Dear Diary,

I never really got the old saying, 'the reward for a job well done is another job', especially the kind of resigned tone most of the old heads said it in. I'm beginning to get it now. I think I really am.

Wait, does that mean I'm becoming an old-head? I'm not old enough for that! I respectfully decline to acquiesce to that request. Means 'no'. Possibly 'fuck no', with a side of 'get the fuck out of here'.

After working through the night, through the day, and then most of the way through the night again, Saffron and I wound up sleeping until this morning. I think she woke up to take a piss at one point, but I'm not really sure. I know I woke up, saw her there, shifted around, and went back to sleep once. Did the same thing again, only to see that Marie and a whole herd of kids had invaded our bedroom, with Isnomi, Liam, a couple kids I remembered from earlier bath days, and a bunch of kids who had that 'had a bath for the first time in their lives pink skin' look to them. Marie lay against the door, a bunch of cushions from the living room couches under her, an absolute mountain of kids and blankets over and around her. One of the armoires from the dressing room stood in front of the dressing room door, blocking it. A small line of chamber pots, thankfully covered, sat in a row next to the door.

I stared at all that for a little bit, then when Saffron rolled over and reached for me, I made an executive decision that amounted to 'fuck it, I'll deal with it in the morning', laid back down, snuggled up to Saffron, and went back to sleep.

Through all of it, Mimic dreamt of a stones board with nothing but black stones and empty intersections. Except white stones kept showing up not on the intersections, but in the middle of the squares between them. After a while she apparently decided 'fuck it', rolled over, and contemplated the cosmos. Really neat thing? The Milky Way is totally visible from that perspective. Sets off something unpleasant in Mimic, like she feels some kind of way about it, but no idea what. Nothing concrete, nothing even as much as a complete emotion, just a disturbance in the Mimic. Like billions of people crying out and... no, not that. Like one person, crying for trillions of moments of silence.

Mimic Dreams or not, still fucked up because dreams don't make sense. Or I'm too stupid to make sense of them.

Finally woke up this morning with that kind of 'slept too long' feeling, while also completely ready to whine that I wanted more rack time. I also wanted some alone time with Saffron and Marie, and more family time with the four of us, but ain't none of that gonna happen any time soon, because we've still got work to do getting all the refugees sorted.

I mean right now? Everybody was inside and warm. Now if we could make sure everybody had enough to eat until spring, we'd be in half decent shape.

At any rate, I woke up before anybody else in the room was admitting to being awake, so I just lay there watching Saffron. At one point I glanced over at the menace, only to see her watching me with one eye open. I smiled at her, she smiled back, and her eye slid back closed. I went back to watching Saffron.

Eventually my patience was rewarded. I got to watch Saffron's eternally adorable boot up sequence. Her eyelids fluttered, not so much opening as flexing like tiny little athletes getting ready to hit the gym. Then her mouth opened and her nose scrunched up, a weird cute reverse staccato yawn where she sniffed and tasted the world. Finally, satisfied at whatever she'd smelled or tasted, her eyes slid open, looking straight at me. "Good Morning, Kitten."

Her lips curled into the smile that I'd come to realize was mine and mine alone. She smiled sometimes for Isnomi, or Marie, but... for me? The only times she hadn't smiled at me was when we were fighting, and that's happened what, once? Twice, if you count the time she belted me using my own Cold Iron coin as brass knuckles. Not sure if I do, given that her next action was to claim me as her Patron, and actions two and three were marrying me and some very thorough, if quiet, consummation of same.

Today we wouldn't be doing that. Not until we got home to Phileo anyhow. Weird, I'm absolutely an utterly insatiable horndog, but somehow that part of me had come to realize that even if life came between us and conjugal bliss, the moment the pair of us had enough energy and a private spot? Antics of an adult nature would ensue. Usually with passion directly proportional to the time we'd spent unable to engage in said antics. Given that our base level of passion was pretty magma-esque, that meant those days when we'd been working ourselves to the bone for days on end got kinda 'see how many busybody prudes we can make stroke out like they deserve', sometimes ranging into 'we will never speak of this event again, no matter how many times we repeat it, both in fond memories and future private moments'.

Feeling and hearing the kids starting to stir, I reached up and stroked her hair back from her face and asked, "do you want to have more kids?"

Her smile stretched wider. "Right now, or...?"

I think my own smile must have matched hers, "nah. I'm being all mature and planning for the future and shit."

"Then my answer is yes, absolutely."

"Like, you want to adopt, or find a dude we both like, or...?"

