Dear Diary,

I wonder exactly how powerful the 'power of stories' is, and how much it affects me without me knowing it.

I know there are things I've mentioned and forgotten about that I'm sure have come back to bite me in the ass. Maybe there have been some that came back to give me a boost when I needed it too, but those are a little harder to figure out sometimes. After all, when I need help, an entire freight train of manure has usually been dumped directly into the biggest fans available. When shit's flying everywhere, it can be a little hard to pick out subtle little things that are keeping me from drowning in it. On the flip side, when I'm just about to fall apart and I get hit with just one more thing, I absolutely notice that final straw.

Of course, when I'm on a roll and shit happens like a certain mechanical son spewing Hole Spawn Guts all over me, I definitely notice that. I'm not sure if I notice when somebody adds another layer of goodness onto an already good thing. I think I do, because I really want to be the kind of wife that notices and appreciates all the little things my wives do for me. Of course, when it comes to details, my brain still won't remember that I have not, in fact, wifed Marie properly yet. I have got to do something about that. That's next on my list after dealing with fuckin' Calverton.

Shit, that might take longer than I want to deal with. I'm gonna start working on that shit as soon as I'm done with the fucking Hole.

Y'know, with my new decision to notice details, I am realizing that my phrasing might sometimes be more suggestive than intended.

So yesterday at sunset I led five Hole Spawned Crabs back to fuckin' Olga and a bunch of Longboats. I screamed out, "Hole Spawn Incoming!" my voice amplified enough to carry to all the Longboats. All of them had some oars out, but those rose into the air almost immediately. That confused me a bit until I realized that given the size, weight, and strength of the Hole Spawn I'd seen, the oars wouldn't so much 'keep the Hole Spawn away' as 'give them handy levers to flip people out of the boat'. Within seconds, each Longboat had a row of Karls hefting shields along the side, backed by a bunch of Thralls; some with spears, but a few with the oars they'd pulled up. They had reach, if nothing else, I guess.

Meanwhile Olga took a half step back and raised her ski poles like short spears. Honestly, I guessed they kinda were just that. Maybe javelins, though, given how thin they were relative to her. "Hey Olga, can you throw those?"

"I am not losing one of my weapons to The Hole."

I shrugged. "Fair point. Just curious. I don't think I can take more than two at a time."

She snorted. "That's one more than I'm sure of. Can you maybe lure a couple to the Longboats?"

"I don't use my people as cannon fodder," I growled out.

She shook her head and set herself to stab at the first Hole Spawn as it approached. "They're fighters. They're here to fight. If we get overwhelmed and go down, they have to fight all of them anyway."

"Shit." I Translocated one of me in front of each of the Hole Spawned Crabs, then Translocated ahead of them, leading them apart, pulling two into the shallows to either side of Olga, letting one come straight to her, and leading the other two past us. When I reached the boats, I called out, "get ready!" Right then I realized the Longboats had bunched up in a line; I guess to support one another when the things got into melee range. Right about then I kinda regretted not leading them to my big boats, since each of them had enough Crossbow armed Volunteers to put out a solid volley, and we had more big boats than there were Hole Spawn chasing me.

Of course, they'd have gone through Skasn first, and I was not having that.

The first Hole Spawned Crab reached the shallows, and Olga's spear lanced down at it. It juked at the very last moment, its shell wings twisting to deflect the blow. I think the wing itself cracked, and she definitely got its attention, but it had a cracked wing instead of being skewered. At that point the next two Hole Spawn hit the shallows. "My turn."

