Dear Diary,

Lenny Lancaster, how do I hate thee. Let me count the ways.

Y'know the worst part about it? The things I'm hating him the worst for? Are the things he's given me the most justification for him doing.

So this morning after breakfast Saffron and I got called up to the Practice Yard to meet with Lancaster the Larger. Somehow he looked no less douchey with a light breastplate on, but managed to look a lot more military. I mean, the more military wasn't surprising. Armor. Duh. But you'd think that would make him look less like the living incarnation of Trying Too Hard.

Dammit. He really didn't. I'm just still pissed at him. Fuck.

So we hadn't exactly been side-by-side when we got called up; I'd been working with a random batch of recruits from the Yards who'd been assigned a Phileo Sergeant. Thankfully, he at least looked not-Dan enough to pass for Bag, otherwise I'm not sure I could have gotten buy in from the Yards folks. I mean, yeah, they've signed the papers and taken the cash, and I've got faith they'll do what they've been paid for, but actually respecting the guy nominally in charge will really increase their chances of coming home with all their body parts. Attached to their bodies, even. So mostly I just gave quick instructions and let him take over, nodding encouragement and looking to him when the Volunteers looked to me for confirmation.

Saffron had been working with another group, this one including the hairy dudes I'd recruited. She'd gotten her hands on some of the first batch of crossbows to come out of our cobbled together production line, and she had the group training with them. Just dry firing, because nobody wanted to fire those things pointed at anything that might resemble a friendly, but then she wasn't training them on how to hit a target. Just how to ratchet up the tension, line up more or less shoulder to shoulder, then pull the trigger. With the four biggest dudes holding shields and spears, and the other twelve cycling through, if they could keep that up in combat they might wind up putting one four bolt volley downrange every couple seconds. Not a patch on a machine gun, but ought to do a number on the 'Damn chucklefucks used to arrows and bolts that a shield would do more than provide extra shrapnel for.

At any rate, I got there first, and after a quick exchange of salutes Lancaster just ignored me while he spoke with Hero Potami. From my old ROTC days I remembered, the lower you stood on the pecking order, the more you had to hurry up and wait. Still, I wasn't waiting long before Saffron came into the Yard carrying Vulcan's case. "Saffron Aetos, reporting to the commander as ordered, Sir!"

At that he and Hero Potami both turned. "Aetos. I've heard you and Diaz came up with some new kind of ballista?"

I shut my mouth and nodded supportively while Saffron said, "Not really a ballista, sir, and that does make some performance differences. It is a ranged weapon with significant stopping power, however." At this point I realized she had one of Vulcan's lesser siblings on her back. "I assume you wanted a demonstration?"

"That would explain why I asked you to bring the new weapon." He shot her a smug little smile, like he was being clever or some shit.

She turned to me, "Be a dear and go set up the dummies?"

Before I could open my mouth to say 'sure', Lancaster cut in with, "I had heard the idea was originally Cadet Diaz'?"

I shook my head, "I mean, yeah, technically, but it was really more a bullshit pie in the sky pipe dream. Saffron's the one who turned it into an actual functioning weapon, sir."

"Really. Well, I'd love to hear how you came up with the idea some time when we have time to chat, but for now, be about setting up the targets."

I dashed for the shed with the dummies, losing the rest of the conversation. While I was there I grabbed a couple cheap breastplates and helmets; I put one of the breastplates on the frontmost dummy, then brought the other and the two helmets back and handed the breastplate and a helmet to Potami, then handed the other helmet to Lancaster. He stared at it, raising one eyebrow, but Hero Potami just slipped hers on. I hadn't really thought about sizing, just grabbing something thick enough to stop shrapnel. I'd gone like four sizes too big, and she looked adorable. I looked away before she smote me on general principles, turning to Lancaster and saying, "I recommend you put that on, sir."

He just stared at me until Hero Potami said, "Hero Lancaster?" When he turned to look, I glanced over. She shot me a Tiny Potami Grin of Approval and rapped her helmet with one knuckle. Lancaster harrumphed, but he slipped it on. Sad, while he had some seriously glorious hair that added to his whole 'dignified leader' thing? The man did not have a hat head. Straight up looked goofy.

