Dear Diary,

"I hope I am remembered by my children as a good father."

- Orson Scott Card

Y'know, I never read any of his books; heard they didn't age well, and the movie didn't grab me that hard. But this, oh, my god, this. This captures the essence of it, I think. If at some point when she's an adult Isnomi turns to me and and says 'I'm glad you're my Mom', or even if Maze says 'I'm glad you're my papa', I am definitely gonna need some time for a good cry. A definite, 'I have won at life' moment.

Yeah, I wonder if this is what it's like for rich people. Like, if I could reach back and grab myself from before I got Isekaied by bullet-kun, show her my life here and now, I'm sure she'd say something like, 'holy shit, we won at life' or something similar. Because when I look at it from the perspective of a young woman who'd gradually had everything taken from her, bit by bit, my current life is pretty fuckin' sweet. My short stack hottie wife and I have two different suites with Maid service. Our Maid slash Concubine slash gonna be wife with slash fic crazy sexx0rz up in that bitch is gonna wind up a literally blushing bride, and now I want Conrad to tweak the dress so her blush turns it pink. Hell, I think we've got another two houses? Homes? Buildings we own? My wife literally worships me, and I adore the fuck both out of and into her. My gonna be wife is so traditionally wifey that I have to concentrate to remember that she is not, in fact, already wifed. The three of us have six kids with every intention of making more, and there isn't any aspect of child rearing that one or more of us doesn't love doing.

Seriously, we're rich, powerful, and happy as fuck. Kid me couldn't even complain about lack of candy, what with Murder Mittens' supernatural ability to recreate any fuckin' food I can think of. Yet somehow my brain has decided on new win conditions. Like, I got all this, but I need more. Then again, I guess that one isn't so much 'need more' so much as 'need evidence that I'm doing good with everything I've been given'. Hell, maybe that's part of why. Given. Like I didn't earn all of this. I mean, shit, what have I done at the end of the day other than killed a shit ton of people. Okay, some of those people were serious fucking assholes, so maybe I did the world a service by servicing them into the ground. But still, I stand by my statement. Kid comes by and says 'you're a good mama / papa / parent', and I'm gonna make myself a fucking trophy that says 'I won life, fuck you'.

So yesterday was pretty fuckin' awesome. Spent the day gushing to Sigyn and Loki about Maze, spent the day first scrying up, duplicating, then starting to read a copy of Hat Full of Sky with the girl child herself, and spent most of the overwatch day cycling Marie through different outfits 'just to be sure'.

Sadly, her armored add-ons didn't go well with the tee and jeans, nor did they work all by themselves. Her in a suit not unlike Saffron's from the Battle of the Bands set wheels spinning in my head. Fortunately I remembered my recent unfortunate reactions to boy mode Saffron, or Marie would have had another Boon and a commandment to make use of it and me in the Captain's quarters. Hell, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about just going there anyway, but at the time I was having too much fun playing dress up doll. Of course, I realized my big limitation when I tried to put her in a cheerleader outfit. Despite my intention to do so, I'd never actually had one of those made for Saffron, and while I'm really good at mimicking shit, I'm a little lacking when it comes to 'original creations'. Go figure. Thankfully, I've got Marie and Conrad, both of whom are awesome at that shit and enjoy doing it. Which means given the simplicity of the design I described, I'm pretty sure Saffron and Marie will both have one of those within the week. I very carefully did not put her back in her jeans and tee again, because I am absolutely a woman and goddess of my word, and that tee shirt was getting ripped open next time she wore it. Hate to have to have her make another one just to be ripped up again.

Brought her home back in Glowing Midnight with the armored add-ons in place. Dunno if they helped the one time she got called in, but seeing her come back with ichor splatter all over them definitely put me in a mood. Took advantage of dinner time Co-Location to get her nice and clean up in the tub. So adorable when she blushed at my very pointed opinions about her in uncanny valley mode.

After we got the kids ready for bed, I turned to Maze and said, "here or bedroom?"

She looked at the tub, got a cute little frown on her face, and said, "somebody's had a bath in here tonight."

I laughed and confessed. "Yeah, your mama Marie got a little messy today." When she frowned at me, I said, "I swear, I didn't do it! She had to rescue some people from Undead down in Calverton, and I guess there were enough she couldn't take them all out without some getting on her."

