Dear Diary,

"Your choices and yours alone,

Your choices are important,

Choices make you who you are."

- Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Agency

Man, writing this stuff is hard. I think I'm dumb. Like, not even 'too dumb to write a book', but 'so dumb that I made writing a book harder on myself'. Like, somehow instead of being normal and just writing shit down, I gotta go and do a poetry. My biggest worry at this point is that somebody's going to misuse my words, and I go and make them easier to misuse.

Okay, not really. I mean, yes, but no. Shit, definitely tail chasing here, but maybe I need to do that in my Diary rather than do it in my Doctrine. Y'know? Kind of like working out all of my crazy stupid panic here where nobody gives a shit instead of in the book that, apparently, will be guiding generations of people about how they're supposed to live life and shit.

I... really don't know how many people will wind up reading it. I also don't know about translating it into Standardized Celtic. Like, I guess I should? At some point? But I'm gonna write it in English, because I'm fluent in English. I think one of my Language Arts teachers told me I'm hyperfluent or something. But once I've got it down in English I'll sit down with Saffron and have her help me translate it into Celtic that vaguely resembles whatever I come up with.

Seriously. I'm gonna give it out, because I've got a bully pulpit at the moment and not at least saying 'hey, here's how I think people ought to live' when they've pretty much stood me up and asked me how to live sounds wildly irresponsible. But... Apparently I'm the Love Goddess. How many people go to the Goddess of Getting Your Groove On when they've got deep moral problems? Or even when they've got any kind of problem at all other than 'my ashes are insufficiently hauled'.

Wait, wait, wait, I'm still the 'Patron Deity of the Alliance', whether I'm Tabitha or Mimic. The Imperator Worships me, whether I'm Tabitha or Mimic. Honestly I don't know which one she prefers, and I'm a little scared to find out. But either way, it's got me a little twisted around that the Imperator of the Alliance, who sure as shit is wielding at least as much power as any King, isn't Worshipping at the Temple of Kings. She's spending her Worship dollars at the Temples of Wisdom and Love. Which... honestly? Now that I think about it? Sounds surprisingly okay. Almost as good as the Temple of Kings winding up being the Temple of getting drunk and having your past come back to haunt you. Fuck it, I'm down for that. If the people who've been following in the footsteps of thunderdick feel the way the wind is blowing and, y'know, back the fuck down rather than escalating against us? I am absolutely fine with them retiring to get drunk and get their just desserts. Fuck, so long as they're not continuing to fuck people over, I can't even get real worked up about petty bullshit they've done.

Major bullshit, sure. I am a Goddess of Vengeance. They straight up murdered people, and they're not penitent and trying to make that shit right? I'm down for granulating them from the toes up. Fuck it, if they're particularly awful, but also clearly trying to turn their sewage waste barge selves around? I could even just sit there and Revive them every time somebody executed them for a murder they committed. Like, fair's fair, you fucked around, I'm not gonna stop you from finding out, but I'm also apparently big on second chances, according to Saffron. Fuck, I think she's right, really. I gave Diana one. The bitch who had my daughter killed, whose brother killed tens, maybe hundreds of thousands because I made her less pretty, and I still gave her one when she seemed genuinely contrite.

Maybe that was an act, but I kinda doubt it. When you tell somebody you're gonna kill them, then you torture them to death over twelve hours, and their last act as they pass from this Earth is to make sure that the person doing the torturing gets any and all power they have left? Kinda a sign that they acknowledge they fucked up, and hopes somebody does better than them. At least that's the way I'm gonna read it, at least until something comes up that proves me wrong. The money she gave us to rebuild the temple is a nice sign too.

So after delivering the books late yesterday, and realizing that other than the sexy picture books they're not in a common local language, Karen dropped another bombshell on me. This one was more minor grapeshot than a bunker buster, but I wasn't really at my best. "Forgive me, Goddess, but can you find a place to store these?"

"Why not here?"

She looked around, looked up, and gestured at the complete lack of roof. "Rain?"

I facepalmed. "Ah, shit. Yeah. Um... I really don't want to store them in, uh, our Library room. Don't want them getting confused for the originals. But... Gimme a bit?"

"My time is yours, Goddess."

I nodded and stepped across to the Temple of Wisdom, where Ray and Saffron Rae were just closing up the doors. Not, like, locking them or anything, but it looked like everybody was headed home after a long, long weekend Revel. Ray grumped at me when I said, "Hey, guys!"

Saffron Rae turned, held out her arms, and when I stepped to her embraced me. "It's good to see you, Tabitha."

"Yeah, you too! I, uh... Yeah, sorry I haven't stopped by after my birthday or anything."

She just gave me a confused look. "Why would you be sorry?"

I shrugged and looked around as I said, "y'know, we're all Priestesses at the same Temple... I mean, Clergy, and that was a really nice, thoughtful, surprisingly useful present you gave me, and I haven't even been around to socialize, or to Priestess stuff, or anything."

