Dear Diary,

"Surprise is a condition of the mind."

- Unknown

Yeah. Holy shit yeah. Today. Wow. I, uh, wow. Fuck.

The fact that I am too overwhelmed to snicker, and I have every reason to believe certain parties intend to keep me this overwhelmed for the foreseeable future.

Okay, so yesterday evening, after spending the day alternately taunting me with saucy little six syllable songs and popping up to giggle and shout, "onna steek!" Saffron showed up on the Black Dragon shortly before sunset. "Good evening, love." She followed that with a kiss, then turned to Marie and asked, "is the new bed ready?"

At Marie's nod, Saffron stepped the three of us back to the Love Shack. The new bed was, in fact, in place, and it was a fuckin' monster. Like, the bed we'd had before didn't really have room to stand beside it, but this one straight up filled all but maybe ten feet at one end of the room. Kinda funny, I realized right then that the top of the mattress wasn't quite where the old bed's had been. This one was right around knee high on Marie and, I checked right then, just the right not quite waist height on Saffron. Little bit low overall, honestly, but with that kind of ergonomics I couldn't bring myself to do anything but squee. Little padded steps ran from the bed to the floor on both sides, but the middle had what looked like drawers set into it. Handles, anyhow. The headboard had some nice fancy knobs and shit, along with shelves with metal railings along the front edges like you'd see on a ship. Right smack in the middle of it was an oval mirror that stretched about two thirds of the way across the headboard, but somehow I could see the whole room in it, even most of the side walls next to the bed. I leaned to the side to check, and I wasn't sure, but I thought maybe the mirror had a little bit of a curve to it, like one of those security mirrors.

The ceiling above the bed looked weird in the mirror; when I glanced at it I realized why. With the Academy's stone walls, we didn't really need uprights at the foot to hold things to the ceiling, so whoever had made this Glorious monstrosity had just straight up mirrored the ceiling. Not one big mirror, either, but lots of smaller ones ranging in size from the biggest central one that was maybe the size of a serving cart to what had to be thousands of little ones filling in the gaps between the big ones. All in all, when I spun around and flopped into the bed next to where I'd pushed Saffron half onto it, the ceiling made me feel like I'd fallen into a kaleidoscope, but in a good way.

Then I pushed myself up onto my elbows and realized that the other end of the room had a single weird sofa looking thing filling it from side to side as well. I think technically it was a divan; one end had an armrest and a back, it looked like you could lie down and use the arm as a headrest. The longer I looked the more I thought it would be really nice to slouch in that corner and read, or play video games, not that there were any, or holy fucking shit it was absolutely placed for the optimum viewing angle on the rest of the god blessed room. Oddly enough, the other end sloped down to the floor, starting about halfway down. That led my eyes to the floor itself, which had been covered with some kind of padding. It looked suspiciously like a high end version of that shit you make yoga mats out of, and when I pushed with my toes, it had just that amount of give.

Of course the mirror behind the divan was absolutely one single piece, and I lost a few moments to staring at the reflection of Saffron's ass, then turned to look at her where she'd propped herself up on her elbows. "Wow."

She smiled at me. "You like?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah."

Marie flopped on the bed on my far side from Saffron, her knees hooked over the edge of the bed, the bed long enough for her to stretch her arms all the way above her head without bending them. "Good."

I think I might have even blushed a little when I nodded to the ceiling. "Part of me thinks those are a little redundant, what with everybody who comes to this room being able to Co-Locate..." Both of them grinned at me. "Really? You guys tried this setup out without me?" I tried really hard not to sound petulant, and totally failed.

Saffron looked positively offended. "Never!" Then she grinned. "We might have tested the idea of mirrors when he told us about them."

I nodded. "Conrad did this then? Kinda figured. Honestly, I'd been a little worried that those bits and bobs might, y'know, come off at some point."

