Dear Diary,

Thinking about what Saffron said, and it's got me all out of sorts. On the one hand, it makes sense to have Batman's bright yellow bat symbol right over the only really inflexible hard piece of armor he's wearing. Same goes for our Homestead; if we're gonna be the only fortress out at this particular ass end of nowhere, and there are monsters actively attracted to human settlements, attracting those monsters to us rather than maybe letting them wander past us to someplace less well guarded just makes sense.

On the other hand, this is where my fuckin' kids live. My precious babies that must be protected at all costs. My cute little Daya and David, my clever Maze and talented Ria, my little nature buff Lindsey and wannabe Hero Alex, not to mention my Menace, who let's face it is probably more dangerous than anything we're gonna wind up luring to us. Honestly, if Ria's had anything like as much training with a spear as her brother had with his Mana Blade, she might not be totally unprotected her own self. Okay, the more I think about this, the more our less than dangerous kids are the minority of our rug rats. But that still doesn't matter. I think my whole ascent to where I am now really started with me putting my shit on the line to protect my Menace, and I'm not gonna stop protecting her just because she's more dangerous than most of the stuff I'm protecting her from.

Speaking of our little bundle of joy, the whole reason I wound up pushing to get us back here by yesterday hadn't changed. I fell asleep in the Bath, and woke up as Saffron landed atop me on the Bed. Before I could ask her why, she answered my question and removed my ability to speak. On the other hand, squish thighs keep ears warm. Warm fuzzy Mittens and cool Ice Pop joining in shortly after playing with temperature and texture was nice too.

As we all lay there after I thought to check the sunrise. Not for at least another hour or so. "What brought this on?"

"Complaints?"

"Not a damn one."

Saffron smirked at my answer, then said, "I told you that you wouldn't be angry when I woke you out of a sound sleep."

I couldn't help it, a giggle escaped me before I asked, "so, is this your new solution to our Dire Bear problem?"

She made a whole show of thinking about it, tapping at her teeth with one fingernail while the other two snickered. "No. No, I don't think we'll be Worshipping Dire Bears "

"Oh, is that what that was?"

She just leaned over me, almost distracting me from her answer. "Do you feel up to following through with the birthday celebration today?"

I opened my mouth to answer, then realized that I did, in fact, feel pretty fuckin' good. I blushed a little when I said, "You guys didn't have to do..." I couldn't finish the statement. Breasts. Not Saffron's. She'd grabbed Siobhan and muffled me with her. Then whispered in my ear. "Which is exactly why we didn't tell you about this little plan. All of us had time to rest."

Marie didn't.

"Plenty." contradicted Marie.

"So, ready to entertain our ever growing horde of children?"

I hammed up my own consideration of her question, then said, "just one more?"

I forgot exactly how Skilled my ladies are. We got back down before the kids woke up. Even after two more 'just one more's.

The four of us watched our little ones wake up. Daya and Lindsey both kind of blinked themselves awake and sat up, stretching. Ria and Maze both reminded me a little of Marie, lying there almost like they were still asleep; I only realized they were awake when they murmured something back and forth to one another. Alex was a little like Menace, who did the extended boot up, not unlike Saffron. Once those two finally finished waking up, I cleared my throat and got all of them looking at me.

"So. Who knows what day it is today?"

I'd been looking at Menace, who blinked, looked at her fingers like she was counting something, then looked back up at me and said, "Fweyday?"

You didn't remind her? Saffron just giggled in my head.

Something must have shown on my face, because the rest of the kids started agreeing with Isnomi. All except Maze, who looked at me with a cheeky wink and grin and said, "Friday."

Ria, of course, raised her hand, and when I nodded at her, said, "Isnomi's birthday?"

For the slightest of moments you could have heard a pin drop, even on our well padded bed. Then Isnomi crowed out, "Birfday!" and pandemonium erupted.

I let it go on for a little bit while the four adults in the bed just watched. Before anything could get weird, what with the other kids not having a big celebration this year, I cut in. "Okay, girls, we've got a full itinerary today, so let's get a move on. Upstairs to potty, then down to breakfast, then back up to get cleaned up and dressed."

Ria head tilted a little. "Why back upstairs after breakfast?"

"Because I'm pretty sure none of you are gonna be completely clean after breakfast cake."

