Dear Diary,

I don't know from 'The Right Thing' very often, I don't think. I mean, The Wrong Thing? Things, really, since there are plenty of Wrong Things out there to choose from? Yeah, I can spot some of those. Rape. Murder. Stealing things someone needs to survive. Hurting people who don't deserve it. Listening to any Metallica after they championed the cause of the Big Exploitative Labels unironically. Crop Dusting. But The Right Thing? I'm really not sure any more.

Although... maybe, since there's apparently a list of Wrong Things maybe as long as my list of cut classes? Maybe there's more than one Right Thing?

Fuck, I dunno. Stop looking at me like I'm an authority... figure....

Fuck on toast.

Anyway, so yesterday after Larry kicked his father's train of thought off the rails, carpet bombed its eventual stopping place in a waste treatment plant, and somehow managed to share credit with me and mine even though we'd only stood there with stupid grins and all the cheerleading skills of the girls from the 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' video, I realized that one of those maybe 'Right Things' was missing. Or undone. Something like that anyhow. I stepped close enough to Larry to speak so only he and Bonnie could hear. I mean, I would have spoken quiet enough for only him to hear, but since she was draped over him like one of those lions in the formal attire of really over the top Hollywood-African rulers, that would have required me molding myself to his other side, and we've already talked about my aversion to that idea.

"This would be a good time to maybe toss out an olive leaf."

Larry didn't snerk, but not only did Bonnie totally do so, I heard the very pointed not-snerk in his voice when he replied, equally quietly, "I think you mean olive branch, Commander?"

I backed up, bringing my hands up in an absolutely intentional comedic show of disavowal. "Oh, hey now, I didn't say I was down for all that, now. That's way, way too much."

I got him that time, he barked out a laugh and turned back to his father with a snickering Bonnie draped over his shoulder. "Would you like to attend, sir?"

Lancaster Senior twitched his head, like he wanted to shake it to clear it, but didn't want to risk being misunderstood. After pausing and clearing his throat, he straightened up and said, "Of course. For a wedding of such politic importance in the City, the High Priest of Odin must be..."

"No." It spoke volumes that when Larry cut his father off, his father stopped talking. "I suspect the High Priestess of Mimic," absolute baller, didn't stutter or even slow down, "might have objections to Odin, but I am absolutely certain that the High Priestess of Loki would be outright offended should a High Priest of Odin attend." When Daddy Lancaster blinked in confusion, Larry continued, much more gently. "But the head of Lancaster House, on the other hand, ought attend any such important politically charged event, and..." that last word came out almost as an afterthought of a whisper, like we'd all imagined he hadn't ended the sentence with the word 'event'.

Saffron cut in at that point. "As one of the co-officiants, I will state here and now that should they be available to do so, the parents of the bride and groom ought attend any wedding and show their support of their children. Even if they disagree with the match itself, it is their duty to support their children in whatever way they are able." She turned to look directly at me. "What are Loki's opinions on the matter?"

Uhh....

Oh, no, you are my designated representative, and I cannot wait to hear my stance on this.

Thanks. Boss. You're. The best.

I know.

I love him like the dad I don't really remember, but he could be a Compleat Prick at times. But looking at it from the other end, like I kinda had to do now? Yeah, that would be fuckin' hilarious to do.

I shook my head like I'd been daydreaming or some shit, my gaze winding up pointed straight at Saffron's cleavage before snapping up to take in the rest of the crowd. "Oh, yeah. Hearth and Home and all that good shit. I ain't even gonna try to tell our menace who she's gonna kick it with, but sure as shit I'm gonna support whatever choice she makes."

While I listened to three sets of laughter, one slightly shocked from Saffron and two filled with absolute hilarity from Loki and Sigyn echoing through him, I watched something maybe on some level approaching softness flash across Leonard Lancaster's face. Not, like, gooey sappy happiness, or even care for his son or any normal human emotion, but... relief? He straightened up, practically clicked his heels together as he stood to something between Attention and Parade Rest, actually nodded his head, albeit incrementally, toward Larry and Bonnie, and said, "so be it. Lord Lancaster would be honored to attend the wedding ceremony of his son Laurence, the Heir Lancaster."