Meanwhile Saffron had Vulcan out. "Sir, Ma'am, as you can see, while I've strung Vulcan, I have yet to winch any tension onto his cord." She batted at it just to show how loose it lay. Meanwhile, I went to one knee in front of her, just as I'd done with her previous demonstration. Saffron laid a single glowing blue bolt across my back, then said, "observe, please." She pumped Vulcan to full tension quicker than she had before. "Vulcan is now cocked," she slipped the sliding latch in place, "locked," and finally, as she twisted, "and cannot be blocked."

Good God, Loki be thy name, that goddamned bow wasn't just unbelievably effective, he was reliably effective.

I know, right?

He shot bolts pretty good too.

As soon as that vibration hit me, I half stood, covering Saffron with my body, hugging Vulcan between us. I hissed as something rammed into my shoulder blade. A huge metallic clattering echoed through the Yard for a moment before I hissed and pushed myself up. Wooden clattering and a thin hiss of hay fragments settling to the ground kept the place from complete silence. As I looked over Saffron and she nodded, I called, "Everyone clear?"

Hero Potami's voice sliced through the settling noises. "A little help?"

I leapt toward the sound of her voice; she stood over Lancaster, his hands in hers. I charged up a Stabilize, grabbed his left hand, and once she stepped clear, let him have it. He jerked me to the ground beside him, but if the stunned look on his face I glimpsed before I ate paver didn't make it worth, hearing him wheeze out, "point taken. In the future I will take Cadet Diaz' warnings with all due gravity." I heard metal rattle as he climbed to his feet, so I went to push myself upright, only to have my right arm go out from under me, leading me to another, less centered faceplant. "Cadet Diaz? You're injured."

I rolled over onto my back. "OhFuckThatWasStupid." I forced my body to kip up to standing, only to come face first with a Tiny Potami Grin of Approval. She grabbed at my right shoulder, making me wonder if she really approved, or if I'd misread her, and if I hadn't misread her, if I really wanted this kind of approval. Then she spun me around, gripped my shoulder harder, and my eyes lost focus for a second as a 'splurch' noise I never wanted to hear come from that region of my body ever again accompanied a nasty ripping sensation. From behind I heard Potami's quiet, "Create Water," and icy liquid froze parts inside of me that really ought not be exposed to the outside. A moment later, "Heal Injury," and something that felt like mint tastes rolled through my shoulder.

Afterward, while I panted a little as I turned back to face her, I asked, "do you have to do that? I mean, say the Mana Shape name?"

She smirked at me. "It's a habit I picked up in Remedial Mana Shaping in my first year. I could break it, but it's useful."

I didn't mean to cock my head, but I figured rattling my brain might make that make more sense. "What about in a fight?"

Without breaking eye contact, she pointed one hand at the remains of the mass of target dummies, almost-whispered, "Treat Injury," and a Fire Bolt shot downrange.

"Oh my God, that's beautiful. D'you mind if I do that in a fight some time?"

She tilted her head. I don't know whether she needed it to think about my request or me, but after a moment she said, "Twice."

"Fair enough. Thanks!"

Well done, Champion.

Thanks, Boss.

I turned to Lancaster, who stood holding the broken wooden 'spine' of one of the target dummies; it had cracked about a foot from one end. "I'm fairly certain this wasn't broken when it hit me."

I grinned up at him. "Hence the helmet, Sir."

He frowned down at me. "While I commend your bravery, and I now understand the role you undertake in these demonstrations, but..."

I interrupted him by holding up one hand, "Sorry, sir. I got one more thing to do before you ream me out." With that I took off for the far end of the Yard. I found the remains of the armored dummy; I couldn't get the armor off the dummy, because the remaining wooden bits had been half dragged out of the ragged six inch wide hole through the back of the armor. I shrugged, regretted it just a little bit, then gathered up a few of the metal bits that weren't jammed into the pavers and wall, then jogged back and handed them over to Potami. "There you go. You were saying?"

Lancaster nodded and continued like the interruption hadn't happened, "what if you had been hit in the heart? or the head?"

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

I scoffed. "C'mon, sir. Not like anyone would notice brain damage on me, and anybody who's seen what happened on the Equinox knows I'm an utterly heartless bitch."

He just rolled his eyes and muttered, "Odin help me, the Gods made two of them." He looked at Hero Potami and said, "any news from Marshall duBois?"

"No, Hero." She turned to Saffron, held out her hands. "May I please try a shot?"

Saffron held Vulcan out, stroking his stock as she did. "He has opinions regarding that, but if he doesn't mind, certainly."