She pulled me in for a kiss, and afterward left her forehead touching mine as the sounds of kids starting to stumble around, some of them thankfully stumbling to the chamber pots. "I would absolutely be willing to adopt, and I'm not entirely against the idea of finding a fourth for our little family, but whether we do or not? I want us to have a child. I want you to put a child in my womb, Tabitha Diaz."

Any form of coherence in my brain fled at that blunt mackerel of truth smacking me in the face. "So. Uh. Shapeshifting shenanigans?"

"Indeed."

"Kinky." Where do you think my brain was gonna go?

Of course my delightfully brilliant Kitten slipped out one of her legion of Grins and said, "do you want it to be?"

Really, do I even need to tell you my answer to that? "Yeah." Followed by my best Rocket Raccoon impression. "Oh... yeah!"

The Grin of Universal Undergarment Undoing slid onto her lips, and I swear to God I had to bite my lip lest virgin ears hear something they ought not, because I had an excruciatingly, intimately, climactic reaction when she brought out the singsong to say, "So then it will be kinky."

When I could speak again, I pulled her into a kiss, then slid my mouth next to her ear and said, "you Pavloved me, you Magnificent Bitch."

She pulled back far enough to look me in the eye. "Is that a complaint I hear?"

I kinda whimpered my response. "No?" But... kids?

Yes, we've just agreed, we're going to make one at some point in the future. Maybe more than one. Maybe more than one at a time.

I meant the ones in the room here!

She leaned in to breathe into my ear, "the ones seeing only two married women talking as we lay quietly in bed, doing absolutely nothing but talking and kissing as happily married couples are wont to do? No doubt thinking that we are particularly boring adults, talking about particularly boring adult things?"

I blinked at her, sudden realization overwhelming me as I said, "you did this on purpose, just for times like this, didn't you, you... adorkable little sadist. Didn't you?"

Sing song, "so now you comprehend it."

When my eyes uncrossed I said, "that is utterly unfair."

"Does that really bother you?"

I rolled my eyes and shrugged, noticing Marie moving the armoire away from the door and herding kids, Isnomi leading the way, into the bathroom. She hadn't really motioned for us to come in, and at a guess she'd handled things yesterday on her own, so I said, "I mean, it's not really fair to you, is it?"

Saffron leaned close to me and quietly, seriously, said, "I'm the one deciding to do it. So if anyone's being unfair to me, it's me, and I don't particularly find it unfair. One sided, but sometimes things are. Sometimes they will be. I enjoy doing that to you. I enjoy having the power to instantly reward you for being a woman I would worship even were you not a Goddess."

I worked my mouth silently while my brain tried to catch up with that. "I don't deserve that."

"Do you trust me?"

I answered that without any hesitation. "Absolutely."

"Do you trust my judgement?"

Again, I responded instantly. "Entirely."

"Then you will trust my judgement on when you deserve rewards. Which, frankly, is far more often than either of us has time to spend on giving them to you."

I just lay there, mouth open, trying to come to terms with it. I mean, part of me coming to terms with, y'know, being Pavloved. Shit, she told me she was doing it, and it still wound up, y'know, working. She'd showed me the trap, told me what would happen when I walked into it, and I laughed and walked into it.

I trusted her, and she'd used that trust to...

To program an instant-orgasm button into my brain that only she could press?

"Shit. You told me you were doing this."

She smirked and nodded. "I did."

"I told you it was fine by me, didn't I?'

The smirk wasn't a smirk, it was an undercover Grin. "You did."

"You tricked me into Consenting by telling me what you were doing and getting me to sign off on it."

The Grin fled. "Do you really think I tricked you? Say the word and I stop. For a moment, for an hour, for a day, forever, you say the word and I stop for as long as you want me to stop."

"Really?"

She nodded, not even a hint of humor in her expression. "Truly, my love. I didn't prevaricate in the slightest. I did this because of the many, many, many occasions when I wished I could reward you in some immediate, tangible fashion, but life did not permit me the time nor the privacy to do so. Not to mention wanting a way to break you out of your black moods when you spiral into them. I intended no harm to you, my love."

I just sat there, kinda lost. On the one hand, I'd absolutely given her permission. On the other hand, she'd rewired my brain to include a keyboard shortcut to my brain's pleasure centers.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

On the gripping hand, I had no idea why I was getting worked up about this. "I must be the most contrary bitch on the planet. I have no idea how you put up with me." No words, she just hummed that little tune. Didn't quite pack the same punch, but it definitely threw some of those anticipatory Happy Brain Chemicals my way. "Shit. It works. Holy shit, you Pavloved an antidepressant button into my brain."

