Dear Diary,

So weird. What happened yesterday, I mean. Like, I get that I can be intimidating. That's one of my better skills that I've had since way back in the day at Eastside. I dunno if it came from reading way too much horror, or I just had a knack, but I could always come up with something that made a dude's balls shrivel up in a way that he didn't lash out. Which is always a concern; dudes are almost always bigger and stronger than women, and they're brought up to respond to threats with violence. So there's a whole fuckin' art form to phrasing a threat so it'll make them back down without making them lash out.

Here and now I've not only gotten better at that, but I'm actually capable of following through with that shit. I cannot think that there's a single sane human being who would look at what I did to The Morrigan and not say 'yeah, no, what did you need me to do to avoid that, now'. Okay, I'm sure there are freaks out there who would deliberately piss me off just to get me to do that, because if there is anything that competes with human stupidity in terms of depth, complexity, and variety, it's human freakiness. Let me state here and now that while I really don't want to be doing that shit to anybody, I'd rather they came up to me and asked for it than do shit to piss me off as much as I was pissed at The Morrigan. Seriously.

But that's just it, I didn't intimidate Lenny. I just... I dunno, asked him for some favors. Asked him for advice, too, but that's just another kind of favor. He didn't bluster, didn't turn me down, didn't force me to beg for it. He just, I dunno, agreed. Like, I get it, I'm asking him for stuff that's well within his wheelhouse, and it's also stuff that doesn't really hurt him in any way. It might even give him some kind of additional benefits or influence or something down the line. I don't think about it a lot, but the Imperator's kids, the Patron Goddess' kids, are on the fast track to positions of power and influence. If they want them, I guess. Especially Ria, who along with those other two is also the daughter of the Overlord of Rich Man's Port.

On the one hand, I really hope I haven't just set my kid up for being brainwashed by Lenny. On the other hand, if he does, there's always the Morrigan treatment, right?

So yesterday after inexplicably getting everything I wanted out of Lenny Lancaster, I returned him to the Council chamber then kinda stumbled home in a daze. Spent the last bits of the afternoon playing with the kids. Led them all in to dinner, which was another pastry thing. Fish, I think? Hard to tell, but I think it was fish. Sometimes Marie's cooking winds up being utterly confusing, but it's still good. Like, I have no idea what's going in my mouth, but I'm completely copacetic with it nonetheless. Describes a lot of what happens with Marie.

After dinner we all wandered up to the Bath, scrubbed down, and spent some time soaking. Definitely needed it, which surprised me. I think maybe my scars hurt worse when I'm less mentally together. Not sure. Definitely felt better after an hour or so in the warm heat of the Bath though.

Got everybody into bed, at which point my Murder Mittens rolled us all into the Bed. Siobhan, giggling, hopped out of the bed and flounced over to the divan. Saffron pulled me down to the end of the bed as Marie arranged the saddle off to my side.

"Uh, guys, what..." I trailed off as Marie lay back across me, handing me the remote for the saddle as she did.

"Psaltery."

"Oh. Okay. Wasn't really prepped for a concert tonight."

Siobhan shot me a pout as Saffron pinned Marie across my lap the same way she had last time we did this. "Oh, but I've been waiting ever so long!"

"Really? When did they tell you about this?" I asked as I ran my hands across Marie's arched belly and breasts, enjoying the sounds she made as her nipples stiffened.

"At least a week ago!"

I snorted. "Okay. Okay. I guess I did go on about wanting applause, didn't I?"

Saffron leaned in, kissed me, then said, "you did."

"Okay then. Let's make some music."

In the end I got my applause. Standing ovation, even. Siobhan looked adorable, jumping up and down, clapping her hands. She even started calling out, "encore! Encore!"

At which point Saffron, who'd tipped over onto the bed to lie there panting when I finished playing, panted out, "Sorry. Siobhan. I'm utterly spent."

So you know Siobhan had to step forward, one finger to her lips, saying, "I could take her place? For just one more song?"

Yeah, yeah, I'd been singing a little. I blame Apollo. I definitely blame him for choosing 'oops I did it again' for the encore. What? Dead people don't give a shit, they're dead.

Weird. You'd think a night where I'm the only one not getting satisfaction or satiation was one I'd wind up all tossing an turning, but I slept like a baby. A happy, well fed baby, surrounded by my loves and our absolute horde of adorable scamps.

Woke up less late than I had for the past week, just as everybody was stirring, going through their normal boot up routines. I mean, that varied a lot, even more than it had before we had all the kids. Obviously there's Saffron's long taste test of the world, which Menace does as well, and Marie's decision to admit that she wasn't sleeping anyhow. But now we've got Siobhan's quick change from sleeping to awake. Daya's like that too, although she's so quiet it's taken me a long time to catch on. Lindsey... I think she's like Marie, except of course I can't exactly call her on faking sleeping without embarrassing her, and she really does seem to be asleep sometimes. Then there's David and Alexandra, who both wake up what I'd consider the 'normal' way. Yawn, stretch a little, look around like they're orienting themselves after a night of hopefully normal dreams.

