Dear Diary,

Wait, so like I said, I'm already considering the impact my actions have on others, and now I'm starting to think about considering the impact they have on me.

Am I, like, Adulting now? Holy crap. I mean, I figured it would happen eventually, maybe, if I didn't die soon enough. Okay, that's really telling that I used to think of 'adulting' as a fate worse than death. Maybe it's a Good Thing that I don't any more? Or, at least, I'm willing to consider it a happy surprise rather than a fail-state?

So last night after proving she could use my beat up digits as adult novelty toys while simultaneously altering my brain-case ratio until I had some gray matter in my endorphins? I slipped into blissful unconsciousness, and not just like, 'oh, I'm unconscious so it's not hurting', either. Full on 'if this isn't heaven, I don't wanna go there' capital B Bliss which gradually drifted into Mimic Dreams. She's mostly back to vibing and contemplating the cosmos. She's also back to looking for mom, which... I dunno. Back before I realized that these were Mimic's Dreams? It kinda made sense for me to look out into the cosmos, what with the potential subconscious conflation of 'heaven' and 'heavens', and my Mom obviously deserving to be in the former, what with not only putting up with my sorry ass while she was dying of cancer, but also setting me up for what amounted to a pretty nice life for a High Schooler in fuckin' Camden. I mean, I guess she'd actually intended for me to go live with my sister in Philly where we could have shared rent and shit, or maybe move to PR where the Cost of Living would have made my dollars stretch further, but... I wasn't ready to leave. Somehow I guess the kid part of my brain, which was frankly making most of the decisions for me right after she died, had some kind of thought like if I waited long enough, she'd come back.

Maybe some part of me resonates with Mimic on that, since she seems to be waiting for Mom to turn up too.

Those thoughts lingered in my brain as I woke to the feel of one hand pinned between Saffron's thighs, the other arm wrapped around her, with the Menace using that hand as a pillow. Marie had snuggled up behind me to the point where I'm not sure that any of my weight really rested on the mattress or pillows; my head rested on her arm, and any place that wasn't plastered against Saffron was supported by Marie's fuzziness. Not a bad fuckin' way to wake up, if you've got a choice. Which apparently I do now? Okay, yeah, no, I don't think I actually have a choice, except maybe which side I'm laying on. Oh, no, my loss of bedtime agency. Anyway.

The clue that I'd brought back from Mimic Dreamland had bounced around the room enough that it finally made it back to my skull. "Oh, shit."

I tried to be quiet about that, but my whole volume control had taken a hit what with every part of me winding up more than a little frapped tossing that Mega Cure at New Amsterdam. The menace muttlied, whispering, "Mama gwounded," without even opening her eyes. Saffron's boot up sequence started with her adorable little nose twitches, and the tiger-skin rug, tiger still attached, that I'd been laying on tensed just a bit.

After the rest of us enjoyed watching Saffron waking up, I smiled at her when she looked up at me, her lips curving into a smile as she said, "good morning, my love. How did you sleep?"

Which brought me back to the clue I'd captured and somehow not lost track of through all that. "Really well, considering I'm sure that I somehow managed to kill all the shit out of myself pulling that colossally stupid stunt on New Years, and..."

Saffron snapped her teeth at me and thought, do not make me remind you. Yes, in singsong, in case you're wondering, which is probably my new favorite way of being interrupted. If anything tops that on the list is her doing it when she's kissing me. Or doing something else intimately naughty. Or maybe all at once.

Anyhow, before it could escape my brain, I blurted out, "I think Mimic is expecting a visit from her Mom at some point."

Marie tensed up at that. Saffron did too, but only a little, and only until she quietly said, "how would you have us receive her, my Goddess?"

I took a deep breath while thinking about it. "I'm not sure. On the one hand, I think she singlehandedly won 'Worst Mom Ever' by throwing me, and by me I mean Mimic, in a box before... hell, before there was Time to be before in." Saffron just waited, patiently staring at me as she waited on my decision. Marie ran her free hand down my side, petting me, which was both a little weird and really comforting.

The menace just snickered more, still whispering, "mama gon ge gwounded," like it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard. Hell, at least she'd gone with that instead of fart jokes, right?

