Dear Diary,

"If you live long enough, you'll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you'll be a better person. It's how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit."

- William J. Clinton

I did not expect that last bit from Hillary's dude. Like, yeah, okay, mistakes, he obviously made them, like not listening to his wife, and not keeping his shady shit on the down low. Anybody who makes enough mistakes is gonna know that you can't let them stop you. Lots of ways you can react to them, but shutting down and quitting is just not a really useful one. You can try to fix what went wrong, you can try to jettison it all and start over, you can take responsibility or try to blame somebody else. No matter what you do, it speaks to who you are as a person. It also maybe defines who you are as a person, who you're becoming, who you're choosing to become.

I've... got a lot to think about when it comes to that. I mean, one of the first things my Deific Mentor told me, before he even knew I was a Deific to Mentor, was that Deities can't lie. That if they say something that's not true that their own power will make it true. Now, he knows the actual trick to lie as a Deity, but I can't remember if he ever told me what it was, or I guessed at it and made an ass out of Uma Thurman, or what. Because I know I've made some really over the top threats, shit that I'm not sure is even possible. I do it without thinking about it, really. I see a situation where some asshole needs to stop assholing, and I get up in their grille and explain in loving detail what's going to happen if they don't play nice.

Like telling a Goddess that if she doesn't do what I want, how I want, I'm going to kill her. Painfully.

The part that scares me isn't that I'll be forced to live up to my stupid threats. It seems kinda like that shit grabs me by the brain and makes me do stuff more with Deities than with, y'know, normal people, and most of the Deities hereabouts really could stand to learn that Actions have Consequences. The part of it that scares me is how much I enjoyed it. It wasn't even some kind of freaky bloodlust thing, either. Just... everything I did, from moonset to moonrise, from the moment I stopped her heart to the moment she shoved the last of her Mana into me? Seemed so right. So natural. Like falling into a big fluffy bed, or wrapping your arms around someone when you kiss them, or swallowing after you've put something in your mouth.

So. Learning from that. Time to start paying maybe a little more attention to what I say, who I say it to. Especially when I set up verbal dominoes, I gotta make sure that if somebody pushes the first one over, I'm cool with where the last one falls.

As the Moon rose, I poured Mana into the Revive, into the body that had been Artemis. Everything she'd given me over the past day. Everything I'd stolen from her Worshippers. I shattered the dome I'd covered us with, and added everything still coming in. At first I worried I'd been wrong about how it would work, even as a tiny part of me let out a relieved sigh that I'd tried something like this with a Deity I'd mostly been pissed at rather than someone like my precious Marie. Mana poured into the Revive, through it, into the body that was Artemis. I'd say I held my breath, but let's face it, breathing is something I do when I remember to do it, or when I want to make with the mouth noises.

The flickering glow started from behind her closed eyelids. I kept pouring the Mana in, and that flicker became a flash, then glared so bright her eyes shone right through, the lids irrelevant. Her eyes dragged her body upright, her whole form dangling from her eye sockets, the glow spreading in flickering fits and starts until the first light of the newly risen moon flowed over her. Searing pale moonlight rushed across her, burned away everything except those upturned eyes, which stared directly into the moonlight. The light flowed out again like liquid flowing into a scintillating moonlight mold in the shape of a woman. My Revive poured the last of its Mana into her, and I couldn't help but smile as I recognized the look on her face as the same one Menace used to have when I detached her from the tit.

A cloud drifted into that moonbeam, and I smiled as it tore itself to shreds. Then I looked back down to see the Goddess of the Moon staring at me. "You... you brought me back."

"I did."

"Why?" She floated down as she asked the question, her feet finding purchase on the filthy tentacle she'd died on.

I reached up, but stopped myself before I could soil her perfect new face with the blood and shit and tears covering it. "You deserve a second chance."

She reached one still faintly glowing hand down, quicker than I could pulled mine away, and pulled my hand up to her cheek. "I had one. I failed."

