Dear Diary,

Y'know, I realized pretty early in the Calverton campaign that I had to delegate shit, because so much of what needs to be done in a big military operation like that requires skills that I just don't have. Okay, technically, I passed Marshall duBois' Strategy and Logistics class, so if I could get actual Skills, I'd have them, but I can't, and even if I studied the material I still kinda suck at it. Like, I know what needs to be done. If you sat me down with pen and paper and no distractions, I might be able to list it all out. If I didn't get a sudden burst of 'what is paper' and 'how I mine for words' and 'object permanence? What's that? Does it taste good?' So technically I can do it, but I recognized right away that there were a whole group of people who were better at it than me, and if I learned nothing else from duBois' classes overall, it's to put my fuckin' pride aside when other people's lives are on the line.

So I delegated.

I never really thought that the same fuckin' thing would work with parenting. I mean, on the face of it that shit sounds pretty fuckin' awful. 'Oh, I'll delegate my parenting duties to someone else'. Like, okay, I get that I do a big chunk of the 'play with the kids' and if a Dire Bear were running at us, I'd expect Saffron and Siobhan to hustle the kids off while Marie and I went to procure some bear steaks, but that's just smart division of labor, not delegation. Telling one of the other three to do a thing because I don't want to. Or even because I suck at it. But I never actually thought about delegating some particularly thorny bit of parenting to the kids themselves.

Thing is, it makes sense once I get past the absurdity of it. Isnomi putting together an entire project of getting her sisters kitted out for flying with her not only buys the rest of us some time to be ready to, y'know, keep eyes on them and act as ground crew, but it also shows her that sometimes when she asks for something that she thinks is simple, it takes a whole lot of shit behind the scenes to make it happen. So when she asks and it happens, maybe she'll appreciate it more. Maybe when she asks and we have to tell her 'wait', or even 'no', she gets that we're not just being mean. All that shit just makes sense.

But her second birthday isn't until next month. She's not even two. Not even two and she's already starting to show signs of being just as much of a boss bitch as her Mom. Somehow I'm supposed to be the mature one faced with that. Sure as shit if she goes off on a tantrum and one of us has to physically restrain her, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who has a chance in hell of doing so without actually hurting her. Which I wouldn't want to do. Pretty sure if I have to, I'm gonna wind up getting hurt, too. Really hope if that happens I don't snap at her. I mean, I really hope it doesn't happen in the first place. I'm hoping setting a good example and doing the gentle parenting thing and using words rather than hands will rub off.

But I worry.

Still, that little bit of inspiration bought me like half a day of peace while I played with the kids, played seat cushion for Saffron while she coded, helped Marie around the house, sat in companionable silence with Grandma Aetos while we watched Siobhan work, and did calisthenics and sprints in the Practice Yard. I tried some basic isometrics, but stopped when the pavers shifted. Fixed the pavers, but shit, I wish I could find a weight set that would give me an actual workout. I have this feeling, totally unfounded, that the moment I say 'hey, I'm good, I'm strong enough now, I can just do maintenance', I'll wind up facing some shit that I'm just not quite strong enough to deal with. That would really suck.

Best part of the morning had to be Grandma Aetos, at one point when Siobhan bent at the waist to reach a Cadet lying prone on a cot, saying, "nice view." While I choked on nothing, she smirked at me and said, "you collecting blondes for my daughter or something?"

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I think my brain froze at that point, because my mouth went on autopilot and replied, "I already got the best brunette, and she seems to like them, so..."

Old biddy laughed her ass of at that. Almost missed it when, after she settled down, she muttered, "I'm glad she has you."

Of course, right after lunch, Isnomi cornered me. "Mama, I need to thee Conwad."

I scooped her up, stepped over to Maze and said, "can you take over for a bit?" When she nodded, I stepped us to the Academy Suite in front of the armoire.

Isnomi looked up at me, and I pulled the armoire door open, then nodded at the door in the back of it. "Well, go ahead." When she reached for the door I coughed and said, "the Workshop is your brother's private space. Knocking would be polite."

So she rapped on his door. A moment later, it slid open, and she looked straight at where he'd popped in from the far side of the opening. "Sister! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Hewwo Conwad. I need hang gwidews."

I sighed. "Menace, what do you say?"

She sighed and hung her head a little. "Sowwy, brudda. Can you pwease make hang gwidews fowah owa thithtews?"

He looked up at me, and I shrugged and nodded down to the Menace. "Somebody pointed out to her that her sisters might want to fly with her. No point in asking them before she knew whether or not she could get them hang gliders of their own."

"How very... mature. Tell me about these sisters of ours, dear Menace."

So I sat there most of the afternoon while Isnomi talked to Conrad about her sisters. I definitely learned things about how she viewed them. Funny, she said Lindsey reminded her of Marie. Alex reminding her of me wasn't that big of a shock, what with the whole wannabe Hero thing. She compared Daya and David to Sister Siobhan, although she definitely said David was the girlier of the pair. Maze reminded her of Saffron. The big shock of the day, both for me and for Conrad, I think, was when she told Conrad that Ria 'smelled like him'. He didn't take it badly, but I definitely noticed his discomfort with the idea of one of his siblings being 'like' him.

Got home surprisingly worn out. Fell asleep in the tub. Dreamt of trying to find that bar of liquid light from the other day. Stupid fatass melanistic orange tabby.

Spent most of Wednesday just chilling. When I asked Saffron if she minded losing her booster seat, she laughed and said, "after you powering the Black Dragon by yourself on Moonday, and then Co-Locating everywhere while pushing yourself in the Yard on Tyrsday? I'm not surprised your a little tired." She pulled me into a hug, then said, "rest, love. You've earned it and more. Remember Marshall duBois' lesson?"

It took me a second, then I snorted. "So, time for me to rest up, to refill that well of tough I'll need when things go to shit and it's time to fuck shit up?"

She laughed, and a few moments later attached Siobhan to me. "Concubine Darling, I've some delicate work with the Grand Council today; can you see that our Champion takes the rest she so dearly deserves and requires?"

Siobhan's eyes had lit up with Saffron's first two words, and when Saffron finished speaking, she smiled and said, "could you..."

As she went silent, blushing, Saffron raised a hand to cup her cheek and said, "ask, Siobhan."

"Could you call me that again?" she whispered.

Saffron let go of me, turned to face Siobhan, cupping Siobhan cheeks in her hands to draw our Concubine's mouth down to her own. "As often as you like, Darling."

That kiss definitely went directly in the pearl polishing folder. New core horny memory unlocked. All without Siobhan's hands doing anything other than clinging to Saffron's elbows, while Saffron's remained on Siobhan's cheeks. On her face.

Of course, when she finished, while Siobhan tried desperately to remain vaguely vertical, Saffron turned to me, hopped up to kiss me, then said, "be good for Sister Siobhan Darling. You really do need your rest."

Sometimes my life here and now leaves me a little confused. Sometimes a lot. Mostly I just roll with it. I mean, that's what I did today. But I never thought 'being an obedient and faithful spouse' would involve letting the Concubine my wife seemed more attracted to than me keep me from acting on that new pearl polishing image all day. Mostly by taking very good care of said polishing herself.

First world problems. Gotta love 'em.