"But..." I paused, looking down to see Saffron still waiting, patiently, on my indecisive ass. "People do stupid shit when they're afraid. And she was. Afraid. Fuck, she probably still is." I looked at Saffron, but she just waited for me to make up my fuckin' mind. "Okay, assuming she doesn't come storming in like Odin into Loki's cave, or sneak in to pull shit like Sengann did? I'm willing to hear her out. To try and talk things out, rather than..." Everything snapped into place right there as I realized not only what I wanted, but why I wanted it. "I don't want to respond out of fear, justified or not."

Saffron didn't judge. She just nodded, and when her gaze rose to meet mine, said, "as my Goddess wishes, so it shall be." Then an impish Grin curved her lips and she looked over her shoulder and said, "so no eating her before we've spoken with her, Menace."

For her part, Isnomi snickered, then shouted, "no ead Gamma, tikibada!"

A few seconds later, Conrad leaned around the doorframe, an exquisite offended look gracing his features. Fake, but exquisite nonetheless. "I'm not the one who eats things, sister." Then he turned to me and, his original issue hand to his chest, said, "should I encounter her before any of you, I shall of course follow your desires, both in speaking to her and in letting her know you wish to speak with her."

"Thank you, Son." A nod, and he was gone. "Yeah, part of the reason she'd got on my mind was Mimic dreaming about her, but not entirely."

"What else then, Goof?"

"Sengann called out to her while I..." I took a deep breath. "While I was killing him."

Now it was Saffron's turn to wince. "Well, she's likely to turn up, then. Best to let Loki know as well."

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You hear that, Boss?

As I heard him call for her while you destroyed him, my Champion. Should she visit Sigyn and I, you will be the first to know. Should you encounter her first, you have my full support however you choose to handle the encounter.

Thanks, Boss. You're the best.

I know.

At that point I decided to take a little stock of my current condition. Not anything stressful, just kind of stretching everything, starting with my jaw and working my way downward. My jaw still pulled at the scar along the side of my face, but my neck moved pretty freely. My lower back did not like the idea of self-motility, but my arms both moved pretty well. My left hand, which Saffron still hadn't released from between her thighs, felt like I hadn't even put it through a blender. Hell, I think it felt better than the rest of me put together.

Likely something to do with very... focused... worship on the part of your most devout Priestess, my love.

That got me, I laughed out loud, and wonder of wonders? I ached. Not 'hurt', not 'felt like I was about to fall apart into a million pieces', not 'felt like my Tabitha-suit was falling apart along the perforation lines'. Just... ached.

"Hey, wait a minute."

"Yes, love?"

"Uh, The Equinox was two days ago, right?"

"Yes, love."

"So... wasn't yesterday Moving Up day?"

Saffron sighed. "Love, I find it painfully hilarious that the first time you show me you've paid attention, an unexpected detail has caused you to be incorrect."

"Huh?"

"This year had two New Year's Days. Normally New Year's Day is the Spring Equinox, but the second New Year's Day is... well... it doesn't count."

"Doesn't count?"

She shrugged. "It's a day purely for celebration. Of the New Year, of the beginning of Spring, of four more years survived. Of anything and everything anyone chooses to celebrate."

"Really? Cool. Wait, doesn't that mean Moving Up day is, like, today?"

She nodded. "That's correct, love." She tilted her head. "Did you want to attend?"

I thought about it for a second before I said, "y'know? I kinda do. Just to find out what it's like."

She nodded decisively. "Then we shall. Marie, could you please bring bath accoutrements? I'm afraid that despite our dear Tabitha's normal odor being pleasant, she hasn't really had a bath since her dunk in the harbor."

"Oof. I reek that bad?"

As Marie carefully offloaded me, then pulled on her Maid outfit at a speed that rivaled Loki's insta-dressing trick, Saffron fluffed the pillows behind me, then turned to send the menace to get our 'good' uniforms from the armoire in her room. "Not really, love. But it's really the Academy's only formal occasion."

With Saffron's help, I slowly, carefully levered myself out of bed. My everything ached, but as I'd discovered earlier, it ached rather than hurt, which meant if I moved slow and careful, nothing gave me 'fuck off and die' signals. Hell, my left hand even felt kinda good. Which let me know exactly what hand to keep my cane in. Within ten minutes, Marie returned with her tub and kettles of water, and we got cleaned up; Menace first, then Saffron, then me. The other two went through more out of solidarity than anything, but frankly I was a little embarrassed by how nasty my bathwater wound up. Once all of us were clean and dry, Saffron got Marie to strip down and the other three of us settled down with brushes to brush out all of her fur. I pretty much focused on her head, which let me sit still on the chair and let her lean back against my knees while the other two moved around her brushing.

