Dear Diary,

My old ROTC Sergeant told me being in the military is days of mind-numbing boredom broken up by minutes of pants-shitting terror. They never mentioned terrifying boredom. Then again, I think they were trying to sell us on it, what with living in Camden pretty much being exactly the same thing. The mind-numbing and pants-shitting, at least. Terrifying boredom? Not so much.

So after Isnomi got tired of riding her wolf friend around, or more accurately after the poor bastard got too tired to sprint in circles with her on his back any more, she walked him over to us, dismounted, and climbed up Saffron like a cat going up a cat tree. Little menace is part monkey or something, I swear, the way she climbs. The poor wolf just lay there panting. I took pity on him and gave him a whole ration from my backpack. He didn't eat it right away, just lay there panting with a little hint of whine to it.

I took Isnomi from Saffron, held her in front of me to look her straight in the eye and said, "Menace, I think you pushed your new friend a little too far." She looked at me with nothing but confusion in her eyes. "Did you want to hurt your new friend?"

Her eyes got wide. "No!"

Despite wanting to pull her close and cuddle her, I realized I needed to drive this home a little. I turned so she could see him without craning her head too far and said, "look at him. He's so tired he can't even eat. I know you were having fun. Maybe he was too at first, but I think you pushed it a little too far, don't you?"

Her lip stuck out and her eyes watered. "Yah."

"Okay. Go tell your wolf friend you're sorry, and maybe help him get some food in him without puking. You gotta be gentle with friends, Menace." She nodded, and when I set her on the ground she toddled over to the wolf and snuggled up to him before pulling open the package from Drivers' and hand feeding him.

Saffron shook her head. "Not yet a year old and we already have to tell her to watch her strength. Not since the tales of Heracles have I heard of such a thing. I shudder to think what she'll be like when she's grown."

I pulled her close to me and whispered into her hair, "she's a Mor, Kitten. She's not a Demi-God, like Heracles." I pulled away from her just a bit as I realized something. "Was Heracles even a Demigod before he completed his labors?"

She shook her head. "None of Zeus' bastards are born Deific. I think if they were, Hera would have an even bigger tantrum than she does with the mortal ones."

I pulled her close again, murmuring into her hair, "so he was just a mortal with some divine blood. Our eleven-month-old is a Primordial."

When I said that, she tensed, shuddered a bit, then melted against me. Speaking into my chest she said, "I'd really forgotten that. Like my brain doesn't want to hang onto the information. Possibly because it's absolutely terrifying." She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and put her arms around me. "I'd also forgotten, loving an incarnation of terror means I'll occasionally be terrified."

"Regrets?"

She pulled back far enough to smile up at me, "not a damn one."

With that she guided me over to a convenient log, sat me down, and rummaged through my pack for another bundled up ration pack. She fed it to me one bite at a time. The last bite, a tiny bit of roll, was my favorite, because she held it in her teeth and made me come get it. A bit of necking ensued, which lasted until Isnomi crawled up and sat on my lap, giggling as she watched us. You'd think that would be some kind of ice water, but its not like we were doing more than kissing. Okay, one of my hands was definitely seeing how far I could scrunch up the back of her skirt before she stopped me, but that was more affectionate trolling than, y'know, actual sex.

When we stopped to take a breath, she let go of me, lifted Isnomi up, and sat down in my lap. "I think someone is jealous."

I looked down at Isnomi and said, "no need to get jealous about it, Menace. We can share."

Saffron shuddered. "I am feeling more and more like a piece of meat with two carnivores staring at me."

"Aw, c'mon, Kitten. You're not just any cut of meat. You're one of those stupid-pricey filets you can only get at a steakhouse. Right Menace?"

"Yah!"

"Not helping!" she yelped as the menace glomped onto her and started gumming her shoulder.

At that point I had no other alternative; I went for the weak spot and ran my fingers along her side under her arm; she squirmed and giggled too hard to speak. "Does that help at all?"

Of course Isnomi realized what I was doing and started in on her other side. I kept one arm around Saffron. To keep her from falling off my lap. Totally not to keep her from getting away while we tickled her. Eventually, when she gasped for air not unlike the wolf had done earlier, I caught Isnomi's hands and said, "okay, Menace. Enough. We want to make Mom laugh, not suffocate her, right?"

She looked up at me with big eyes and said, "Rye." Then she put her arms around Saffron and said, "Sowy Ma."

Saffron caught her breath enough to lay the side of her head on the top of Isnomi's and say, "it's okay, my girl. You stopped when Momma said. I'm not hurt, just a little out of breath." Then she turned to me, stretched to kiss me on the chin, then scrunched down so she could lay her head on my chest. "Thank you, Goof. I think I needed to laugh."

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"De nada, Kitten. Can you stay a little longer?"

She sighed, then said, "you know what? There's nothing pressing at the moment, so I'll stay until it's time for Isnomi to go to bed."

I didn't bother asking when that would be. I wanted her to stay as long as she could, but I didn't want to push her to stay longer. We sat there, murmuring to one another about nothing much at all, while Isnomi made little wise-sounding hums every now and then. When tiny snores drifted up from Saffron's lap, I leaned down to kiss her. When she pulled away, she said, "until tomorrow, my Goof."

"I'll be waiting, Kitten."

She stood up, careful not to jostle Isnomi awake, and then she was gone.

No change in my dreams. More Mimic likes moss, I guess.

Lancaster came to see me as the troops were breaking camp. He walked up and, without preamble, said, "Commander, we need to talk in private for a moment."

I reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder, then stepped to the tree line. A couple wolves startled, but nothing other than that. I felt a bit of fatigue from pulling him along, but no pain, which was nice. "Okay, what's up?"

"We should be getting to the first farmsteads by late tomorrow. At that point we'll be able to restock our provisions."

"Great. I don't think you pulled me aside for that, though."

He smiled wryly. "No, I did not. At this point we should be seeing some evidence of traffic on the road. We've passed a number of side-trails that lead out to isolated cabins. Trappers, hunters. Woodsmen, most isolated, but a few with families."

I looked around, "it's pretty snowy out still." I hadn't really thought about it, but a gentle snowfall; not enough to ruin visibility, but enough to pile up, had been our constant companion pretty much since we'd left Phileo.

He shook his head. "That might keep some of the family men home, but the singletons wouldn't let something like snow stop them. There's always at least one or two on the road. I'm not certain, but I almost suspect they each deliberately travel at a different time to the others, almost like they've organized a schedule."

That got me curious. "Why?"

He shrugged. "As I said, I'm not certain, but if two of them are trying to sell their hides and such at the same time in the same place, the buyers can use them against each other."

I let out a low chuckle. "Never assume somebody's dumb just because they're a hick, I guess."

He nodded. "Be that as it may, we should have seen at least one. Likely us overtaking them, since they'd have to break trail themselves. At worst we should have seen some evidence of them on the road ahead of us."

I thought about that for a minute, with Lancaster waiting patiently for my response. Didn't quite know what to make of that, but if he was gonna treat me like the Commander of the Expedition like he kept calling me, the least I could do was to try to think like one.

"Okay, so our biggest local threats, in order of dangerousness, would be a Dragon, a drake, a wyvern, or a big-assed bear, right?"

He nodded, but said, "I doubt a bear, no matter how large, could or would disturb a pack this size, nor threaten all of the local trappers at once."

I muttered, "heh. Cocaine Bear," then shook my head and said, "so our threats are flying lizards. Is it better to face them in the trees or out of them?"

He looked a little conflicted when he answered. "Normally I would say in the trees, since that way their movement is impeded. But with our new bows, being in the trees would cut down our range advantage enormously."

I thought about it for a bit, then asked, "if we face them in the trees, we're going to lose people, yes?"

He nodded. "Most likely. We'll lose some in the open unless we get lucky enough to kill it before it closes though."

"Okay. We'll roll the dice on getting lucky, because I don't see a 'getting lucky' option in the trees. You know the road well enough; if something gets close, we double time it to the nearest clear area."

He nodded. "Understood, Commander. Should I wait for your signal, or...?"

I shook my head. "Tell the other Cadets. if anybody catches wind of anything incoming, they sing out, and all the other Cadets pass it along. Units stick together; if somebody falls, carry them until they're back on their feet. If a unit gets overrun, form up, hedgehog style. The road's wide enough for two units to do that."

His 'talking to the Commander' mask fell away for a moment, replaced by a good old fashioned, 'what the fuck, Diaz?' look. "Hedgehog?"

"Shit, I don't know what it's called. You know the shield wall thing we trained the units on? For dealing with incoming volleys or enemy charges? The one where the front is nothing but shields and spears?"

He nodded, "yes. The term is 'phalanx'."

"Okay, like that, except in a ring, so every approach including the top is shielded and pokey."

He blinked. "That's... how do you think of things like that?" For once something of the old Larry showed through, but it was different somehow. "I understand you have a gift for melee combat. Well, having seen you shoot, I should say all forms of combat. But the rest..." His plaintive rant trailed off, but I sensed he had more to say. "The new Spells, knowing how best to combat a Plague, now military formations. Just... how? Are you secretly smarter than your wife, but put on your idiot act to lull everyone into a sense of safety?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm just as much of an idiot as it seems. For the rest? Maybe I'll tell you someday. Maybe. But for now?"

He nodded, his 'Lenny Lancaster, professional General' mask slipping back into place. "Yes, Commander?"

I wiped all sense of humor from my face and said, "my family, my friends, my classmates, my City," I shrugged and added, "my Alliance, now, I guess. Anything that threatens any of them? I will fuck it up beyond all recognition if there is any way I possibly can. Can you work with that?"

He blinked a little. "Classmates?"

I shot him a crooked grin. "Yeah, Larry. Even you. Despite how much you've pissed me off in the past, I told you that day in Doc DeLeon's class; you stop acting like such an entitled ass, I have no problem with you. And it seems like I'm the kind of woman who helps people around her out." I paused a moment, biting back what I'd been about to say. "You good with that? At least for now?"

He nodded. "Yes, Ma'am. If you've nothing else, I'll go tell the other Cadets."

"Here," I put a hand on his shoulder and stepped us to Angel's units' bivouac. "I'll give you a head start." I stepped back to my own units before muttering what I stopped myself from saying to him. "How the hell did I wind up Team Mom?"

As we finished up breaking camp and waited for the other units to move, I sidled over to the Sergeants, waving them to stand side-by-side with me for the first bit. "Just to let you know, if we spot something bigger or scarier than a bear, the plan is to high-tail it for the next defensible location Cadet Lancaster knows of." They both nodded their understanding, and I drifted back out to my place on their flank. As we moved out, I saw the wolves around us moving as well, shadowing us like they had previously.

If you've never spent an entire day with your head on a swivel, jumping at every goddamn noise, twitching every time you saw a fuckin' bird?

Yeah, terrifying boredom. That shit sucks.