Her eyes got a little wide when I told her Marie had been rescuing people from Undead, but after I finished talking she huffed out a sigh. "Didn't you help her?"

I shook my head. "She can tell me if she needs my help, and if she doesn't, I need to keep watch in case other people need saving."

She nodded, then frowned as she reached up to take my hand. "What if another group needs saving while you're out?"

I doubled myself to take her other hand as well, swinging her up as she laughed. "Then things get a little complicated." When I set her down and collapsed back into one of me, she led me into the bedroom, and I locked the door behind us before claiming my spot in the cuddle pile.

Mimic dreamt of dancing like nobody was watching. No, seriously, doing the whole 'inflatable flailing guy at grand openings' dance. Fuckin hypermelanistic orange tabby, I tell you. Dancing while shrimp chili rained from the sky.

Morning clean routine was morning clean routine; at the end Maze came over to me, did uppy hands, and when I lifted her up she scrambled around onto my shoulders. I hadn't really realized how tall the doors in Lancaster House were. I thought I'd have to duck, but Marie didn't, so after the first one when Maze complained I stayed upright and hid my wince when she slapped the door frame. When we got to the dining room, I swear Menace's eyes got bigger than her whole fuckin' face, like she'd never thought of that, or had forgotten about it or some shit.

Today wound up being a little weird. Not terrible, but different in weird ways. One of me stood watch with Marie down on the mast of the Black Dragon. Nothing much happened; she got called in once, but we only had three red flags total. One of me played with the kids; at one point I realized that my deception had not gone unnoticed when Menace sniffed out my hiding spot, pounced on me, and whispered, "found you, Mama!" One of me sat on Menace's bed and let Maze read to me. We finished maybe a third of the book, although part of that might have been because she fell asleep for an hour or so in the middle of the day.

When I hopped Saffron and I to the Practice Yard for the day, she looked around and said, "I had a different kind of exercise in mind for today, love." A moment later she looked up at me while I stared at her naked boobs in the now bedless Love Shack, then broke up laughing. "Not this either, you Goof." Then she smiled. "Maybe later."

"Maybe?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Of course later. Maybe even less later than you think."

I restored our uniforms and asked, "okay, so what are we doing today?"

She said, "just a moment," concentrated on something, then moved her hand around like she was interacting with a Spell window. After a few moments she nodded, then took my hand and stepped us to a classroom. "Good morning, Doctor Roberts. I was wondering if we could we borrow Cadet Carruthers for the day?"

They frowned, but said, "I suppose, although I'd hate to impede his progress."

Saffron looked over at Linus, who'd just really registered our presence, and said, "I'm more than willing to tutor Cadet Carruthers if he's in need. Linus? What say you? We could use someone to help us with some heavy work."

He sighed, then stood up, carefully closing his book. "Okay, Imperator. Where do you need me?"

Saffron smiled at him. "This isn't a command from the Imperator, Linus. It's a request from a friend and fellow Cadet."

"But you're a Hero now?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, but we were Cadets together, and with how hard you work at it, I'm sure you'll be a Hero eventually too. Now, would you rather stay and study with Doctor Roberts today, or come help us." She paused. "If Doctor Roberts doesn't mind, you can bring your book and Tabitha and I will," she paused, absolutely deliberately, "help you study later."

Carruthers looked at Doc Roberts, innocent puppy dog eyes coming naturally to him, and Doc laughed and waved. "Go ahead."

Saffron stepped the three of us into a room I recognized almost immediately as a Lancaster farmstead farm house. "Just a moment," she said, then disappeared.

"What are we doing here?"

"No idea, man. This is as much a surprise to me as it was to you, although I think this is the farmstead Lancaster gave Saffron for her birthday, maybe?"

He looked around. "It's kinda a wreck. Does she want us to fix it up or something?"

I shrugged. "Maybe?"

He shook his head. "I'm not really good at fixing things."

I laughed. "Me neither, dude. I just break shit."

At that point Saffron arrived with Lachlan in tow. The two looked at each other, then did one of those Arnie and Weathers hand clasps, followed by a big bro hug. I think the two of them together might have actually tipped the muscle to brains ratio deeply to the muscle side, even with Saffron standing in the room. Then Lachlan did the same thing with me, and I realized that it had already been near even, what with him being the one to wince a little. At that point I had to do the same for Carruthers, and lemme tell you, it's surprising for someone to be stronger than a big strong bastard of a Phileo Hero like Lachlan without actually being, y'know, a Phileo Hero.