I Co-Located to surround them, eight of me surrounding each of them. Sixteen of me in close proximity like this got itchy enough I felt it even through the adrenaline coursing through me, but I needed eight of me to deal with one of these fuckers. I surrounded them, Mana Lances reaching out and stabbing into any little imperfections and depressions in their shells. They writhed, trying to shake me off, but The Dress' boots kept their grip on the floor of the Bay; a pretty impressive feat given that most of it seemed to be silt. One of the two, instead of trying to twist itself around, got a rush of brains to the head and rolled. The mes on its left side braced and half lifted it, but the mes on the other side got lifted their own selves, which let it scuttle away in that direction, snagging one of me in a claw as it did. I managed to get my blades up and pushed back, but I wasn't right out at the wide end of the claw, and it slowly overpowered me.

I decided right then that I did not like getting cut in half. Zero out of ten, would not get torn in half again. Okay, shit, maybe if Marie asked really, really nicely. But not by fuckin' Hole Spawn. I let that me collapse into one of the others surrounding that Crab, slipping sideways and bracing to get myself into a position I could hold the fucking claw open this time. Its other claw slid over to help, and I stepped another of me into the breach to keep its other claw from slicing me in two. That left six of me pinning the thing, and it kinda wobbled its way sideways, lashing out with its Draconic limbs. It lost some claw tips, I got some new nicks, but I could not pin it down with just six of me.

"How strong are these fuckin' things, anyway?"

A moment later I really thought about what I'd just said and, in lieu of slapping myself upside the head, Shaped an Inspect.

NAME

Hole Spawned Crab

RACE

Hole Spawn

HYBRID

Dragon (60%) / Blue Crab (20%) / Undead (20%)

AGE

Young Adult (1)

ATTRIBUTES

STRENGTH

16

AGILITY

8

ENDURANCE

16

REASON

2

MEMORY

2

PERSONALITY

4

AFFINITIES

Water (50%), Earth (25%), Air (12.5%)

PATRON

Hole Matriarch

SKILLS

RACIAL SKILLS

None

ARMORED SHELL

8

CLAW

8

DRAGON SCALES

8

DRAGON BREATH

8

"Well, shit. That does explain things."

I did some quick mental math while trying to avoid getting any more of me chopped in half, then collapsed the eight of me fighting the other Crab into two, popped up another batch of me around the Crab I'd just Inspected, and sixteen of me rammed Mana Lances into the thing and shoved it down. The two in its claws strained to keep themselves un-bisected as it redoubled its efforts. The final me, standing right in front of it, split myself in two and rammed a pair of Mana Lances straight into its mouth. Even dealing with the narrowed vision and impending migraine, two of me pushing managed to get through into its chewy center in short order, and I expanded my fucking Mana Lances enough not just to kill it, but to vaporize everything inside its shell. The moment it stopped moving, I released the Mana Lances and dumped Mana into two big Smites.

A thin black cloud seeped out of every crack in the thing. I still didn't trust it, and Translocated every one of me over to the other Crab I'd been fighting, who had the two of me I'd left in its claws, trying its best to slice me into Tabitha Tendies. All of me leapt on the thing, pinning it in place. Before I repeated my tactic of driving Mana Lances into its mouth, burning it out from the inside, and Smiting the remains, one spare me leapt forward, rammed a hand into its mouth, and activated MIMIC (Attribute), then MIMIC (Defenses) and MIMIC (Skill) twice each. I lost that arm, but collapsed back into one of the two of me force-feeding it my Mana Lances and finished it off.

While I'd been dealing with those two, the other two had impacted the Longboats. Courting a completely debilitating migraine, I'd dropped one of me into each of the Crabs' claws, holding them open, because I had no illusions about what would happen the moment one of those claws caught a Longboat, nor about the fate of any Karls and Thralls dumped in the water. Shortly after I did that, I realized my error as first one crab, then the other, used its claws like a Crab do, pulled me over, and nommed my fuckin' head. I died, discorporated, and screamed in pain even as I Co-Located another of me to block the claw I'd vacated.

