Dear Diary,

Holy. Shit.

I can see Mana! Like, not just a wavery weird heat glare from a ley line, or the glow of excess Mana when I pump so much into me that I go all super-Saiyan blonde glowy, but like normal amounts of Mana that normal people like the Marshall use! Like, his is still kinda wispy looking, I guess, which Saffron told me is because his Patron is likely a Trickster, and he's very aligned with Air. Like, she doesn't know either of those for certain, because she hasn't Inspected him or anything, but she did see him Shaping Mana back when we had him as an instructor, and when he did it so we could see, he 'looked' like he was using Mana with some strong Trickster and Air mojo.

I mean, shit, I guess I should get that different Mana takes different colors. While my Mana Blades and all the little Mana wires I extrude when I'm shaping are super bright white, where Saffron showed me that when she uses her own Mana instead of mine, hers come out the same deep black light black that Slayer does. Weird that Mimic's Mana would be light instead of dark, what with her tentacles all being a kind of dull matte black, and my fur when I drop my Blend going the same color.

I totally looked around the room when he had us paired up trying to do the Lullaby Shape. I mean, I shouldn't have been, but I was. Weirdest thing, I think, is that Sarah's Mana is this funky green purple brown mix. Like, when she's doing it, it's green with purple highlights, but when she lets it go, it fades to brown with purple highlights. Just wild. Yeah, I partnered up with Sarah. She got the shape right, it made me yawn, but that was about it. I did my thing and tried not to overpower it, but she put her head down right there on the desk and took a nap.

Picked the Lancasters up after class and gave them a ride home. Still managed to make it home in time for dinner. From what I can tell we're having a lot of stew at the moment not just because we're eating up all the leftovers from Yule, but because Marie can make a killer stew out of the salted bear meat we have stupid amounts of still. Weird, I always read that carnivore meat tasted nasty, but I know tuna are carnivores, and I've never had a problem with tuna. Maybe fish follow different rules?

Of course, when I sat down to eat I wound up with a lapful of Murder Mittens. I looked over at Saffron, who smiled and said, "I want the little one tonight."

Siobhan, of course, squeaked out something that sounded vaguely like, "I'm at least three inches taller than you!" Saffron just stared at her, smiling, as poor Ice Pop wilted, finally saying, "I wanted to feed you with you in my lap."

Saffron smirked, pointed at her lap, and said, "tomorrow. If you eat everything I put in front of you."

Look, I'm all for Siobhan finding her own power and authority, and tomorrow's gonna be hella cute, but trying to stare down Saffron is just asking for some consequences. Even if she likes you. Hell, especially if she likes you. Of course, apparently Saffron remembered the whole overfeeding thing, and wound up feeding the Sister less than I had.

Didn't you want to talk to me about teaching this evening?

Nah. I do that I'll just forget it all by Saturday. Tomorrow.

As you wish, Tabitha.

Tallulah came to visit again after dinner. She played with Ria and Maze and Isnomi at bath time, and curled up with all three of them when bed time arrived. At which point Saffron spirited us all away to the Bedroom, landing herself, myself, and Marie on the bed, with Siobhan standing in that little open space. "Am... Am I in trouble, Mistress?"

Saffron just smiled, closed her eyes, lay back, and stretched. "Of course not. Why would I be angry at you for wanting to spoil me." She paused, then wriggled in a way that shut down my higher brain functions. "Of course, my cooperation with that still hasn't quite been secured, you realize?"

Siobhan's so cute when she gets pouty. "But why not?"

Without opening her eyes, Saffron purred out, "I put us in front of you, did I not?"

Siobhan's reaction was just as adorable as Saffron's when the sweets come out. Hell, it's pretty much the same reaction. Also, the woman is preternaturally talented. Must be the blonde thing kicking in.

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Woke up in the morning to a whispered discussion between our three chief troublemakers. When I sat up and stretched, they all went quiet, so I waved them over. "What's the matter?" I whispered.

Isnomi and Maze both looked at Ria, who sighed and said, "I want to bring my bed from back at the Keep."

I shrugged. "Okay. Worst case we have to ship it overland if it's too big to translocate. What's the problem?"

She frowned. "Before I do that, I would like to have the others stay the night in my rooms at the Keep."

"Which others?"

She looked a little abashed, then said, "I suppose any who wish to, but I'd primarily been thinking of Maze and Isnomi."

"Is your bed big enough for everybody if they want to join you?"

She sighed and looked crestfallen. "No."