Hero Potami took Vulcan with appropriate reverence in her eyes, looking him over kinda the same way Loki'd done the first time he held our little God of Crossbows. Despite her carefully keeping his business end pointing down range, I got the strong impression he wanted to put an arrow in my knee for some fucking reason or another. Anyway, I ran down and set up another batch of dummies, this time throwing sets of cheap assed armor on all of them. I jogged back a little sweaty; Hero Potami'd kept Vulcan pointed at the sky the entire time. No idea where she'd learned trigger discipline, but fuckit, not gonna complain.

I got behind Potami and off to the side, then slid Saffron behind me. She grabbed my shoulder and peeked over it. "That kinda defeats the purpose."

"I'm mostly covered. Besides, I trust you to restore any loss I might suffer, my High Priestess of Loki."

"If you make me revive you, I'm gonna spank you."

"Oh. Oh, no. Not that," she deadpanned as we waited for Potami to finish much more carefully cocking Vulcan.

As she did, Lancaster stepped in front of both of us, standing just hipshot enough that we could see around him to the targets. "Thank you sir, but that's really not needed."

He sniffed. "The day a Lancaster Hero places a Cadet in danger they need not be in? I'll end them myself." Then he sighed as Potami loaded Vulcan and took her time aiming. "That weapon refuses to be parted from you?"

Saffron nodded, never moving her chin from my shoulder. "Afraid so, sir."

"My decision becomes even more constrained then. I am sorry to have to tell you this, but I cannot in good conscience keep you off the field, Cadet Aetos."

Before either of us could reply, Vulcan thrummed, and the far end of the Yard exploded into a maelstrom of flashing metal and splinters. A tiny yet distinct squeak filled the courtyard precisely, then disappeared under the sound of an ongoing tinkle of metal shavings raining from the sky. I cleared my throat and said, "what about me, Sir?"

He shot us both a paternal grin with, for a Lancaster, a surprisingly small amount of condescension, and said, "Your eagerness to defend Phileo is admirable, Cadet Diaz, but despite the record number of troops you've recruited, we haven't enough to deploy the Freshman Cadets. If we did, I would most certainly do so; with those numbers we might force a surrender even without engaging their main force in battle."

I frowned, "We've got more fifteen man squads than we do Cadets to train them, sir."

The condescension got a lot thicker when he said, "quick lesson on deployment, as well as the psychology of warfare. When I march out, if I have the Volunteers available, I have at least one spare squad per Hero on the field. The same goes for Senior Cadets, who approach the effectiveness of a Hero on the battlefield, especially supported by a squad. On such a field, Cadets can be mistaken for Senior Cadets, which means the enemy must account for them as such. However, if we had so many squads and none spare? They'd know we'd brought Freshman Cadets to the field as a ruse." He looked me in the eye, checking for comprehension. Or maybe lightning bugs where my brain ought to be.

"You," I paused a moment, "you make the squads sound like horses or something."

He smiled down at me, practically glowing with condescension. "Excellent analogy, Diaz! You are in no way as hopeless as I'd feared you'd be when Lachlan passed on duBois' opinion of you to me."

What the fuck else could I say to that steaming pile of mixed excrement? "Thank you, sir!"

Hero Potami walked over, daintily stepping over a few larger pieces of shrapnel that had rained down from above. She moved to hand Vulcan back to Saffron, but Lancaster interposed himself, half-looking at Saffron when he said, "may I?"

Saffron nodded, although her fingers dug into my shoulders as she said, "If he allows it."

Lancaster chuckled and lifted Vulcan out of Hero Potami's open hands.

He tried to lift Vulcan. I gotta say, he didn't so much as strain to lift Vulcan and Potami both, Vulcan sticking to her hands like he'd been welded there. "That's odd." He raised his left hand and waved it through the Shape for Inspect. After a moment Hero Potami dropped to the ground, sticking the landing perfectly, as Lancaster's right hand leapt from Vulcan's stock like the crossbow had burned him.

"Did you know?" he snapped out.

Like I've mentioned before, 'I have no knowledge of that' hits different when you really don't. "Know what, sir?"

Lancaster drew a deep breath, glanced around at the doors, then at Potami. "Ensure the Yard is secure." Then he drew himself up, gathering his scattered dignity. "Did you do this, High Priestess of Mimic?" Points to him, he didn't stutter or choke on that last word.

"I was instrumental in his creation. I worked with Maintenance Smith Jon, first designing, then creating, then assembling all of his parts." She sounded as confused as I was.