Holy. Fuckballs. I'd come here vaguely expecting Larry to slap his metaphoric Heir cock down on the table and dare Lenny to try measuring up, but I absolutely did not expect goddamned General Leonard Lancaster, in full control of his wits, to openly and directly acknowledge Larry as Heir. Shit, maybe that's why the relief, maybe? Sure as shit if I'd spent my life managing what amounted to the biggest chunk of land and wealth and power in the least shitty City in the world, I'd have been a little bit nervous about handing all that over to Lachlan, especially knowing that he had eight asshole cousins and one useless waste of space vying for the job instead of supporting him.

Now? Larry had just stepped up and slammed down his 'I can run this better than you have done, and I have... no, wait, I am enacting a plan to do so'. I'm even pretty sure Leonard knew how deeply bonded his sons were, and that Lachlan would sooner drink rancid tuna salad out of his own asshole than knowingly betray his brother. The former Heroes formerly known as Lancaster sure as shit had no say or influence over anything any more, so they wouldn't be a problem. So, y'know, other than 'he might decide I'm a problem too', Daddy Lancaster's Heir problems had all vanished in one, admittedly confusing and painful for him, morning.

Weirdest thing? At this point I think if Larry had decided Lenny was a problem and executed him? Lenny wouldn't object. Fight back, maybe, because he sure as shit wasn't stupid or suicidal, but if Larry could put him in the ground, to Lenny that was just another sign he was the better man to be leading.

Not really a line of thought I could empathize or agree with, but... Y'know? Maybe I take that back. If someday I saw Isnomi in front of me saying, 'I'm sorry, Momma, but you're hurting people and I have to stop you.'? I'm not sure if I would fight back. Oh, I guarantee I'd be running my fucking mouth, because ain't shit gonna stop that, but... I don't know that I could raise a hand against her. I sure as shit would regret doing so, even out of instinct. She's a Good Kid. Way better than me. Even if she is a Hellspawn in my own image.

At any rate, the Council still had fuckin' work to do. I looked at Bonnie and Larry and said, "okay you two. Looks like the wedding is on for Monday. You two have plans for the day?" When they shook their heads, I moved toward the door Ophelia and Lancaster had come in, waved them after me and asked, "any chance you could show us around, love?"

With that an Academy-Uniformed Saffron strode by my side, reaching out to capture my hand and lead me outside with Bonnie and Larry in tow. "Certainly. I can show you some of what's been done to repair the, ah, shit-kicking you gave Newark, show you around the town, what parts are coming back to functioning after the quarantine, and show you off to the combined Army."

That's really fuckin' hot, you just shoving that kind of personal power right in the Council's faces. I think I'd need new panties...

Saffron barked a laugh as I trailed off. If you ever wore any, you irrepressible hedonist. It sounds almost like you want the two of us to Co-Locate back to Phileo for the day as well.

You know me so well, but... let's let this simmer, see where it goes.

She shot me a little side eye, which I wouldn't have seen if I weren't looking at her anyhow. Behind us neither of the lovebirds noticed our little non-verbal byplay. It seemed they'd settled into their preferred public roles, where she pretended to pay zero attention to shit but distracting him, and he tried to function like a vaguely normal non-distracted human being while she did so. Fuck it, if they both liked the parts they were playing, good on them. At any rate, Saffron thought, Tabitha? Are you feeling okay? I almost think I heard you think about delaying gratification when you know you could have it both now and later.

Yeah, I think you've converted me to the cause of anticipation. I mean, sometimes at least.

Not worried that we'll be interrupted? Yet again?

I shrugged. Eh. What're the odds the two of them aren't going to ask us for a ride back to Lancaster House so they can get their ride on at some point before dinner?

Her shoulders shook with silent laughter. I give it until an hour after lunch, tops.

See? See? You're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down. Besides, even if I'm all mature and you're all stately and shit, and we'd never start a global thermonuclear war over interrupted nookie, you really think the pair of them have that kind of restraint yet?

She turned her head as she led us toward the Army encampment, which had people streaming in and out more or less constantly, a lot of them heading to or from the two big worksites where Saffron had stomped a pair of size Kaiju stilettoes through the walls. Careful, love, it sounds almost like you envy Aphrodite her Domain.

I shrugged. I mean, I could always go take it. Not like the bitch hasn't done a million things to deserve it. Probably this week even.

She pouted up at me. Not fair. Now I kind of want to see what it would be like if you do. But I also think you're joking, and that you'd feel bad if you did it for fun, or because I asked you to.

I put my arm around her, running my hand down her hair, down her back, and giving her butt a squeeze before lifting it back up to her shoulder. Hey, I'll make it up to you later.

