Dear Diary,

I get that part of that whole 'finding a balance between me and she' is important, but some part of me feels like it's almost, maybe more important that she becomes human.

I sure as shit know I'm not becoming 'divine' any time soon. Not in any kind of way that matters in the long run. Not in a good way, anyhow. Let's face it, I break shit. I'm good at breaking shit. Don't get me wrong, I know there's a lot of shit here and now that desperately needs breaking. Systemic bigotry. Entrenched oppressive exploitative power structures. I was gonna say 'Gods', but honestly after meeting Loki, and Sigyn, and hell, D even, it's not even Gods that are the problem. Bad Gods are kind of a symptom, but they're also the cause of the problem itself, which flips back around to 'entrenched oppressive exploitative power structures', just on a bigger scale.

But while there's all kinds of stuff that needs to be broken? Systems that are aching to be smashed? That won't make the world a better place.

That takes building. The problem isn't the existence of power structures. It's how they've been controlled by folks intent on doing all kinds of shady shit with them. But without some kind of structure, no way could humans make enough food to turn the world from the chaotic violent shit show that is mother nature in all her glory into something where people could spend time making the whole fucking place better. Oh, sure, people could survive in little villages. They could survive hunting and gathering. We did, for a long fuckin' time. Utterly at the mercy of the Old Gods of Famine, Disease and Death.

I can't build. Not really. Not the way Saffron could. Not the way humans could.

Weird, how little that phrasing had to do with Mimic, and everything to do with me.

Woke up in the middle of the family cuddle puddle, the sky painted evening colors. I got a little bit of Worship flavored vibes from Saffron and Marie, both of whom snuggled into me from the sides. Didn't really remember my Mimic dreams, although my mouth tasted faintly of shrimp. After a few minutes of lying there vibing, I said, "I've got an idea of something to do with Grandmama Domnu tonight."

"Fly?"

I snagged her and cuddle her while she squirmed and giggled. "No, not fly, Menace." A mulish look slid onto her face until I said, "I thought we'd all go down to the green with your brother." Mulishness slipped into confusion. "Vulcan." An expression of pure mischievous glee replaced everything else. "Yeah, go grab our clothes so we can get dressed."

She scampered away. After a surprising amount of thumping and clunking from the other room, she dragged a whole heap of clothes back through the door, her only point of contact her uniform pants, which had been looped through a suspicious leather strap. I rolled out of bed, bent down, and picked Vulcan's case off the floor, clothing spilling off as I set it on the bed. I opened my mouth to say something, but she hopped away, pants dangling from one hand, and said, "did na touch!"

"How did you get his case closed without touching those bolts?"

She started hopping back and forth, making whip noises, flicking her pants at me. "Whoo pah! Whoo pah!"

I couldn't help it. I know the proper Mom thing would be to critique and consequence first, but I broke down laughing. "Look..." I forced words out as I dropped over to the bed, laughing. "You little Menace. 'Do not touch your brother' includes using tools, little tool using monkey."

Her jaw dropped open with her pants half on, and the blubbery eyes started. "Na fa!"

I shook my head. "You get away with it. This time. Because we didn't specify. But from now on?"

"Na tauch wid pans."

"No touch with any tools, Menace."

She grinned at me. "Na tauch wid toows."

I looked over at the other two, who'd already managed to get half dressed. "Not gonna back me up?"

Marie shrugged. Saffron just smiled at me and said, "you seemed to be doing fine. Perhaps more generous than I would be, but I suppose it's not fair to punish her for being clever."

Once we all had our uniforms on more or less correctly, I opened Vulcan's case, pushed the two loose bolts into their recesses, then closed and latched the lid. As I handed it to Saffron, I asked, "can you meet us on the back lawn? Marie and I need to pick up target dummies."

