Dear Diary,

Y'know, I remember reading an article back in the day that talked about how ADHD was on the rise, and then went on to blame it on social media and mobile devices. Like, I didn't even have social media or a mobile device until I hit junior high, and I assure you that I was ADHD as fuck well before that. It reminds me of another think piece I read about Autism Spectrum Disorder, where the writer, who identified as Autistic, talked about how autism diagnosis was on the rise, but that didn't mean that autism was more common; just that autistic people were struggling more with modern life than they had in the past, so they got diagnosed more. Thee writer talked about how they find repetitive tasks soothing, and said they'd churn the shit out of all the butter anybody could ever want, and watch sheep all day long, but the sound of electricity drives them bonkers, and walking down a street in a major metropolitan area was just fuckin' hellish for them.

I think that might be related with the ADHD thing. Like, when there's only two or three things I could possibly be doing, I might wind up being an airhead and doing the wrong one, or staring at the sky thinking about clouds, but give me a mobile device with six different social media feeds and I will never escape that shit until my battery dies. So I don't really think the mobile devices or social media were causing kids to 'get' ADHD so much as they were exacerbating or calling attention to the kids who might otherwise have just been a little flaky.

I mean, I'm not a trained psych professional. I'm just spitballing about the difference between then and now, where I'm an actual productive, valued, and even celebrated member of society. Like, I'm still ADHD as fuck. I'll think something is absolutely the highest priority in the world on Monday, and by Tuesday I'm off doing something else entirely because a crisis comes up or some similar shit, and then by Friday I've utterly forgotten whatever the important thing was. If something reminds me, whether it's something random that fires just the right neuron, or one of my ladies actually deliberately reminding me, or the thing itself sinking it's fangs into my posterior, I'll jump back onto the 'must do this now, it's a priority' bandwagon, but actually staying on task when something else bumps me off task is just not something I'm good at doing.

Yes, I can hyperfocus. But again, that's not me choosing to stay on task. That's my brain saying, 'serotonin in here, gotta get it' and not letting me let go of whatever I'm doing. If nothing distracts me, or I have big metaphoric or even actual neon post it notes flashing in front of my eyes when I'm not on task, I can get back on task and get shit done.

Holy shit, was that why I liked video games so much? Y'know, with the whole 'quest journal' and 'mission flags' and all the other fuckin' ways they had to tell me 'yo, dipshit, over here'. That might actually have been the fuckin' reason.

Oh, fuck, now I want to find an eminently bribable itty bitty Fae with some ability to remember shit and bribe them to sit on my shoulder and remind me of my current top priority every time I go off task. Like, yeah, eventually I'd yeet them into the sun, or hopefully just leave them behind at the Homestead, but seriously, that might fuckin' work.

Or I could just put myself into situations where there's just not all that much to distract me, and where the tasks to be done are super complex ones like, 'run west' and 'don't die'. Which the Cadets and I managed to do yesterday.

When I gave the order to set up camp, the Cadets immediately moved into that little copse the hunters had stayed in last time we camped here. I guess it really was a good spot, or at least the Cadets who'd dallied with Silk thought so. Ryan and Chloros claimed first sack time, and Ryan managed to stifle any complaints by digging into her tinker pack and coming out with bribery tier snacks. Pastry for Mackenzie, candy for Brown and Aetos, and some kind of jerky for O'Brien. Fuck it, I'd heard of worse ways to claim a watch, and she wasn't trying to buy off being on watch, just bribing her fellows to let her take the last one. Or to let her and Chloros get first dibs on the copse.

Now, last time we were here it seemed to fit four okay, but I wasn't gonna interfere unless something required it. Really, I leaned on my Blend just a little, because I wanted them to act like I wasn't there to keep watch all night and keep them safe as houses until they woke in the morning. Aetos and O'Brien had first watch, and I watched as Aetos set up a pretty solid Alarm Ward to help them spot anything that managed to avoid detection by the two of them. Brown and Mackenzie, who'd gotten what I considered the shittiest watch, middle watch, started a small fire with a Filtration Ward keeping the smoke in a tiny dome. They also had a ring of stones and shit to both keep the fire contained and keep the light mostly going straight up rather than illuminating the camp and killing everybody's night vision.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

All in all, it seemed like they'd learned from last time. Not so much 'learned because I taught them', but 'learned because I kept them alive through all the inconveniences they'd experienced, so they brought solutions this time'.

