"Great juggling jesters," Raven exclaimed. "It's Officer Rita O'Law! What does she want?"
"More like Rita, oh lawd!" Mina examined with her hands to her cheeks. "All I know is someone is in deep Doo Doo."
Everyone turned their heads to Monty Banks. "Gadzooks!" he mumbled. "Why's everyone looking at me?! Do you want me to be incriminated?"
"Why I neva," Georgia Peach said in her countryish drawl.
She whipped out a fan and began fanning herself. "There's no way my sweet sugar daddy is guilty! He's more innocent than a newborn babe! And balder than one too!"
Monty Banks blushed and rubbed his rosy bald head.
The butler was silent and his eyes darted back and forth.
"Giles!" Monty shouted. "Don't just stand there. Get the door!"
"Right away sir," the butler said, jumping to attention.
The upper class servant speed walked to the door and opened it with a kind smile. "Hello madame officer. Your hairdo looks simply ravishing today! With that short hair bob, you don't look a day over 44."
Rita walked passed him, shoving him aside. Her hairdo swayed back and forth, causing Raven to cackle. "He's right, ya know! Didja just get back from dropping off the kids, Rita?"
"Shut it, Raven," the head officer shouted. "Before I drop you instead."
She turned to Monty Banks. "Mayor?" she proudly displayed her shining golden badge in his face. "I don't take pleasure in doing this...actually, I do since I voted for Greta Goode--"
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"With that hairdo," Raven remarked nudging Mina. "I could believe it!"
Rita cleared her throat angrily. "I have a search warrant for your manor!"
The mayor puffed up like an enraged blowfish. "What could you possibly want to search my house for?"
Mina smirked and looked aside. "Maybe the candy you stole from all those babies?"
"That was one time, kid!" Monty Banks lisped angrily. "And it was just because my blood sugar was low! If I didn't hustle that lollypop from that tyke, I woulda passed out!"
Mina rolled her eyes. "Save that for your testimony. What could you possibly be looking for chief?"
Rita made a gloved fist with a spark of light shining in her eyes. "We had an anonymous tip...that there is something in this unruly man's armory that could incriminate him for our trusty prosecutor!"
For once, the normally sweaty and heavy breathing mayor, calmly eased back into his skin. "My armory? Well, go ahead. Make my day, soccer mom. I'll even lead the way!"
Rita looked at one of her fellow officers. "This is the first time that a suspect willingly led us to the evidence that will get him thrown in the slammer!"
She threw her hands behind her head and eased up against the wall. "I could get used to this."
***
Even though the mayor claimed he was going to guide them himself, he instead ordered his butler to be his makeshift tour guide. ("Giles, I need to get the biggest bang for your minimum wage!")
Giles lead them through twisting and turning corridors. Mina took note of every stereotypical (and not so stereotypical) piece of rich person memorabilia, ranging from silver suits of armor, gaudy ceramic vases, world famous paintings (or cleverly forged replicas) and lastly, marble statues of women's legs. (Mina was sure this wasn't a staple in all rich person households and if Greta Goode wasn't dead, she could have easily used this as an example of Monty being a tackily dressed pig).
At last, they arrived at an iron door surrounded by several more sets of chain mail. "Now that you've seen my collection of chiseled calves," Monty Banks gloated. "I shall allow you coppers to see inside my personal armory. But first, a disclaimer: All of my firearms, swords, shields and nun-chuks have been legally purchased. I know I've gotten a bad rap, but I do like to set a good example for anyone who would purchase things to do bodily harm to others! Giles!"
Giles turned the keys on his key ring, selected one and fit it inside an enormous padlock. When it opened and clattered to floor, the door creaked open and everyone's mouths dropped in horror.
"Wowie zowie..." Mina squeaked. "No way in heck is that legal..."