"Certainly." She slung Vulcan's case over her back and held out her arms for Menace, who jumped up and clung to her like the little monkey she'd decided to emulate for the day. I took Marie's hand and stepped us to the equipment shack, where we each gathered up as many dummies as we could carry. I only managed four; Marie had that many under each arm, and one in her mouth. When we stepped down to the lawn, I Co-Located our little Library Love Shack, tapped Domnu with my foot and stepped the pair of us outside, where I dropped the extra four dummies and collapsed back into myself.

"Heavy." Marie let hers clatter to the ground.

I nodded. "Yeah. Forgot to warn you, Translocating carrying a bunch of crap is rough for some reason."

Saffron chuckled. "No Aura."

Domnu added what Saffron had been too polite to say. "Obviously."

"One at a time shouldn't be too bad. You feel okay to help me, Marie?"

"Yes."

The two of us bounced back and forth, setting up a few targets every hundred feet or so. By the time we finished, Saffron had Vulcan strung, cocked, and loaded. "I don't remember, have you fired him before, Marie?"

Marie shrugged and held out her hands. Saffron handed Vulcan over, and after a quick examination she brought him up to a passable standing rifleman's stance. "You've seen a Crossbow fired, I'm guessing?"

"Yes." She squeezed the trigger, and that notorious thrum sent a glowing blue bolt downrange to demolish a target dummy and leave a glowing hole in the ground behind it. I'd been watching her face, and I'm sure she didn't see the impact, despite how big her eyes got.

As Isnomi clapped at the light show and Marie scrabbled to cock him again, I leaned over to Saffron. "Do her eyes always do that?"

"Most times."

"Why have I never noticed that before? It's fuckin' adorable. Literally."

Saffron giggled as Marie slotted another bolt. "She's never been fully dressed before, and you're easily distracted by boobs."

"Hey! Hers aren't that big. To scale, anyhow."

Vulcan thrummed again, and as Saffron said, Marie's eyes got real big, her pupils more than anything else. "I didn't say you were only distracted by large breasts."

"No, but you said boobs. Smaller ones are tits."

She looked up at me. "Really?"

I nodded solemnly as another bolt slipped into Vulcan's groove, followed by another thrum. I swear, for an inanimate object, my boy somehow managed to look smugger than any guy I'd ever seen observing a confirmed O face. "Oh, absolutely."

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"So Marie has tits, where Sigyn, Domnu, and I have boobs?"

I shook my head. "Nah. I've got boobs. You've got knockers." Clickety, clickety, clickety, thrum, eye-pop.

By this point Menace was waving her arms and cheering like Marie'd been putting on a fireworks show. Honestly, given the flashes I'd seen from downrange, I guess she had. I'd been watching the more local fireworks though. "Ah. I see. Knockers. Dare I ask regarding Sigyn and Domnu, as they obviously ought have the same descriptor?" Clickety, clickety, clickety, thrum, eye-pop.

Marie let out a little whimper. "Gazongas. You okay over there, Marie?"

"yes?" Clickety, clickety, clickety, thrum, eye-pop, whimper.

"He is literally a machine, you realize? He will neither tire nor flag in any way?" Saffron had some actual concern in her voice.

Meanwhile Marie had half turned, keeping even unloaded Vulcan pointed downrange, and her grin matched her popped eyes. "Yes!" Clickety, clickety, clickety, thrum, eye-pop, whimper. Cheers from Menace as one of the further targets rocketed into the sky, burning.

"Y'know, I want Domnu to have a go tonight as well. Save a few bolts for her?"

Marie glanced at me. Her hands blurred. Clickety, clickety, clickety, thrum, eye-pop, whimper, whimper. Clickety, clickety, clickety, thrum, eye-pop, whine. "No."

I couldn't help it. I leaned on Saffron's shoulder, laughing. Oh my God. Kitten, we've found her sweets!

Duh. Also? It is adorable how much glee you take in finding our guilty pleasures, then indulging us as much as Divinely possible.

Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?

Oh, you adorable Goof. That, too, is definitely going on the Ledger.

I pulled away just a little. What? What'd I do wrong this time?

She smiled at me, then leaned up on tiptoes to give me a quick kiss on the lips. You said you wanted your rewards added to that Ledger too, my insatiable Goof. Which, I think tells us exactly what your guilty pleasure is.