Funniest portion of the night was when Brown, who'd just finished eating, looked at Mackenzie and said, "you think they're done yet?"

Mackenzie shook her head and said, "whether they are or not, I'm tired. If they don't keep it down enough for me to sleep, I may smother them."

Brown just shook their head, laughed, and headed into the copse, totally making as much noise as possible without seeming like it. Mackenzie followed him a few moments later when no shrieks of partners caught in flagrante delicto emanated from the copse.

Some time in the middle of second watch I had a thought, one I couldn't remember if I'd had before. I don't remember if I learned this at the Academy or back at Eastside, but the Sacred Brotherhood of Thebes, which I do recall Doc DeLeon teaching us was the inspiration for Phileo's Heroic tradition, required members to be in an intimate relationship with at least one other member of the Brotherhood. Loki told me Potami and Velazquez were doing the horizontal mambo. Siobhan talked about having to report relationships and implied she wanted to make sure they weren't anathemic to the Cadets' Patrons. I'd always thought of that as kind of a 'heads up before shit burns down', or maybe putting the 'offenders' on some kind of list, but I just realized it may have just been confirming that yes, those particular Cadets, who would eventually be Heroes, had skin in the game when it came to keeping their fellow Heroes alive.

Yah, when it's cold as Laufey's taint and it's dark o'clock, dumb shit rolls through my brain.

During third watch I remembered something I'd wanted to check on, and everything seemed stupidly quiet, like not even any sounds in the forest, which made perfect sense what with it being, as noted, cold enough to make Ymir's cock shrivel, and most animals will hunker down and try to not become animalsicles at that point. So I Co-Located to Conrad's Workshop, just inside the door, and called out, "son? Do you have a minute?"

Of course he said, "for you, always, Mother Dearest," from right behind me. I turned around and gave him a big motherly hug, just to show him I loved him and his fondness for jump scares. Also he was warm, and 'can't get frostbite' isn't the same as 'enjoys being an ice sculpture'. He showed himself to be just as prone to doing the 'get it off' dance as any warm blooded creature when I did that, and I laughed and let him go.

"Thanks, son. The tack for the Nightmares is ready, right?"

"Of course. I've just been waiting for you to tell me when and where you need it."

I smiled at him. "I'm thinking the first thing we do on Menace's birthday is we take her and her sisters to pick up their new Steeds and ride them back to the Homestead."

He opened his mouth to comment, then got the unspoken part of my plan. "Oh, that should be delightful. I..."

"Go on?"

"I shouldn't, but... would you mind awfully if I moved my Workshop there?"

I shot him a grin. "I've been wondering if you wanted to or not."

He tilted his head from side to side. "Oh, the perpetual interruption of Menace and my quieter siblings might eventually drive me to close my door now and again, but I suspect proximity may eventually prove itself useful."

I nodded. "Let me double check with Saffron, but I'd love for you to move closer." He nodded. "Gliders will be ready then?" A smile and another nod. "One more thing; no rush, but I need it by New Year's." I explained what I wanted, while his grin got wider and wider.

"Of course, Mother. Consider it done."

"I know I could count on you, son." I gave him another quick hug, then collapsed back into myself.

Dawn found the Cadets rested and ready to move. Which we did, heading more or less southwest, following Closer's directions to his home. We made decent progress, even though me having to read the directions and the funky map and trying to figure out what Closer meant when he said stuff like, 'the grandfather oak' until Chloros pointed out a big honkin' tree with bare branches, which my brain hadn't registered as an 'oak' because it didn't have oak leaves or acorns. Because I am, as noted, an idiot. The snow wound up being even worse, because instead of heading over the ridges, we mostly moved straight along the valleys, occasionally shifting over to the neighboring valley when the ridge between them dipped into a saddle.

By the end of the day, we'd gone maybe half to two thirds the distance we had the previous day, and I still wasn't sure we were gonna find the place, because the final direction read 'go on a good distance, and you'll be there'. Fortunately, the same thing that showed us their location last time gave us a hint this time. A single plume of smoke rising into the sky, barely visible in the light of the setting sun.