Ray grumbled something under his breath, but Saffron Rae just smiled and said, "you've been overseeing the Liberation of Calverton from the Undead, from what Hestia tells me you have literally undone a curse most thought to be permanent, and you've," she hesitated, clearly trying to find a polite way to say something, then shrugged and just went with, "ascended to Godhood and claimed the Temple of Love as your own. I think your schedule has been full enough to excuse any lack of social calls."

Despite Raymond still looking like he'd tried to suck start the south end of a northbound horse, Saffron Rae seemed pretty genuine about things. "Thanks for understanding. Yeah, I've kinda been swamped. Not like that's changing any time soon, but... maybe a different kind of swamped?"

"Do tell?"

I nodded at the remains of the Temple of Love, which definitely had that 'ruined Temple' look from every fantasy video game ever going on. "Gotta rebuild that. Gotta build our new house. Gotta maybe get the Black Dragon in full working order. Really ought to help rebuild enough of Calverton to make sure everybody's got a place to sleep. Plus, y'know... I'm writing a Holy Book for my new followers and that really sounds fuckin' arrogant and weird as shit to say."

Saffron Rae chuckled in response. "Oh, it's ambitious, but at the same time... Do you intend to stand by what you write?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Taking my time with it, trying to make sure I get it right. Yeah, I might need to add stuff later, or clarify shit, but yeah, I try to be a woman of my word, and that goes double for shit I take the time to write down and everything."

She nodded. "Then I cannot see a single thing wrong with you doing so. It's not arrogant. It's acting with foresight." She smiled at me. "It's even, dare I say, Wise?"

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Raymond grumbled out something like, "Exactly. Should have been here."

I blinked. "Wait... are you upset because Saffron and I got it on in the Temple of Love instead of the Temple of Wisdom?" He opened his mouth to respond, but when nothing came out I asked, "or, y'know, did you want to be involved too?" His look definitely went to cranky places, so I Mimicked Saffron Rae and said, "with permission, of course. But, y'know, there are at least four of us who can pull this trick now."

"The Autumn Equinox is an important Holy Day for the Temple of Wisdom. For the Harvest Gods and Goddesses. A time of reaping, not a time of sowing." He folded his arms across his chest.

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Ray. I really didn't think about that. Honestly, I'd been focused on trying to get my new Highest Priestess a solid start on, y'know, corralling my Worshippers from using me as an excuse to do shady shit, and that turned into kicking Aphrodite out of the Temple she'd screwed up so much, and one thing led to another, and... Uh... Saffron and I kinda got a little enthusiastic. Didn't mean to ruin your special day. I'm sorry. I had a kind of favor to ask, but... I'll figure something else out."

Saffron Rae reached out and touched my arm. "No, Tabitha. Ask. Should it be too much, we will say so, but you've no need to be so harsh to yourself. You intended no harm. If anything, I'm thrilled that the Temple of Love will no longer be a brothel in all but name."

"Uh... about that. There might still be some brothel adjacent activities going on."

She chuckled. "If you mean sex, it would be unwise to assume the Temple of Love wouldn't have at least a little of that."

"Yeah, well. We might be, y'know, renting rooms to professional sex workers. Giving them a safe place to work. It's a job, y'know? Not everybody has the time or resources or rizz to find and woo somebody, but everybody's a little happier after they've had something to take the edge off."

She just raised an eyebrow. "And that something must be sex?"

I shook my head. "Oh, no! No, seriously, I'm thinking we'll try some other stuff too. Maybe a restaurant? Also I kinda maybe want to have something for kids?" Her eyes got a little wide, and I said, "like, school. Teaching them how to read and write, maybe some daycare rooms? Shit, we could do daycare for parents whose kids are little enough they can't get any alone time. Or maybe teach them, like, it's okay to say no?"

"Teach children... That it's okay to say 'no'? Are... Do children in your experience have much problem saying that?"

I shrugged. "You telling me there aren't rich and powerful dudes who snag the cute ones before anybody else can, and then maybe try to get first crack when they're way too young?" Her face was a thundercloud as I said, "I had friends who had that happen. They totally didn't even realize what was happening was wrong. They thought the adults must be right because they were adults. Because kids don't know unless somebody teaches them."

She just nodded. "Yes. I see the Wisdom in that." She took a deep breath and blew it out of her nose. "Forgive me." She chuckled. "I've never actually been in the Temple of Love before. It is, perhaps, not a place I would have seen myself."

"Would have?"

She nodded. "Should you need someone to help with children, I would be honored should you think of me."

I pulled her into a hug, because I totally caught that she hadn't said she wanted to be asked, but she liked the ideas I'd just yanked out of my transverse colon. Meanwhile Raymond grumped. "Still not right."

I rolled my eyes, stepped Saffron Rae and I behind him and swapped our places, then still using her face and voice said, "look, you really think the Temple of Wisdom could use some amorous activity on the altar, just let me know. I'm pretty sure we can get every possible point of contact you've got fully engaged at this point." I leaned into Saffron Rae's ear, "as long as you're okay with it?"

She smirked at me as Raymond grumbled, "not going to be bribed."

She stepped forward, a hand sliding up to his cheek, "oh, my Raymond, you most certainly will, and you know it. As soon as you've grumbled and grumped and gotten over being annoyed at our feast half going to waste, you'll start wondering if she was serious, if the offer is still open." The look on his face was absolutely acknowledgement that she was right on all counts, but he was still annoyed.