I shook my head. "No. You didn't."

She pulled my hand away just far enough to look at it, then down at where her feet squished in the stinking fluids I'd pulled from her. "Then why?"

"You know why."

She smiled. "Such power. So young. Terrifying."

"Yep. That's me. You know why else?"

She stopped, thought, then leaned back into my hand. "Because I deserved death as much as I deserve another chance?"

I nodded. "Yeah. You did some really awful shit." She nodded. "But now it's in the past. Right, Diana?"

She smirked at me. "So now you hide my secret name?"

I smiled back. "Who named you Diana?"

Another pause. "Shepherds. Merchants. Crafters." A long, long, pause that took an instant hovering here in M-Space, then her whole face glowed with realization. "Mortals."

"And who named Artemis?"

She didn't even pause. She spat to the side. Mimic's Maw is wide, and still caught it, and it flickered and flared into nonexistence. "Diana it is then." She looked down at the desecrated tentacle beneath her. "Artemis died here. Her loyalty to that fucking rapist ruling Olympus and everyone who stands with him died as well." She took a deep breath; even Gods and Souls seemed to feel the need to do that now and again. "So this time, rather than becoming the worst version of myself, mayhap I can be the best version? Maybe by helping you clean all this up?"

I laughed, then plunged the tentacle she'd died on into Mimic's Maw. I followed it in, nonexistence tearing at all of me, my scars most of all. A moment later I pulled back out, blinking, shivering and shaking the drops of nothing from my fur before sliding my Blend back up. "Nah. Maybe go help clean up the mess in Calverton, though?"

She just stared at me, still glowing eyes wide as she hovered where the tentacle had been. "You... How does that not terrify you?"

I shrugged. "You get used to anything eventually. Even terror. Get used to something long enough it's... comforting, even."

She laughed at that, maybe a little frantic, but not humorless. "So I see. What will you do while I'm in Calverton then?"

"I've got a date I need to prep for. Gonna go talk to Dad first. Then gotta get with Marie about maybe putting a picnic basket together." I remembered something I'd intended to think about, to talk over with Saffron, but forgot, and now it was totally too late. "Uh... before you go?"

"Yes, Mistress?"

I cocked my head. "You still going on about that?"

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She paused. Thought. "You are correct. Of course. Despite your efforts, Power still rules, and it would be impressive indeed for you to not be correct, for your nature to allow reality to remain incorrect. But... you are correct. Matriarch."

Something rushed through me at that. I remembered the first time Saffron pointed out I was Isnomi's Mom. The first time she called me Mama. The first time Maze called me Papa. This hit like that, only... deeper. Right down in that place where I wasn't a tiny, frail, ephemeral thing of flesh and blood and bone, but a fucking Primordial Force of Nature. "Girl, you might regret that."

She shook her head, laughing. "I regret many things. Decisions. Waste. Not pulling my brother's head out of his ass before he got himself eaten. But that? Matriarch? Not any time soon, I think. But... did you have a question?"

"Yeah. I got a date coming up. What the fuck am I gonna wear?"

She paused. Stared at me. Then, laughing as she rose through the air arrowing toward Calverton, she called out, "I've always preferred skyclad."

I sighed and stepped to Loki's place. "Hey, Mom. Dad. Got a minute?"

Loki looked up from where he'd been perusing a thick tome on his table. I didn't remember getting him that, but then Saffron and Marie had both been here. Either one could have picked it up for him. "Of course. Did you need some Soul work after the battle?"

I shook my head. "Where's Mom?"

He smiled. "She has never had many Clergy, but she decided to gather them to assist in Calverton. I brought mine as well, though..." He waved at himself. The scarring on his chest had gone down, and at some point he'd rearranged the chains that had once bound him to be more 'punk chic' than 'horrifically bound', but he still didn't look exactly presentable.

"Accompanying her as Lyman?"

"Just so."