Saffron Grinned, rolled over, and scampered to the headboard. Then she giggled and said, "only the ones that are supposed to." Then she slipped one of the rounded bits out of the headboard, revealing a twelve inch rounded rod. My face definitely heated up at that point. "Oh! One last thing!" She said as she slid it slowly back into place, then dropped it the last inch. I jumped a little at the sound, and she said, "lights, ten." The room lit up like a fucking operating room as the six lamps up near the ceiling slid open. "Lights, two." They slid back down until just before my wireframe vision kicked in. "Lights, red." The lamps twisted, and bathed the whole room in a sultry red light that put a whole different spin on her Grin.

"Please tell me the first step of the 'fix my broken shit' plan is to break this whole setup in?"

Her Grin melted into a smile, and I just melted when she crawled down and around to snuggle up next to me. My whole melty existence went sublime when Marie snuggled up on the other side. "Not yet, love. Not tonight. I did need to talk to you about that, though."

I nodded, laying my head back as Marie pulled one of the herd of pillows under it. "I like talking. Talking's good. I can do talking."

Saffron chuckled. "I'm well aware, Goof. But I need you to listen."

"Can... can I get a kiss first, at least?" She nodded, smiled, and leaned in. I got one from her and one from Marie when she was done with me. I sighed, obviously not utterly content, but absolutely fine with lying between them, simmering nicely while I listened to the sound of my beloved Kitten's voice.

"Now, love, I need you to understand. I think I know what's been tying you in knots, but first of all, I can't be sure." I nodded. "I could tell you what I know, and what I suspect, but that might make it harder to help you. Even explaining the why of that might be problematic. That said, I will absolutely tell you if that's what you want." I squeezed both of them to me and nodded again. "Okay then, final thing, what I plan will very likely confuse you, and possibly disturb you. I want you to know now that if I could see a way to help you without putting you through that, I would do so in a heartbeat." She paused, and I nodded a third time.

After a bit I said, "I think you want something from me, but I don't know what, and I'm liking this," I hugged them both to me, "too much to play guessing games."

"Do you understand that while I've spoken with every authority I can, anyone I trust who might have knowledge about this, I am treading unknown ground?"

My brow furrowed a little at the idea that other people might know about my... issues. "Who'd you ask?"

"Sister Siobhan. Canta through her. Loki, Sigyn, and Conrad. I would ask ask Doctor Glass as well, but not without your permission."

I wanted to nod, but couldn't be arsed to move my fuckin' head. "Oh. Yeah, Doc Z and Doc Glass are good people. Ask away, and yeah, I get that you're making this shit up as you're going along."

"Thank you. If I find the opportunity I will. Now, do you want to know what I know and suspect?"

I took a deep breath. "You really think it will make it harder for you to unfuck me?"

She Grinned her most lopsided grin at me. "Since I became aware of this when I was literally trying to fuck you, sort of the opposite, but yes, love, I think it would indeed make it harder to do what I'm going to try."

I shrugged. "I trust you. I trust you with everything I have, everything I am." I smiled at her. "I'm putty in your hands." I paused a moment. "You really think you can get rid of whatever that fucked up shit that's happening with boy you gone?"

"I hope so. With me as a man, with Sister Siobhan, with whoever else you choose to partake of."

I laughed. "You make it sound like I'm gonna fuck the eastern seaboard." Her eyelids fluttered shut for a moment, and a tiny whine escaped her. "Holy shit, you want me to fuck everybody in the Alliance or something?"

She smirked. "It would rather ensure their loyalty."

I snorted. "I've tried me. I'm not that good."

She laughed aloud, backed up by the Maenad at my back. "Agree to disagree."

I still felt some kinda way, nascent guilt welling up. "Are you two really that tired of me already?"

"NO!" Marie barked out from behind me.

Saffron turned me to face her, one hand on each of my cheeks. "No. No, love, a thousand times no. But... if you were the only one who'd been served chili the other night, would you have wanted me to try it?"

"Duh. Yeah."

"If you had enough to go around, would you have shared with everyone in the room?"

