Dear Diary,

"Bloodlust: rage, fury unbound,

But bound to visceral thirst,

Hunger for life feasts on death."

Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Bloodlust

I'm not sure exactly how to describe it to someone else. What's weird is that it's emotional. Visceral. Coming straight up from my crotch to try and override my brain. I mean, I get where anybody watching Marie move, or listening to Siobhan care for people, or experiencing Saffron being Saffron would wind up feeling that sensation. If somebody's not Ace, and let me be clear I've got nothing against Ace people, I just do not viscerally grok where they're coming from, they'll feel that at some point. Maybe they won't feel it until they're looking at a naked hottie in front of them looking all Little Caesars, maybe they feel it every time they see something that could vaguely be construed as an abstract image designed to evoke thoughts of carnality. But at some point, barring repression or oppression, everybody will feel that urge to engage in, as the Bloodhound Gang song says, the Act of Mating.

I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader where along that spectrum of thirst I reside.

But bloodlust isn't about getting Satan's doorbell rung, or somebody's ashes hauled, or about the urge to engage in an actual or simulated act of mating. Because there are some mating simulations that are absolutely sexual in nature yet have zero chance of producing offspring. Still lust, still sex, still... clean. No matter how much the participants desperately need a bath afterward. Which reminds me, at some point I need to get dirtier than that for just that reason and then have the ladies clean me off cat style, and by the prickling of my crotch Future Me has in fact not only checked that off my bucket list, but added it back on as several discrete line items. So maybe I'll do it anyway.

Bloodlust is about that drive, that urge, that thirst, that lust being entirely pointed at doing harm unto another being. Like, some tiny bit of me looking at Lindsey is constantly vomiting. Not because he's awful and smarmy; the part that's vomiting about that isn't small. But there is a part of me that wants to stare deep into his eyes as I'm killing him to death as painfully as possible, just so he can see each and every time I get off while I'm doing it. A small part of that part of me is vomiting at the thought of even that much sexual association with the smarmy bastard. The weird thing, I'm pretty sure that Marie gets it, but I'm not sure she actually experiences it. Like, I've come to the realization talking with her and Saffron and even Siobhan that Maenads are absolutely walking incarnations of thirst, and they're also built for battle, and there's gonna be some Venn Diagram overlap there. But I think it might be 'the exhilaration of combat gets me horny' not 'inflicting painful harm and death on others gets me off'.

And I'm a Goddess of that shit. Again with the 'I am not copacetic about this, but hopefully my words will temper the actions of others'. And maybe give me some gutter bumpers next time I'm pissed off enough to give in to it.

So yesterday after we finished Dealing With Fae For Dummies with our instructor, Hottie McMILFynerd, Before I could give in to my completely sane, rational, and righteous since we're married urges to cart her off and have my way with her, Karen's voice chimed in my head. Goddess?

Saffron replied while I was still trying to to convince my lady bits that using Karen's mouth on Saffron so I could watch my Kitten's eyes roll back was Just Not Cool. Ambassador. Report.

I have just returned to Adrienne's suite of rooms. Lady Crow summoned me at moonrise and requested that I join her as she held court. She placed me at her left hand, while Cailyn stood to her right. Again this evening she invited me to dine with her family, although this time I believe she intentionally implied a potential liaison between myself and one of her family, perhaps herself. To be clear, she made no such advances in private, although... she trailed off.

Karen, you okay?

She'd begun projecting like she had the day before, and I caught the brief impression of a languid smile, not to mention a very strong impression of not quite being entirely mentally together. Apologies, Goddess. I had a piece of flatbread with dinner.

Kitten? Why am I not executing a bitch for poisoning our Ambassador.

Saffron chuckled in ways I felt all the way down my front. We were still in the tub after all. Hush, love. What grain do you think the Fae use for their bread?

I dunno? Rye?

The same grain Mimic stole whole fields of the week before last. While I sat there comprehending but not believing, she explained, the Fae are creatures of Mana, living in the Mortal Realm they need that, lest they starve. Lady Crow is ostensibly honoring our Ambassador by treating her as one of her own family.

Ostensibly?

Oh, she definitely gets benefits from it. It looks, to her Court, like we support her.

Why are we letting her get away with that? I growled.

Because if she is dealing with us in good faith, I see no reason not to support her, and if she is not, everyone will see the truth of matters when you desecrate her corpse.

Could you maybe not... why the fuck you gotta say it like that?

She grinned at me. Because it's incredibly hot.

