Dear Diary,
And so it begins. No, not the war. The 'Lancaster trying to take advantage of the idiot while Saffron's not looking'.
So today started pretty solid. Woke up early curled up with Saffron and Marie on the floor. At some point Isnomi'd climbed up into her Big Girl Bed and gone to sleep there. I quietly woke up the other two. Stealth triple tiger shenanigans for the win!
What? Marie's stupid stealthy, and apparently some of it's just Being A Maenad. So if you're gonna be doing sneaky shit and Being Marie is an option, you Be Marie. That's just Science.
Anyhow, we all trundled down to breakfast together, and there was much rejoicing. We got fried fish filets today along with the ubiquitous spicy eggs, jalapeno scrapple, and brown bread. The menace took one bite, power nommed the whole tray, then ran around stealing fish from everybody who had any left. Then almost belly flopped into the next tray of fish. Angel caught her and handed her over to Saffron, who claimed the squalling rugger and stood her up on her thighs.
"Big Girls do not get their uniforms dirty." Isnomi just shot her the stink eye and pointed at the gobbo table. They'd gotten better, but the table as a whole still looked like that scene from the peter pan movie where the lost boys are having a feast. Saffron shook her head. "Just because they do not know better does not mean I will allow my daughter to be that... sloppy." Next Isnomi pointed to me where I sat with my mouth almost overflowing with Spicy Eggs, a hunk of black bread in one hand, my water pitcher in the other. Saffron shook her head again. "Does Mama have any food on her clothes?"
Isnomi folded her arms and tried to sit down on Saffron's plate. Saffon caught her, looked her straight in the eye, and said, "if you get your uniform dirty on purpose, you are not a Big Girl, and you will be back in diapers so fast it will make your head spin."
The menace's bottom lip stuck out, her eyes teared up, and she looked at me. "Mama! Ahnama bi ga! Na dapa!"
I shrugged at her. "If you're a Big Girl?" I reached out and booped her snoot. "Act like it. No sitting in the food."
The lip went out further, but the teary eyes went away. She huffed. "Ah ka."
Saffron yeeted her over to me, I caught her, and proceeded to stuff a couple spoonfuls of eggs into her mouth. Soon she wriggled out of my lap, headed for the next tray of fish. This time she stopped a few steps away, plonked her ass right down on the table, and started shoveling fish into her mouth like it was her job. Eh, fuckit. We didn't tell her not to eat. We're not stupid.
Apparently our warships held the mouth of the Delaware, and there's plenty of decent fishing down around there. Before you ask 'but what about enemy warships', these are Philly fishermen we're talking about. They're not stupid enough to go sailing against 'Damn warships on their own, but when they've got themselves organized into a fleet, with the entire Phileo fleet backing them up? Yeah, they're absolutely going to go dare the 'Damn Navy to fuck around and find out. From what Bill heard from his parents, who heard it from some of the crew of those ships, at least a few Trojan Horse 'Damn fishing boats tried sneaking into the fleet full of Marines. So now we've got a few more ships.
Anyhow, as breakfast came to a close and we stood up, Larry came over to our table. "Cadet Diaz? Hero Lancaster needs you."
I shrugged, gave Isnomi and Saffron each kisses, handing Isnomi to Marie and seeing Saffron off with a smack on the ass before heading up to the front table. Lancaster had a few other Cadets, Senior Cadets by their age, standing around as he gave them orders. A pair were sent to get a report from Marshall duBois and give him an update on our training progress. One was sent to get updates from Potami, another to get an update from our Quartermaster Commodore, and one to check with the Maids, apparently about travel rations. With the last of them gone, he turned to the Headmaster. "Basil, do you mind if I borrow your office?"
Headmaster apparently Basil Miles just nodded and continued his conversation with Doc Roberts. Lancaster stood and waved for me to follow him. Hurry up and wait, plus some mild cardio in the form of walking from place to place. The real day to day of military life. We got to the Headmaster's office, Lancaster immediately sat down in the Headmaster's chair, then waved me to one of the seats across from it.
I stayed standing and said, "am I about to get reamed out or something?"
He shot me a crooked grin, "Forgive me, Councilwoman Diaz, I thought I'd made it clear to Laurence I needed to speak with you."
That made a little more sense. I nodded and slouched down into the comfiest looking seat; while the three obviously had the same basic design, the decorations differed. One had some Celtic knotwork, another had Norse runes, and the third had bas relief figures carved into it. "So, whatcha need, Councilman?"
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He gave me an odd look, glancing at the bas relief under the leg I'd thrown over one arm of the chair. "It's Councilmen, actually. I hold my seat as a Hero, the Heroes' Guild seat, and Odin's chair." He drew a breath, clearly delineating what he'd said from what came next. "Consider this your official notice that the Council will Convene one week from now. Please pass the word on to Loki's Councilwoman."
"You got it, Councilmen."
He looked a little irked that I'd actually replied, but continued. "As to that meeting, there will be at least three votes. The first will be for a conditional declaration of war, should the House of Orange send troops into our lands. I would like you to commit to voting in favor of that."
I shrugged. "Seems to make sense, although it also sounds a little weaksauce."