After our big old bro hug fest, all three of us turned to Saffron, and I asked, "okay, Kitten. What did you need the three of us for?" Short Stack Saffron's first three horse hitch, starring this pair of Clydesdales?

She snerked a little at that. Don't tempt me, we have work to do. "Heir Lancaster has graciously granted us this farmstead, but the farmhouse itself is patently insufficient to our needs as an abode. So before we begin taking on farm workers or even think about moving our family in, we'll need to build anew."

Stolen novel; please report.

Carruthers held up a hand, and when Saffron nodded to him, he said, "I don't know much about building, but won't the buildings you have get in the way?"

Lachlan snorted and shoulder-bumped Carruthers. "I think she wants us to help get rid of the old ones, man."

"OH!" Carruthers looked down to Saffron. "Really?"

She smiled, way more patient than I would be. "Yes, Linus. I would very much like it if you two could help Tabitha and I take down the current buildings." And maybe help Tabitha and I do some Science! Later.

My gaze snapped onto her when that thought percolated into my brain, but Lachlan had a question. "How do you want us to do it?"

She nodded, Grinning at me. "Any furnishings should go to the west barn. Any fixtures which can be removed intact, or rendered into lumber, please put the lumber into the west barn as well. We'll pile the stone in the courtyard. Neatly, please, I intend to reuse as much as possible, one way or another."

Lachlan interrupted my intended Saffron interrogating by asking, "just the farmhouse?"

Saffron shook her head. Later, love. For now, you simmer... For Science! "No, we'll be expanding the courtyard, and both the farmhouse and the bunkhouses will be expanded as well. So we'll be taking both of them down, as well as the north and south barns."

Lachlan whistled long and low. "How much do you plan on expanding the place?"

She just looked at him and deadpanned, "yes."

That got a laugh out of both of them, and Saffron waved the three of us into starting. She didn't shirk herself, either, although she couldn't quite reach as high as the three of us. Hell, Lachlan and Carruthers both had at least a foot of reach on me, too. We started with the furniture from all three buildings. Honestly, there wasn't much; it looked like the last residents might have used some of it for firewood. When we finally got outside, I got a look at the grounds. The place was set into the end of a valley. Hell, it was almost a box canyon, with mountains on both sides, the farmstead backed by a low hill to the west with a barn behind it, and a short valley to the east that culminated in a shored up cave.

"Y'know, I can't think this place gets that much sun in the morning," I said as I carried a pair of big chairs toward the barn to the west.

"It does not." Saffron confirmed.

I shrugged. "So maybe we ought to put the farmstead up against the hill, since we're rebuilding?"

Saffron nodded to me. "I'd intended to do so, once I conferred with you."

Lachlan frowned. "Not traditional." He blushed. "Not that you have to follow tradition. Your farmstead, and you're not using Lancaster funds for the rebuilding. But what about the mine? Is it played out or something?"

Saffron shook her head. "Larry told me he suspected it was, mostly, but there are a few veins which were never tapped. I only found them via Divination."

Lachlan shook his head. "How are you gonna get into it then?"

As we reached the barn and started setting furniture inside, she said, "Since we do not intend to have 'Women's Quarters' in our house, since they'd be rather redundant, I'll be leaving the rear of the first floor as the mine entrance." She Grinned up at the pair as we started back toward the house. "Unless one or both of you are volunteering to fill the 'Men's Quarters' if we build them?" Both guys kinda gabbled at that, coherence apparently being beyond their shared brain cell. Saffron put on her best serious face and said, "I promise you, you'll be absolutely safe. I'll even allow you to wear clothing." They both got a little red, and I realized that the problem wasn't lack of brain cells, it was their entire blood supply being redirected to the wrong heads. "At least one day a week." They both laughed at that, but it definitely had that brittle edge of dudes who had no idea if the woman flirting with them was serious or not.

Above the neck I wasn't sure if I really wanted my Kitten pulling that particular train, but I had to admit her flirting was totally hot. Also, trying to be honest with myself, I admitted that I would absolutely let her do any blessed thing she wanted, and count myself lucky if I got to join in. At one point, with the other two out of sight, I shifted over to boy me for a moment, and my lower brain chimed in loud and clear that I was absolutely down for being one of the Little Engines That Desperately Wanted To.