Goddess, Imperator, may I relay to you my memories of the evening meal, which is the only time Lady Crow seems ready to speak with me? My... current perceptions and thoughts are less than coherent.

Please do, thought Saffron.

Again Lady Crow seated Karen first. An honor, to be seated before the hostess, Saffron's voice whispered into my head. Cailyn sat after her mother, at which point first Lindsey, then Ria, entered and sat. The five-bite salad course came out. "Tell me, Ambassador. Is your Imperator's hunger for conquest sated? For now, at least?"

Today's salad had something crunchy in it. Nuts or seeds, not croutons, wrong crunch. "The Alliance has yet to mount an offensive war. The Imperator seeks only to ensure the safety of the Alliance and her Cities."

Tallulah frowned, although she looked at the bowl as she did so, so she might have just disagreed with the whole seed and or nut inclusion in the salad. "I'm told Norfolk claims they were attacked?"

Karen chewed thoughtfully, then swallowed and nodded. "They were, but not by the Alliance. A single individual acting independently laid claim to the lands and goods of several Jarls."

"And King Gregor?" Tallulah added.

"And King Gregor," Karen confirmed.

I got the impression Lady Crow's next words weren't entirely intended for public consumption. Or she was a consummate actress, which was also very possible. "A single individual conquered our single strongest rival."

Karen just shrugged a response, since no question had been asked. The salad bowls were whisked away, replaced with bowls of broth with... a matzoh ball? Some kind of dumpling, maybe. The soup spoons were definitely closer to the Asian ones I'd seen, way better for the serious business of eating soup if you're not just gonna guzzle that shit from the bowl. Out of the corner of her eye, Karen saw Ria, having nommed the matzoh ball, do just that, trying to be sneaky about it by glaring at the bowl like she saw something in it, squinting and getting really close, then tipping one edge of it into her mouth.

"Ria!" Tallulah snapped, and I felt an immediate kinship with her, what with having an absolute hellspawn kid of my own. A moment later, as Ria returned to spooning broth, Lady Crow turned to Karen. "Understand I ask because my sources are, obviously, biased, but were the duels legal?"

Karen shrugged. "I am no expert on the Laws and Customs of Norfolk, but by my understanding the finest legal mind in Phileo looked over the challenge documents before they were presented, and he confirmed they were, according to the Laws and Customs of Norfolk, legally binding."

The Overlord's mouth drew up in an annoyed moue, and another mutter escaped her. "Laws of Norfolk," she scoffed, then went silent as she spooned up her own soup. When her little dumpling thing sat in her spoon, she asked, "Is the Alliance willing to recompense House Crow for the damages done to our townhouse during the purge of the Undead there?"

Karen froze, and for a moment I heard the echo of Saffron's lecture. Then she nodded, but said, "I see no reason why you should not be recompensed, although who in particular covered that cost is a matter above my authority to determine or dictate." At Lady Crow's inquisitive stare and cocked head, Karen explained, "should recompense be approved, it might be paid by the Alliance, by Calverton, by House Calvert, or perhaps by my Goddess."

Lady Crow thought about that while she savored her final spoon of soup. "Your Goddess would shoulder the burden of making this right?"

Karen's reply came instantly, with the subtle fervor of a zealot underlying her words. "My Goddess shoulders many burdens, and in every case where I have been informed of her motives it was to make things right."

The main course came out. Two crackers, two flatbreads, two slices of Baby Emmental, and two slices of pâté. Look, I know Baby Emmental isn't really a thing, but the holes were way too small for proper Emmental, and when Karen tasted a piece, it definitely tasted like a mild Emmental. Lady Crow looked down the table and said, "is it true, what they say your Goddess did at New Amsterdam?"

Karen swallowed, and I swear to fuck I felt her eyes light up. "Absolutely. I saw with my own eyes as she towered over the horizon, a being of pure Mana who banished not just the Plague, but all illness from the City with but a single Shape." After a moment, Karen blinked and asked, "did the Plague strike Rich Man's Port?"

Lady Crow looked a little disconcerted, both by Karen's answer and her question. "By the grace of The Morrigan, it did not. I..." She stopped, cleared her throat, and continued, her voice once again calm. "I referred to the final battle in Phileo's war against New Amsterdam."

Now the grin stretching across Karen's face became absolutely predatory. "Oh, yes. I witnessed that as well. The half that occurred before the walls of Newark, at least. Five thousand Levies, nearly five hundred Heroes, all struck down in a handful of minutes. From what those guarding the walls of Camden Yards tell me, similar slaughter occurred there."

