Dear Diary,

It's the little things that get you. Like I was yesterday. Little, that is. Not getting anybody. I mean, yeah, I got Saffron later, because watching her jiggle physics while she's riding a heavy bar lights a fire in me, and watching me flex and sweat does the same for her. Things got a little bit slippery and a lot sweaty when we stopped by the Bed room before heading home. Siobhan found us there and insisted it was her duty as Concubine to clean us up. Before either of us could think of a good reason to stop her, she started doing so. With her tongue.

Yeah, Saffron and Siobhan are both little things. Adorable little things. And they definitely get me. Like, not just 'oh, we have sex... a lot', but also they understand me. They get that even after all the makeshift therapy with Mom and Dad and Saffron and Marie, and I guess I ought to add Siobhan to that group, and definitely think I need to get my ass back to meeting on the regular with them, but even after all that, I still have trouble asking for help. I have even more trouble asking for intimate things that aren't actually sex.

Funny that I started thinking about this when Saffron made me littler than her. Which, to be clear, really did start me making more gains in the strength department. I think. I mean, it felt like a good workout, the kind I used to get when duBois set us to doing basic weight training. Definitely had my muscles burning and a little weak by the end of the day, which is totally why I couldn't resist when Siobhan enacted her plan to clean Saffron and I up in the dirtiest way possible. Of course, I think all of us giggled and squealed more than we groaned and sighed, which I am absolutely okay with. If you can't laugh while you're doing it, you're doing something wrong.

As we all lay there slightly less sweaty and a lot more relaxed, I had an idea and thought, Marie?

A moment later she popped into the room dressed in her Maid uniform. I realized right then that if none of us asked her to dress in something else, that was in fact her go to, her comfort zone. Which let me know exactly what to dress her in when I wanted her both in and out of said zone. At any rate, she looked at the three of us sprawled on the bed, me still sized somewhere between Siobhan and Saffron, and said, "Nice."

"Yeah, if you wanna join in, feel free, but I think we're all a little passive at the moment. But I had a question for you." She tilted her head, waiting. "What's the plan for Menace's birthday this year? I mean, it's coming up soon, right? She's a Winter baby?"

"Winter baby?" asked Saffron, sounding a little put out.

I sighed. "Yeah, I just put my foot in my mouth, didn't I?"

She made a throwing away gesture. "Nothing worth getting worked up over. Or I'd be working with our Concubines to see if we could actually get both of your feet in your mouth."

"Ooh. Kinky. But... Isnomi's birthday?"

Saffron sighed. "You're missing an entirely different issue, you realize?"

"Uh, what did I..." I stuttered to a stop as I realized that we hadn't celebrated any of the other kids' birthdays this year. Fuck, I didn't even know when their birthdays were. "Marie? How much did we miss them by?" She just stared at me, unblinking. "Oh, shit. You don't know their birthdays?"

She sighed. "Forgot."

I realized right then why, and I yoinked her to me as I sat up, resizing myself to hug her head to my chest. "It's okay, Murder Mittens. I get why you don't normally think about birthdays if somebody doesn't remind you. But that ends now." She looked up at me, a little concern in her eyes. "Everyone in this family is going to have their birthday celebrated, if I have to bake the fuckin' cake and light the candles my own fuckin' self."

The others giggled, and Marie snorted. "I think we'd rather Marie made any foodstuffs, love."

"Hey, I can cook!" Marie snorted again. "What? You're teaching me!"

She looked up at me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "Yes."

"So... can I help with the cakes?"

"Maybe."

I shrugged, then laughed. "Okay, good enough. So we know when your birthday is going to be." All three of them looked at me, and I said, "not, like, a specific day yet, but we know what event she's waiting for. Even if it seems like she wants that to be both her anniversary and her birthday."

Saffron put her arms around us. "Nonsense. You'll be doing that on the wedding night which, since it is after sunset, is technically the following day. Unless I miss my guess, you'll be waiting until seconds before sunrise as well."

"You figured it out?" She just smiled a quiet little smile at me. I sighed. "Shit. I promised, didn't I?"

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

"You did. Now, on to equally important things," she leaned over and snagged Siobhan, pulling her in between the three of us. "When will we be celebrating your birthday, Siobhan Darling?"

She blushed prettily and stammered out, "I don't normally celebrate, I never..."

I silenced her with a kiss, then when I pulled back, Saffron followed up, and while Marie did the same after that, I said, "did I or did I not just say that everyone in our family will be having birthday celebrations?" Then I realized. "Shit. Saffron, you remember when we first fired Vulcan, right?"

She blinked. "I do. Although that would rather mean that we ought throw a celebration for our other son, whose birthday is likely to remain a mystery."

I snorted. "Oh, please. He's exactly the kind of edgelord who would tell us it was on his High Holy Day, even if it wasn't. And I am absolutely certain how I want it celebrated." When they all looked at me, I said, "All Hallows, and everyplace we can get to do it every kid in the City is gonna be doing Trick or Treat."

Saffron choked on her spit. "Children, dressed up as terrifying monsters, scaring people into giving them treats, lest they play tricks on them? He'll love it."