"Did it have a hand in creating that?" He waved a hand at Vulcan.

"It, sir?"

"Mimic." If he whispered, I guess he could argue that we stood under open sky, and he was worried about spies or some shit. Not like we hadn't just had a whole thing about this a couple days ago.

"Her, High Priest." Saffron replied.

"Fine. She had a hand in creating that?"

She shrugged, "him, and unless you count inspiration, no she did not."

I chimed in, "Loki took the second shot with him, remember? He kinda fondled him a lot before he did, too."

Lancaster relaxed the tiniest of fractions, then shook his head. "No. That might explain... but no." He shook his head. "Forgive me. Many of the concerns pressing me are unworthy of a Lancaster General of Phileo." He turned and looked Saffron dead in the eye. "High Priestess? A moment?"

She stepped out from behind me. I got that weird anti-tingle across my front, and she stood clad in glowing midnight. And six inches taller, but if I laughed at that now I knew she'd find some way to addict me to something I'd find embarrassingly unpleasant to admit I found erotic. Like, I dunno, furries... shit. Marie. Goddammit, why can't I have just one fucking thing not make me feel like a total weeb for one day?

Anyhow, she spoke, and darkness writhed through the Yard, killing the sound of metallic rain. "Yes, General?"

"Mimic still supports us?"

Do you?

I mean, he's a dick, but he seems to know Generaling. Besides, if he really pissed me off, I wouldn't take it out on Phileo, and I sure as shit wouldn't take it out on Camden. I'd just frag his ass.

She nodded, "Her support of Camden Yards and Phileo City remains unwavering. She has doubts about you, as you might imagine, from our first meeting, but she assures me that should you displease her too greatly, she will not withdraw her support from her Cities, but simply remove you from command."

"By what authority?"

More anti-tingles, and sound and light flickered. "Oh. Sorry, General. I'd meant to imply, but if I must state, if you displease her too greatly, she will erase your very existence."

That's not what I said.

Poetic license. Also, he's an Earthly Power representing a Divine one, and we both know I can bribe you into eradicating him.

Goddammit. Lime fucking green, and everybody but me can see it. I sighed.

For his part, Lancaster didn't flinch, just took a moment to absorb Saffron's pronouncement, then said, "so long as her displeasure comes from my failure as a General, that is just as it should be. What of the other Mor? Do they stand with us?"

She shrugged, and the antithesis of thunder and lightning filled the Yard when she spoke, "if they choose to interfere and do not stand with us, they will not stand long, and will regret their foolishness for the exquisitely excruciating remainder of their existence."

I did not know I had a fucking poetry kink. You are making me a nerd.

Goof. I simply expose the true nerd within, and she revels in thanking me for it.

For Lancaster's part, he drew himself up, nodded, and turned to Potemi. "be sure we have at least two spare squads trained with those bows for each squad's worth of bows we have."

"Yes, General." Setting Vulcan in his case, she turned and headed for the door.

Lancaster turned to us, nodded at us again, and as he turned to go said, "return to training once you've stored him properly and are back in uniform. I'd also recommend you Inspect him, if you haven't done so already."

We looked at each other, then carefully waited until he'd gone through the doors before rushing over, Inspect already flaring to life.

NAME

Vulcan

RACE

Hybrid

HYBRID

Fae (10%) / Bag (2.5%) / Human (2.5%) / Mor (85%)

AGE

Adult

ATTRIBUTES

STRENGTH

16

AGILITY

16

ENDURANCE

16

REASON

2

MEMORY

4

PERSONALITY

8

AFFINITIES

Air (5%) / Earth (5%) / Fire (90%)

PATRON

Undeclared

SKILLS

None

RACIAL SKILLS

ARCHERY

16

DEVASTATE

16

"Okay, did not expect that."

"You are a terrifying wonder. I suspect we may be late getting back to training. so we'd best hurry."

"Yeah, let's do that." I packed Vulcan away properly, because despite my fervent wishes, possibly even a few whines and pleas, Saffron didn't really feel stable bending over or squatting down in her new boots. He just smugged at me from inside his case.

As we walked through the Eastern doors, I froze, forcing Saffron to stop since she'd been holding my hand for a little extra balance. Slowly I turned around and looked at the complete lack of corresponding door in the Western Yard wall of the Practice Yard, which had been symmetrical in every way since the day I first explored it. Then I looked back at the door we stood in. I looked at Saffron, and a new Grin slipped onto her face.

"Just noticed that?"