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

The Overlord chewed on that that as she chewed on her crackers and cheese. "Your Goddess is an effective battlefield commander, then?"

Karen nodded. "Oh, yes. She led the Liberation of Calverton: the battle for the bay, the campaign, and the final assault all three." Karen smirked. "Since she led the Phileo Expedition to Lancaster House, Heir Lancaster calls her nothing but 'Commander'." Lady Crow nodded, and Karen frowned. "But..."

Lady Crow froze, almost vibrating with tension. "But?"

Karen sighed, totally an act. "I would not allow such a generous hostess to be deceived. She did not lead the Battle of the Walls."

"No?"

"No. She and she alone slaughtered ten thousand Levies and a thousand Heroes in minutes."

I swear to fuck Karen could hear Cailyn's heartbeat, the sweat dripping from Lindsey's brow, and Ria's eyes getting wider. "How many Heroes defend New Amsterdam now?"

Karen shrugged. "Oh, a few hundred from Phileo, backed up by a few hundred Units of Phileo Volunteers. Plus I think New Amsterdam's first new Heroes just graduated Phileo Heroic this past Equinox, and their Academy is nearly completely rebuilt now, so they should begin training their own Heroes to an acceptable standard soon."

Kitten, is she just giving away military details right now?

This was half an hour ago, and... yes, but I won't disagree with her on this. Have you been watching Lady Crow?

Yeah? What about her?

She's fucking terrified. Frightened of the Alliance, to be sure, but utterly terrified of you right now. I think if you showed up right now and asked to eat one of her daughters alive in front of her, she'd be regretting Adrienne not being in attendance.

Right about then, as Karen savored the remaining cheese and pate on one of the flatbreads, Lady Crow drew herself up and asked, "does the Alliance expect Us to surrender?"

Karen tilted her head, deliberately giving in to the rush of euphoria and confusion spreading through her from the flatbread. "We're... not at war. We don't want a war. Why would you need to surrender? Are you at war with someone else? If you are, I'm certain arrangements could be made to render assistance to a trustworthy, peaceful neighbor of the Alliance."

Lady Crow practically threw her napkin on the table, stood, and nodded to Karen. "Sleep well."

Karen stumbled to the door to Adrienne's chambers. As the door opened, Cailyn cleared her throat. "Ambassador Smith."

Karen turned, the otherwise empty room spinning gently after she did. "Cailyn. Call me Cailyn, Karen. I mean call me Karen, please, Cailyn Crow."

Cailyn nodded. "Call me Cailyn. Do you like women then, Karen?"

Karen chuckled. "Sure. M'best friends are women." She paused. "Oh! Wait, you meant... Why, do you like women?"

Cailyn shrugged. "I'm uncertain, having never lain with man or woman as of yet." When Karen raised an eyebrow, Cailyn said, "mother has yet to have need of me in that particular diplomatic role."

Karen cocked her head. "Until now, huh? Well then." She stepped forward, the bangles of the stripperific wedding dress tinkling around her as she closed the distance until Cailyn's eyes filled her field of view. ."May I?"

"You ask?"

"My Goddess values Agency. May I?"

"Do you want to?"

Karen chuckled, "I want to know if you're as attracted to women as I am. I ask a third time, May I?"

Smiling, Cailyn nodded. Their lips met, and I swear to god I recognized my Marie's technique as Karen's tongue thoroughly explored Cailyn's mouth down to the fuckin' tonsils. Karen's hands roamed, even guided Cailyn's hands as they did. Endless moments later, Karen drew away, grinning.

Tabitha?

Yeah Dad?

Please don't fill my head with visceral tactile imagery of your Maenad's tongue.

Sorry Dad.

De Nada.

"Yep. You're just as straight as I am. Which means if you really want to lose your innocence while I can claim involuntary intoxication, my door's open, but yeah, you're not really attracted to women."

Cailyn blinked, her eyes refocusing. "You'd.. .offer yourself as a doxy to me?"

Karen shrugged. "In this case, the words mean less than their meaning. My Goddess is a Goddess of Passion, of Ecstasy. Should you desire either, it would be an act of Devotion for me to share them with you." Her grin got a little conspiratorial. "If we can convince my Maid, though, we'd both best cancel our appointments for tomorrow. Maybe the day after. Walking might be difficult. As might speaking or thinking coherently. Totally worth it though." As Cailyn got the oddest pearlescent blush, Karen looked her up and down.