"Sure. I eat a lot, though, so..."

She Grinned at me. "I'm well aware." She paused, deliberately wriggling and sighing. "So well aware. My point, really. Would you share Marie's chili with everyone in the Alliance if you could?"

"That's sounding like a very loaded question. Also, not with Oliver. Asshole."

Suddenly playful serious, she said, "even if with a taste, you could steal him away from Ares, bind him to you, and grind that fact in Ares' face until you rend the Warmaker asunder in your rapacious maw?"

I giggled. "Sounds like you've polished the pearl thinking about Ares' demise, Kitten." She just Grinned. "Holy shit, I'd say 'dark much', but I know you, and that's a stupid fuckin' question. Next question?"

"What I intend may be confusing, disturbing, even painful. Please, forgive me for that."

I shook my head. "No need, Kitten. I trust you. If this is The Way, this is The Way."

"Do you still want to go through with this? Is this what you want?"

I thought about that, lying there in the dark. Finally I whispered, "I don't even know what's wrong, really, or what you're going to do. How do I know if anything is what I want?" Saffron went to speak, and I curled my fingers around her lips, and she fell silent, cuddling up against me. I took a deep breath. "Do you think this is what I would want if I knew? Do you think that when you're done, I... all of us will be happier than we are now?"

I uncurled my fingers from in front of her lips. "Yes, love. Yes, Tabitha, I do. The only tiny flaw in our happiness is this hobble that keeps you from filling yourself with joy unbound."

I nodded, took another breath, and said, "so do it. Everything. Run me through the full course of treatment. If you need to, get her to hold me down and force me. No safe words, no escape clauses. Do it."

Saffron winced. "How can I know then when something is too much? I want to help you, not break you."

I smiled at her. "I trust you." Brushed my lips across hers. "Don't break your favorite toy, Kitten. It's the only me I've got."

She leaned in, crying, and kissed me. Long, slow, gentle. I let her lead, mentally vowing to stay that way until she was done with whatever she intended to do. When she finally pulled away, I asked, "how will I know when you're done with this whole process, by the way?"

Mischief banished her sadness, even as her cheeks still glittered with remnants of tears. "Oh, I think you'll know."

I threw a hand across my forehead. "Lost in a sea of confusion already!"

She tilted her head. "This is different from normal how?" While I laughed, the her helping the kids to bed took my hand and collapsed me back to the Shack. "As I remain persistently Mortal, I will need a full night of sleep before tomorrow. So I leave you in the ever capable claws of our wife to be," she pulled Marie over for a kiss, then lay our Maenad's claw across my breast. "No sleep for you, my love. No relief, either, I'm afraid."

I sat up, waved at Marie, banished Glowing Midnight, waved at her again, and looked at Saffron with my most exaggerated 'what about this though' look. She smiled and shook her head, and I flopped back on the bed, staring at myself and my wives in the ceiling mirror. My hands might have thought about creeping southward, but Marie's claw clamped over them and she waggled a finger in front of my face, grinning like the cat who inherited the cream factory. "No."

"Thank you, Marie." She kissed Marie, a long lingering thing I got to watch from two different angles. Three when I tilted my head back to see the headboard. Four if I squinted and twisted my head just right to see the one on the far wall. I think I was beginning to see what the two of them saw in mirrors. Like a sexy scavenger hunt, or pornographic where's Waldo or some shit. "Be good... no, be as bad as she'll let you be, Goof." She kissed me, and was gone.

My beloved Wife to be, Concubine, lover, Maid, Master of all things associated with Wifedom, and favorite tiger-lady obeyed my Kitten in every particular. At some point long, long after I'd lost track of unimportant things like clothes, inhibitions, names, the concept of time, and even the idea of thankfulness about not being able to lose control of my bladder, Marie tilted her head, kissed me very gently on one hypersensitive cheek, and said, "time to go."