"See? See? You're pickin' up what I'm putting down." Then I got a little more serious. "Okay, I'll get with Conrad and see if he can get the gliders ready for Isnomi's birthday." They all looked at me. "Hey, she gets people to fly with, and it'll kinda maybe make up for none of them having proper birthdays this year. We do need to come up with something for her though. Marie? Can you handle the cake?" She nodded. "That means the rest of us need to ferret the birthdays out of the others today."

"Why the rush, love?"

"Because if we don't? We'll find out that one of them was born some time between now and Isnomi's birthday." Then I snagged Siobhan as she nodded. "Birthday?"

She smiled shyly and whispered, "New Year's Day."

Saffron snuggled her from the other side. "Oh, you poor dear." Then she chuckled. "Of course, I think we can ensure you're able to celebrate traditionally this year as well as having a Birthday party."

That got her. We all snuggled in and watched as her eyes fluttered back open. "Sorry, mistresses. It's been..."

"Oh, hush," said Saffron, and we went round robin with the kisses again. "Now, let's be about it, ladies. We've birthdays to discover."

"Oh! Wait! I'm gonna ask Isnomi if she knows the others, then Maze, then Ria. If any of them know, it'll be one of those three."

Saffron nodded. Stay in communication, ladies. Let's not ask any of them twice, or let them think we've forgotten.

So while we ate dinner, I Co-Located over to Isnomi and scooped her up. "Need to talk a moment, Menace." I looked to the others. "Nothing bad." Then I stepped us up to the Bath, which currently stood empty. "Hey kiddo. Your birthday is coming up."

"Yeth!"

"You know your sisters ought to be getting presents too, right?"

She got a little bit of a booger look, but temporized with, "on they birthdayth?"

"Well, yeah, that'd be good next year, but we missed them this year, didn't we?"

I knew we'd been doing something right when I watched the horror creep across her face as she realized that she had, in fact, missed her sister's birthdays. "Oh, no!"

I hugged her to let her know it was all right. "It's okay. This year's been busy, but that's why we're make up for it, then gonna do better next year."

"Oh tay. Yeth." She nodded, her tears never quite falling.

"Do you know when any of their birthdays are?"

She thought for a second, putting one finger to her lip as she did. Then tapping at one of her just a tiny bit oversized canines. "I think I heared Mayth thay herth wath Thalley Third."

Maze is Sally sird. I mean Sally third.

Saffron's petite snort goosed my brain. Your accent is adorable as always. Sallyeh. And the third.

I hopped back to the dining room and delivered Isnomi back to her sisters, then sauntered back to my seat, which Siobhan had kept warm for me. Before she could get up, I shrank down, hopped in her lap, and said, "feed me?"

While she did that, I thought, I'm dumb. Tallulah?

Goddess?

When's Ria's birthday? When that got silence, I asked, Referencing the Phileo calendar, what day was Ria born on?

Howah Sixteenth, Year three hundred twenty eight since the Founding of Phileo.

Thanks, Tallulah. You coming to visit any time soon?

I... suppose I could visit tomorrow? she stuttered out.

See you then!

When we headed up to the Bath, I snagged Ria as we got to the back door into their bedrooms. "Can I ask you something?" When she nodded, I stepped us both to the hallway beyond the big solid door, which Saffron insisted remain shut when we weren't all trooping through it. "Do you know your sister's birthdays?" She nodded. "What are they?"

She straightened up and spoke almost like she was on stage at some kind of spelling bee or something. "My eldest sister, Cailyn, was born on the fifteenth day of Chinnuh." I realized right then that maybe we needed to do something nice for Ria's big sisters too, even if we hadn't technically Fostered them. Which meant we really ought to do something for Tallulah, but from what I could tell she was, like, Marie old. She might not know her birthday either.

Cailyn on the fifteenth of Chinnuh.

"My next sister, Adrienne, was born on the last day of Beh."

Adrienne on the, uh, last day of Beh.

Saffron sounded a little put out. Beh twenty eighth. Between now and Isnomi's birthday, but despite possibly being Ria's favorite, she is presently estranged and missing.

You listening? I think she may know all of them.

Listening and remembering, love. Pay attention to her.

Ria, in full on recital mode, didn't notice my momentary distraction, or if she did she didn't react to it. "Next is Maze on Sallyeh third, followed closely by Lindsey on Howah fourth." She paused her recital a moment to mutter, amusement clear in her tone, "Them being older bothers Alex to no end. Alex's was born on Nyettle twenty-one, followed by David on Mooin seventh, an auspicious birthday to say the least, then Daya on Nyettle twenty-six, and finally Isnomi on Loush twenty-third."

I blinked, realization hitting me. "You know how old each of them is?"

Her brow furrowed a little. "Of course."

I hugged her. "We've got a couple months until your birthday. Is there anything in particular you'd like?"

I'd been feeling pretty good up to that point. Which, of course, is why Murphy took control of Ria's tongue and bitch slapped me in my idiot face. "I'd like my sister Adrienne back."