"What about dinner? Does your Mom have enough place settings for everybody?"

Another sigh. "No."

"Well then, I guess you'd better sort out a way to pack extra blankets for everybody in case somebody has to sleep on the floor, and talk with your mom about making sure she's got enough dinner for everyone whichever night you all decide to do this."

Y'know, I think my favorite part of being a parent and a partner is watching somebody's eyes light up when you help them figure out how to get whatever it is what they want to get. I mean, I like it even more when I'm the one who can hand it to them, but even just helping them sort stuff out for themselves is awesome too. "Thank you, mama!" She glomped me, which started a whole wakeup chain reaction.

"Now, ask your mom if it's okay first, then find out who wants to go, then let her and Marie know. Marie is just awesome with blankets and food both."

"Truth." Murder Mittens herself announced, although I definitely saw a blush lurking under her fur. I pulled us together and snuggled her. "Thanks, Mittens." Then I remembered. "Oh, hey, did you know your sister Sarah is studying to be a Hero? Like, at the Academy?" I absolutely did not the booger look that covered her face. "What's the matter? Some kind of bad blood between the two of you?" She shrugged. "Wait, did you want to be a Hero?" The look she gave me told me without fear of misinterpretation that she had no intention of sitting through any classes at what she still thought of as 'her' Academy. "Okay, then what's... wait. Are you jealous?"

I know I've said jealousy is stupid, and I stand behind that, but ignoring when your partner is feeling jealous about something is equally stupid. "Maybe."

"Oh, Mittens, sweetie, she's a classmate. Seriously, I've got no intent there. Like, if I wound up flirting, it was totally by accident, and I didn't even realize I was doing it. Which I wasn't. Because I'm not interested in her." Mittens just shrugged and made a throwaway gesture. "Uh, okay, if it's not that, then what?"

"Sparagmos."

I rolled my eyes. "You've absolutely got that on the brain. You think I'm gonna say no to you and then say yes... to..." I realized right then that if some other random Maenad asked me for that, I might just shrug and get to dismembering, because while I'd still be worried about them not waking up, I wouldn't be devastated if it happened. "You'd feel some kinda way if I did that, wouldn't you?" She nodded, eyes glistening. "Okay then, I won't."

"But..."

I shook my head. "If she needs it that bad, I know where to find you. Tell me you couldn't do the job just as well as I could." She shrugged. "Really, you think I could do a better job of it than you, Miss Champion of Dionysus, Queen of the Murderfuck Cult?"

She grinned at me, murmured, "Yes." then kissed me. Long enough, with enough involvement on both our parts, that we both more or less forgot what we'd been talking about before we started.

Marie made waffles for everyone today, and I swear she must have stolen the brain of the Lancaster House waffle makers, because I could not tell the difference. Okay, I preferred Marie's waffles, but I am fully prepared to believe that's entirely because Marie made them. No Fae waffles for your girl Tabitha, though. Saffron decreed that I'd be limited to Thursdays and special occasions, especially until the next crop got harvested. Fortunately rationing wasn't quite as bad as it might have been after the melanistic orange tabby's bogarting several fields worth of grain, since plenty of the supplies from the Morrigan's fleet washed up on the riverbank down by Rich Man's Port. Most of the intended consumers of said supplies who washed ashore were mostly dying anyhow, and without me around to fix them, most of them went the way of all flesh, just very, very fast. I felt a little bad about that, but it's not like we crossed the Atlantic to attack them.

I followed Siobhan around for most of the morning this morning, pretty much just Co-Locating her away after any time she gave advice to one of her assistants and picking her brain about it. Eventually, she smiled at me and pulled me away.

"Tabitha, I'm happy to answer every question you have, but I think what you need to know, that you don't know you need to know, is that there is no one right way to teach. Every student is different, and every student will need different things from you. All you need do is pay attention to them, to learn what they need, to meet them where they are and guide them to where they need to be." She stopped, smiling beatifically. "It's not unlike parenting, and you're so very good at that!"

That... that kinda threw me. I spent the rest of the morning half zoned out thinking about how Siobhan thought I was a good mom. Like, unironically. Mind. Blown.

Then the afternoon with duBois. Except the first time I pulled him away to ask him something, he looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "look, Diaz. You're the fuckin' Champion of the Alliance. You tell those kids to jump, they're gonna jump. You tell 'em to run, they're gonna run. All you gotta do is remember what I taught you, teach them that, and then add in anything you've learned that you wish I'd taught you before you wound up out in the field."

Well. Shit. What do I do now?