With that she stood up, dragging me to my feet as she did. Another of her, this one in full Maid garb, arrived and scooped me into a princess carry. The two of them stepped me to the empty, silent, oddly damp bathroom and slowly, gently, and carefully scrubbed me clean, then lifted me out and dried me off. At no point did they let me have control of my own hands. Probably for the best, because I sure as shit wasn't thinking about Saffron's carefully laid plans at that point.

When they had me clean, dry, and dressed up in my best, nicest, nicer than any I remembered owning Uniform, naked Marie pulled my hands behind my back and lifted me up for Maid Marie to take me into her arms, my hands carefully held in hers. Then she leaned over, kissed me on the forehead, murmured, "vlickies" and disappeared.

Right about then I realized that the doors into the office and bedroom were open. The very empty bedroom. Before I could think too much about that, Marie headed for the office door. That reminded me immediately that a seven foot plus tiger lady could put on some serious speed without moving faster than a determined walk. Then she cleared the door into the empty living room and took off at a run. The walls blurred, and then we were airborne as she leapt right over the rail without so much as jostling me. She twisted as we fell, and slipped her arms out of the way for me to land, hands finally free, right in my chair.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

The smell hit me before my eyes even focused. Savory, spicy, somehow even managing to get the tiniest tang of salt into the air. Hunger is hunger. Appetite is appetite. The first handful of spicy eggs, which had jalapeno scrapple scrambled into it, rammed into my mouth even as my other hand scrabbled for my spoon. Then an absolute avalanche of sound hit me. Dozens of voices, most of them squeaky, screaming at the top of their lungs.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

I froze, my gaze darting around the room, taking in the ROTC crew, the kids, Grandma Aetos, Siobhan, Conrad, even Loki and Sigyn standing in the crowd, all starting to sing a gloriously off key yet joyous high volume rendition of the birthday song. Right about then I realized that despite a grin etching itself across my face, my right hand had remembered its priorities and crammed another load of nom into my mouth. I paused. my nomming for just an instant, looking around, wishing I could tell them just how much this meant to me.

Go on, Goof. Eat up. It's your birthday. You're supposed to enjoy yourself!

I swallowed, laughed out loud at the pure joy of everything in that moment, said, "thanks guys. Thank you. I mean it, I really... I can't tell you how much... I love you guys. Thank you."

Saffron looked at me from her place across the table and said, "I think I'll let Marie speak for all of us with the oldest Mother's 'I love you' there is."

I looked around, then directly over my head where Marie leaned over me, lowering a full platter of steaming sausages to just within reach. "Eat."

While everybody laughed at that, and the kids snuck around to steal bits of my eggs, I went to town on eggs, on scrapple, on sausage. I noticed a small pile of presents over on the table where Saffron's had stood, but she shook her head and said, "later, love. I know you, and you'll open one, want to play with it, take forever to open the next one, and it will be sunset before you get through the pile. We have an itinerary today. Places to go, people to see, things to do." Some of those might even get mixed up a little.

I nommed, alternating between scooping and savoring until fire and herbs saturated my mouth, at which point I looked around at the folks who had been chatting and noshing on hors d'oeuvres, catching their eyes, and when I had at least a little bit of everybody's attention, I went to town just cramming every bit of everything into my mouth as fast as I could. A couple people looked a little scandalized, and I managed to get a blush out of Siobhan when I looked her right in the eye as I crammed, swallowed, and waggled my eyebrows at her. I think at some point Marie may have slipped another tray of mixed protein awesomeness in front of me, because there were definitely bacon bits in this batch. Sooner than I'd hoped, I picked up the tray and licked the bits off it. When I set it down, Marie set the greasy sausage tray atop it, then held out an extra big baguette looking loaf of black bread.

I reached out to take it, but she gripped it with two claw tips at each end, holding it over the tray, and said, "Slice."