While the Crabs' mouths, claws, and I had the world's most disgusting standoff, the Crabs used their Draconic claws and wings to smash at the Longboats and the troops aboard them. Credit where it's due, the fuckers in the ships fought back, hard. The Karls had pulled their shields up and if any of them who tanked a shot from a claw without backup got knocked clean to the other side of the boat, typically lying there groaning after, they were still groaning and breathing, and their buddies got that much more enthusiastic about locking shields together to meet the Crab's Dragon claws. Meanwhile, anything the Crabs stuck out got sliced at by swords and axes in the hands of the Karls, not to mention the Thralls just sticking spears out, bracing, and letting the Crabs do the work of skewering themselves. Mostly the Thralls just got bowled over backwards when the spears failed to penetrate, but a couple managed to stick it in. After the first one got lifted clean out of the boat, having to cling to his spear to keep from getting dunked into the water right alongside the Crab, the rest let go the moment their spears sunk in.

I didn't see the Thralls with oars doing anything but bonking the Crabs without any real success, but fuck it, points for effort. I even forgave the bastards who missed and clobbered me on the head with the flat of their oars. Multiple times. After like the third time I sighed and shouted, "Oars! Edges!" I wound up having to collapse and reform at least twice after that, but a few small cracks appeared in the Crabs' shells, so Win for Team Longboat, I guess?

Then two very important things happened. First, Olga's spears both plunged down right into the back of one of the Giant Enemy Hole Crabs. She'd put her weight behind them, too, because they slammed through the thing's carapace with a huge crunch, one that shivered both spears. The Crab didn't stop moving, but it definitely seemed less healthy; its claws definitely lost some Strength where they continued to try to slice me in half.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Second, the other Crab pulled my head into its mouth, bit down, and just ground its mouthparts against my head. Which felt kind of like somebody running a pumice stone over my face, but did not, in fact, squash my head like a particularly juicy grape.

A moment later the other sixteen of me showed up and skewered the fuck out of that crab. Two of me pulled its claw back, and two more shoved Mana Lances into its mouth. Seconds later, I burned it from inside out with expanded Mana Lances and Smites. By the time I turned to the final Crab, Olga had picked it up, screamed out, "FUCK!" as it tore into her hand with its Draconic claws, then yeeted it to the shoreline. She leapt after it, every Longboat in the area sliding sideways as water filled the gaps left by her boots. I decided against helping her out when her first stomp drove the thing flat against the rocks it landed on, jamming the remains of her spear tips into the stone. She didn't stop stomping for a solid five minutes, screaming imprecations at the top of her very large lungs the entire time.

By the time she finished, I'd collapsed back into myself and gotten the fleet moving again. Gotten them working toward that goal, anyhow; some of them had lost oars, most of them had some issues with injured crew, one of them had run aground, and all of them had gotten turned around a bit, but as far as I could tell, nobody had died, not even the poor bastard Thrall who'd had the unenviable choice of 'dive for the water' or 'get yeeted to shore along with the Crab'. She'd chosen 'water is softer than rock', and while she had some broken bones, a quick Heal Injury did for that. I dispensed a few more of those, then hopped over to Olga's shoulder. "Feel better, Princess?"

She heaved a big sigh. "Yeah. Y'know? I think I really do. That was cathartic."

"Okay then. You hurt?"

"My foot is starting to go numb."

I stepped down, dropped a mega-overcharged Stabilize into her foot followed by a vaguely normal sized Heal, since I needed my Mana for something else, then stepped back to her shoulder. "Better?"

She stomped on the ground a few times. "Think I want to go wash it off in the water, and maybe get you to hit me with another Heal eventually, but I can soldier."

"Good. I need you to get everybody at least a mile away from The Hole. Pull them if you have to." Marie, could you make sure the Trolls know I need them to take point for the fleet for the rest of the night and stand guard tomorrow?

Yes.

That's my Murder Mittens. Thanks.

Welcome

Meanwhile Olga replied with, "The fuck?" She sounded a little confused, but hope lurked in the backs of her huge baby blues.

I nodded to her. "There are more of them down there. And eggs. Too many fuckin' eggs."