She pulled me down, pushing the side of my face into her breasts. "I am serious, love. Say the word, and I stop."

"Part of me wants to tell you not to do it when it's not appropriate." I let that statement lie there.

She picked up the hint and asked, "and what does the rest of you want?"

"For you to mash that button until I die of bliss overdose."

She hummed a frowny little hum. "Do you really want to die?"

I thought about it. I'd felt that way once or twice. But right now? "No. No, I really don't. I want to live forever with you in our little house on the shore."

"Even if I never stop pressing that button, just to watch your eyes cross?"

I chuckled a little, carefully rolled over top her and out of bed, then lifted her into a princess carry. "That's not a bug. That's definitely a feature."

She Grinned up at me. "Are you telling me that...?"

"Oh, absolutely. Not my fault if I drop you though."

She laughed out loud, then said, "I trust you with all that I am, my Goddess. And I am glad that what I have done, as regards our future eternity?" She raised an eyebrow, and I nodded. "That makes it even better."

"Holy shit, Kitten. I'm not sure whether I want to get used to that or want never to get used to it. But shit, depressive death spiral averted by mashing the endorphin button." I kissed her as I pushed us through the door. "I love you, Saffron."

"And I you, Tabitha."

That got a round of groans from the assorted kidlets in the room, along with a host of variations on 'eww, kissing'. I stepped to the tub, Marie stepping away to her 'combing and dressing dried kids' spot. "Did you want to swap today?"

Saffron shook her head. "You do have more upper body strength than me, which is key to toweling, and I'm more buoyant than you."

I laughed and set her into the tub, then wandered back to my 'towel dry' station, where Marie had stacked an absolute mountain of towels. "It's a tub, not a swimming pool."

She got to scrubbing the next kid in line. "Yes, but I displace more volume of water per unit of mass, so it requires less water to keep the tub at an adequate level."

"Somebody's been sneaking peeks at physics textbooks."

"Duh."

We bantered back and forth while running our little horde of little kids through the whole morning cleaning routine. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Marie's hands flashing, and stopped for a moment to take a look. She wasn't just combing the kids hair and dressing them, she was tailoring the shapeless dresses to fit them, and embroidering initials onto them. "Wow. Really?"

She finished dressing her latest victim, then pulled two armfuls of waiting kids into a big Marie hug. "Hoard."

I just laughed, smiling at her to know how adorable I found her. She purred back at all of us, and I saw some of the kids in her 'hoard' didn't move away from her, but stayed close enough to keep one hand gripping her skirts. Are these kids all orphans?

Loki answered me. Many of them, yes. Some may simply have literally lost their parents in the evacuation, others may have relatives who will take them in, but many of them? Have no one left in the world.

Saffron joined the conference call in my brain to add, until we find their parents, they're ours in every way that matters.

Bonnie may fight you on that, you realize?

Her hands occupied washing the next kid in line, Saffron raised an eyebrow at me. Would she fight Marie, though?

Kitten, she straight up knowingly walked to her own ignominious death because she thought it would help her One True Love. Bitch has to have some stones on her to do that shit. I mean, she actually tries to fight Marie she's gonna wind up coleslaw, but standing up to her? To get a horde hoard of her very own? She would absolutely do that shit.

Saffron rolled her eyes and pushed another kid at me, waving the next one into the bath. Yet another chore on my list, to ensure domestic tranquility.

How exactly are you gonna do that?

Somehow she managed a serene, knowing smile despite the kid in front of her splashing water everywhere in an effort to retain their carefully curated patina of grime. I know exactly who I'm going to delegate it to.

Who the fuck would take that job, playing referee between Bonnie and Marie?

I'll tell you later.

I shrugged, and we bantered out loud about nothing much while working our way through the rest of the kids who'd wound up with us. When we finally got out to the Dining Room, where along with our seats at the table, the assorted staff had lined up two huge buffet tables along the walls, with servers to help kids too small to reach and ensure nobody did something like load all of the mashed pumpkin up onto one plate. Other than the group of us seated at the table, which today included six Cadets, Lachlan, General Hargreaves, Mayor McCann, and all ten Calverton Heroes, two lines of refugees walked along the buffets, filling plates and then carrying them away to eat wherever they'd found a place to be. Down beyond the end of the proper table, I saw a couple coffee tables a certain Menace had stolen from some of the suite living rooms, with Isnomi herself seated at the far end of the extended table, and little kids crammed in along both sides, most of them ones I recognized from bath time, along with the ones Isnomi had played with before, including Liam, who sat just to her left. For a moment I wondered where she'd gotten itty bitty chairs, then I realized that all the kids were sort of bobbing like they were perched on yoga balls, at which point I remembered; Isnomi knew how to make Air Shields. Clever little Menace.