At the mention of cake, all of them leapt out of bed and rushed for the Bore. Good kids; they followed directions and hit the toilet before breakfast. They all even remembered to wash their hands in the little basin, too. By the time they all finished and Isnomi led the charge back to the Bore, Marie and I had the cake set up in the dining room. Not unlike last year, Marie had a monster of a cake ready, only this time instead of mostly going to Cadets, it mostly went to the women, who filed through to wish our littlest a happy birthday, not to mention getting themselves some cake.

While Isnomi waited impatiently, sitting at my normal seat, I plonked my own ass down where she normally sat, then pulled Saffron into my lap at the first opportunity. "She does that a hell of a lot more naturally than me," I murmured into her hair.

"You're better at it than you'd think, love. Oh, certainly, you're not so blasé about it, but I think that just endears you to them even more. You make each of them feel special."

I wrapped my arms around her and just enjoyed the smell of her. "Yeah, I don't even know half of their names. Shit, probably even less than that."

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

She just chuckled, half turning to put her arms around me. "Even just wanting to is more than most do, love. They see that. They know that. Also, we might want to join that little procession eventually."

"Why?"

"How else are we going to get our cake?"

I let my hands drift downward as I leaned in for a kiss. "My favorite cake is already in my lap."

I don't often get to make my Kitten blush, but I do love it when I do. When I heard murmurs of 'silly' from a certain birthday girl, I got up and wandered over to get cake for myself and Saffron. Then brought it back and fed both pieces to her.

While I did that, once everybody at the Homestead had their slice of cake, including our visitors, the girls proved that messy eating habits aside, none of them had cake on them by the time they were done. Mostly because they licked the frosting and crumbs off one another's faces like a little pack of kittens. I might have felt some kinda way about that, except it was clearly 'little kids being little kids, led by one who was half feral'. They also got a little cranky when they still had to go up and wash up. Showers, at least. Because I didn't think 'face full of kid drool' was much better than 'face full of frosting', especially with us all going out.

When I told them they all needed to put on their nicest outfits, Ria asked, "where are we going?"

"Your mom's place, to start with."

Of course led by David, who put on his full ballerina onesie before anybody could stop him, the rest all got their onesies as well. Okay, Maze got her pony, Alex got her armor, and Lindsey got her camo. I sat there feeling some kinda way about the other three not having them yet, although watching Ria help Menace with her uniform was super cute. Then Marie stepped up to Ria and laid a hand on her shoulder. When Ria turned, Marie held out a onesie that shone with the glossy black of a raven's wing. The wings on the back and the beak on the hood were absolutely perfect.

I turned to look at little Daya, only to find Marie tucking her into a onesie that absolutely glittered. Sequins. So. Many. Sequins. Where'd you get all those?

Marie just smiled softly up at me. Yule.

Menace, with all the tact and sensitivity I'd expect from a two year old, asked, "wheyah's mine?" At which point Marie leaned over, picked her up by the jacket, and then bounced her like that once or twice. "Oh!"

"Scamp."

Menace just folded her arms across her little chest. "Goddeth."

"Same."

While they all admired each other's outfits, I Co-Located to Conrad's Workshop. "Son?"

His fingers slipped over my shoulders, and if I spoiled my involuntary flinch by leaning my cheek against one of them, he didn't seem to mind awfully. "Mother Dearest!"

"Is everything ready?"

"Of course."

I nodded. "Would you like to come along and show them how to use everything?"

He shrugged, "I'm sure young Ria knows the basics of how to put tack on a Steed."

"True, but the rest don't, and they really ought to thank you, right?"

He thought about that for a second. "Of course, Mother." Then he pointed at a big fuckin' case. "I'm afraid that full tack and saddle for seven Steeds isn't exactly light."

I sighed, then nodded. "The good is never easy, the easy never good." I grabbed each end of the case by its handle, having to stretch a little as I did. "You need a ride, or?"

"I'll meet you there."

I stepped the tack case down to the stables in the Overlord's Keep, then collapsed back into myself as all eleven of us stepped down to Tallulah's hall. She looked up from where she'd been meeting with her first few petitioners of the day. "Imperator. Champion. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hey Tallulah. Isnomi's birthday today, so we figured we'd come down and collect those Steeds taking up space in your stables."

The folks in the room all kinda shuddered at that, the Fae not much less than the non-Fae. Then they all looked more than a little shook when she stood, bowed her head ever so slightly, and very clearly curtsied at our itty bitty Primordial terror. "Menace."

Points to Isnomi for taking after Saffron and not being an absolute loss when it came to social things. She bowed and replied, "Ovuhwowd."

