Dear Diary,

No idea what kind of bug Larry's gotten up his butt about needing to train me into a passable swordsman, but it certainly helps me sleep better than just walking back and forth all day.

So today began at sunset yesterday, since I didn't want Aphrodite's sock puppet to get the lectern and un-declare war or something else stupid like that. Marie helped me get my boots on. The dress I didn't need help with; not like it's complex or anything. So once we had the Menace ready to go, we stepped over to the Council chambers.

Large Louis was there first, leaning against the register. Something tells me that he must work nights if he's the guy McCann taps for night gigs like this. "Hey Louis. How's it hangin'?"

"Ah, Hell."

I frowned at him while Marie claimed a seat for her and the menace. "Sounds almost like you're not glad to see me?"

He sighed, "boss told me I'd get a bonus if I held the Register until he got here, but he also told me not to get in your way if you wanted it."

I grinned a little at that. "He just doesn't want you getting hurt. Did he say how much?"

"Nah. I trust him to make it worth my while to be standing here."

I said, "tell you what. You move now, and I'll back McCann on any single vote he likes, so long as it's not un-declaring war."

He stepped aside. "Guess that's more than he expected to get. Thanks."

"Tell him you argued me into it."

"Nah. Lying to the boss is a sure fire way to get in deeper trouble than you already are. Pretty sure he'll take you up on the vote thing, though."

So I settled myself leaning against the Register. Around about when I guessed it was midnight, I reached out to Loki.

Hey Boss?

After a moment he responded, Yes, Tabitha?

How do you do that two-places-at-once thing?

I caught the impression of a smile, followed by, it's relatively simple. Go to translocate, then as you're doing it, both do and do not at the same time.

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Yeah. Simple.

Go ahead. Try it.

I shrugged and took a step, with the intent to translocate to the far side of the Register. The moment before I did, I gave it my dead level best to both complete the step and not. Next thing I knew, I was staring at the back of my own head, and staring at the far side of the room at the same time. Worse, I got an awful case of feedback ringing in my ears. How the fuck do I turn this off?

Just step back into yourself.

I turned to look at myself and got a moment of really awful visual feedback on top of the high pitched whine that had overtaken everything. I did the translocate step thing, with the intent to show up in the position I stood in. I got a weird wrenching sensation, but the feedback cut off immediately.

Do you get that every time you do that?

I'm afraid not, but then I never collocate with myself either. Because as you've found out, it causes terrible feedback in your senses.

All of them? I only got sight and sound.

You do not want to experience scent feedback.

I'll take your word for it.

I tried again, this time aiming for my room. When my foot landed, my vision wound up seeing both the Council chambers and our cell. After looking around just for the novelty of it, I realized that it was the middle of the night, and everyone I'd normally spend time with was here in the Council chambers. I decided to take advantage of the situation and get some rest, so I stripped out of The Dress and lay down.

An hour later, having had no success sleeping, I pinged Loki again.

Hey Boss?

Yes, Tabitha?

If I do the doubling thing, can I have one take a nap?

I'm afraid not. If one of you actually fell asleep, the other would cease to be. It wouldn't be traumatic, but it is strange.

I take it that it's happened to you?

A few times, yes.

Thanks for the info, Boss.

I decided to test something, and the me in my room took a step back to me without leaving the bed. The wrenching sensation was worse than before, but nothing I couldn't ignore. That done, I settled in to wait.

When morning rolled around, I split myself between resting at the Register and standing on the wall.

I'd forgotten exactly how little The Dress covered, and how cold it was. I managed to pull off Loki's Instant Wardrobe thing in under a second, but my bits still protested their momentary exposure to holy-fuckballs tier cold.

At that point I started taking roll and walking the wall. Not like either was particularly taxing. Of course, when Lancaster showed up with a pair of practice swords that kinda changed, but Register-me just had to read off names. Not exactly challenging or stimulating.

So I spent the rest of the day practicing swordplay while managing the Council session. Alexa proposed ending the war three times, and I ignored every one. Other than starting the meeting, McCann didn't seem to have anything pressing, so I guess I wound up promising a favor without knowing what it was, but I'd still rather owe McCann a favor than let him or anyone else have control of the register.

Saffron checked in around noon. The army continued to advance, just slower now that everything had frozen over.

By the end of the day, when I closed down the Council meeting and handed my practice sword back to Lancaster, I was completely exhausted. No need for anything special, I fell right the fuck to sleep, eternally grateful that I had Marie to put the menace to bed.