"Shameless." Cailyn didn't sound nearly as offended as the word might imply.

"I have nothing to be ashamed of." Karen said, then leaned her head just a touch toward Cailyn. "Neither do you."

"Ah. Well. I... Perhaps another time then." The words came out of Cailyn in a rush, and then she was gone.

Karen stepped into the room, and thought, Goddess?

My Kitten reached out and the vision of the past stopped, leaving me with the odd view of Karen pouring gargantuan bottles of cinnamon whiskey and one fifty one rum, the latter on fire, into the Maw. While giggling. Cackling like a madwoman, really.

"Hey Kitten? Why can't I go there again?"

"After how Karen described you? You showing up uninvited would absolutely be an Act of War." Floating in the tub, she turned her back to me and settled onto my chest, pulling my arms around her. "That's better. Magnificent or not, they're terribly heavy at times."

"Don't they float?"

"Hush, you, you're the one who addicted me to bras."

I snorted out a laugh at that. Not like I really minded. "Okay, but Marie's there."

"Ah, yes, but how is she dressed?"

I thought about that for a second. "Oh, c'mon. Lady Crow doesn't strike me as the kind of idiot who would underestimate a Maenad. Even if she doesn't know who Marie is exactly."

Saffron shook her head, and I enjoyed how her pony tail thwapped at my chin. "No, but that polite fiction marks Marie as a servant. Whether she is a menial tasked with cleaning, a lady's maid, a bodyguard, or perhaps all three is immaterial. She is part of Karen's retinue, and Lady Crow was prepared to entertain four Trolls and four Sailors. One Maid is, on balance, next to nothing."

"Huh. Good to know we've got someone watching over Karen while she sleeps at least."

"Indeed. It's also good to know that Cailyn had no... inappropriate motives with Karen."

I snorted out a laugh, maybe got a little handsy myself. "Nothing inappropriate, just tryna bed our Karen, huh?"

"Exactly. Much as Lindsey did last night, albeit Cailyn is far less... gauche about the whole thing."

"Yeah. Lindsey gives me the creeps. Total slimeball. Think he reminds me of something, someone, as well."

Saffron perked up. "You think you remember him?"

I shook my head. "Yes? Maybe? I have no fuckin' clue."

"What does your gut tell you?"

"Uh... other than 'stuff my Kitten full of sweets, paint myself in honey, and see what happens?" She elbowed me, snorting, and I said, "yeah, part of me says make his head go pop and throw him in the tanning waste. Another part of me says use him 'til he breaks. A part I really don't want to think about is saying the same thing, but thinking about spreading a fine layer of him over several hundred meters of my widest tentacle."

Her shoulders hunched a little. "But nothing about... nothing connected to the curse."

"Sorry, Kitten."

"Oh, don't be. You didn't ask to be cursed." She turned her head half around to shoot me a little side eye. "Did you?"

"Not that I remember. But, y'know, dumbass she-himbo. Maybe I did? Fuck."

"That last is the most sensible thing you've said all day."

Dreamt of Marie using the Leidenfrost Effect to skitter Ice Pops across my Maw, dripping cool, sweet Siobhan juice across my tentacles.

Woke up to Karen still sleeping, and spent the latter half of the morning carving out the side buildings at the Homestead. The first half I worked with Saffron to bore a hole from near the peak of the low mountain our main house was built into straight down to the rearmost room. Apparently the steps would go in later. Also, apparently the bore lighting on fire wasn't part of the plan, and we wound up using a combination of filling the bore with Created Water and Saffron creating an expanding Filtration Ward set to deny flames that started with us and expanded to cover the whole fuckin' mountain. Bit of an oof, but more 'whoa, that's heavy' than 'oh, fuck, I hurt myself'.

Early in the afternoon Karen pinged us. I am summoned to Court. I absolutely treasured the fact that she had to stand there listening to the bullshit Tallulah had to apparently deal with on the daily instead of me. I also treasured not having to stand a Tallulah's throne width away from Lindsey all day, because that fucker gave me, personally, the creeps while watching him with Karen's eyes.

After the Bore was drilled, extinguished, and cooled, Marie arrived with the kids. Who were under very strict instructions, enforced by Murder Mittens herself, and miraculously agreed to by Menace and Maze both, to remain within the confines of the Main House, not even to venture into the interconected basements. I didn't get to see directly, but watched them doing some... painting, I think? On the walls of one of the big rooms.