I silently wondered how long it would be before I had to give her the 'birds and bees' talk, not to mention the 'pretty ones are nice to look at, but don't get tied down unless they're good on the inside, too' talk. Thankfully, hyper-precocious tot or not, her body still seemed to be developing at a more reasonable pace, giving me at least ten years before I had to worry about going over prophylaxis. Thank. God.

I cannot claim any special credit for that, but not being a stupid Deity, I accept your thanks gladly.

I mentally deadpanned, Thanks, Boss. You're the best.

I know.

Once everybody else at the table had gotten to the 'filling in the edges with coffee and juice and toast' stage of breakfast, General Hargreaves heaved a sigh and said, "I'm afraid I have bad news, and I apologize in advance, for I should have suspected, but said nothing in hopes I was wrong."

Larry looked at me, I nodded to Saffron, and she said, "I seem to ask this question quite often, but did you intend deception or harm to anyone?"

He solemnly shook his head. "No, Ma'am."

"Then speak plainly and truthfully, and I assure you, we will not hold it against you or yours, save perhaps to ask you assist us in cleaning up any messes created."

He heaved a relieved sigh and slumped a little, then visibly pulled himself together and said, "our small squads of Heroes sent to 'recon' have proven to be more loyal to High Priest Garland than they were to Calverton. Two of our messengers returned with tales of being scorned and sent running, one returned, but died from her injuries before she could report, and four of the other seven never returned."

"What of the last three?" asked Lancaster.

"They returned with news that those scouting parties cursed at them, but had been too badly injured to do more than throw words. Excepting the one who returned to tell us all eight had been killed and left to lie in the snow."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Larry and Lachlan and I were a little too busy keeping them off our evacuees to be entirely gentle."

Hargreaves just shook his head. "Any Hero who would attack unarmed men, women, and children is unworthy of the name, and I wouldn't have them as Heroes in my Army, or my City if I had anything to say about it."

Saffron rapped one knuckle on the table, commanding the attention of everyone there. "We have two things, then, that need to be addressed. First and foremost, General, will you and your Heroes aid Lachlan and our Cadets in catching and, if need be, purging these rogue Heroes?"

"Absolutely, Ma'am. Any help you could lend to run them down would be appreciated, but we will do all we can to remove the stain they've placed on Calverton's honor."

"Excellent. Now, as regarding Calverton City and its future dealings with the Inter-City Alliance. General, will you and your people accept Mayor McCann as your representative to the Inter-City Council, and abide by any resolutions he agrees to?"

Hargreaves looked at McCann, a long, searching look. Finally, he sighed and said, "You've always been a more political animal than I was comfortable with, but... that's exactly what we need now, isn't it Paedric?"

"I honestly hope so, Horace. If we need a military man for dealing with the Alliance, I fear we've already lost."

Hargreaves bowed his head for a moment, lips moving, then straightened up. "I will accept whatever resolutions Paedric agrees to, with the single caveat that if those resolutions prove to be so onerous that our people die as fast as they would while at war, then I'll let them die with weapons in hand."

Saffron nodded. "That sounds eminently fair. Mayor McCann, are you ready to leave?"

"Right now?"

She stood, Glowing Midnight flowing around her as she reached out a hand to the Mayor. "Absolutely." She smiled. "I've got to get back as soon as possible, before the Council forgets what their Imperator looks like." As he took her hand, she turned to face me and said, "I leave hunting these criminals, these Rogue Heroes, in the capable hands of General Hargreaves, Hero Lancaster, Heir Lancaster, and especially the Commander of the Phileo Expedition." She nodded at us each in turn, then said, "gentlemen," before stepping away to Newark.

I turned to the General. "The Rogue Heroes are moving in teams of eight, right?" He nodded. "Okay, I can reliably Translocate six people at a time, I think, but not if they're wearing or carrying any Cold Iron. Well, not more than a locket or something. A sword is probably too much, and armor or shields are right out. Can you have four groups of five standing by in the Scrying Room, ready to go when we spot them?"

He nodded. "Absolutely. I'd be honored to lead one of them, if you'll have me."

