Mina felt dizzy as her heart fluttered. Sitting on a stool in the prison cell was her biggest girl crush since Star Skye. Maria Santiago sat with her purple hat tipped over her face, long locks of flowing chocolate hair, and a matching fashionably purple trench coat.

"Pinch me!" Mina exclaimed. "I'm dreaming!"

Unfortunately, when Maria spoke, Mina was woken up faster than a pinch.

"Hola sweetie!"

The voice was high pitched, faintly lisping and ditzy. It was NOT the husky Spanglish of a sultry female criminal.

Maria lifted her hat and revealed the face of…a handsome latino man.

The room spun and she nearly fell backwards, being caught by Raven.

"I know, senorita!" the man said in his effeminate voice. "My style is known to knock people off their feet!"

"Raven?!" Mina gasped, fanning herself. "I don't think that's…"

"But it is!" Raven exclaimed.

Mina pointed in two directions, crossing her eyes in confusion. "But…but…she's a man…"

"Hey now!" Raven said. "Gotta respect her identity! That's your generation, kiddo!"

Mina stood up and closed her eyes. "Right. I'm sorry. She. It's just…when I heard her speak, she didn't have a voice like that!"

"Si," Maria answered. "But I am a man of many faces!"

The criminal mastermind posed with his fedora like he was Jack Michaelson.

"Smooth moves, Maria!" Raven cheered.

"Wait!" Mina exclaimed, feeling more confused than ever. "So you are a man? Maria Santiago is a man?!"

Maria covered his mouth with his fedora, his beautiful dark eyes looking back and forth. "Si! As I am clearly Maria Santiago, sweetie!"

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"Ugggggghhh!" The young attorney stomped her feet. She had gone from totally excited about this case to totally confused and very frustrated. Nothing "Maria" said made any sense.

Suddenly, her eyes brightened. Maybe she could summon her EAP and look into the inner workings of Maria's brain. No doubt there'd be some twisted mazes she'd have to wander through, but when she got to his heart it would all make sense.

She let out a loud "OMMMMMM" causing Maria to remark "And people think I'm unusual…"

Darkness cloaked the room, engulfing everything but Mina and Maria. Immediately, Mina realized her mistake. There was an enormous golden lock with a question mark keyhole on Maria's brain that hung in front of it…taunting her. Maria was truly a mystery locked in an enigma.

She opened her eyes and Maria smiled. "Perhaps you can be my new yoga teacher, darling! Do they have them in prison?"

Mina muttered beneath her breath and then looked at Raven. "No…" she sighed. "But could you please tell me what happened? You claim to be Maria Santiago and I want to believe you, but I need your alibi."

The man who called himself Maria Santiago stepped forward.

For once, there was not a mocking smirk on his handsome, and effeminate foppish face, but a look of resolve. "Si, that I can do, chica. For I was arrested in mi casa! And my crime…?"

Mina balled up her fists and leaned forward, waiting for the tea.

"My crime…" the man said, throwing his hands up in the air, alongside a bunch of glitter he had conveniently stored in his pocket, "was being too beautiful!"

Mina nearly fell backwards from the sheer amount of stupidity of what the man said. Beauty was not a crime, but murder, looting and other vile things were.

"Clearly!" Mina said, "You want to play games with me, rather than tell you the truth."

The man tipped his fedora over his chocolate face and blew a kiss. "If you really must know, senorita. My alibi is what they said on TV! I was the ravishing bandita who stole the Rubylove and the hearts of millions!"

Maria Santiago, or rather the man who claimed he was, through his head back with his hands. "And now they framed me for murder!"

"Do you know who you killed?" Mina asked.

"No!" the man sobbed in anguish.

He dropped to his knees wailing. "I know I have not been forthcoming with you, Senorita. But Maria Santiago did not do it!"

Mina paused for a second.

He just spoke in third person and it made her ponder something.

This man was flamboyant and quite eccentric, but he did not refer to himself in the third person before.

Perhaps she was going cuckoo bananas herself, but maybe he was someone covering for Maria?

A fan?

A female impersonator?

It was like a switch was flipped in her brain. She would get to the bottom of this case, if only for her own personal curiosity.

"Ok…" she said. "I believe you. I believe Maria didn't do it."

"You do???" the man sobbed. "Does this mean you'll take my case?"

Mina winked. "Si, I will take MARIA'S case!"