"You going back down, then, Majesty?"

I shook my head. "Nope. I'm ending this shit. Permanently. Ain't nothing good ever gonna come out of this pimple on the ass of the Bay, so I'm popping that shit." She opened her mouth to say something, and I continued. "With fire."

She worked her mouth a bit before saying, "but... water?"

I collapsed the me with Vulcan back to her shoulder. "Enough. Fire."

"Okay then. I'll be about it?" I nodded, and she stepped back into the water, shouting orders to the fleet. In the distance I saw ships turning to give The Hole an even wider berth than they had been.

Meanwhile I Co-Located another of me into a dive into the middle of The Hole, splashing into the water and diving until once again I saw those weird lights along the normal floor of the Bay. Floating there, I Co-Located one of me to M-Space, dropped my Blend, and sucked in Mana. I used MIMIC (Size) on the me holding the Mana, just enough to get maybe Loki sized. Square Cube rule meant that should be enough, and I remained small enough that I wouldn't fall post-Shaping, what with the whole 'floating' thing. I kept pulling Mana until I glowed so bright the light reflected off the sides of The Hole.

Then I collapsed into one of myself and poured all of it into a single Filtration Ward as wide as The Hole set to block Air, Water, and anything carried by them. I wasn't sure that last would work, but fuck it, the first two were what I really needed.

By that point Olga and Skasn had reached minimum safe distance. I stepped to Skasn's spear, still embedded south of The Hole, and snatched the big handkerchief he'd tied to it, then stepped it back to the middle of The Hole and spread it out across the surface. "Ready to play God, son?"

Vulcan just smugged eagerly at me.

I took a deep breath and Translocated straight up. Air rushed past me as I fell, and I did it again. The fourth time the air got thin. The fifth my eyes and ears stung, but I still felt the vestiges of atmosphere. The seventh Translocation everything got silent and dark save the light from the planet below.

As I worked Vulcan's charging handle I asked, "can you still see the target, son?" My voice had that weird timbre that came from hearing it through my head, not air, because other than the shit escaping from my lungs when I spoke, there was none.

Somehow, with no face or self-mobile parts, Vulcan looked offended.

"Fine. Just checking. You know what I want you to do?"

He smugged back with absolutely demonic eagerness. Like, the kind of eagerness I got at the thought of, like, Infinite Wifeworks or some shit. Right about then I started having trouble moving the charging handle. "You need more?"

Three agonizing clicks later he smugged his readiness at me. I aimed just down and to the left of the point of land I remembered, and said, "one rod. Send it," and squeezed the trigger.

As I dealt with the inevitable nigh-apocalyptic side effects of firing a fully charged Vulcan, I Translocated us both back to Olga's shoulder, in part to help with any collateral damage, in part to watch the show. A single bar of light tore through the night sky, and when it hit the water Olga gasped as the interior of my Ward filled instantly with steam and smoke. The water rippled, and steam covered the outside of the Ward as well. Olga looked down. "The hell?"

"Ground shaking?"

"Yeah."

"Might want to keep moving."

She started scooting the rearmost ships along ahead of her. "What the fuck did you do?"

"Me? Just gave him," I nodded at Smuggest Boy. "A target, a firing point, and the oomph to get the job done."

"Okay, what the fuck did he do?"

"Do you know what a Shaped Charge is?"

She looked at me, "No idea? What is it?"

I shrugged. "I'm not really sure how it works, but it's basically an explosion designed to blow a hole in something." I nodded at Vulcan. "Fortunately, he's an expert in both explosions and other disasters."

"Other disasters."

"Ayep." I nodded to where the steam in my Ward glowed in the night. "Y'know, like earthquakes, tsunamis, although I think I blunted the worst of that," Vulcan pouted at me, and I smiled as the water around my ward boiled away, beginning to form a column-shaped cloud despite the paradoxical lack of shockwave. "And... volcanoes."

