Dear Diary,

Apparently I've kicked off a whole wave of 'we never thought of that' using shit for the Other Use, whether the safety label says it's recommended or not.

So yesterday Sister Siobhan gave me a physical mauling to match the spiritual one Loki gave me. Okay, not really. She's just over five feet tall, and couldn't be more than a buck twenty in her habit, sopping wet. Whereas my Patron is at least ten feet tall and while he's not built like a brick shithouse, he's certainly not runway model skinny. No real comparison.

Somehow that doesn't sound like I come out the better in your comparison.

Not even a better or worse thing; just sayin' you've got way more weight to throw around when you choose to throw it.

I see.

You're the best, Boss.

I know.

So in order to keep me from screwing up her work by walking to the Dining Hall, Sister Siobhan had my meals delivered to the Infirmary, and took it on herself to feed me after she'd 'eaten'. Yeah, that must be part of the reason she's so petite; she ate less than I would have for a midnight snack. Like, one small bowl of oatmeal with some desiccated fruit lying atop it for lunch, and half a loaf of black bread and about a quarter serving of salt-lick pork. Normal amounts of vegetables each time, so I wasn't worried about her dying of malnutrition or anything, but still. Isnomi ate more than that and she's not even a year old, for fuck's sake.

Oh, there's another note. The menace helped feed me each meal, and darted in at least once every half hour or so to cheer me on. Her usual method of doing so was toddling up to the low bed, where her eyes barely peeked over the surface, then once she got my attention reaching up and putting a hand on each of my cheeks and saying, "ya ga dis, Mama!" then scampering off to help somebody else.

"You'll tell me if she gets to be a nuisance, right Sister?" I asked after one of those visits.

She just laughed and kept doing what she was doing, which at the moment was bending my knee and twisting my legs to make my hips snap crackle pop. At least that's what it felt like, not like I could see over my own shoulder. "Of course, Tabitha. I just don't see it happening. She's like a little angel, raising everyone's spirits. A few of the Cured plague victims who needed more recuperation than could be provided in their homes. Some of them had just about given up hope until she started showing up and doing her little encouragement things. Not to mention that she's particularly good at fetching things for those who can't get up, or Grandma Aetos or I when our hands are full."

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I shook my head. "Precocious little scamp, isn't she?"

"I suppose so. I've never really thought about it before. Just how helpful she's been."

After that she went back to mauling me. When dinner time rolled around she wrapped up, fed me dinner, then said, "You've a pair of visitors before you go to sleep."

I rolled my head over to see Saffron standing there in Glowing Midnight, Isnomi sitting on one arm, with Marie standing behind them. "Hey Sister? Is it okay if I get up now?"

She clucked her tongue. "I'm sorry, but I'd really rather you used your large muscles as little as possible for the next twenty four hours."

I sighed, only to have Marie reach over and pick me up, rolling me over and sitting me up with my back against the 'head' of the cot; really just the wall they'd anchored it to. "Hey guys!"

Isnomi flailed at Marie's arm, then far more carefully grabbed her mom's chin. Finally she pointed at me and said, "I hep Mama!"

I laughed. "You did, Menace! You helped Momma and a bunch of the other folks here in the Infirmary."

Saffron looked suitably impressed, booping Isnomi's nose and saying, "I'm so proud of you, my girl!" Isnomi just ate it up, practically glowing at the praise.

Marie lifted Isnomi away from Saffron with her five-point-harness claw maneuver, turned the menace to look her in the eye, and said, "Good." If I'd thought she glowed before? Now she practically vibrated.

Saffron took the opportunity to sit down on the bed and lean into me. She put her arms around me, leaned against my chest, and said, "do I even want to know why you're naked?"

I chuckled. "Apparently clothing messes with the Sister's ability to unfuck me and my spine."

If she nipped at me a little, I probably deserved it for my choice of verb there. "You know the rules, Goof."

"I didn't Just Happen to the Sister or anyone else. If nothing else, the walls are literally curtains, and Isnomi is running around the room near constantly."

Isnomi, hearing her name, called out, "I hep! I hep!" from where she dangled from Marie's claw-harness.

Saffron sighed. "So you're really not up for anything?"

I shook my head. "Sorry. Can't do anything. Wish I could, but," I shrugged, then winced, because those are big muscles. "Sister Siobhan won't let me up to feed myself, let alone walk around or engage in hanky or panky." Saffron bent me forward and kissed my forehead. Kinda agonizing to my abs, but totally worth it. I looked over to Marie and said, "can I get a hug and some help back down?"

"So, trying to get rid of us so you can work your wicked wiles on the Sister?"

I laughed, "More that she's standing right behind you with that 'Tabitha needs her sleep' face."

Both Saffron and Sister Siobhan blushed at that. Saffron leaned up, whispered something in Siobhan's ear, which the Sister nodded to by way of reply. Saffron leaned back over to where Marie had, with one hand, picked me up and laid me on the bed. She kissed me, and the world went black.

I woke up a few times on Thursday, but for the most part? All I remember are dreams of lying by the lakeside. Chibi hibachi chef Saffron wasn't in evidence until after breakfast the following morning. I don't so much remember mealtimes as know they must have happened, although I might have been dreaming it even then.

Fuck it. Both my doctor and my god told me to sleep, and Saffron and Marie knew where I was; if anything went wrong, they'd take care of it.

Weird, knowing that if you wind up the damsel in distress, there will be a whole hunting party coming to save you.