Like halfway through the day, when the sun was at its hottest, first Carruthers, then Lachlan, then I had stripped off first our jackets, then shirts. Kinda weird contrast, what with Carruthers having a full on 'chest bush', as Austin Powers would say, and Lachlan being smooth chested. When I pulled my shirt off, the two of them looked away, then glanced back, then turned to blatantly stare. I definitely got some weird mixed emotions about that. Oddly enough, none of them were shame at being looked at. Some guilt and shame at the very insistent thought I'd like them to do more than look, yeah, but no shame about what they were looking at. Ripped body is ripped, after all, and somehow I'd retained my tits despite stupid low bodyfat elsewhere. Blend for the win. When I realized I'd caused a full on work stoppage, I laughed and said, "really, guys, if you think mine are nice, you should see hers."

I gestured at Saffron, who had pulled off her jacket but kept the shirt on underneath, despite how sweat made it go sheer and clingy enough to give anybody looking a very good idea at the massive monsters lurking beneath, but neither of them looked. Carruthers said, "holy shit, Diaz. How the fuck are you still alive?"

I looked down and realized that along with the girls I'd also revealed a lot more of my scars than I normally did to anybody but my wives, our kids, and their close friends, who were all little kids. I shrugged. "Shit had to get done. I didn't have time to die."

Lachlan walked over, and if I tensed up, it was absolutely not that I thought I was in any kind of danger. He might have been, but then again, he too was a genuine Phileo City Hero, and a big old himbo to boot. He could take it, I was sure. He got just out of reach and dropped to one knee. "Champion Diaz, I must apologize."

A nervous laugh leaked out of me. "Oh, hey, I'm the one that pulled them out. Can't say I'd be totally upset about joining all the Lancaster House Ladies in your personal spank bank."

He glanced up, confused, then shook his head. I swore I saw my statement fly out one ear, never to be thought about again. "No, Champion. I... When they announced you as a Hero-In-Waiting, I was jealous. Have had jealous thoughts more than once, that you might not deserve the title. But..." His eyes roamed across my skin, and he shuddered. "Any who suffered so in the service of Phileo surely deserves that Title. None more than you, Champion."

I reached down, took his arm, and pulled him to his feet. I looked up at him and said, "Lachlan, I can tolerate Diaz. Commander, even, just for old time's sake. But seriously, Champion's just way too much. I'd rather you call me Tabitha."

Right then Saffron had to make it weird by muttering, just loud enough to hear despite the laughter in her voice, "I'm sure she'd rather you scream it at some point."

Holy shit, Kitten. Pimping me out or something?

For Science! Also, I intend no profit from this save helping you with whatever has gripped you. Besides, look at him.

I did, and I realized that he'd suddenly become extremely aware of my gender and proximity. I pulled him in for a quick back slapping bro hug, really trying to ignore the fact that I now knew that he wasn't bare-chested, but his chest hair was so fine and light as to be invisible outside of, like, licking distance. Then I stepped back, pushing him back half a step as I did. "Not like he'd be interested, anyway, right? I mean, you're with Raven, right?"

He got the weirdest look, then said, "I've been fulfilling Larry's duties to the Ladies, since, uh, the Heir Consort doesn't want him doing that."

"Holy shit, Lachlan, you dog!" I bumped his shoulder, and he looked at me funny.

"Why do I think you don't mean that as an insult?"

I barked out a laugh, "beside the fact that I refer to myself as the Imperator's Attack Dog? Dude, don't you know how dogs look at the world?" When he shook his head, I clued him in. "If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it." That got a laugh out of both of them, if a little scandalized in Lachlan's case. I looked back at Saffron. "So, with all that pussy he's servicing, no way he'd want a torn up piece like me, right?"

"I didn't say that," Lachlan muttered.

When I turned back to look at him, he'd turned away, but Carruthers was still staring. A little higher than he had been before. "Yeah. You're pretty, and you're really fit. Nice tits, too. And... uh..." I watched the smoke as his brain tried to process something that had happened in the land foreign to Carruthers known as sixty seconds ago, until he blurted out, "and didn't you just say you're a dog, too?"

"Okay! Enough talking, we've got more buildings to demolish!"

