Dear Diary,

Y'know, sometimes I get what I think is a good idea, but it turns out to be a dud. Other times it really is as good an idea as I thought, but somehow I wind up fucking it up. Jury's still out on the new 'Lancasters', but it seems almost like this is one of those rare occasions where I get an idea, it sounds cool, I implement it, and do not fuck it up beyond all recognition. Of course, that might be because I got help at every step of the way.

Seriously, I got Jon's help making the things, and I kinda suspect he's one of the guys who came up with the Squadballs in the first place. Okay, maybe not 'came up with', but definitely was involved in making the ones they use at the Academy. Then I pulled in Karen and Larry to help me test out the weight and reach and whether or not they actually work as Mana Blade Trainers.

The answer on that, by the way, is a qualified 'maybe'. The reach is just about right for a typical Mana Blade, inasmuch as there is a 'typical' Mana Blade. Larry and Slayer are the only ones with a fixed length and width, so I guess he's the metric to compare everything to. He complained a little about the grip not being great, but then Slayer's grip is still the grip from his old sword, which was custom crafted to fit his hand. Unlike the batons, which are gonna be mass produced to be equally shitty for everybody. Good Training and all that. Of course, Karen pointed out that she and I and Saffron all extrude them from wrists or hands rather than holding them like a sword. Then she kind of killed her own point when she admitted that most Mana Blade users, at least any who can't get Mana straight from their Deity or carry a few close friends in a backpack to feed them Mana through a Network, will probably do some kind of Artificing to create an item to handle the actual Shaping. Larry's Blade pulls straight from Mimic's nigh endless Mana supply, but apparently objects that do 'Mana in, Shape out' are a little more efficient than manually Shaping stuff. Which means Slayer is using Mimic's limitless Mana efficiently. Sort of like LED bulbs in a reactor control room, but I'm not gonna complain.

Short version, they're the right length, roughly the right width, and they'll get the Cadets used to 'if the Blade hits you, you're fucked, so dodge, parry, or get fucked'.

After two nights of the Lancasters visiting, our girls seemed a little down when we all went up for baths. Menace swam over to me as my ladies and I lay there soaking in the heat, then clambered up to sit right on top of my tits. Fortunately she's still on the small side, and she'd decided to stay at her smallest. "Mama?"

"Yes, Menace?"

"You should 'dopt Lucas."

I blinked. "Uh, he has two parents, both of whom are more than capable of parenting him. Not to mention a pair of nursemaids."

"You 'dopted Ria tho."

I nodded. "Yeah, although technically we're Fostering her."

"Whas differenth?"

I shrugged. "From my perspective? Not much at all. She's my daughter. She's still Tallulah's daughter though. I think Lady Crow thinks she's safer and happier here, and that's why she hasn't made a big deal out of how it started as kind of a political thing maybe."

"So Foster Lucas?"

I snorted. "Why exactly are you so keyed up about getting Lucas to live here?"

"He'th fun!"

"He's two months old. He's less interactive than you were when I met you. He drinks milk, shits, and thinks 'peek a boo' is the height of mystery games."

"He'th thtill fun."

"I'll tell you what. Bonnie and Larry both liked the Bath. I'll let them know they've got a standing invitation to visit, and I'm sure they'll show at least once every couple weeks."

She pouted a little, but accepted that compromise. "Wanna not be littlest."

"That is a really awful reason to adopt someone, you know." She just shrugged, so I snuggled her and said, "wanna know a secret?" She nodded, eyes wide, "You know your Mom and I are gonna marry Marie, right?"

"Yeth! I be floweh giw 'gain!"

"Yes you will! But you remember last time you talked about wanting a little sister?" She nodded, and I pulled her in close to whisper, "when we're married, Marie and I are gonna make you one."

She gasped. So cute. "Wiwwy?"

At that point Marie ended the conversation as she was wont to do by saying, "Several."

