like he's passed on."

"That would be so beautifully tragic," Winona gushed in her husky voice. "And darkly romantic."

"Note to self," Mina muttered. "Goths make the biggest suspects due to their death obsession."

"Any way," HC answered. "I heard a bit of the conversation Chet had with the men. They said they worked for a guy named the Gamefather!"

"Yowie!" Mina said, holding her hands to her cheeks. "Lawdy. Is he the father of the Gameboy?"

"I dunno," HC said, "but then they said were demanding the goods! And if not, he'd have to come downtown."

"Goods?!" Mina and Trudy gasped with their eyes wide. "Is Chet a drug user?"

Winona sighed and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. After lighting it and taking a drag, she muttered. "He is a user. A video game user."

The goth turned her purple contacted eyes to Mina. They were wide with horror. "I know now what happened...Chet got himself kidnapped by the Used Game Mafia."