I pulled my chair up and sighed. "Yeah, I got... a bunch of stuff to get off my chest."

"Before your date tomorrow?"

I grinned up at him, more than a little embarrassed. "Dad! Can't I just want to maybe talk about some shady shit I just did for self improvement reasons?"

He nodded, his face solemn. "Of course you can. You're still clearing your slate to focus on her though, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I... Bless it, why you gotta be like that?"

He laughed. "Because, Daughter, if you are truly to speak of things of import, you must speak truly of things of import." His smile softened. "You would do well to remember that your actions yesterday were the results of a promise you made to Maze and Artemis both..."

"Diana."

He nodded. "But she was Artemis at the time. But you made a promise, and yesterday you kept it. Did you think of it one bit in the time between?"

I shrugged. "Not really."

He shuddered just a little, and I couldn't tell if it was real or fake. "So all of that was impromptu? Frighteningly impressive. At any rate, how often since you first stated your intent toward her have you thought about your upcoming assignation?"

A goofy horny grin crept across my face. "Fuck, now I'm thinking about it right the fuck now when I ought to be talking about..."

He shook his head, laughing. "No, not really. By nature, my daughter, you are capable of horrific things. As you've just shown. But... by preference? Which have you done when given your head?"

"Heh. Giving head. Heh."

He rolled his eyes. "I rest my case."

I sighed. "Yeah, fine, fine. But... can we still talk about it?"

He smiled and nodded. "Of course, Daughter."

So we talked. For a moment, for a minute, for hours, forever. I... broke down and cried at one point, and he held me. I've never had a guy hold me and... just be dad. I mean, I'm me. I totally squealed out, "thank you, Daddy," when my shit stopped falling apart.

At which point a size Norse Goddess hand cracked across my ass. "Stop flirting with your father, you incorrigible wench."

I turned and leapt into an entirely different familial hug. "Mom!"

"Your Novice, exhausted, is still trying her best to impress your Maenad, I think. Or she's collapsed and is sleeping now."

I held up one finger and concentrated on Murder Mittens. Given exactly how she was guiding the comparatively tiny hand held in hers, Karen had impressed her enough to get a lesson or two. "Yeah, not collapsed, but if I know my Marie, she'll be down for the count in time to get rested up for Saturday."

"So what is she to be doing on Saturday?"

I grinned. "Babysitting!"

She laughed. "And what will the three of you be doing with this, your first child free day in such a long time?"

I grinned again. "Sister Siobhan!"

She facepalmed. "Incorrigible. Utterly."

My grin slipped. "You... am I doing something wrong?"

She laughed through her hand. "No, Daughter. Well, not anything I would consider immoral. You're not hiding her, or keeping her from your wife. Soon to be wives?"

"Yeah! I mean, I've still got to find just the right time to ask her, and she's still got to ask Saffron, but... Yeah! Gonna marry Marie so hard, she's gonna forget we were ever not married."

She chuckled at that. "You know, I'm not sure she truly remembers she's not even now." I blinked, worried, but Sigyn shook her head. "Just proof that you are, in fact, going to 'marry her so hard' she's already forgotten you're not married."

We talked a while after that. Mostly about date night stuff. Eventually both of them convinced me to go with my uniform, of all things. No idea why, but I'm not gonna doubt the word of a couple that's still so obviously into one another after centuries. Every now and then I popped into Marie's head for a second, just to see how things were going. I think maybe if I'd already been in Karen's head it might not have seemed so, I dunno, voyeuristic. I also really didn't want to disturb Marie while she did Karen's Trial. I mean, I know I kinda fucked with Saffron's Trial, but then... Saffron. On top of her being such a boss bitch that I never worried about me actually throwing her off her game, she was Saffron. I don't even know another way to say it.