I kinda wonder about that. I know my ladies show up in my dreams, and from what they tell me it's not just a kind of mutual thing, but also a form of Worship for them. A kind of members only Revel with just the six of us. Wow. Six. Five people who legit Worship me, and do so to the extent that feeding themselves and each other to me, even in a dreamscape, is something they're eager and willing to do rather than vaguely horrifying. So fuckin' weird. Still, I've said 'do as you will', and this is what they will. Weird. Even weirder that Tallulah got that much more into it when I made it clear that I was absolutely dead serious about that part.

So for the first time this week I managed to have breakfast with the wife, fiancée, concubine, and kids. Waffles for everybody, including special Fae waffles for Ria, Maze and I. Not sure why just the three of us got them, or how I can tell who got what, but Marie is absolutely the mommest mom of all of us, so while I might ask her at some point, I'm gonna start by assuming that she's got a good reason. Also, I'm gonna assume that if I can twig to something Mana related, Siobhan and Saffron clocked that shit long ago, and neither of them would let something bad keep happening. Okay, not to our kids. Shit, I don't think Siobhan could let something bad happen to anyone, even Sister Trease, and I'm pretty sure she hates that bitch more than I do. Saffron obviously could let bad things happen to those she thinks deserves it.

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So once breakfast finished, the kids asked me to stay and play. All of them, clustered around. I looked at the batch, then up at my ladies. "I promised someone I'd help them with something today."

The disappointment on their faces would have been comical if I didn't know it was absolutely sincere. "Oh tay, Mama."

I sighed. "Look, Menace. If you can be a little patient with me, and maybe let me be not all here for the first bit, I'll see what I can do, okay?"

That got a round of cheers, so I stood up and Co-Located to the Academy. I'm pretty sure I kept the look of distaste off my Homestead me after my conversation with the Headmaster.

"I'm sorry, Champion, but I really do not know which room is Cadet Vickerson's. I could find out for you, of course, but if time is pressing you'd be best served by asking Sister Trease."

"Ugh."

He smiled sadly. "She is surprisingly good at paperwork and budgeting."

"Not your fault. Thanks, sir."

Wonder of wonders, the Sister who walks like a water buffalo was all obsequious helpfulness. "Cadet Vickerson? Of course! Fourth floor, Center hall, Room six on the east side."

"Thanks."

"Anything for you, Champion!"

Walked away from her office feeling greasy. Had to stop at the Infirmary just to rub some Siobhan against me to get that awful feeling off. As was normal when I stopped by the Infirmary, she wound up being a little exasperated. I think maybe I throw her off her Healer game a little when I'm there and grabbing her attention, like not using Blend to keep from distracting her or something.

After that quick five minute bit of snuggling and snogging to wipe the Trease stank out of my soul, I wandered up to Vickerson's room. After double checking my count twice, I knocked on the door, then turned the handle and walked in. The nasty organic crunch as the Devotional Day enchantment gave way made me smile with nostalgia. The very much not Vickerson hottie sitting up mid-self-service in the one occupied bed in the room, not so much.

Doing my best to keep my eyes on her face, despite her sudden fevered redoubling of efforts, I said, "uh, sorry. I was told this is Cadet Vickerson's room?"

"Ye... yeah. Double. She..."

I took pity on her right about then. Not sure why. "Snuck out?" She nodded, biting her lip. "Any idea where she is?" Headshake, although right about then I wasn't sure if she really understood what I was saying. "I'll leave you to it then?"

I had no idea why she gave me such a forlorn look right then, but I'd be an absolute hypocrite if I tried to get judgey about somebody's bean flicking needs. I slid the door closed behind me, leaned on it, and said, "exhibitionist, then?"

Uh, Kitten? Dunno if this is Just Happening or not?

That got me a moment of Saffron riffling through my head, followed by a girlish giggle and, oh, it most certainly does, in all the best ways. Enjoy, Goof.

Dunno which was weirder; her repeatedly forcing her eyes open to stare at me every time they slipped closed as she pushed herself closer, or the absolute fire hose blast of Worship I got when she finished. Okay, the weirdest thing was when she caught her breath, sat up, and said, "if you say so, my Goddess."

At that point I really looked around the room long enough to clock that everything had been doubled up. Two beds, two armoires, two desks, two chairs. Most importantly, two personal altars. The one near the empty bed had what looked like an absolutely shredded ring mail shirt, with a bag I assumed held the rest of the rings. The other... I didn't realize anyone had done artwork of me and Saffron on the altar bed the day we brought the temple down. I'm also sure I'm not that, I dunno, girly-sexy. Gotta say, the artist nailed boy Saffron though. Like, to the degree that if they'd literally banged her, I'd take a copy of the picture to hang in the Bedroom and call it even.