I grinned, held out my fingers like fuckin' Palpatine, and extruded dozens of hair thin parallel Mana Blades. I brought them all down at once, and the loaf floated down into the grease as wafer thin toast chips. I think I might have nipped Marie's claw tips, but she didn't say anything, just took hold of the tray and shook it until the chips soaked up the grease, then set it in front of me. I looked around and said, "you guys gotta try these. But I'm not, like, slowing down, so get while the getting's good if you want to get some."

I may have slowed down enough to let each of the kids to get a handful. Sped right the fuck back up when a certain Menace, once all her friends and siblings had a handful, returned for seconds. Before I knew it, Marie handed me the two toasted heels of the bread and nodded at the thin layer of grease on the tray. I stood, wiped it as clean as I could, shoved one in my mouth, then turned around and fed her the other one. I think she had some kind of mild objection. She was on duty, or she was supposed to feed me, or something else that didn't fucking matter right at that moment. I stared into her slit pupiled eyes and begged, will you make me scream now?

Patience, Vlickies.

"I am the soul of patience." I then proceeded to follow proper cat pilling procedure by pushing that toast down her throat, then massaging the front of her throat. Proper procedure is to use your tongue to push the pill and to massage the throat, right? Never had a cat before.

Plenty of cheering and laughing at me kissing her, surprisingly unquieted when I moved to kissing her neck, but then she scooped me up again.

Saffron stepped over to us. "We'll be back in the evening, everyone."

We Co-Located, and if I'd been stunned by the sound in the dining room, the absolutely unhinged cheering when Marie dropped me to my feet left me standing there, stunned. New Amsterdam. Newark. Norfolk. Calverton, both the docks and the rear deck of the Black Dragon. The crowd in the park in front of the Academy filled the air with cheers and outright screaming approbation. Camden Yards. Oh, God, the Yards was a wall of sound from every direction. Walls of sound, of cheering, of joyous, ecstatic Worship.

These, Daughter, are your people. Not even Mimic's. Yours. It has not happened often, and I don't remember a case in Europa, that an Avatar has claimed a Domain of their own. Never that I have heard of has one had Domains thrust upon them.

I what? Domains?

Perhaps enough for a proper Portfolio, and in truth, I could not be prouder, Daughter.

I stood there, stunned by the unending wave of sound and worship. I think I made some kind of helpless interrogative noise in my brain.

Some you no doubt know. One you claimed. Others... those are the ones that make me so proud I can barely speak, daughter. Bloodlust. Justified Homicide. Vengeance. Passion. Ecstasy. He paused, sounding choked up even as he forced the last word into my mind. Children.

Children?

Playmate. Protector. Healer. Defender. Avenger. Where you are, not only are all Children safe, even those of your direst enemy, but nothing that would do them harm will ever be.

Be what?

Safe.

I stood there, the stupid grin I'd had when I realized what was on my plate reconquering my face inch by inch until it hurt. I threw my hands in the air, and nearly stumbled as the screaming cut off like I'd thrown a switch. Amplifying my voice, I screamed out the name of each City as loud as they'd screamed it at me, then, "People of the Alliance! My People! My Peeps! I..." I broke down a little bit. What a fuckin' thing, y'know? For the leftover kid, the shit wrecker, the one whose core competency was scaring people off, no matter how much I wanted them to stay. Then... this. "I love you all!"

Yeah, I kinda lost their silence at that point. Fuck it. Worth.

Saffron stood on tiptoe to whisper in my ear, "I'd planned on having a bit of a lunchtime celebration, but delivery seems to be a bit difficult, even in the military camps. No one wants to leave sight of you for long enough to go get food." She pushed something into my hands. "But even seeing you eat with them symbolically might be nice."

I looked down at what she'd shoved into my hands. A covered crock, warm in my hand and reeking of chili. A spoon. A six inch loaf of cornbread covered by a folded over piece of paper. I looked up at the crowd, who still cheered, but some of them already looked on curiously as I scanned the crowd. I knew what I wanted to do. Some cranky part of me thought it might be blasphemous or some shit, but... Fuck it. He could bill me for use of his IP if he didn't like it.