The last time I peeked I kinda peaked at the same time, because apparently Karen's a quick study. Then again, Marie is a hard carry in duo queue, so it might have been all her. Either way, she panted, "Done." into my brain before she'd even caught her breath. What with Karen lying there looking about ten steps beyond 'artfully disheveled', all the way to bordering on 'potential assault victim', I figured she was pretty much right one way or the other.

I turned to Loki and Sigyn and said, "I gotta..." only to have her wave me off. I smiled, gave them each a quick hug, and stepped to where Marie stood next to our Academy Suite bed. I threw my arms around her for a quick kiss and asked, "so...?"

She pursed her lips, tilted her head, and put on a perfect 'considering' pose for a few seconds before winking at me and saying, "Good."

I leapt up to whisper in her ear, "you're not just saying that so we have a babysitter tomorrow, are you?"

Holy shit I did not know Marie could do that good of a 'who, me' look. I gave her a quick peck on the cheek, then hopped down and gently shook Karen's shoulder. "Hey, you still sane in there?"

"No promises." She smiled up at me. Clearly exhausted, but smiling. "Am I dead?"

I slipped two fingers to her neck and checked her pulse, just to be sure, because she was more than a little beat up. Nothing as bad as we'd left each other in the Practice Yard, but she'd still clearly gone a couple rounds with Marie in the 'attempting to do harm to one another' sense. "Nope, sorry. Still got a pulse and everything. So... one more Trial left. You still gonna go through with this insanity?"

She cracked one eye open and looked up at me. "You think I'm gonna give up now?"

I shrugged. "Which has been the hardest part so far?"

She wheezed out a laugh. "Marie. Definitely Marie."

"And prior to that?"

Her eyes rolled back just a little, but I couldn't tell if it was from frustration or exhaustion. "Siobhan. Fourteen... Yeah, fourteen hours, I think? And then that one drags me off at sunset to spar, then spars me right into..." she blushed, finally realizing exactly where she was.

I chuckled, taking her hand to help her up. "Yeah, Marie is awesome like that." I reached back and pulled Murder Mittens over to me with one arm around her waist. "But what was the hardest before that?"

"The Smith, obviously." She paled. "Am... am I not supposed to call him that?"

I shrugged. "Honestly, if you're worried about it? Ask him. Politely. Noticed a pattern about your trials yet?"

I watched as disbelief and horror warred on her face. Eventually they signed a ceasefire and covered her entire face with disbelieving horror. "You can't mean..."

"Last Halloween she wandered into his Workshop." Karen's jaw dropped. "Afterward I had to tell her to stop bullying him."

Karen's ass thumped back down on the bed. Okay, it squished a little, because Marie hadn't had time to change the sheets yet. "I... I thought I was better than this."

"Hey, look, no hard feelings, if it's too much it's too much. You can even keep the dress. It looks really good on you."

She shook her head. "No, no, apologies, My Goddess, I... I didn't think I would be so susceptible to the Sunk Cost Fallacy. But here we are." She pushed herself to her feet. "I'm ready for my next... final? Trial."

I took her by the hand, then stepped the three of us to the Love Shack. "Oh, no the hell you are not. I'd say you need a bath, but the dress will take care of that at," I reached out, felt the midday sun shining down, "sunset. You're gonna need some rest." I leaned into Marie. "Can you make sure she gets something to eat, and whatever else she needs?" Karen opened her mouth like she was gonna complain or something, but I interrupted. "Trust me, Marie's best Skills are actually in the kitchen." Her mouth shut with a snap as the warmth of a blush rushed through Marie's skin. "Now. Get some rest, my would-be Priestess."

With that I stepped us to the kitchen, dressing us both in Maid's uniforms. Marie and I spent the rest of the day tinkering with food. I'd say 'playing', but Marie in the kitchen 'plays' like Kobe on the court or Tiger on the links. Not everything we tried worked out, of course. But I assuaged my guilt about wasting food by sending the leftovers to Karen. By the time sunset rolled around, we had a complete menu ready.

I even picked out a basket!