"How do you mean?"
"That's the biggest part of the no man's land. If they get onto land we claim as ours, we've already lost."
He nodded, looked thoughtful, and asked, "what if the condition is Orange troops crossing the original agreed upon border into our territory?"
I nodded back, "that sounds solid. They're probably already past it though."
He looked at me quizzically. "You have information I lack? And haven't told me?"
I shook my head, "Nah. Just an intuition. I think by now they've already started engaging duBois and Castro."
"Why?"
"They'd have sent updates if the situation was static. They'd have sent requests for reinforcements if they had enough spare bodies to send one. That means the situation is fucked up. I can't see Castro or duBois starting shit, so," I shrugged, "the 'Damn army started shit."
"Interesting analysis. The Marshall isn't quite so good with peacetime reports, unfortunately, so I can't be certain, but I suspect you're correct." He paused before continuing. "There will be another vote for an immediate declaration of war. I would like you to vote against that."
"Why?"
He just did his whole 'noble leader' pose. "I have my reasons."
"What's the third vote?"
"How will you be voting on the immediate declaration of war?"
I smirked at him, "I don't know yet, but I'll tell you which way I'm leaning once you tell me the third vote."
I saw a little more respect filter into his eyes. "The third vote will be to declare me Marshall. I would, of course, like your support on that."
I nodded. "Yeah, no. I don't think so. And that first vote isn't going to be about the original border. You've got three votes already, you're looking to parlay that into another three before we're officially at war and duBois has as many votes as you do. I'm thinking because you want to be sure he can't countermand you in the field. Am I right?" He just stared at me. "I mean, no hard feelings, Councilmen. I'm not offended by you pulling this kinda thing, since I think you're doing it so you can win the war. But don't try to con a con artist. You got the legal chops, but I don't think you've ever had to bullshit somebody just to get some food in an empty belly. Also, y'know," I pointed at him, "lawyer," then jerked my thumb at my own chest, "trickster." I sat there staring at him until he opened his mouth, then cut him off. Completely rude, but I think I'm starting to get off on cutting off powerful men right before they mansplain or some shit. "Look, Councilmen, I get that you don't want to argue with duBois while fighting the 'Damn army. On that, we're in agreement. How about the Council votes you as the official theater commander. Still leaves the Marshall as CIC, but it means as soon as you arrive he can get his ass out of the front line, stop soldiering, and start commanding. Like maybe working up our next wave of reinforcements or something."
By the end of that, Lancaster gave me a surprised nod. "You are more politically savvy than I expected."
I laughed, "nah. I just thought, 'what would I do if I wanted to wreck the shit out of our own side?'."
He frowned at me, a bit of real heat in his voice as he asked, "you would accuse me of betraying Phileo?"
"Nah. I don't think you can actually conceive of that. You think of you as Phileo, and I don't see you betraying that. I can totally see you fucking up your Generalling by trying to Politic when you should be Officering, though."
He sucked at his teeth. "I... cannot in good faith say you could not possibly be correct."
"Yeah. So, just so we're clear? I'm a yes on any conditional declaration, because if they do get past the army, we need to be on a war footing. I'm a yes on a straight up declaration, because I'm a straightforward kind of gal. I'm a no on you as Marshall, but if some clever sort puts in a vote to declare you official 'General' or 'Theater Commander?' You can put me down as a 'yes' for that."
"What of your wife?"
I shrugged. "I'll tell her about the Convenening and the votes. I expect I could convince her to vote the same way, and she might convince me I'm wrong about some of them. She's smarter than me, but I'm better at wrecking shit."
"Fair."
"Anything else, Councilmen?"
"That will be all, Councilwoman. Cadet?"
I rolled to my feet, and before he could say anything, asked, "so, what did you think about Cadet Lancaster's pontoon bridge idea, sir?"
He looked doubtful. "You mean your idea?"
I shook my head, "Nah. I just blabbed some bullshit I read about somewhere. The class came up with the idea, and Larry pretty much led the discussion. He's his dad's kid, sure enough."
That got a frown rather than any kind of paternal pride, but fuck it, I tried. "Do not spread this about, but I intend to put the bridge in place."
"Cool, cool." A thought hit my brain, almost bounced off, then wormed its way in on thoughts of fish. "Hey, do we have any Bag in Phileo or the Yards who are really good at, like, underwater work? Like, chicks with gills or dudes who can hold their breath for hours or something?"
"Possibly."
"If you're going to use the bridge for a fighting retreat? Set some of those dudes underneath the bridge, and have them cut it to pieces once our guys are all off. 'Damn Army instantly becomes shitty 'Damn Marines on shittier boats, and we just take pot shots at them with our new crossbows."
That got him. He smiled as the vision took shape in his head, then looked at me. "But the bridge itself was my son's idea, not yours."
"Hey, man. I don't build stuff good, but I've been told I have a gift for wrecking shit. Even our shit, the moment it's not our shit any more."
He shook his head, waved me off, "return to Hero Potami, Cadet Diaz."
I don't think he intended me to notice his facepalm, or his quiet mutter of, "there are two of them."