I shook my head, but smiled to try to take the edge off. "I appreciate the offer, but honestly? You're probably the most experienced field commander we have. If those assholes group up and attack Lancaster House while our ready Heroes are off chasing ghosts, we need you here leading our troops to have the best chance of stopping them permanently."

General Hargreaves nodded. "I see the wisdom in that." A crooked smile slipped onto his face. "To hear Garland tell it, you're a blood curdling monster barely capable of human speech, let alone strategic thought."

I shrugged and smiled back. "Yeah, I'm guessing he got Oliver's description of me. He and I didn't meet under the best of circumstances."

The General cocked his head, obviously intrigued. "Oh?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He'd just engineered an ambush of our diplomatic party who were waiting to negotiate peace, as Oliver and his dad had agreed to. Killed all of our diplomats. Including my wife. So I killed about half of his Army and routed the rest, straight up killed most of his Heroes, cut off his extremities, ripped off his nose, popped his eyes out, and burned out his tongue."

The General looked a little pale at that, but gamely said, "really."

I nodded again. "Yep. Cut his dad's arms and legs off too for not stopping him. Killed him too, but Revived him. Not really as humanitarian as it might have been; at the time I just regretted not showing him what I'd done to his son." I paused, looking at the ceiling for a moment, thinking. "Oh, yeah. When I heard he'd been feeding Alliance information to Garland, I burned out his eyes and ears. Did I burn off his nose and cock? Yeah, I think I did. I was a little irate."

By that point the other Calverton Heroes were looking at me like I'd just said, 'I'm a Dragon in disguise, and your bussy virginity is mine!' or some shit. General had a little more intestinal fortitude than that, he just nodded, forced a sympathetic smile, and said, "he engineered your wife's demise in the most dishonorable way possible. I'll admit I'm... impressed by your thoroughness, but totally understand your reaction." He paused a little bit, then said, "I'm sorry for your loss?"

I shrugged that off, with an absolutely intentional throwing away gesture. "Water under the bridge. She and I are notoriously hard to kill and even harder to keep dead. Probably a good thing, what with her being Imperator and all."

"Ah. Well. I'm glad to hear it. What are the Imperator's duties again?"

I smiled at him. "Oh, she runs the Council meetings, more or less, holds a tiebreaker vote for when the rest of the Council is deadlocked. Oh, and she's head of the Alliance Army. So, y'know, if Calverton winds up joining the Alliance? She'll be your boss."

"If you don't mind my asking, what position do you hold on the Council?"

I looked around, the gesture pure theater. "Good, no politicians around. Officially? I don't have one. No head nor stomach for politics. Makes my head spin and my stomach sour. But unofficially?"

"Yes?"

"I'm the Imperator's Attack Dog. She points and says 'kill', shit dies."

I don't know what I expected, but a gout of relieved, genuinely amused laughter wasn't high on the list. After a few moments, his Heroes joined in. Even the Cadets snickered a little, but mostly at the disbelieving looks some of the Heroes at the far end of the table gave me. When he stopped laughing, General Hargreaves nodded to me and said, "well then. I believe your Imperator pointed at our Rogue Heroes and said, 'Kill', so let's be about it then?"

I nodded, and we all pushed away from the table. As we left, I pulled Marie in for a quick snog and said, "look out for Isnomi and her band of miscreants?"

She said, "Yes," but her eyes glinted with mischief.

"Make sure they don't get up to too much deviltry?"

"Maybe."

I laughed, played about five seconds of tonsil hockey and grab ass, then headed for the Scrying Room.

Kinda glad I'd gotten good practice at keeping a poker face, what with Saffron playing with my new hot button this morning, because while the General, Lachlan, and all the Cadets had already headed downstairs? All ten Calverton Heroes kept swiveling their gazes from me to Marie and back until I hit the steps and walked out of sight.

Spent the rest of the day Scrying all the Farmsteads in an expanding spiral around Lancaster House. No sign of assholes.

Late in the afternoon, I remembered something I'd forgotten to ask Saffron.

Kitten?

Yes, Goof?

Who were you gonna have refereeing between Bonnie and Marie?

Oh, that? Not to worry. I have the utmost faith in the... She paused, then slammed that goddamned beautiful awful singsong button. Imperator's Attack Dog.

Said it before time and again, never gonna stop saying it. 'My chick bad, badder than yours. My chick do things I can't even put in words.'

How else could I reply to my Glorious, Magnificent Bitch?

Woof.