The four of us worked our asses off, and by the time the sun approached the hill to our west, we had pretty much everything broken down. It helped that the two guys could lift even the biggest of the slabs of stone between the two of them, and Saffron and I could handle about eighty percent of them with just the two of us, no shapeshifting shenanigans needed. The two of us watched the two of them screwing around with the last bit to be demolished, the chimney. Carruthers wrenched each stone free and tossed it to Lachlan, who caught it and added it to the enormous pile of stones and slabs covering the courtyard.

Saffron looked up at me from where she'd leaned her back against me. So. They'd obviously be willing to split you like cordwood, in sequence or in turn. Thoughts? For Science?

The moment she thought that to me, I tensed up a little. A moment before, they'd just been some really yummy scenery goofing off. Now, though, shit got suddenly way more real. Uh. Yeah. Holy shit why do I suddenly want to be the meat in that sandwich?

Suddenly?

I rolled my eyes. Okay, yeah, I guess I just never thought about it before. Prime bread there, though.

Indeed. So I should tell them?

She opened her mouth, and I thought, No! No, I. Shit. Fuck, shit, bless, why the fuck?

So, which is worse?

Uh... Lachlan. Both ways. Good and bad. At her raised eyebrow, I thought, I think I prefer the smooth look.

Good to know. Now, when I tell you that I would pay to see you have your way with them, individually and in tandem, enjoying it all the while, and am thrilled that I could have that for free, does that change things?

I stopped staring at the guys, harder to do than I'd really like to admit, and thought about that. Then looked back at them and let my mind and lady bits collab on some fantasizing, only this time with Saffron playing cheerleader. In her cheerleader outfit, obviously. Yeah. Still problematic, but... She waited, and I let the emotions percolate. Less so, I think? Like I think it would definitely leave me feeling some kind of way, but I could maybe pull that off, if you really wanted me to? Like, took charge and just verbally puppetted me through the whole encounter? I frowned and looked down at her. Are you making up your wish list for your next birthday already?

She smiled and shook her head. Funny that you mention birthdays, but no, love. Are you still certain you want past those feelings?

Will it involve pulling a Lachlan Linus train?

She giggled. You realize I'm a little envious that I'm not included on that list? But to answer your question? I don't think so. Unless, at some point, you tell me you specifically want it to.

I sighed. Why are you doing this?

She wriggled herself around and pulled my arms around her. Because you asked me to, love.

Yeah, but what do you get out of it?

She shook her head, which did interesting things where her shirt had definitely not dried off yet, as it mooshed its way across my abs. My love for you is not transactional, Goof. But if an answer will help you, I get a wife who no longer feels guilt at her harmless desires. I get a partner who might join with Marie and I in uninhibited Dionysian Revels. I get to see the woman I love smile more, frown less, and indulge her harmless desires with no fear of recrimination or consequence. She pulled me down into a kiss and thought, I get you, unbound.

I thought you liked me bound?

Only when I put them there. And after last time we did that with Marie, I think I want to watch you break them even more than I want to watch you struggle.

The taste of her on my tongue, I pulled back just a little to stare into her eyes. "I love you, Saffron Aetos."

"And I you, Tabitha Diaz."

At that point Lachlan cleared his throat, and I looked over Saffron's head to see Lachlan and Carruthers both standing there, each with their shirts and jacket slung over one shoulder. "Uh..."

Saffron leaned back against my arms and shimmied up my front until she threw her head back with her tits mushed against mine. "Sorry, gentlemen. I don't believe we four will be playing tonight." When both of them looked crestfallen, she continued. "We seem to have dismantled all the bedrooms." When Lachlan looked like he was about to say something, she laughed and said, "trust me, my Goof is one you'll want a bed for."

Both of them nodded, sighing a little, but not, like, rude or aggressive about it. Just two half naked dudes looking at two half naked chicks, disappointed but accepting. I actually almost changed my mind right there, but that damn part of my brain that kept fucking with me by keeping me from fucking reared it's damn head again.

At that point Lachlan turned away, throwing an arm over Carruthers' shoulder and turning him as well. My sudden dreams of Yaoi were shattered when Lachlan said, "ever been to the Ladies' Quarters?"

"Isn't that against the rules?"

Lachlan shrugged. "I don't think the Heir cares much about that any more." Then he straightened up. "Never thought I'd find a bright side to that!"

Such a fuckin' himbo.