Dear Diary,

"He that is jealous is not in love."

- Saint Augustine

Huh. Y'know, past couple days I've read some bangers about how jealousy is a problem, but I never really expected anybody with any religious chops from back at Eastside to come down against it. I mean, isn't there a whole 'my God is a Jealous God' thing in the Commandments? No, seriously, I have no fuckin' clue, I just thought I remembered something about that. Do I look like a religious scholar? I mean, yeah, I'm married to somebody who is both religious, a scholar, and I think actually qualifies as a religious scholar, but that doesn't mean she knows shit about a religion which doesn't even exist in this world.

But knowing that even some dude who got canonized spoke out against jealousy makes me feel a lot better. Which is totally weird, since I've been told that jealousy is anathema to the Goddess of Marital Devotion by the actual Goddess herself, AKA Sigyn, AKA Mom. Which, in a really weird way has just circumvented an entire guilt trip that I just realized I was booked for in advance. Because if I can be copacetic with my tiny tyrant and towering tigress spending quality time together without me when I've got to have my focus elsewhere, or just because, y'know, they wanna? And I can be completely non-calm in the absolute horniest of ways at the thought of either or both of them getting it on with somebody other than me?

I sure as shit can not worry about the Mom I popped out of back in the world of Eastside feeling some kinda way about me calling someone else Mom. Like, I'm married now, and people with healthy relationships with their in laws call them 'Mom' or 'Dad' all the time, right? So me getting adopted by an older couple after she died and being comfortable enough with them to call them Mom and Dad? If something happens to me, and Marie and Saffron find a new chica to join their marriage? I absolutely hope that she takes good enough care of Menace and the Horde that they wind up calling her Mom. Or, y'know, some other Mom-like derivative, since Isnomi has clearly sidestepped the whole 'which Mom are you calling for' by giving us each our own Mom name.

The part of me that still can't believe anybody would really want to be married to me wants to call it lazy that I'm glad my kid is so smart that she's obviously got her shit together more than me, but I'm gonna call it a parenting win and go on about my day.

I absolutely was watching through Saffron's eyes when I pulled D out of his diner into the light of sunset. He'd been looking at me, vaguely amused as I towed him along by the hand. Then he looked up, and his face was absolutely a study in mixed emotions. First his smile widened as he realized we'd brought two dozen of his Europan Maenads to visit. His eyes even twinkled a bit as he noticed the refugees, what with at least one of them being one of his High Priestesses. Then a bit of confusion as he realized that each and every Maenad in the group had a little bundle in her arms, and at least two of them had those bundles breastfeeding. Horror flooded his eyes and washed out onto his face as he blurted out, "are those all mine?"

I gotta tell you. Despite all the evidence for it, I keep forgetting that Marie has a wicked sense of humor. Apparently that's a pretty common trait among the Maenads, especially the ones who haven't been denied access to D for a couple centuries, because after some really fast glances at each other and the Maries in attendance, they all looked him right in the eye and chorused, "Yes."

I swear that fucker is heavier than he looks, and he looks like a seven to eight foot tall dude with a strong man build. I swear to god, dude must weigh at least four hundred pounds.

Four hundred twenty six, give or take a bit.

Give or take?

He's got a big stomach.

Dude, I've eaten like, a whole cow's worth of food and not had the slightest bit of food baby.

He's a God of Excess. He does.

Oh, shit. Glad I haven't picked up anything like that Domain.

You'd rather be plagued by the guilt you feel when Bloodlust overwhelms you than feel bloated?

Shit yeah. Anywho, thanks Boss, you're the best.

I know.

So now I know I can lift over four hundred pounds when it hits my shoulders fast, because at that 'yes', D's knees went out from under him. A moment later a pair of Maries showed up to either side of him, but I nodded to one of the ones with us who'd worn Glowing Midnight today. I mean, if he's gonna be surrounded by my pretty ladies, I'm gonna make sure they're looking their best, right? Can't let the side down. They swapped places, and by the time something resembling comprehension came back to his eyes, he had a black clad Marie under each arm. He looked up at one, then the other, and said, "did I get shorter?"

"Heels for the win, D."

"Why would I want them taller than me?"

I looked at my Murder Mittens, smiled, flashed a couple images into her head, and said, "show him, Mittens."

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One of her walked away. And by 'walked' I mean swayed, her tail emphasizing every bit of sash in her shay. His eyes were absolutely locked onto her, and I can't blame him, because I was too. I think one or two of her sisters got some speculative looks, and wondered if the Phileo or Lancaster bootmakers would wind up getting some new customers. Then she turned, and I did as well, just to see the look on D's face when the Marie under his arm pushed him back to the wall beside the door and planted one size holy shit boot on the wall over his shoulder.

"Forgive my presumption, little sister. Your argument is utterly unassailable."

Doing one of those stupidly flexible moves she'd shown me on the mast of the Black Dragon, she leaned her head over his other shoulder, bringing her mouth to his ear, and said, "Children."

His eyes glazing over maybe a little bit, he nodded like a bobblehead, "absolutely. You want children? We can make some right..."

"No." Along with cutting him off, she flicked his forehead with one claw as she whipped her leg back around to stand in front of him. Before he could do more than look surprised, she stepped back to his side and pushed his chin around to look at the gathered Maenads and their kids.

"Oh. Right. Those."