Magma flowed freely through my Ward, glowing and splitting and pouring more energy into the water and air inside, which boiled even more water around it, but importantly, none of it happened nearly as violently as it ought with my Ward stopping everything but the liquid rock itself from doing anything but seething and transferring heat by conduction and radiation. Which, to be honest, still felt a little warm, even for a late spring night on the Bay.

"Yeah, we're gonna get some fucked up weather for a bit. Probably gonna be a bit of a something when my Ward finally fails, but hopefully the energy will have mostly bled off by then."

"Hopefully?"

I shrugged. "Yeah. Hopefully. On the other hand?" She just looked at me, maybe a little speechless. "The Hole? Isn't."

At that point Skasn, who'd been striding alongside Olga, started laughing. "Only you, My Queen."

"Whut?"

"Your considered approach to removing a Hole? Was to blow a hole in it."

I couldn't help it, I started laughing right along with him. Yeah, this would fuck shit up, but in the long run way less than a steady supply of Hole Spawn for the rest of fuckin' eternity.

"Okay, you two. I want you to anchor the fleet as soon as you get a solid five miles from the island formerly known as The Hole. Tomorrow we're gonna rest up and get ready for our assault. Tomorrow night folks can have half the night off for the Solstice, but we attack the morning after."

"We'll be attacking on the Solstice?"

I nodded. "I want to rush in as fast as we can to save any Jotnar and Trolls we can, but we need to be rested up, and I don't want anybody saying I didn't give them at least a few hours to do Solstice things."

"Aboard ship?"

I snorted. "Tell me you've never done anything like that before." She just stared at me. "Okay, tell me you've never seen anyone else do something like that before."

She chuckled. "Fair point. Will you be joining us?"

I shook my head. "Not for the celebration. I'll have someone here to communicate, either me or the Imperator or most likely Marie, but I'm gonna spend the few hours we get with the family."

She nodded. "As we all ought, if we can. Will you stay with us tonight?"

"Nope. Heading home. Marie will be with you guys until morning."

"As you wish, My queen. Sleep well."

At that point I stepped back home to find Saffron, Marie, and Isnomi all lounging on Marie's floor bed. Waiting for me. I looked at Vulcan, then at Isnomi, then said, "do you want to put your brother to bed, Menace?" She leapt toward me, nodding, and I handed him off with a quiet, "good work today, Son."

Isnomi struggled a bit, but eventually dragged Vulcan over to his case by his stirrup, then slid him into place, patting him gently. "G'nide, bax bada."

As we snuggled together for bed, I worried a little about nightmares about getting cut in half. Then I realized I hadn't actually had a nightmare since, y'know, giving in to the Mimic Dreams every night. Weird silver lining, but still a silver lining. Mimic Dreamt of Marie yeeting shrimp while a veritable carpet of psychotropic tadpoles writhed beneath her. Marie her, not Mimic her. Although the carpet did cover quite a bit of Mimic's backside as well, I supposed.

Woke up before Saffron and Isnomi, snuggled into Marie's side where she'd laid down to let us use her body as a pillow, and Co-Located one of me to my Troll Boat in The Dress, while another of me popped into the Workshop dressed in my uniform. "Son?"

"Yes, Mother dearest?" Conrad said from directly behind me.

I chuckled as I turned to face him. "I need a couple things from you, if you have time?"

He nodded, smiling. "Of course. What did you need?"

"First thing is urgent, but... simple? I need a shield." At his raised eyebrow, I said, "Yeah, the fuckin' Hole Spawned Crabs can shear right through me, I need something to help block that. Not to mention blocking shit flying at me when I'm too busy to pop up an Air Shield."

He smiled. "Why do I think you have ulterior motives, Mother?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because you're very smart." I described what I wanted in terms of shape and decoration; pretty much just a round shield like I'd seen Ares Priests and the Karls using with a simple design on the front.