Yeah, not sure I'm copacetic with the idea of doubling our child loadout with one pregnancy, but honestly? Fuck it. She does most of the work anyhow, so if she wants more, all I'mma say is 'Go Murder Mittens Go'. I mean, I'll help out every way I can, and I'm sure Saffron and even Siobhan will as well, but let's face it, I may be slightly more maternal than a cheese grater now that I've started to grow up a little, but Marie would absolutely win any momming competition she was entered into, hands down.

Got a full night's sleep, dreaming of the ladies melting in my Maw almost like they'd done in the Bath earlier. Gotta get Tallulah back up to the Bath sometime soon, she really ought to touch base with Ria at least once a week, working Boss Mom or not.

When the Combat Training class formed up, I let them know the schedule was a warmup run, stretching, an hour of paired Isometrics, then Squadball until lunch, then Squadball until about two hours before dinner. Of course, I didn't tell them about the changes until after I had them all warmed up and ready to go.

With them all broken out into teams, but looking around for the conspicuously absent Squadballs, I announced, "starting today, we won't be using Squadballs. Instead," I stepped away to the smithy, stepped back with two bags full of the new lancasters, then started tossing one to each team. "we'll be using these. All the other rules remain the same."

I'd kept my attention divided between my three problem children, and their reactions were noteworthy. Citron head tilted a little, but on testing the weight realized that the batons were balanced not unlike swords. No bet whether he'd had the same general kind of sword training as Larry before coming to the Academy. Hildegarde... there's this kind of slow motion feral grin I've seen some people get, and she definitely got one right then. Where Citron held his baton in one hand, working his wrist to see what motions worked and what didn't with the less than perfectly swordlike grip, Hildegarde grabbed it with both hands like a fuckin' baseball bat. I had no doubt she would be attempting to use Citron's head like a ball. Fuck it, nobody here was a Sidhe, so I could Revive them with normal amounts of Mana if need be.

Vickerson's response shouldn't have been surprising. She raised her hand, using the lancaster to make it a little more obvious, and when I nodded to her asked, "why the change, Ma'am?"

I smiled at her, trying to be all mysterious, probably failing badly, but fuck it, gotta make your own fun when you can. "I'll be explaining that before dinner. Right now I don't want to give you guys any preconceptions."

"So how are we supposed to use them?"

I shrugged. Then I picked one of the extras out of the bag and turned to face the nearest wall. "You can throw them like this," I tossed it like I'd seen dudes throw throwing knives, tumbling end over end until it bounced off the wall and came back to me. duBois training for the win, I managed to catch the sucker before it brained me. Stung a little, but such is the price of looking cool. "Or you could maybe make it harder to dodge by doing this," I threw it at the wall again, only this time the spin was horizontal, turning it into a chest-height wooden weed whacker. This time when it bounced it flew off to the side, and I stepped over and caught it before it brained one of the Cadets prematurely. "You can also do this, which is easier to dodge, but maybe a little more accurate, and harder to block." I wound up and threw it like a javelin. It bounced off the wall again, this time coming straight back at me. Dunno what Jon did to the things to give them that kind of bounce, but definitely glad for all that time learning to catch shit flying at my face back when I was in Combat Training. "Or," I said, stepping over to right in front of her, "you can do like Cadets Citron and Hildegarde seem to prefer, and just tap somebody with it." I gently bopped her on the top of the head, causing a little of the red powder to mark her.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

She shook her head to get the powder off, but otherwise seemed to understand. "For today, we're starting with one lancaster per team."

"Lancaster, Ma'am?" asked Citron.

I shrugged. "Just a working name. You can call them batons if you prefer. Or just 'New Squadballs'. Any more questions?"

That got a general reply of 'no, Ma'am', so I put the rest of the batons away and, after letting them all get to their spots and setting up the Wards marking each team's 'starting area', let loose the dogs of war.