But how, though?

I tilted my head as Saffron started pointing out key spots in the battlefield to Bonnie and Larry, who made appropriate appreciative noises. I mean, mostly Larry did. Bonnie's self-appointed job being seeing how often she could make him miss his cues, I think. How about I do my best to make you terrified of the thought of me eating a sex Deity, because you don't think you'd survive the celebratory shenanigans, and you absolutely wouldn't be able to stop yourself from engaging in them anyway?

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

She shuddered the tiniest bit, I only felt it because I had, as noted, put my arm around her. Now I'm really hoping they ask to go back before lunch.

Yay!

Saffron was as good as her word, pointing out a lot of the key points of the battle, describing it to Larry, answering his questions about maneuvers, the flow of the battle, all that good military shit. I mean, some of it didn't apply, like 'what direction did our forces advance from', what with 'our forces' being me, and my direction of advance being 'right up in your grill while ripping your gonads through your sphincter'. But even there he seemed pretty impressed. Fuck, he even seemed a little smug, which totally confused me until I realized. The goddamned one-sided murderfest I still hadn't quite gotten over feeling guilty about? Just cemented his certainty that he'd picked the right Patron.

Eh. Fuckit. I had enough people blowing smoke up my ass because they wanted something from me. Might as well have one doing it because he thought I liked it and deserved a well-smoked ass.

Our bonnie Bonnie decided her Clydesdale needed immediate riding sometime just before lunch. I still don't remember exactly what Larry said, because what with Saffron playing tour guide? I'd been dreaming up decadent deviltry since the moment I thought 'yay'. Honestly, I really hoped I hadn't misunderstood his request, because before he'd finished inhaling after speaking, I'd dropped them both next to the Heir's bed with a hurried, "We'llPickUpTheGuestListTomorrowBye!"

I'll bet you're expecting me to say something like 'Saffron and I were happily exhausted when we showed up at the Temple district Sunday morning wearing our Clerical best', but that is absolutely not the case.

We showed up shortly after lunch.

Neither of us were fatigued in the slightest. In her case because I'd come up with the idea of applying precision Stabilizes to sensitive regions every time she tried to claim exhaustion. In my case I'd really intended to lean on my literally inhuman Endurance, but... um... yeah, apparently worship is kind of refreshing? And I'm sure at some point she said something like 'don't tell me which one you killed, I want to believe this is absolutely all your own doing'? She sure as hell seemed to 'get exhausted' quicker and quicker, to the point where when someone's cart bumped into the door and we scrambled into a kid-safe position faster than I thought possible, I'm sure she'd said 'so exhausted' repeatedly in an absolutely cocaine-squirrel energetic voice for like half an hour. Turned out Marie had some stuff to do after lunch, and had come by to drop Isnomi off for the afternoon. Before we let her go, we pulled her into a big old thorough hugging, which Isnomi of course jumped in for as well, since I felt like we'd really been neglecting her over the past couple days.

I wasn't sure how to feel, but sure as shit felt some kinda way, probably multiple ways, when after Isnomi ran to put on the little padded flight suit Marie had knocked together, Saffron pulled Marie and I down and said, "I definitely think we need to show Marie what you've just shown me."

I replied, in the same quiet tones, "you mean, like, both of us?"

Saffron pulled out the Grin of Global Panty Obliteration, looked Marie straight in the eye and said, "oh. yeah. She can take it. I'm sure she's looking forward to it, even. Right, oh my beloved Maenad?"

I'm not sure which engendered which of the feels; Marie's slightly floor-rumbling purr, her squeaked out, "Yes?" or the way how she scampered off reminded me a whole fucking lot of Bonnie's 'terrifically eager and eagerly terrified' vibe when we dropped her and Larry off.

Shit, I'm now thinking of 'terrified' as a positive thing. Fuck. Because it is apparently my entire Pantheon's guiding motif, the whole 'terror' thing. Then again, there wasn't really any 'no' involved in Marie's 'yes'. Mystification, maybe, confusion at her own response and agreed to fate, certainly, maybe even a shit ton of the kind of terror that you feel as the clicking of the chain winching the roller coaster up slows down for those last couple clicks before it lets you go, but... 'no'? Not even a shred of it in there.

Anyway, the whole 'getting a spot in a Temple' turned out to be a fuckton easier than I'd previously imagined, at least in part because Saffron had been doing some prep work. Because of course she had.