"When did you need that by?"

"Tomorrow morning at the latest."

He frowned a moment, but more in thought than any sense of upset. "Did you have any materials for me to work with?"

I looked around the Workshop, spotted a big enough area, Translocated to where I'd left my pair of cored Crabs, looked around the Sudden Island until I found them, then Translocated back, dropping them into the open space atop one another. "Will those do?"

He smiled. "Not exactly what I meant, but I can definitely work with those. I look forward to it, even." Then he frowned and looked at me. "Is there any chance you could bring me a live sample?"

I blew out a double lungful of air. "Probably not? But I'll see what I can do on the Solstice. You'll want to have some kind of containment ready, though."

He nodded. "What else did you need?" I looked around, because I did not want a certain someone hearing about this, then leaned in and whispered in his ear. He pulled back. "Really?" I nodded.

"You're the only one I'd trust to make them, Son."

"Your trust honors me, mother. Did you have any particular materials in mind?"

I handed him my coin purse and said, "nothing in particular; I trust your choices entirely."

"Will there be anything else? I'm eager to start."

"Nope. Thanks son." With that I stepped down to the Infirmary.

Sister Siobhan, halfway to sitting at her desk, jerked upright. "Tabitha! You startled me!" Then she paused. "Wait... is... is it time for our," she paused, obviously psyching herself up. "Date?"

I took a deep breath. "No. I'm sorry, Sister."

She frowned. "Are you cancelling it, then?"

I shook my head. "NO! Well, I don't want to. If you want to, we can, but right now... I can't focus on what I need to do in Calverton with... no. That's not it." I paused for a bit, sorting out my thoughts.

Eventually Sister Siobhan prompted me, "why then?"

Something about the way she asked broke the logjam free. I smiled at her, and as she blushed in response, I explained. "I can't give our date the attention it deserves while I'm still focused on the bullshit going on in Calverton."

She nodded. "Your work there is important."

"No." She blinked. "I mean, yeah, it is, but that's just wrecking the Undead's shit. There's some big ugly ones who fucked with my Trolls and Jotnar, and I need to pay them some close personal attention, I think, but that's..." I paused again, but not nearly so long. "That's shit I'm good at. I'll need to pay attention, and it needs to be done, but it's not... not important important. Not in the same way, y'know, paying attention to another person who might actually want to spend some quality time with me is."

She got really, really red, then squeaked out, "oh."

She dropped into her chair, and moved by a sudden impulse I stepped up to her and took one of her hands. I lifted it, bowed down, and brushed my lips across her knuckles, doing my best impression of Johnson when he'd done it to me. "So, can we reschedule our date?"

She squeaked like three times before she managed to bite her lip and just nod.

"Okay then. I'll let you know when. Did you want me to give you some time to prepare?" She blinked a little, and opened her mouth to reply, but I interrupted by saying, "or just show up and snatch you away?" She sat there, quivering, squeaking, until I finally said, "let me know when you decide." She nodded. "Or don't, and see what happens?"

The moment I collapsed back into myself in our bedroom, I burst out laughing at the look I'd left on her face. I'd been watching Saffron's boot up sequence while teasing Sister Siobhan, and now she looked at me and said, "do I want to know?"

"Yeah, probably. I decided to reschedule with Sister Siobhan, what with Calverton taking up all my clock cycles." I rapped the side of my head with a knuckle. "This baby can only handle one big thing at a time, despite all your efforts training me to do otherwise."

"Oh, so she's a big thing now?"

I froze. "Uh..."

She broke down laughing. "Oh, My Goddess. You should... you should see your face. You... Oh, my. Beloved Goddess, for that look alone I would drag her to your altar bound for you to enjoy."

"Gah! No! Bad Saffron! No kidnapping! Consent is important!"

Still chuckling, she rolled over atop me, one knee to either side of my thighs. "Who said she wouldn't Consent to that?"