Murder Mittens? Stand ready at the chili cauldrons.

Which?

All of them.

I stepped, split, stepped, split, stepped, split. Buoyed by a wall of sound and worship I felt like I could almost walk on, powered by a handful of me dropped to M-Space to pull Mana from Mimic directly, I danced through the crowds, tens of thousands of me hopping back and forth from M-Space to the Mortal Realm. I didn't actually use the massive cauldrons of chili or the racks and racks of bread. Fair's fair. Mimic got those. Stupid fatass ate the cauldrons, too, but fuck it. Every step back to the Mortal realm I handed over more chili and cornbread until all of me stood there, looking around, unable to find a single empty hand. I collapsed all of me back to the stages, handed chili and cornbread to my wives, and hollered, "let's eat!"

About halfway through my crock, a big old grumbly voice behind me muttered, "stealing my Domain now."

I couldn't let that stand, even as a mumble. I turned, handing my bowl to Marie, stepped, and leapt. I couldn't span his waist with my legs. Hell, I wound up kinda sitting on his belly, my arms around his neck. "I think you mean our Domain." Then I kissed him. Definitely not a 'brotherly' kiss, except maybe in the 'why won't you take the hint, step-brother' kind of way. I pulled away, grinning, as his lips curved into a smile.

"So it's to be Reveling in the streets for all?"

"Fuck it, why not?" I slipped down just a little, and a frustratingly familiar feeling gripped my guts. "Have fun!" I stepped aside, and Marie took over for me as some of the crowd definitely took that as a sign that today was definitely a Revel day. I mean, they'd already been getting handsy as I stepped through the crowd, but that was more in a 'can I touch the Champion' way, not a 'can I fuck the Champion' way.

At that point I noticed the hooded, blindfolded woman standing behind D, and with my lack of proximity to temptation, my hesitation evaporated and euphoria returned. I stepped up to her, pulled her gently down to her knees, and drew the hood of her cloak over me until she could see nothing but me when I slipped her blindfold down around her throat. She winced, and I did unto her as I'd done unto Dionysus. When I pulled back, she looked at me with utter confusion. "This is the Good Ending for you, Artemis." She froze. "This is what happens when you live up to who you should be. Love. Not fear. Adoration, not hatred. Now," I touched the blindfold. "This may stay off until your brother says the Revel is done, if you want to participate."

She grimaced. "I... desire not the company of men."

I rolled my eyes, kissed her again, this time gently. "Hey, you've got your looks back. If you can't find enough girls who kiss girls in this crowd to forge yourself an impenetrable bastion of girl flesh too thick for even Zeus' cock to get through it, you're not fuckin' tryin'. Or not tryna fuck." I paused a second, thoughtful. "Which is fine too. I'm pretty sure my boy Conrad would be totally put off by the whole thing. But you do you, boo. Or find some ladies for mutual doing. Or just get too drunk to tell and go with the flow. Just, so long as everybody's having fun? You can keep that off. It goes back on when the Revel's over, got it."

"As you say it, Mistress, let it be so."

"Good." I gave her a peck on the cheek, then threw her hood back. The crowd erupted into more cheers, and I returned to my wives, who'd finished eating. Saffron gave me the universal spouse-speak, 'time to go' nod, and I jumped to face the crowd, arms up. They quieted, and I called out, "I think my wife is gonna go scold me about how much this Revel is gonna wind up costing." I waited half a breath, and just as confused maybe fake grumpy mutters started to happen, continued. "I love me the way she scolds, so I'd love to stay with you all, but, y'know, sorry, I'm not missing the tiniest slice of this," I lifted Saffron up with one arm under her ass. "Or this," I did the same to Marie, who clung to me, her ankles locking behind Saffron. "prime quality cheesecake for all the fuckin' fuckin' in the world."

We stepped back to the Love Shack to another wave of cheering, laughter, and Worship.

