"HC?" Winona exclaimed, "What in Satan's name are you doing on the witness stand?"

The lumberjack flannel wearing hipster chick leaned forward, her buck teeth jutting out. "Silencio, Gothsheba!" she said in her quirky voice. "I run the case here and I'm the judge, jury, executioner and also the cute backing vocalist for Braggart Beaver!"

"She sure looks like a beaver," the judge remarked with an eye roll.

Blind Justice shook his head. "She's not just a beaver but the whole dam. Now don't waterlog your testimony, let's hope it flows."

Wowie, Mina thought to herself, Willy's in such a good mood he's really word playing it up today.

The hipster chick flashed her dental problems and winked at Blind. "Of course, old man. Now how about we talk about Chet. He's hot, indie and a player and that's pretty HIP if you ask me!"

"Right..." Blind answered. "How about you give us his alibi rather than your teenage fantasies! Seriously, it's adolescent enough in here with Hawkins alone."

Mina winced from his barb, moreso than HC. HC grinned nonchalantly. "i was getting to that. Chet is a player...but what I mean is, a player of games! And he comes into our cool loft everyday to play a new one."

HC's eyes went wide. "One day, he came into Le Coffee Shoppe with a golden cartridge that he was playing on his emulator. Now I'm an indie girl. I'm not much for diamonds and gold--I prefer wood and mediocrity--but even I couldn't help but noticed how it sparkled in the sunshine!"

"Right..." Blind said, a smirk curling on his lips. "And you can't just buy golden cartridges at Gamestart can you?"

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

"Nopeity nope, old man!" The hipster chick said shaking her head.

"First off," Blind remarked. "I'm scarcely older than you, beatnik. And second, you are correct. Chet had something an average schlub would never own! Now care to tell us anything else about it? What was he doing with it?"

HC screwed up her face and stuck out her tongue, looking like a beaver with a facial tic. "Playing it duh... And saying he had to unlock the secret code!"

Lou suddenly sat up in his chair. Beginning to tug at his mustache and grimacing. Mina couldn't help but notice this.

"What kind of secret code?!" Mina examined, thrusting her finger forward.

Blind was quick on the uptake. "Objection, your honor. We are looking to find the game, not PLAY the game."

"Agreed, my dearest grandson," Divine smiled with her head in her hands.

"Nepotism at its finest," Mina said rolling her eyes.

"Ignoring that comment," Blind answered. "Perhaps you can tell me where Chet Cody is?"

Suddenly, HC's demeanor changed. She went from a cheery chipmunk to a bothered beaver. "Some guys...a bunch of hairy Italian men came into our idyllic coffee shop the following day. They demanded that Chet 'pay the fee'!"

"May I ask," Blind demanded. "Who were these ne'er do wells? It sounds like a plumber's union gone bad."

Lou gave a hostile, dagger shooting glare at HC.

She gulped. "I think they were...they were..."

Lou took his hand and pretended it was in a Hario side scroller. As his finger walked through the air, he bumped it with his opposing fist and made it fall off the makeshift 'screen'.

"I don't want to end up in a human pizza!" she said and pulled up knit cap over her eyes.

"Why?!" Blind screamed. "Who exactly in this town would serve up a pie of flesheroni pizza?!"

The hipster chick started to sob into her lumberjack knit cap. Her wavery voice sounded like a twittering chipmunk mourning over a lost acorn. "Oh I don't want to die. I could have been the next Helen Wage. I even shoved pillows up my shirt so I could audition for Juni. Not to mention, I have such an annoying voice so all indie bands would take me!"

Both Blind and Divine were so dumbfounded by a twee hipster crying fit that Mina sensed a perfect opportunity to make a play

"Your honor!" Mina beamed. "If I may fill in the blank, these weren't any ordinary plumbers. They were video game plumbers and they worked for none other than the Gamefather himself!"

Farabutto frozen in place. "Lou Farabutto!" Mina cried. "I call you back to the stand! And this time, there's no hiding the salami!"