Dear Diary,

Why the fuck is it that when I'm absolutely ready to throw down, the asses that deserve kicking are nowhere to be found?

Seriously, I never really expected people to sneak around avoiding conflict with me. Why the fuck would anyone do that? I mean, other than maiming a Goddess and a High Priest of Ares and fucking up two whole armies and... yeah, I think maybe I'm starting to see the problem.

After getting my marching orders from my lovely bride, I stepped back to Lancaster House to find Larry calling out, "...verton Army has crossed the Susquehanna!" and see Bonnie packing away the books. The moment he saw me, Larry said, "Commander?"

"Have you gotten eyes on the Calverton Army yet?"

He shook his head, "I suspect they're both heading cross country and have someone protecting the Army against scrying."

"Fuck. I'm gonna have to Translocate down to the Susquehanna and follow their trail."

Before I could do just that, Larry said, "Commander, wait!"

I paused, raising an eyebrow. "You want to come along?"

"No, ma'am, but they've been getting information from Oliver Orange."

I frowned. "How did you figure that out?"

He barked out something approaching a laugh. "Something about scrying on my Patron when she disappeared and didn't come right back."

I responded with an equally harsh laugh. "Okay, fair point. Why does that matter, though?"

Larry took a deep breath and held up a hand for patience. "Oliver told them about the pontoon bridges, obviously, but why would he tell them about those and not tell him about what happened to New Amsterdam's armies?"

I heard myself growl without realizing I was doing it. "If they're trying to mousetrap me, they'll find their mousetrap isn't good enough."

"No, Commander. Or, not entirely that. We've sparred, you and I. Did you win every time?"

"No, but I wasn't trying to kill you, just sparring."

He smiled ruefully at me, "I assure you, Commander, after that day in the Marshall's class, neither was I. But what I mean is that you are, in fact, neither omnipotent or more importantly omniscient. The times I beat you were when I managed to surprise you. I have no doubt that if you follow the trail of that army, you will find a nigh-endless series of traps and ambushes. Whether they're intended to kill you or just slow you down while the main army advances doesn't really matter. If what the Mayor said is true, Calverton has no other forces anywhere. Even if we assume they lost half of their men to the Plague, there are still thousands of men marching on Lancaster House."

I took a deep breath and put my still-extended Mana Blades away. "Shit. They're gonna scatter and rabbit if I find them, aren't they?"

He nodded. "I doubt they're even travelling in a single mass. You found one set of pontoon bridges, but unless I miss my guess there are others, each just out of sight of the previous ones."

"SHIT. Our troops."

"Exactly. If they were travelling in a single group, our orders to our pickets would work. But as is? They'll just run into another part of the Calverton army."

"I've got to go get them moving, get them out of the fuckin' way. If they're not screwed already."

He nodded. "If you can go warn them, along with the southern line of farmsteads, I'll keep trying to contact our Cadets."

I shook my head. "No. Start getting Lancaster House ready for a siege."

Now it was his turn to look surprised. "Yes, Commander. Why?"

I took a deep breath, forcing my fury at Ares' cavalier use of Calverton's kids back down. "Where's the one place we know they'll converge on?"

"Shit."

"Exactly. If you can think of a way, see if we can't find some way to block off their retreat once they're here. Hell, even just slowing them down so our guys can keep them from becoming an eternal banditry problem is enough. Just remember, it'll take them upwards of four days to get here cross country. So we need to have everything ready for them in two."

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

"Two? Why not four? Or more, like you said?"

"Because a stupid enemy is a gift from God, and not too many Gods are in the mood to give us gifts at the moment."

With that I stepped to Northbridge, only to find people bustling around, getting ready to head north, a big pile of miscellaneous supplied stacked right in the town square. "Sergeant!"

Within seconds the Sergeant came running up to me. "Yes, Ma'am?" he asked.

"Forget about destroying the supplies." I jerked my head to indicate the bridge. "That batch is nothing but refugees. Take everything you can, but leave whatever's left for them."

His mouth worked for a bit, "but... Calverton?" leaking out eventually.

"Kids, Sergeant. Women and children and other poor assholes who don't deserve to starve, no matter what bullshit their Army pulls."

"Yes, Ma'am. Understood, Ma'am." He saluted, and if he had a certain degree of anger in his eyes, I figured at least some of it was at whoever had kids marching in weather like this.

With that I hopped to each of the farmsteads along the river, confirming they'd started evacuating; the only one that wasn't evacuating was empty, tracks leading along the north road. Eventually I wound up at Southbridge; they were just about to move out. "Any news, Ma'am?" called the Sergeant.

"No, Sergeant. Nothing good, anyhow. Just get everyone here to Lancaster House as soon as you can."