I stepped up to his other side and said, "what's wrong, dude? It's not like you're not already playing foster dad for your sister's kids."

He shrugged, seeming to deflate a little. "But... I know nothing of how to raise children."

I gave him a quick sisterly squeeze around the middle, feeling Marie do the same from the other side. "Dude, seriously, you think I'm the greatest parent in the world? Shit, if it weren't for Marie, Isnomi would be positively feral by now. Just... do dad things."

"Dad things?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Tell them stories. Play with them. Shit, at that age just carry them around and make funny faces. Take some turns feeding them when they're big enough, maybe hold them to let your ladies get some rest. It's not fuckin' rock... not brain surgery, man."

He shook his big assed head, made even bigger by his shaggy hair and beard, and said, "we will speak of this again, little sister."

I nodded. "Any time you need to talk, sure. But right now? You got some doing to do." Marie and I propelled him toward the waiting Maenads.

While he went and greeted the crowd, taking time to speak with each of them and carefully coo over the babies, one of the Maenads handed her baby to him and came over to Saffron and I. "House."

I looked at Saffron. It was her Grandma's house, after all. Surprisingly, she shook her head. "Not until I'm certain you'll have food for the ones ready to be weaned." When the Maenad got a bit of a mulish look, Saffron reached out and took her by the hand. "I've just thought of the perfect way." Turning to the crowd, she called out, "one last place to visit before we head to our homes. If you would be so kind as to join us, Lord?"

He turned, wary, but nodded. I leaned into D's diner and hollered, "Artemis, c'mere, bring any kids who're staying the night." A small horde flowed through the door at least a dozen, followed by the blindfolded goddess herself. "Okay everybody, join hands!" Once we had everybody in contact, I turned to Saffron and said, "lead on, Kitten."

I wasn't surprised when, backed up by me and a half dozen Maries, she stepped us to the lot in front of Drivers. Well, what was left of it. I'd been completely irrationally worried that the gruesome remains of Peter Pennypack would be sitting there somehow, but other than a pillory with a little plaque on it, no evidence remained of that. In fact, the entire empty lot was one big construction zone. No idea what they were building, but it was gonna be like, City Hall big at least.

I stepped to the doors hand in hand with Saffron, waving the others along behind us. When we got inside, Mrs. Driver saw us and smiled, then got a little bit wide eyed when D followed us in. "Excuse me, Grand Councilwoman Driver, I hate to have to bother you here, but..."

I watched as a kind of change slipped over Mrs. Driver, almost as pronounced as her whole Kawaii Overload Berserker Mode. She straightened up, her smile got a lot less silly, if no less warm, and she nodded. "What did you need, dear?"

"Lord Dionysus requires the aid of the Alliance for a time. Not a great deal, but," she paused as she stepped aside and waved D further into the diner. The Maenads followed, and I watched yet another change come over Mrs. Driver, her smile becoming far less fixed, far more maternal. "Can you ensure that his Maenads have what they need to feed and clothe his little ones?"

Mrs. Driver nodded. "Absolutely, dear. I take it they've not had dinner yet?"

Saffron shook her head, and she smiled, no doubt looking at the chocolate cake on the counter. "If you don't mind?"

In answer, Mrs. Driver just banged on the window into the kitchen and hollered, "keep the grill hot, we've got guests!"

In the end, we left eight of the Maenads at the old Aetos place with all the kids and as many leftovers as the rest of the Maenads could carry. Mrs. Driver assured them she'd have one of her waitresses check in on them, and that they were welcome to come to Drivers on the daily for as long as they needed.

Saffron looked more than a little put out when it was down to just the three of us in the bathroom getting ready for bed. "What's wrong, love?"

She sighed. "I need to redo the ceilings in the new house."

"Why?"

"Clearance."

I just stared, confused, until she grabbed Marie and I and stepped us to the Love Shack, then with a gesture had Marie back in Glowing Midnight. "Show her."

Marie chuckled, then kicked one leg up. Okay, she tried, but she had to bend her knee, because her leg would have gone at least a couple inches into the ceiling, and that's before Glowing Midnight's elevator stilettos. "Oh. Yeah. Definitely. Taller ceilings. Absolutely. But..."

My Kitten turned to look up at me while Marie just flexed on both of us by holding that pose. "But what?"

I shrugged. "Thinkin' about puzzles."

"Puzzles."

"Puzzle pieces, really."

"Puzzle pieces?"

I nodded, bopped Glowing Midnight onto her, spun her around, and propelled her toward Marie with a hand on her butt. She stared, a little flummoxed. "How did we not discover this on the mast of the Black Dragon?"

"Didn't think of it. Taller ceilings?"

I didn't get an answer, but that's fine too. Kitten seemed happy with my new discovery.

Mimic dreamt of skies raining beer. Not even cheap beer, but the good sweet stuff where the bitterness just accentuates the sweet.

Nothing super exciting happened during the day. Maze played with the kids per her sister's Wednesday decree. I played seat cushion and watched from the mast. In Advanced Mana Shaping, I had Doc Roberts run me through a quick and dirty lesson on his Mana Network thing. By the end of the day I wasn't super quick with it, but I could make the shape and add people to it.

Y'know, I'm absolutely not jealous of what Marie and Saffron get up to. I love them both and it's fun as shit to watch.

Never thought I'd envy the two of them their height difference though.