The Overlord didn't invite Karen to dinner with the family tonight. Instead, she sat to Tallulah's left hand in the big banquet hall, right across from Lindsey. Weirdest thing, I kind of expected, like, small talk, but other than some really stilted questions about the cargo of the Questing Tentacle? Nothing. No small talk, no big talk, just eating with the occasional faint praise or condemnation of the food. Which was steaks. Small ones, but blue rare steaks. The entire banquet hall ate with the enthusiasm of a room full of five-year-old kids fed liver and brussels sprouts.

When, at the end of the meal, Lady Crow led Karen to the upstairs table, which had only the two end chairs in evidence, with one big teacup set at each end, she turned and said, "I cannot dine in private every night."

"Of course. We are all of us bound by duty."

Lady Crow seemed to relax, then took a drink from her cup, relaxing even further as she did. Karen, who'd evaded all but a few nibbles of Fae bread, sipped her own. I swear to all that I hold dear I nearly fuckin' came right there as the taste of liquid, almost gooey chocolate hit her tongue. "Oh, this is lovely."

"From the isthmus to the south and west. It is quite distinctive and pleasant." They sipped at their... it seemed almost insufficient to call it 'hot cocoa'. This shit tasted and almost felt like the inside of a chocolate lava cake. "Where is the Hole Matriarch?"

"Tabitha Diaz slew her."

Lady Crow took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Of course she did. Single combat?"

Karen shrugged. "The beast was draining the life of the entire Alliance Army. So... not precisely, but Tabitha was in fact the only one who could close with her, and," Karen tried, but couldn't help but let a single snicker out. "slay her."

"You find it amusing?"

"My Goddess dropped a ship on her."

The Overlord pursed her lips in a straight up Obama 'not bad' face, then said, "I suppose there is some humor there. What sits at the center of Calverton Bay?"

Karen smiled. "The ship my Goddess dropped on the Hole Matriarch. Her flagship. The Black Dragon."

Lady Crow's head tilted sideways. "Why can I not see it?"

"Her hull is laced with Cold Iron." The Overlord frowned. "From what I'm given to understand, several thousand tons of it."

Tallulah very slowly, very carefully winched her mouth shut. Then took another long pull of her chocolate. She took another deep breath, nodded, then squared her shoulders, the Overlord once more. "You have answered all my questions, with little evasion or hesitation. Ask one question, and I will answer with equal candor."

Karen nodded, then took her time thinking while she finished her own chocolate. She carefully set the empty mug down on the saucer before speaking. "This was wonderful. Shortly after the Equinox, a person of significance to the Alliance had a persistent Spell placed on them. Testing by Archmage Aetos-Diaz showed the Spell to be Fae in nature. Consultation with the Weyland Smith revealed that the Spell is the handiwork of one trained by House Crow. What do you know of the Spell of which I speak?"

The Overlord's face went through an absolute roller coaster of emotions, all but the last almost perfectly hidden. Pride when Karen complimented the chocolate. Confusion and a little fear when Karen mentioned the curse. More fear and the beginnings of anger when Karen revealed the curse to be Fae, fear spiking when she dropped Conrad's name, then her anger burning away the fear and becoming clear on her face when Karen accused House Crow. Tallulah visibly composed herself, then replied. "I know nothing. This is the first time I am hearing of this Spell." Rigid self control radiating from every inch of her body, she rose. "Sleep well." With that she turned and was gone into her rooms.

Karen very carefully did not let out the breath she wanted to. Well, that's something.

A Sidhe noble like Tallulah Crow cannot lie. So... yes? It is? thought Saffron. Then, do as she says, Karen. Get some rest. Marie will watch over you.

Thank you, Imperator. Good night, Imperator. Good night, Goddess.

You did good, Karen. Thanks.

Karen stood and walked to her door. The moment before she stepped through, someone pulled at her jacket. She turned to see a stick wobbling in front of her face, then followed it down. "Oh, hell no. Don't even. Just don't."

Ria looked crestfallen, but shook her head, whispering, "shh! Mother doesn't know I'm here." Then she braced her hands on Karen's thighs and shoved her back into Adrienne's rooms. Surprised and obviously not wanting to hurt the kid, Karen stumbled backwards, mentally whispering, Marie! I need you! As a witness if nothing else!

As Murder Mittens stood and walked toward the pair, Ria looked up at Karen and stuttered out, "p, p, p, please, may I talk to Tabitha?"