I had a momentary freeze, and her chuckle when she realized didn't help matters. "No messing with her volition. Seriously."

"Oh, so I must use ordinary Mortal methods to seduce her into Consenting to sacrifice her virtue to you?"

"GAH!"

She relented, lying down atop me, her cheek resting against my breast. "What's wrong, love?"

I dropped my voice, because just about then I realized that while Isnomi hadn't woken up, she still snored in her little toddler bed. "I dunno. I just... I'm not entirely copacetic with the idea of anybody sacrificing anything to me, and I'm equally uncomfortable with the idea of, y'know, banging the shit out of somebody other than one of the two of you."

She nodded. "I see. So why didn't you just cancel?"

I froze again, realizing how many times I'd used what was about to come out of my mouth as a deciding factor over the past few months. "I really wanna?"

I felt her smile against my chest. "A good enough reason for me to bring your desires to fruition, love." She chuckled. "Likely enough reason for Marie to Revel in your desires, should you allow her."

Before I could reply to that Marie cut in with a simple, "Yes."

Saffron lay her fingertips across my lips. "Answer me this, love. If Hilde returns to us, would you object to my dalliance with her?"

My treacherous brain filled with an image of the two of them, then took hold of my mouth and said, "holy shit that would be so fucking hot."

"What of George? The Grand Councilor?"

I glanced down at the top of her head. "You want to get with George?"

She shook her head. "Not really. He deserves some kind of reward, though. I'd ask Dionysus to hold a Revel for him, but that seems so impersonal. But that's not what I asked. Would you object?"

I shrugged. "Eh." Then I thought about last time I'd spoken with him. "Fuck. Would you maybe be willing to share?"

She lost her shit laughing for a moment, then pulled herself back together with an effort of will. "Oh, beloved, I would gift him to you. Of course I would 'share'." She shook her head. "What will it take to get you to realize that while I am absolutely greedy for every second I can get with you, I am not jealous of you? There is, after all," suddenly the three of us lay in the Love Shack, and she kissed me. Plenty of you to go around.

I don't know how my Kitten did it, but a moment later Love Shack Marie had another of me in her arms, and she kissed me even more fiercely than Saffron. Back in the office, I snuggled into Marie and pulled Saffron to me. "Hey guys?"

"Yes?"

"The fleet is taking a break today. Tonight after dark they're doing Solstice things, and I'd kinda like to maybe hit the Big Seven for those, at least a little, but for today..." I paused, hesitating for no good reason I could think of other than the totally irrational fear they'd tell me no.

"Go on, Goof. Spit it out."

"Can we go on a date today? The three of us?"

"No Isnomi?" The Menace had just started her bootup sequence.

"Uh. Okay, one group of us with her, and another group with just the three of us?"

Saffron pulled herself up enough to look me in the eyes. "Of course we can, love. But why?"

I thought about that for a minute until the words made sense. "I've got all these impulses, some of them really dark, almost all of them really hungry, but for today, before I go get myself in a shit ton of trouble tomorrow, before any of the other shit happens... I wanna do something... innocent?"

"Innocent." Saffron's simple statement could have been many things, but it came out with just a hint of teasing.

"Yeah. Something I know is, y'know, just me. Not Her Dark Fatassness."

"So you want me to stop doing this?"

Down in the Love Shack Saffron did something Very Not Innocent. When my eyes uncrossed and I'd pulled Saffron up to keep Menace from staring into them, I said, "would you two be mad if I said yes?"

"You sure?"

Marie upped the Not Innocent Ante; I'm sure she wasn't All In, but it definitely took me a little to get my shit together again. Hell, before Saffron's recent 'anti-distraction' training, I'm pretty sure I couldn't have even if I wanted to. "Yeah." I sighed. "I'm sure."

All of us collapsed back into ourselves, and she snuggled into me, pulling Isnomi into our cuddle puddle as well. "As you wish, my love."