Once we'd all gotten ourselves fully cleaned, dried, combed, and brushed, the three of them got dressed, insisting I sit there and watch while they did. Nothing, like, reverse strip tease or anything crazy like that, but still fun to watch. Also funny watching the menace trying to tie knots while looking at me instead of at her hands. Once they all had themselves dressed just so, they stood me up and dressed me while I leaned on my cane. Well, except when I needed an arm free for a sleeve, which is when Saffron slipped under my arm to help hold me up and Marie slipped my arm through the sleeve. I definitely don't want to keep hurting like this for any longer than I have to, but the pampering? Holy fuck could I get used to the pampering.

Okay, really I'd eventually get pissed off being babied, but at least for now I had fun with it.

Once we were all dressed up, we wandered down to the Dining Hall. After the first two flights of stairs, my thighs got a little more achy than Saffron liked, so Marie picked me up and carried me the rest of the way to the ground floor. The stairs were empty, and the halls even more so. I heard murmurs coming from the Dining Hall before we got there, but when we pushed open the doors, silenced washed outward from us. I looked around and saw the room filled with standing Cadets, Maids, instructors, and a bunch of people back in the back wearing civvy clothes. Parents or relatives, at a guess. A few tables had been pushed together to make a stage atop the dais, and the Marshall and the Headmaster stood front and center on those. A couple Cadets I remembered from mealtimes stood shoulder to shoulder in a row to the left of the tables, a few more stood in a line to the right. All of them watched us come into the room.

I'd already started to turn toward the ROTC table, or where it normally sat, but my entourage guided me around toward the front of the crowd. Step by step I moved at a crawl toward the front of the front of the room until I stood right in front of Miles and duBois. I hadn't actually broken a sweat yet, but it was a near thing, and everybody silently staring at me didn't help. The moment we stopped moving, Headmaster Miles started speaking. "Heroes, Cadets, Candidates, Honored Guests. We have with us today not only two Cadets who managed to avoid their own Moving Up Ceremonies when promoted from Freshmen to Cadet, not only two of the youngest Councilwomen in the history of Phileo, not only the Imperator of our newly formed Inter-City Alliance, but the young woman who has eclipsed her in the eyes of most of those living in our Cities. Cadet Aetos? Cadet Diaz? If you would join us?"

He motioned to the steps that had been set up to the side of the stage, but before I could take a step Marie wrapped her hands around my waist and lifted me up to the stage. Saffron straight up hopped up next to me; a pretty fuckin' impressive hop since the damn thing was as high as she was tall. Marshall duBois smiled as she did that, his smile only getting wider as she held out a hand to stabilize me as I took a moment to catch myself. I stood between the two of them and Saffron, and both of us stood half turned to face them, half turned to face the audience. We stood there for a second while a ripple rolled through the crowd.

Look, I'm all mature and shit, but it had been days since I'd gotten my snark on. "So, whatcha need?"

Big chunks of the room twitched at that; some of them trying not to laugh, the rest looking a little scandalized. Headmaster Miles closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath, but the Marshall just rolled with it. "It has come to our attention that during the recent events in Lancaster, Phileo lost eight Heroes. One of those positions has been filled by Lachlan Lancaster, and as always there are Senior Cadets waiting to fill those roles." The Marshall paused to let the crowd's inevitable murmur subside. "However, the Headmaster and I have spoken with the Phileo City Council, and with the overwhelming support of the Council led by Councilor McCann, we have decided that of the remaining seven Heroic positions, we intend to fill only five of them at this time."

Before the crowd could respond, Headmaster Miles took over smoothly. "We in Phileo will not bend our principles to the degree that we would place our youth in a position of unmitigated danger save in times of great peril, such as we faced in our recent war against our former foes in New Amsterdam, or during the plague that followed. So while both Cadet Saffron Aetos and Cadet Tabitha Diaz have been promoted previously to the position of full Cadet, we cannot promote either of them further at this time."

At that point the Marshall took back over. "Cadet Aetos, Cadet Diaz, you are both requested and required to accept promotion to the status of Hero, effective immediately upon completing your coursework and entering your majority." After a moment of stunned quiet, the crowd absolutely exploded with applause.

Well. Fuck. Did not expect that.