She'd jogged over while I spoke, and quietly said, "that's going to be at least a three day trek, and then only if we can march through the night most nights."

I sighed. "I know, Sergeant. Stay on the roads; from what we can tell they're all going cross-country. That'll slow them down some. Hopefully enough."

She nodded. "Will do, Ma'am."

"I'll let you get to it, then." I proceeded to jump to the southeasternmost farmstead of our cleared grid and hammered on the door to the farmhouse. The moment it opened, I said, "Calverton troops are across the Susquehanna. You need to gather your people and head to Lancaster House, now."

Credit where it's due, the farmstead Holder didn't argue, just asked, "do we have time to bundle everyone up and grab supplies?"

I nodded, "you'll need them, or you won't make it in this weather, but you need to be out as soon as possible, and keep going as long as you can every day until you hit Lancaster House."

"Yes, Ma'am."

With that he turned and started shouting to wake the house up. I stepped west along the road, landing in the middle of a Volunteer unit setting up camp for the night. "Sergeant!"

One of the Volunteers broke off what she was doing and jogged over to me. "Yes, Ma'am?"

"Calverton is across the river and moving cross-country. I need you to head east to the next farmhouse, then help them evacuate toward Lancaster House. All the supplies your men can carry." I took a deep breath, hating what I had to say next. "If you're overtaken, you need to hold as long as you can to give the civilians the best chance to get away."

That caught her for a moment, then she took a deep breath and said, "I understand, Ma'am."

I smiled at her. "Hopefully it won't come to that, and even if it does, Calverton's forces are most likely moving in small units until they get closer to Lancaster House. I'll be sending the next couple units your way as well, which means you won't be alone. You might even have enough men to beat whoever finds you. But don't risk the civilians' lives and freedom on that, got it?"

The look in her eyes went from resigned acceptance to a fierce determination. "Yes, Ma'am." Her lips curled up into something resembling a smile as she said, "as I've heard you say, Ma'am, if they fuck around, we'll make sure they find out."

I clapped one hand on her shoulder. "That's the spirit. Get to it!"

Again I left the sound of shouted orders behind. Unit by unit I jumped along the road, sending them to whichever farmstead was nearest, repeating my orders to carry what they could, but otherwise get the people the fuck out. By the time I'd hit every unit and farmstead in a broad cone south of Lancaster House, I couldn't even say it was 'getting late'. More like it was 'almost dawn'. I stepped into the Scrying Room, a little woozy after pushing myself through so many Translocations, so many conversations. Most likely the worst of it, so many people I had to maybe lie to, that they would make it here to us before the Calverton's caught them.

Saffron stood there in her Cadet uniform, Marie playing quietly with the menace. "Are you okay, love?"

I stumbled over to her, pulling her in for a hug. A moment later Isnomi slammed into our legs, her arms going around us. Marie followed, her arms going around us in a far firmer grip, if one that wasn't nearly as uncontrolled. "I'm fine. No sign of the Calverton troops so far, everyone even vaguely in their path warned and moving. Larry told you what's going on?" She nodded. "I'm sorry I couldn't catch and kill that asshole for you."

She just smiled up at me. "Yet."

Not sure what it says about me that a hungry, cruel smile slid across my face as I replied. "Yet."

I felt a lot better about life in general when Marie rumbled out, "yet."

Of course the three of us all smiled much more naturally when the Menace piped up, "yet!"

"You gonna have to leave for work soon, Kitten?"

She shook her head. "I've told the Council we won't be meeting for the next few days, and left General Lancaster in charge of continuing our work in New Amsterdam."

I looked at her, sudden fear clutching at my heart. "You mean..."

"Yes, Goof. I mean. I'm the only person we have who can cover as much ground as you as quickly as you."

I huffed out a breath. "I don't want you tangling with Calverton's troops on your own."

She shook her head as we started up the stairs toward our room. "I've no intention of doing that, love. If I see Calverton troops, I'm headed straight back here to report on them. As I expect you to do as well."

"Better not. Or I'll have to tie you up so tight you can't even Translocate."

She chuckled. "After we've dealt with Calverton, Goof. After."

"Aww... not even a little?"

"Maybe just a little. After you're cleaned up and have had a good sleep. You reek to the point it's no longer appetizing, and I can only imagine how much you've pushed yourself to get that sweaty."

I pouted. "It wasn't even fun sweat."

She put her arm around my waist as we went up the stairs, her hand going in circles on my lower back. "There, there, love. We'll both need to be working ourselves sweaty until we've dealt with Calverton, but think of the anticipation."

"Anticipation?"

"Yes, Goof. Anticipation. Which, as you've finally begun to realize..."

She looked up at me, mischief in her eyes, and after a moment we both chorused, "that makes it even better."

Now if only that were true about anticipating the Calverton Army and Ares' fuckery.