We stepped to the big open area around the Temples, me in The Dress, her in Glowing Midnight. On the downside, the spot both of us remembered? Right in front of the Moon Temple.

I hadn't really gotten to look at the whole Temple District before. Something, something, something, rescuing my daughter, you get the deal. Anyhow, while some part of me couldn't get over the fact that the place had been built by the labor, not to mention literal blood, sweat, and tears of tens of thousands, probably tens of millions, I had to admit, it looked really nice.

Some of the temples weren't really my style; one that seemed central, which Saffron totally bypassed as we walked clockwise around, reminded me a lot of Lancaster House while looking nothing like it. Something about it reeking of power, I think. We passed another one that had a positively obscene amount of gold trim, but they'd somehow gilded the lily twice and it wound up working. Some part of me deep inside was torn, deeply so. It simultaneously terrified and enthralled me. As we passed by, Saffron shot me a weird kind of smile and said, "the Temple of the Sun."

"Huh. Can't tell if I like it or not."

She smiled up at me, a much more natural one this time. "You come from Darkness, love. You are Domnu's firstborn. You predate Light, but without you it would never have become."

"Huh. So, are we gonna do the full tour?"

She laughed a little and said, "oh, no. Sorry, love." She pulled me to a stop and started pointing; we stood on a rise, from which we could see all seven other temples. She pointed to the one we both knew, "Temple of the Moon," then moved to the next one, which had Big Courthouse Energy. "Temple of Justice." The next one along the line reminded me so fuckin' much of Vet's Stadium back in Philly it scared me a little. "Temple of Storms" The next around the outside reminded me of a brothel, so it totally didn't surprise me when she said, "Temple of 'Love'." Finally she pointed toward the one we'd been heading toward before she started her litany. "Temple of Wisdom."

I'd been about to point at the one in the middle and ask about it when that descriptor hit me. I swear, I tried to stop, but I laughed all the way down to the entrance. Saffron walked alongside of me, chuckling her own self, although not with the utter incongruous hilarity I had. When we got there I wiped my eyes and said, "wisdom? Really?"

"All of them have other aspects, much like gods have broad Portfolios. Even Primordials sometimes encompass a Portfolio or two within their," she cleared her throat just a little, as if to tell me she realized how bad her next words could sound if taken the wrong way, "excessively large Domains."

I looked down at her, unable to help myself. I thought you like the size of my... Domain.

The Grin looked like she'd brought all of her sisters to flash across Saffron's face in an instant. It is terrifyingly large, as is only just. It destroys and recreates me each and every time I, she paused, very obviously for effect, interact with it.

While I choked on my own spit trying not to laugh at the dude and woman walking up to us, she said, "and so Wisdom can also be seen as Bounty, as Celebration, as Home and Hearth, as Cleverness, and most certainly, to the foolish, as Trickery."

"Really? Trickery?"

She looked up at me, and suddenly she wasn't there. I felt her leaning against my back. A polite yet clearly complete Stabilize tagged both of my nips and my lady bits. Fingers tugged playfully at my hair. She grabbed each of my hands in a pair of hers, leaning back to both of my sides and spinning me in a complete circle before collapsing back onto me and leave me staring down at her again. "Do you disagree?"

"Yeah, with that kind of demonstration? I'd be a fool not to."

The woman, who looked to be the older of the two, but not by much, cut in with, "and while Lord Loki often plays the fool, it has never been wise to think him foolish." She lay a hand on her breast, gave me a shallow, but polite bow, and said, "Saffron Rae, High Priestess of Hestia for the City of Phileo."

I looked down at Saffron, who shrugged and said, "it's not a totally uncommon name. It's originally Bag, but saffron is so stupidly expensive that the Dan simply must use it."

Saffron Rae laughed out loud at that, a clear, rich laugh that held no anger nor embarrassment. As she wiped at her eyes a little, she nodded toward the temple in the center of the other six, the one that kind of instinctively made me want to get Mimic's full Smite on. "So, so true. Likely why it would anger them to hear it."

I glanced at the ugly gaudy thing and said, "whose temple is that one again?"

The guy answered. His voice had that kind of deep ringing quality that made me think of the word 'intoned'. "That, High Priestess of Loki, is the Temple of Kings." He did the same kind of bow that Saffron Rae had and said, "Raymond Papadopoulos, High Priest of Saturn to Phileo, and Priest Most High of Saturn, for my crimes."