Big winner in terms of points scored or rounds won today was Vickerson's team. Dunno where she got the idea, but they went 'all Casters', then moved as a unit from team to team, taking out opposing Casters and taking their batons until all four of them were armed. For what it's worth, their whole team and most of the others got the idea pretty quick that it didn't take a full on swing to make a resounding 'bonk' noise and a puff of red on somebody, so they didn't. Most of them also got really into the spirit of 'dodge, parry, or get bopped', with only one weird dude from Norfolk actually seeming to find getting bopped funny or fun.

Then there were Citron and Hildegarde. Every round, their teams basically formed a circle around the two of them, giving them a little arena to duke it out in. First round Hildegarde managed to ring Citron's bell but good. No concussion, no need for an Infirmary visit or even a Heal, but he did go from upright and poised to sitting on his ass blinking in zero point zero seconds flat. I almost thought I'd have to intervene when she raised her baton in a two handed grip, but all she did was bring it down on his baton, which he'd retained his grip on, and knock it out of his hand.

We got three full rounds in before lunch, and the next two rounds he managed to adjust to the fact that Hildegarde hit like a fuckin' freight train. I think she'd been doing some weight training or something, or maybe it was just getting a decent high protein diet for the first time in her life, but she'd put on some serious muscle since start of Season. Still nothin' next to me or Angel or Bill, but impressive enough that Citron took her seriously. Of course, that meant the next two rounds he managed to take her out; the first time he managed to smack her hands, then the baton, which disarmed her, at which point he just bopped her firmly on the shoulder. Right before lunch though I did wind up having to intervene, because even if I would have been pissed by somebody smacking me on the ass with a lancaster, it was still well within the rules. Shit, it wasn't even life threatening or anything. Okay, not for her. For him, it might have qualified as assisted suicide if I hadn't stepped over, then stepped her to the roof for a moment, Co-Locating to keep a presence in the Yard.

"Oi! Cadet! Chill!"

"You saw what he did!"

I nodded. "Yeah. Took you out with a shot to the ass."

"He slapped me. On the ass. With his baton."

"Yeah, and?"

She screamed incoherently, and might have leapt back to the Yard if I hadn't been holding her by one shoulder. At which point she realized that burgeoning muscles or no, I was still stronger than her by enough that I didn't even move when she lunged. "Tell me you wouldn't be mad if he did that to you!"

I shook my head. "Oh, I'd be mad. Mad at him for being a jerk about it. Mad at myself for telegraphing so bad he could pull that kind of shit. Oh, I'd be all kinds of mad. But I wouldn't lose my shit unproductively."

"Oh, and how do I 'productively' lose my shit?"

I smiled at her. "You do a pretty good job normally. Tell me you aren't working out some anger every Sunday." She just grumped at me. "Yeah, thought so." I paused, then said, "Look, Cadet. I'd be lying if I said I never kicked the shit out of another Cadet and enjoyed it. If you've got balls big enough, ask Laurence Lancaster about our sparring match some time. Or Karen Smith about her 'escort mission'. But you gotta keep it within the rules of engagement."

"Which are?"

"You know that, but just to be clear, you can only hit him with the baton, and once either of you land a hit, it's over until the next match." She huffed out a sigh, but nodded. "You got it under control?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Okay, it's time for lunch. Think about how he beat you those last two rounds. Learn from it. Come back better after lunch."

She did. Oh, fuck did she ever. By the end of the day, she'd been sent to the Infirmary for crushed phalanges twice. Meanwhile he'd only gone down to the Infirmary once, but even though I could find out by shapeshifting and getting stupid, I don't think I will go to that extent to find out what an actual crushed testicle feels like. Seriously, she only got one hit in for every two of his, but then, she hadn't been trained in the sword, and just about every hit she got was some kind of really wild full body feint followed by a parry or dodge that put her in a position to bring that fuckin' baton around at him with every ounce of strength she could. At one point she got him right in the forehead with an overhand chop. He parried, but somehow she managed to avoid him deflecting the force, and drove his own baton into his nose as hers caught him on the forehead. Not hard enough to crack his skull or anything, and I did check, but definitely hard enough to ring his bell and keep him sitting on the paver right the fuck there until the next round.