"Fucking finally." I pushed Marie against the wall and kissed her. "And finally, fucking." I turned to Saffron, only for her to grab my head with both hands. "Please?" I whined. The room tilted as hormones and horniness and power and lust and euphoria rolled me around like bourbon in a snifter.

"Obey," she whispered gently. "Set us down." I gently set first Marie, then Saffron, on the bed. "Close your eyes." They slid shut, obedient to the will of my tiny beloved dictator. "Take my hand." I reached out, and her hand slid into mine.

She stepped us somewhere shaded. Her hand felt huge in mine. Not huge, just... the same size as mine. A cool breeze pebbled my naked skin. In the far distance, I heard the crowd noise of a Revel in progress. "Do nothing until I say otherwise." I nodded, the world still rolling around me as Worship kept flowing into me despite distance, despite time, despite sanity or lack thereof. She led me by the hand into a darker, cooler room. With my eyes closed, I couldn't tell if it was dark or not. She led me further, to kneel on a bed, to crawl across it, to straddle something warm. Someone. Someone very definitely a guy. A guy she carefully positioned. I whimpered just a little. Something rustled in front of me, skin on fabric, skin on skin.

You want it so much, don't you? I whimpered. You can say it.

I do. I do, but I... I shouldn't... that feeling tickled, tried to surface, tried to push away the layers on layers of euphoria and lust buoying me.

See with my eyes. Hear with my ears. Taste with my tongue, feel with my flesh.

I did, and saw Saffron Rae, her eyes closed, her hands loose at her sides. I reached out, doing not thinking, my hands against her cheeks rough where she pulled me to her. Her eyes slid open, and I saw Saffron Rae kissing me, me kissing Saffron Rae who for the barest of moments, had Saffron's eyes. For a moment, over her shoulder, I saw Saffron Rae lying on her side across the bed, head propped on one hand, her other hand reaching out, fingers reaching up to slid teasingly across the curve of my ass. Her ass. Saffron's ass?

Fuck... I want... the world spun twice over, and I could barely keep myself upright, above the cock pressed against me. Lined up by my wife. Arranged, like all of this, for the delight and anticipation that flowed through us from her.

Then take. It would be so, so easy. Just relax.

I shouldn't... tendrils of guilt, of shame, of fear reached for me.

My wife's voice echoed through our skull. I see no Tabitha here. Only Saffron Rae, about to enjoy an evening with her husband.

That made so much more sense. I relaxed.

We sat in the breakfast nook in the kitchen of Saffron Rae and Raymond's kitchen sipping tea. "Your Raymond has both impressive Endurance and Skills. You're a lucky woman, Saffron Rae."

Saffron Rae smiled demurely. "I prefer to think I have chosen wisely."

I laughed at that. "Damn Skippy. That man's got him some moves."

Flickers of guilt smoked. Later, love. Later for that. For now, afterglow. Focus on that pleasant ache we share.

She had that right. Thighs. Between them. Breasts. Abs. Oh, yeah, holding some of those positions made the abs ache, but so fuckin' worth it. For some odd reason my ankles ached. For an entirely un-odd reason, my hair ached. Not quite my thing normally to have somebody grab up the entire thick braid I didn't have and use it to guide my face, but I'm sure Marie had done it at some point too. Never in quite that position, but still, familiar and oh, so pleasant ache.

"Thank you. Happy Birthday, Champion."

Wait, was this my birthday present? I mean, a birthday present?

We did just use her husband for hours until he collapsed, love.

I'm sure I saw her... wait... was that... was that you, or me, or...

Later.

I let go, let my tiny terrible delightful dictator tell me what was worth fussing over and what wasn't. My euphoria hadn't really faded. Shit, Worship still poured in. Fuck, it had been pouring in the entire time, some of it from very close proximity. I think there might have been sudden sharp spikes of slutty Sapphic Worship at times, even.

"I really should be thanking you two, you realize?"

I shot her a quizzical look. "Whut? You don't like riding him hard and putting him away sweat soaked?"