"Hey, you just let me know, Ray. You're a good dude. In the meanwhile, did you guys have any food left? I could maybe try to deliver it down to Calverton or something personally?"

She shook her head. "Thank you, but no. Anything remaining has been sent to the docks both here and in Camden Yards, handed out to those in need."

"Cool. Um... is there a room I could store some books in?"

Raymond shot a grumpy look at me, then said, "The grain silos in the basement. Well, the basement near them. It's dry, they should be safe there."

"Cool! Thanks!" I stepped up, gave them each a quick hug, then stepped back to the Temple of Love, where Karen was setting some planks to block access to the worst remaining dangerous areas of the Temple. "Hey Karen. Found a place to store them."

"Where?"

"Temple of Wisdom. Grain silo room."

She looked a little taken aback. "Will they allow me in?"

I snorted, tossed her two of the packs, picked up two myself, then hip checked both of us to the top of the steps into the Temple of Wisdom basement. "Like they've got a choice." I chuckled. "This is the dawn of a new era of cooperation between the Temples of Phileo! We gonna be one big happy family. Really."

She blushed a little at me as I wandered down the steps, then paused. "Goddess? It's not exactly dawn at the moment though." When I stopped and cocked my head, she asked, "Lights?"

I chuckled, deliberately pitching some innuendo into my voice as I said, "but it's fun in the dark sometimes." Then I Booned her with the whole wireframe vision thing.

"Oh! Oh, is this... This isn't... This is hers, isn't it?"

I nodded for her to join me, then waited until she caught up. "Karen, I am her. For all intents and purposes, she is me. All that shit you saw me do that made you say 'I want to be her Priestess'?" She nodded, and I said, "that's all both of us."

As we wandered through the dark looking for someplace that said, 'grain silos', she asked, "So... why am I the Highest Priestess of Tabitha Diaz instead of... the other?"

I smiled at her, overacting the expression so she could see it clearly in wireframe. "Because most people don't know that yet. Hell, a lot of people don't even realize whose Priestess Most High Above All Others Saffron is."

Karen snerked. "That's kind of a mouthful."

"I was in a mood. Saffron and I had just gotten engaged."

She tilted her head. "Oh? How long was your engagement?"

I thought about it while we kept hunting for the dry spot. Kinda the opposite of my normal modus operandi, totally went against all my instincts, probably why it was taking so long. "About twenty minutes, I think? Oh, wait, no, I had to Heal Angel and Bill. So probably closer to thirty minutes."

She laughed. "Somehow that seems very much you, Holiness."

I snorted. "Keep calling me shit like 'Holiness' I'm gonna find myself a pope hat or something, then make you wear it."

"Please do not, Goddess. It would spoil the look of my dress."

I tilted my head. "You like the Yandere Shobitch Wedding Gown?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea what half of those words mean, but it is beautiful. The Sm... Conrad is an artist and craftsman without peer."

"Oh, shit. Remind me when we're done, I gotta go talk to him about designing the new Temple."

It took us like an hour of hunting around to find the fuckin' grain silos. Mostly because they were clearly labelled. With a sign, even. Painted on the wall. Which is nigh impossible to see in wireframe. When I finally caved and used a slow burn Fire Bolt to look around, not only did we see some Franklin Lights, but we also realized we'd walked right past the sign and the cleverly inset, perfectly flush door.

I decided to get a good night's sleep before dealing with Conrad.

Honestly, I spent most of the following day first working on today's verse, then hopping up to our new place with Saffron, Marie, and the Boys. Saffron cut big chunks of stone out of the walls of the valley, and the boys and Marie moved the biggest pieces over to where they joined part of the foundations of first our main house, then the courtyard. The little pieces came over to me, where I turned them into the first above ground layer of the hilltop tower. After a quick discussion with Saffron, I decided to forestall rewarding the boys today. They didn't seem too put out. Not like they've got any lack of outlets.

I did catch them staring when I was standing in my air shield sky box with my feet braced against opposite sides of the box. Co-Located down to take in the view my own self. I'm even less my type now than I was before, but I guess if you liked my general look, the pose was pretty suggestive. I've seen Marie do that same pose before, and yeah, it suggested several things to me at the time. Gave myself a bit of a laugh by laying my arms over their shoulders, saying, "nice view, huh?" Then watching as they tried to deny how long they'd been staring.

But when we finished up for the day, well before sundown what with me having to go talk to Conrad, I managed to connive an extra bath out of Saffron. If you do something that's normally messy, but you do it in a bath while you're bathing, does that make you more or less messy?

Clean and dressed in some comfy casual wear, I stepped into the Workshop. "Son?"

He popped in behind me, and I almost kept from giving in to the jump scare. Almost. I honestly didn't want to stop. I knew what I knew about him, and every time he got a jump scare out of me must have been like a cookie. So, y'know, absolutely my maternal duty to let him keep jump scaring me. Just a little. "Yes, Mother Dearest?"

"How are you with architecture?"