Funniest round of the day had to be the last, when due to fatigue or learning curve or whatever, the two went head to head, neither one tagging the other, until Vickerson's squad leapt into their section of the Yard and proceeded to first take out Citron and Hildegarde's teammates, then come at the pair of them. Vickerson herself nearly got Hildegarde from behind, and Citron blew my mind when he parried that shit. Then looked Vickerson right in the eye and said, "wait your turn!" Then kinda spoiled his point by bopping her upside the head. A moment later two of her teammates caught him from behind, one on each shoulder. Hildegarde went off. Like, I don't know if she appreciated his save, or just got pissed somebody else took him out, but two of Vickerson's teammates wound up needing infirmary visits for broken arms. The last one managed to get her, a two handed bonk right to the crown of her head which set her on her ass without actually breaking anything. Still a pretty good showing for the whole 'learn to do by doing' thing.

I got permission from Siobhan to bring those two back up before she saw them, their arms held straight by the simple expedient of wrapping some gauze around their lancasters. I didn't want them to miss the point of the exercize.

Karen? Could you bring Larry to the Practice Yard?

A moment later, the pair arrived, both in their Cadet uniforms. While everybody looked on curiously, I pulled out a Squadball I'd saved for this occasion. "Okay, guys. you all know Squadball is meant to help you learn a bit about squad tactics, and to get you used to the kind of combat that Heroes excel at. Right?" They all nodded. "Thing is, combat has moved well beyond 'I hit you with a rock'" I mimed smacking somebody with the Squadball, and that got a few laughs.

Citron raised his hand though. "Isn't Squadball meant to help get Cadets used to utilizing offensive Shapes and Spells in combat though?"

I nodded. "Yeah, to an extent, but," I tossed the ball up and down in my hand. "This would be an equivalent to a Fire Bolt or something like that, right?" He nodded. I shouted, "Karen! Shields up!" and without any other warning threw a Fire Bolt at her. It splashed off the Mana Ward she'd instinctively thrown up at my shout. Nice job.

Good think I didn't have an actual shield.

Yeah, I'd have thrown at Larry if he had his Dragonslayer shield with him, just to underscore the point.

"As you can see, direct spells like that can be countered, and the ephemeral nature of them means that the target can leave their Ward, or if their defense is some form of armor like Cold Iron or Dragon Hide, just come at you while you're catching your breath. On the other hand, Larry? Slayer?"

He extended the blade, and I lobbed the Squadball at him. It landed in quarters. "As you can see, the state of the art in Combat Shapes is, in fact, Mana Blades. Cadets Smith and Lancaster, would you be so kind as to demonstrate a bit for the class?"

"Rules of Engagement, Commander?"

I smiled as the class kind of boggled at Larry fuckin' Lancaster, Heir Lancaster and current ruler of the House itself, called me 'Commander'. "Try not to injure or kill each other? That shit's a pain to fix."

He smiled. "No or light contact, no contact preferred." He turned to face Karen. "Ready?"

She rolled her neck, shook out her shoulders, then extended a Mana Blade from each wrist. "I think this is somewhat in your favor, but I'm ready when you are."

About thirty seconds in, I couldn't help myself, and the Duel of the Fates started playing. Low, just background music, but holy hell it fit. Larry was definitely better than Karen, no question, but she'd known that from the start, and fought almost entirely defensively, not to mention reconfiguring her Mana Blades on the fly a couple times, something Larry couldn't match. Back and forth across the end of the Yard they sparred, stopping whenever one of them had a clear shot, or a couple times when one of them tapped the other just hard enough to leave a burn mark on their jacket. By the end of the demonstration, the score was nineteen for Larry, three for Karen, but it hadn't ever been intended as a real competition; just a demonstration.

I turned to my absolutely rapt audience, picked up one of the batons, held it in one hand while I extended a Mana Blade from the other. "You guys get the point yet?"