Dear Diary,

If I were a better person, telling myself once that I'm not the villain and am not going to engage in mass murder would be enough.

Last night Saffron came back and Marie and I worked to rub her down until she fell asleep. Some part of me felt guilty that I got to sleep in the same bed as my wife while the rest of the Grand Army had to rough it in the woods, but then I thought about how Saffron was pretty much the entire reason none of them had gotten so much as a combat related hang nail so far. Apparently there had been a couple instances of general stupidity that wound up with a unit getting sent to the rear because someone fell down out of a tree, or got shot by somebody who didn't know how to handle their crossbow despite all the training, or some other case of 'non-combat-related' casualty. That struck me as weird, at first, that they'd send an entire fifteen man unit back because one person got injured, but apparently that's because they train in their units to the point where they're not quite interchangeable parts, where the units themselves kinda are.

At any rate, spent the night vibing again. The itching has localized a bit more, I think? it's gotten more intense, but it's just a particular area along my side now. Nowhere near the water or the rivulet under me, or even the rocky area I've been scratching myself against. If it wasn't for that last, I'd think it was some kind of dry skin problem. Maybe sunburn? Except, y'know, no sun. Is it kinda weird that I dream about the same time of day that it is in non-dream-time? I think it's weird. My subconscious is probably trying to tell me something, like 'seize the day' or 'get more sleep' or something. Really kinda wish I had that old dream journal right about now.

Woke to Isnomi worming her way in between us. Trying to make sure Saffron got enough sleep, I Mimicked her and offered our daughter her breakfast, but the little one just grumped at me until I shifted back. Apparently she wanted to be the middle of the cuddle puddle more than she wanted milk. Honestly, I kinda got that. I may pack down food like nobody's business, but that's because I like the taste and I'm not anywhere near 'full'. If somebody said 'you can lie there cuddling with your family if you skip breakfast'? I'd skip breakfast.

If you're wondering, that's exactly what we all did. Saffron barely got up in time to throw on a uniform and get back to her unit before daybreak. Marie followed her out, Isnomi perched on her cart. That left me to get ready on my own. I'm almost one hundred percent certain I didn't put anything on inside-out. Almost.

When I stumbled into Geography and World Cultures the room stood empty. I sat there kinda nodding off for I don't really know how long. I figured I'd gotten there before breakfast really ended, and that everyone would show up any time now. No joy. Eventually, after waking up from a nap where I dreamed about doing my dead level best to nap despite the risen sun up in the sky throwing popcorn at me while it bitched about violence in media. Yeah, I know, but it's a dream. It's not supposed to fucking make sense.

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At any rate, woke up and figured something must have happened, so I wandered up the floors where the faculty had their offices and hunted up Doc DeLeon. Again, no joy; the only profs I saw were a couple people I hadn't had as instructors. I nodded politely in passing, and they did the same. Eventually, after meandering for what must have been the better part of an hour, I made my way to the Headmaster's office.

"Tabitha. We missed you at breakfast today."

I shrugged, "wasn't really hungry."

"Fair. Did someone tell you about my announcement?"

"Nope."

He held in a sigh. "Of course they didn't. Starting today, we're opening up recruitment again. I think most of your friends are over in Camden Yards again today."

"That would explain the general ghost town feel here. I'll get to it then?"

He nodded. "Be about it."

I left his office, checked with the Guard at the door, and headed out for the Yards.

Apparently the 'Damn Army finally decided that they'd had enough of run away, dig in, get bombarded, run away again. As I started to walk along the Boulevard, Saffron sent me a vision of her opening fire. This time, the moment after she fired, 'Damn soldiers popped up on either side of the impact point and charged. Somewhere around a hundred paces away our new crossbowmen fired, and the charge faltered, both because lots of guys got hit, and because the ones following them tripped over the bodies. When the enemy hit seventy paces or so, the crossbows twanged again, and the charge got even more raggedy. At just about forty paces, the crossbows fired a third time, and the charge broke down completely. What hit the front wasn't so much a charge as one guy in four stumbling into contact with our line.

The moment the wall of meat between Saffron and the enemy cleared the attackers off, she'd prepped Vulcan again, and he pretty much broke the second charge on his own. Somehow instead of the mostly spherical explosions he'd made when pelting the enemy in their crude foxholes, the shockwave from where his bolt hit spread sideways, parallel to the Grand Army's front line. The remaining 'Damn soldiers on the field took that as a hint that they should just lie down, run, or do something other than 'charging blindly at Big Poppa Lancaster's 'Damn killing machine.

They didn't charge again today, although at one point in the afternoon some of the injured 'Damn soldiers on the field raised impromptu white flags. I half thought Lancaster would just order them all shot, but instead he dispatched some Cadets with an extra unit or two each to escort the POWs to a holding area back by the river. I kinda hoped he'd put Saffron on that detail, but even I knew that was a forlorn hope. He wanted his new field artillery piece right next to him where he could keep an eye on her.

Those of us working the recruitment station down by Drivers got a half dozen new Volunteers each. We still couldn't officially sign them up, but all of them passed our tests with flying colors, so I took the time to write up contracts for them, so all they had to do at the Academy was get the official stamp of approval and sign things.

I got an entire piece of Momma Driver's chocolate cake to myself, but I almost couldn't finish it, what with Saffron not being there to steal it from me.

Wouldn't that be a hell of a 'heroic tale'? 'Tabitha got frustrated by lack of Date Night at Drivers and Chose Violence.'

Every day I get a little closer to lime fuckin' green.