With that, Ria led us out to the stables. As I brought up the rear, I thought, can you join us for dinner?

She maybe sounded a little surprised, but Tallulah rallied and replied, of course.

When we got to the stables, Conrad opened the big case, stepped over to Ria, and asked, "pardon, sister, but could you assist me in showing your sisters how to properly equip your Steeds with this?"

I considered it a massive personal achievement that not once in the following unintentional comedy of errors did I consider laughing. Like, not Conrad and Ria. She kinda knew what she was doing, and he of course knew exactly how to get the tack he'd made onto the not-horses. But the rest of them only had a vague idea at best, but the fact that things literally named 'Nightmares' weren't even in the top three in terms of 'scary things' in the room. Funniest of all for me, they knew that, and stood there looking like mannequins unless someone tried to move them. At which point they fuckin' moved exactly as they were prompted to.

An hour later, more or less, each of the kids was mounted on the steed Ria had picked out for them. Pretty much tied into the saddle, because as always Conrad knew how safety conscious we were, and the Nightmares themselves weren't stupid enough to try any rolling shit with one of Menace's sisters aboard. I looked around at the adults and said, "so, we'll see you guys at home for dinner?"

Saffron looked up at me. Are you sure about this, love?

C'mon. They'll love it.

They will. My nerves may not. Take Marie with you?

I looked over at Marie, who simply replied, "Yes."

With that, I nodded, gave Saffron and Siobhan both a quick smooch, gave Conrad a quick hug and a quiet, "thanks, son," then Co-Located to each of the Nightmares, laid a hand on their shoulders, and stepped us all to M-Space.

Five pairs of eyes got really big. Seven more squeezed shut for a moment before opening again, like the steeds hadn't really believed they'd get back here any time soon. "Okay, everyone. Follow Marie, I'll bring up the rear. Call out if you need a break."

Lead on, Murder Mittens.

So we ran. At first, Marie kept to a gentle loping run across fields of Fae Grain interspersed with tentacles. Once we cleared those fields, she dropped to all fours and poured on the speed. The Nightmares kept up with her, the girls absolutely shrieking with delight, even David and Daya. Not long after that, we hit some wooded hills, and she rose right up into the air, the Nightmares following right along. David's shriek sounded a little less delighted, so I landed my butt on the rump of his Nightmare.

"You okay, buddy?"

David nodded, but definitely had a white knuckled grip on the reins. I slipped my hands around David's, my arms going around as well. I rode like that for a while as we slowly slipped behind the rest. After a bit, I Translocated us back up to the middle of the pack, at which point David's screams got way less frightened and way more excited. From that point forward, I hopped from Nightmare to Nightmare, checking to make sure all of the girls were doing okay. Finally, as I saw the glimmer of the tip of the West Tower, I hopped onto Murder Mitten's shoulders.

Thanks, Mittens.

Welcome, Vlickies.

We took one lap around the Tower, then came down to land in the courtyard. Mirroring what I'd done earlier, I Co-Located to each of them, then stepped us all back to the Mortal Realm. A moment later we all stood in the Courtyard. The women around us turned and, despite some serious tension in their gazes, waved and called out hellos. Hey Kitten?

Yes, love?

Where are we keeping these?

She laughed into my brain, then thought, the stables are under the courtyard, love. A moment later she stood before us, reaching up to take Ria's Nightmare's reins. For a moment it looked like it was going to balk, then Saffron gave it a look, and it chose the path of less pain and agony.

We walked the Nightmares around the courtyard a few times, each of them led by their girl, and then we went down the same ramp we'd led the livestock down when it arrived. Seemed kinda weird having our stables underground, but that's pretty much how they did it at Lancaster House. We spent the next while taking the tack off and hanging it on the walls of the stables. Then Murder Mittens showed up leading a short squad of women, each of them carrying an armload of Dire Bear meat. The women and girls put the meat where you'd normally put hay or stuff like that.

After that, it was in to the house for more cake. Lots more cake. Holy hell, the dinner and the cake. By the time the sun approached the horizon, the kids had been more or less bouncing off the walls for like an hour. Amusingly, Conrad had in fact joined us, seemingly enjoying the cake his own self. I sauntered over and leaned in. "Guess the gliders will have to wait for another day."

He tilted his head, and I saw him smile as every sphincter on my body clenched. "Oh, but Mother Dearest, why else would I have put lights on them all?"