I think my grin might have gotten a little goofier at that point. Oh. Yeah. For the next few minutes I just stared as Marie sent climactic explosions downrange.

Then we spent a few hours playing scavenger hunt for bolts.

Domnu sat there doing nothing until Isnomi grabbed her finger and led her around to collect bolts. Where the rest of us had to dig them out of the dirt, or Mana Blade them out of trees or rocks, or in Marie's case just tear a fuckin' gash in the tree or rock with her claws, when Menace found one and pointed at it? Domnu would just reach down through the dirt or rock or wood like it wasn't even there, then yoink the bolt out of whatever. Not even explosively. Even the rock crumbled out of the way like cheese.

Once we had them all collected, before Marie could grab Vulcan again, I picked him up and said, "Marie, sweetie, I brought us all out here tonight so Grandmama Domnu could try a few shots. Since she has absolutely no experience with such things." Marie finally picked up what I was putting down, and looked at Domnu with undisguised pity.

"Wanna try!" Menace called out.

"NO!" Kinda funny how Saffron, Marie, and I all managed to say that word in exactly the same tone at exactly the same time.

"Remember what I said, Menace. Vulcan is not a toy."

"Wrong." growled Marie.

"Oh, hush, you. Vulcan, not unlike Marie, is not a toy appropriate for children."

She looked up at me, mulishness creeping onto her face. "Wen nod chile?"

Fuck it, not like we could stop her doing it once she was allowed to say it. Just had to remember to have The Talk before then. "Thirteen."

"Thirdeen?"

I nodded. "Thirteen."

She sighed as Saffron hissed, "thirteen?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, like she's your lost virginity." Saffron stood there, gawping at me. Then she kicked me in the shin. "What? I'm not wrong."

"No, but you didn't have to just put it all out there like that."

I pulled her to me. "Saffron?"

She folded her arms, but leaned into me. "Yes, Tabitha?"

"You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty or ashamed about that. If you were old enough to want it, to consent to it? You have no reason to feel guilty at all."

She hunched a little. "Um..."

Oh, lordy. Out with it. "Menace? Why don't you help Grandmama load Vulcan? You've been watching, you can show her."

Isnomi's eyes got huge like dinner plates, then she scampered over to instruct Domnu on the fine art of cocking and loading Vulcan.

I might have lied to him about my age.

I snorted. Yeah, but you didn't lie about knowing what you were asking for, or consenting, did you?

Well. No. But I lied about, y'know, finishing. Because he was really bad at it.

Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie. That's horrible.

Your first time was better?

I shrugged, hugging her to me. Eh. He got off on the self-service during.

If we have sons we need to be sure they know better.

Ooh. Super kinky.

She elbowed me in the gut, which I totally deserved. Lectures and drawings, Goof. it's basic anatomy and attention to detail, not Mobile Warding Mathematics.

Oh. Yeah. Way less kinky. You take care of that.

She stomped my foot. Again, totally deserved. You will assist with that, or...

Or what, you'll put it on the Ledger? Don't threaten me with a good time.

She tilted her head back and grinned up at me. "Oh, no, Tabitha Diaz. Your Ledger will perforce be cleared well before then."

"Huh?"

Right about then, Menace interrupted us. "Ma! Mama! Gammama gone shood!" We both watched, eager to see Domnu's response to our son's less savory proclivities. Hell, Marie watched right along with us. After I gathered her up, so did Isnomi, although her gaze pointed downrange rather than at Domnu's face.

Domnu's form might have been less polished than Marie's. She didn't lift the bow to her eye level, but then I'm not sure she really saw things with her eyes anyhow. She squeezed the trigger, Vulcan thrummed, and another target dummy exploded into burning fragments. Isnomi cheered. Domnu's eyes slid shut, then open again. Vulcan, of course, looked smug as shit.