She laughed, "oh, that can be fun, although I could take it or leave it. No, I meant that the limits of your Boon, the ones you told me of, mean that I suspect he always knows which of me I'm... focused on at any given time."

Saffron took a sip of tea and quietly said, "I find Skills can overcome most of that problem."

Saffron Rae made a moue of distaste. "I suppose, but... I'm not a courtesan. What would people think if I went to them to learn such things?"

I laughed out loud. "Or you could just ask somebody else who has them."

"A Maenad, perhaps?"

I nodded. "Oh, shit, sure, I'm sure any of them could and would. Hell, invite one over, I'm sure you can find one who will step you through everything with simple instructions. Or... y'know... Just ask the Imperator."

She blinked, and Saffron nodded and said, "of course. We need to be going, but simply send word when you've time to study up on the requisite Skills."

We stood in the Love Shack, again fully dressed. Marie sat on the divan, doing some knitting. Maze's onesie pajamas were almost done. I kissed Saffron, savoring the lingering tastes of her and not her on her lips before I said, "y'know she might want some advice on shit like, I dunno, blow jobs."

"I'm aware."

I stopped, looked down. "How the... who..." She looked down my front, running her fingers up my thigh. "We did that once! Once!"

"I have become very proficient at gaining Skills."

I giggled, laughed, then sighed. "So. Am I cured yet?"

She sighed and hugged me. "I doubt it." Suddenly he stood there, pulled me down for a kiss. Neurons, both good and bad, activated.

I pulled away. "Shit."

"Was it as bad?"

I opened my mouth, then stopped. "Maybe not? I don't know? Wait... shit, are you doing some kind of exposure therapy to me?"

She sighed. "I'd hoped you wouldn't realize yet." She looked me in the eye. "Could you fuck Raymond again, the way we just did?" I stood there, mouth open. "With my permission and Saffron Rae's of course?" I shook my head, more out of confusion than anything. "As Saffron Rae?"

Before I could think the words, "I might not need to do that oh shit did it work a little?"

Saffron smiled up at me. "It looks like it might have, love."

"So where do we go from here?"

"From here, I inch you forward, bit by bit, feeding you your every wicked fantasy, one at a time, with every bit of encouragement and support Marie and I can muster, until..."

I swooned a little, saying, "until?"

She pushed me back onto the bed, straddled my legs, buried her hands in my hair, looked so deep into my eyes I could see her fuckin' Soul, then washed over me so I saw my own eyes echoed in hers and vice versa, felt how the girth of my waist where her knees bracketed it made her ache to be done with clothes and words and everything but skin and wet and fur and flesh and passion and pain and pleasure and she pulled back just far enough and growled, "until I bury myself to the hilt in you while you scream my name hard enough to shake the pillars of heaven, scatter the clouds, send ripples through the seas, and shatter earth itself."

"I... did you come just saying that?"

Without letting go of me, she giggled, Grinned, and said, "no you."

I glanced at Marie, then back to Saffron. "Sex now?"

She smiled. "Tonight, once the children are all to bed, we'll come back here for a private celebratory Revel of our own. With or without more... therapy. Entirely up to you. But yes, oh, yes, my love, we will, on this, the day we celebrate the day you were born."

I realized something just then. "Did you pick this day at random then?"

"No, love. On the world of your birth it is, indeed, August first. Your birthday."

"Did I tell you that?" I thought about it. "I did, didn't I?" She nodded. "You remembered."

"I did." I melted, and she had Marie carry me down to the dining room.

We had chicken and waffles for dinner. I got way more than last time, at least in part because people started throwing whole chicken tendies for me to catch and nom.

I got a cake! I got a cake of my very own! Plus like, all the bits of the big one for everybody that the kids didn't steal!

Cheesecake, of course. Saffron and Marie collaborated to steal the recipe. Don't know if it's quite old world cheesecake. Don't care. My cheesecake makes best cheesecake. Fuck your cheesecake.

No, really. Mine really like it.