"This is a very special kind of..." I shook my head. "I really do need to find Vickerson, though?"

She pouted a little, but just said, "Citron and Hildegarde were bickering last night at dinner. Not like that's anything new. Some kind of competition. I think they kept her out past curfew."

I stood there, my gob completely smacked. Citron and Hildegarde was bad enough, but roping Vickerson into their shenanigans? Nah, couldn't be. "Okay, thanks. Uh... you want me to close this?"

She frowned. "But... I'm an exhibitionist now?"

I couldn't help it. I facepalmed. "Look, Cadet, I... If me standing here while you did the deed sparked some revelation about your nature? Cool, cool. Glad to help you out on your journey of self-discovery. But I'll be really disappointed if you take up a kink you don't actually like just because of an offhand comment I made."

I don't know what her name was, but I definitely filed her face and other identifying features under 'Cadet Brat' when she stuck her tongue out just a little bit, then said, "well, I guess there's only one way to find out. Open, please."

I was still shaking my head as I walked back into Trease's office. Still wanting to when she layered another layer of greasy obsequiousness on me telling me Hildegarde's room. I think most of the head shaking had gone away by the time I got to the Infirmary to get rid of said grease by application of surprisingly astringent Siobhan kisses. "I'm not sure whether to be annoyed that you come to me after seeing her, or annoyed that it makes me less annoyed at her."

"How about annoyed that I still have to go and do shit today?"

"Hmm... Fair. One more kiss before you go?"

After another before I went, plus another for good measure, I wandered up to Hildegarde's room. It was, fortunately, empty. That only made sense, since if I remembered right she'd matched her Devotional Day to his, which meant he had classes today, which meant she did too. Of course, just to be sure I had to to check his room. I got a sudden rush of brains to the head at that point and walked down to the basement.

Double rush of brains, even if one of them wasn't exactly to the head. The Maids went everywhere, even the guy's dorms, and Maenads were definitely women, so obviously I could get into the Men's Dormitory through the cellars, since I wasn't in any rush. That's the rush of brains to the head. The rush of brains elsewhere took me to the laundry, where I found Marie and proceeded to let her scour the final remaining bits of Trease awfulness off of my tongue with her own.

Funny thing; it took me this long to figure out the whole basement trick, but who did I find as I passed through the smithies on my way to the Men's Dormitory but Cadet Vickerson, clearly walking the Walk of Shame. Which definitely jack knifed my train of thought yet again, but I wasn't about to let my good fortune go to waste.

"Hey! Vickerson! Just the Cadet I was looking for!"

"Oh, Goddess! I mean Champion! I mean Instructor! I..."

I silenced her with a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it. Just call me Diaz. And..." I stepped us both to the Courtyard of the Homestead, where the kids were all playing some freeform variation on 'tag' that I still hadn't completely grokked. "Let's get started on that training of yours."

"Uh..." She did not look copacetic with the horde of kids rushing toward her like she was some new toy.

I held up one hand, and they all paused. "Here's the deal. First thing you need to learn how to do in a fight is survive. Now, you're not exactly a frail wilting violet, but by Cadet standards you're a bit of a lightweight."

She sagged a little. "I've worked on my Endurance, but..."

I nodded. "Yeah, I get it. I got lucky, I think. My Endurance started out crazy high, and by the time we started actual sparring and shit I could take some serious punishment without falling over. But you're not there. Yet. You will be, but not yet."

"So, what am I to do until then?"

"Well, you're not tough enough to face tank hits. You're not Skilled enough to deflect them. You're not Strong enough to straight up block them. So we're just gonna have to work on you dodging them."

I'd had the kids scouring the local landscape for the morning, and at this point Menace stepped up, doing that solemn little kid face. She held up a three foot long limp as fuck stalk of maybe grass. "Dith yowah weapon." Vickerson gingerly reached out and took the stalk from her, at which point Menace leapt backward and grabbed a stick Maze was holding out for her. Nothing like a club or any other actual weapon, just the kind of thing kids would pick up and wail at one another with. The other girls all pulled out the same.

"Okay, Vickerson, your goal is to not get hit. For every hit you take before lunch, you're running the perimeter once after lunch."

As the girls descended on her, leaving her to dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge, I got my second weird moment of the day. I remember way back when Saffron pointing out that prayer is, literally, talking to a Deity, but I'd thought of talking with Dad or Saffron or my ladies way more like, I dunno, some kind of magic cell phone that it totally floored me when I actually heard Vickerson's fervent, if possibly less than respectful cry for aid in her time of need.

Oh, fuck me.

At that point I had only one recourse. "Not until you get tapped as a Hero!"