She reached down, lifted another bolt from Vulcan's case, then began cocking him. This time she didn't do what Marie had been doing, or what the Menace had shown her. They'd each wound him up tight enough to get a good solid shot in, to let him give Isnomi a pretty light show with each shot. Domnu kept cranking that charging handle over, and over, and over. "Mother, if you break him..."

"I will not."

"He has limits."

At that point Vulcan straight up smugged at me harder. "I am aware, daughter." At that point I got just a little weirded out by the fact that she kept talking without any apparent muffling despite holding one of Vulcan's bolts in her mouth. "Have you consumed Artemis yet?"

"Uh... no?"

"Has she made appropriate obeisance and apology, then?"

"Also no? Oh Shit, wait!" I wound up catching on just a little too slow. Domnu spun, elevated Vulcan's business end, and stroked his trigger. I felt the thrum through my feet, although I guessed dirt didn't give him the same kind of control over that shit, because it was more 'teeth chatter' than 'try not to give the game away'.

Kind of pointless, though, because as Luna got a new fucking Mare, Domnu's eyes slid shut, and without lungs she let out a long, shuddering breath. "Did you really need to do that, Mother?"

Kinda weird to see her stand there considering it for at least a solid twenty count before nodding, a smile slipping across her lips as she said, "Yes."

I shook my head and remembered why I'd brought her out here in the first place. I handed Isnomi over to Saffron. "Could you take her in? I think she needs to get back on a day schedule soon." When Menace got a pouty look, I said, "Grandmama won't be staying with us forever, Menace. She'll visit again, though, and I'll make sure she says goodbyes before she leaves."

She got a little less mulish, then held her hands out to Domnu. When I nodded, she stepped over and let Isnomi clamber onto her. "G'nide, Gammama. I lub you."

I gave her a look and nodded, and Domnu replied, "night will always be good to you, beloved granddaughter."

After Menace hugged her general head and face region for a bit, she hopped back to Saffron, who said, "good night, Mother Domnu," before disappearing.

I made sure she was looking at me before I said, "yeah, remember we were talking about Johnson?"

"I remember."

"Yeah. That," I nodded to Vulcan, "is what he'd like to do with you. To you. For you. Whatever."

Her head tilted. "Shoot me?"

I very carefully swallowed every comment that tried to climb out of my throat about spears, instead limiting myself to a mature, restrained, "the other part."

That got another slow blink as I gently took Vulcan from her hands. "Oh." Another ten count passed. "Acceptable."

I snorted. "Yeah, yeah. I kinda figured. Now go get that fuckin' bolt and bring it back here."

As Domnu rose into the sky, Marie sighed. "Aw, why is my Murder Mittens sad?" She just nodded toward Vulcan. I grinned at her, tossed her Vulcan, and said, "hey, it's gonna take her a while to get back. Just one rule." She froze, one eyebrow lifting. "You pick targets where I can watch your face. That shit is adorable."

She managed to go through the rest of Vulcan's bolts before Domnu got back and I officially called it a night, putting Vulcan back in his case, Domnu back in her room, and Marie back in our bed, where she purred the rest of the night away.

I managed to get a decent half-night's sleep. Mimic stared at the Moon's new Mare and drooled.

Mid morning, after seeing Isnomi and Marie off on a sleepy day of carting, I stepped into Conrad's Workshop. "Son?"

He popped up behind me. "Yes, Mother?"

I turned and gave him a quick hug. "Good Morning, Son. I wondered if you could help me with something?"

"Name it."

"Well, I've got this whole 'Battle of the Bands' thing coming up tomorrow."

He winced, and lifted a hand, palm out, "please, Mother. Do not ask me to do music."

I smiled at him. "Oh, please, Son. You were absolutely sending music along with your light show the evenings before I adopted you."

He smiled. "I was. For you. Besides, I doubt you'd want me to play quite such an expensive tune for you?" Quickly, before I could reply, he added, "I will if you ask, but I would truly rather not."

I shook my head, smiling at him. "No, Son. I was hoping you'd help with instruments and costumes."

His ear-to-ear smile told me exactly what his response would be.