I smiled, mirrored their little bow, and said, "Tabitha Diaz, Priestess High set above all others of Loki. I like crimes. Crimes are good. What crimes?"

He chuckled at that and said, "primarily the crime of continuing to worship a Titan when that is outlawed in most of Europa and Atlantis." He didn't say anything else, but raised an eyebrow and looked at Saffron.

She smiled, nodded, and then, to my absolute fucking amazement, curtsied. Not, like a full on knees hit the floor or anything, but the little skirt pinch along with incremental knee and neck bends. "Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Priestess Most High Above All Others of Mimic."

Without much of a pause at all, he looked at me and said, "So it seems you like crimes quite a lot indeed. I'm afraid I'm both old and spoken for though."

I don't know why, but I knew he wasn't hitting on me or really intending any kind of flirtation, just fuckin' around verbally. "Yeah, me too. Spoken for, not old. But, like, really, really spoken for. So spoken. Much for. Very marriage. Wow."

I realized something just then. I'm sorry, Kitten. Diaz is just kinda ingrained habit, I don't mean to hurt you.

Don't worry, Goof. You don't. Not in the slightest. You... no, not the time to talk about that, at all. Be assured that it is nothing bad, just perhaps something I'd want to speak with you about when we are both alone, singular, and not otherwise engaged.

Well. Shit. You know I'm gonna forget.

I won't.

I smiled down at her, the smile getting a little wider when I realized what I was saying. I know.

"So, as you've written to us, the two of you wish to claim your portions of the Temple of Wisdom?" Saffron Rae said to Saffron.

"Yes. I hope there won't be any problems?"

She shrugged. "We'd be poor choices for the Temple of Wisdom if we couldn't work out solutions, wouldn't we?"

I looked down at my Saffron. "I like her."

"Also spoken for, I'm afraid." She sounded... a little less not-regretful, if not in any way uncertain. "At any rate, how large are your congregations?"

"Mine is still forming, but I am to officiate at a wedding tomorrow, so I thought it time to claim Mimic's place."

Saffron Rae nodded. "Wise." She managed to hold back her laughter to a single snerk before continuing. "Will you be needing to place any statuary, or symbols, or anything of the sort?"

"But," Saffron said. "Hers are," she said in my voice, as me, standing on my far side. "Already," said Saffron Rae from where she leaned her back against my legs sitting on the ground in front of me. "In place," said Raymond from behind me, draping his arms around me.

That got a bit more of a reaction from both of them, although it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. Raymond looked like he'd just swallowed spit the wrong way, but wasn't upset about it, and Saffron Rae just got a really calculating speculative look on her face before she said, "I would hate to make this a condition of our agreement to your inclusion, but is there any way we could arrange for you to stand in for me now and again?"

Saffron just laughed from where she leaned against my front, pulling my arms around her. "Of course. Simply inform me beforehand if at all possible. Also, my attention and time are divided across many responsibilities, so if you'll need me to be more than a passive stand in or decoy, I'll need a bit more warning and might need to decline."

"That's more than generous." She half turned to Raymond, "I support her inclusion. And you?"

He stood there, mouth working, like he couldn't quite work out what to say. I almost thought maybe he was praying, but suddenly Saffron said, "make your request, Raymond. I swear to you upon my Dark Lady that no matter how base, I shall not take offense." After half a beat, she wriggled almost imperceptibly against me and continued. "I also assure you that it is, to my knowledge, nigh impossible to offend my dear Tabitha."

He half choked at that, and his head shaking wasn't so much as a series of twitches as he stuttered out, "no. Nope. No, no, no, I... Nope. No..."

Right about then a sudden burst of enlightenment slammed into my brain like a goddamned meteor. I shot an image into Saffron's brain, then thought, three, two, one, now.

As Saffron Rae, but in our own dresses, we both looked up at him from where we clung his-elbows-in-our-cleavage tight to his arms and said, in unison, "but what about yes?"

Saffron Rae stared at him, mouth twitching, one eyebrow slowly going up as we stood there, Raymond frozen in between us.

After the shortest most hilarious deliberation in my recent memory, he slumped the tiniest bit, froze when he realized that was kinda dragging our dresses from 'ultra cleavage' to 'wide open boob window', then admitted guilt and acquiesced in what I and apparently Loki found the most hilarious way possible.

"Ah, shit."