Dear Diary,

Yeah, the whole hibernation thing sounded good when I first realized, but again I'm hit with another example of how I've grown up. Back in my pre-isekai days, I'd have gone for hibernation in a heartbeat. But back then, and I think I may have mentioned this once or twice, I wasn't so much living my life as avoiding it. Hibernation is just the ultimate in avoidance techniques. Nom a bunch, burrow in, and sleep until conditions are right for living. Which, if the conditions are never right, means just sleeping life away.

Thinking about it like that brings back that whole 'is this real, or just some twisted fantasy cooked up by my dying brain' thing, which I've mostly come to terms with. I suppose spelling it out isn't a bad idea, though. Everything my senses tell me says this world is real, and has real people in it that ought to be treated as real people and loved and cared for and nurtured and protected and avenged from those who don't treat them like they're real people. But if it's not, if this is my dying brain feeding me some kind of dying fantasy, or doing the same with me lying in a coma somewhere or whatever, it's still another chance for me to actually live my life, rather than trying to avoid it. I'd be a very special kind of stupid to give up that chance. The problem with the Matrix isn't that it isn't 'real', but that nobody in it consented to be in it.

Yeah, that could be said of life in general, too, but that's way too deep for me. Short version, soft Saffron tiddy make dopamine flow, fuzzy Mittens mauling make endorphins flood brain, caring for kids makes me happy. So long as I've got the power to stay here and be with them, that's what I'm gonna do. I just kinda hope I never wind up having to choose between protecting them all and staying with them, because that would suck ass. I... Shit. I'm growing up, but I'm not sure I'm that grown up yet. The right thing to do there is absolutely to protect them. But I'm not sure I could do that. Fuck, does that mean that Past Me was a better person than me? Or that I've actually begun to have something resembling self-worth? I have no fuckin' clue, and if someone comes to me with that kind of ransom demand any time soon, I'm gonna beat them to death with their own brain.

Of course, while I don't want to check out of life like I did back in the day, I could still see some value in just taking a couple month nap. Okay, maybe not that long, but a couple days where me and the fam just snuggle up and ignore everything else in the fuckin' world? I could do that. Now, of course, I wonder how much of me being okay with that comes from all of the folks I care about being snuggled in with me while I snooze.

Wait, wait, wait, I'm sure I told Saffron I was gonna get her to play hookey from Imperatoring for a day or three. I'm absolutely gonna hold her to that and get her and everybody else to climb into that big fuckin' bed and sleep in each other's warmth.

Speaking of warmth, there was not a lot of that outside over the past couple days. Did not matter to my ladies around the Maw, although I think they might have just been luxuriating in the whole 'Mimic doesn't like it cold, so the Maw is always warm'. If you can't have it in real life, having it in a dream isn't half bad, I guess.

Got up early, what with this being my teaching day, and after hugs and kisses for each and every one of my kids and partners in whatever serving sizes they wanted, I hopped down to the Academy. When Murder Mittens brought me my spicy eggs, sausage, and bread, I waved her over. After a thank you kiss, I whispered, "is this why you're always up so much earlier than everyone else? To make breakfast here at the Academy?"

She smiled at me, booped my nose, and said, "Yes."

"You didn't realize that?" asked Siobhan from where she'd snagged a seat beside me. She didn't always eat up at the high table any more, what with still getting her Marie cooking at home, but for whatever reason she'd decided to join me today.

I shrugged. "Hey, we both know I'm a perpetually clue free zone."

She giggled a little, hugged me with one arm, then went back to breakfasting. I think she might have had some actual work to do today, like a staff meeting or a class to teach.

When I saw the first Cadets get up and head out, the me Co-Located out to the Practice Yard rushed to finish the prep work I'd been doing. I stepped to the western end of the Yard, with the idea that I could deal with the glare better than them. Also, oddly enough, sometimes when something got backlit hard enough, my whole wireframe thing kicked in. Interesting point, Cadet Citron wound up being the first one in formation this morning. I nodded hello, he just looked sour. Not, like, such an awful face I had to do something about it, but clearly not happy with the situation.

Vickerson... Vickerson did something I'd never thought of. When everybody else got in line, one group lined up with a little dude at the front; his blue and white nametag said, 'Aetos', which I'd come to realize didn't mean shit in terms of 'relations'. Yeah, in theory all of them were distant cousins, but in theory everybody from PR is also Taino. Probably true, but so marginal as to be functionally meaningless. At any rate, when Vickerson jogged out, she stepped up next to him, and her column just took a step back to let her slot into the front. I nodded to her as well, then waited for the last few stragglers to get into formation.

"Good Morning, Cadets!" Vickerson's column managed a decent 'Good Morning, Instructor Diaz', but the rest were all pretty lackluster. So, in time honored tradition, I called out, "what was that? Couldn't quite hear you. Probably the scarring in my ears or something. Let's try that again. Good Morning, Cadets!"

This time they all got the clue. For his part, Citron might have looked cranky about it, but he sure as shit bellowed out, "Good Morning, Instructor Diaz!"

"Before we get started, a few things. First and foremost, last week someone reported some potential favoritism on my part to the Marshall." Citron tensed up, but so did a bunch of the class. Nobody likes a snitch. "Just to set the record straight, Cadet Vickerson served in the Calverton Campaign, and we know each other from there. While there weren't a lot of combat fatalities that campaign, it was three months of hard work clearing all the Undead out of Calverton. Cadet Vickerson, then Sergeant Vickerson, wound up doing one of the most boring, unglamorous, yet dangerous jobs in that Campaign, and she did a bang up job of it. When it comes to the purely military aspect of being a Cadet or Hero, she's got a bit of a head start on those of you coming here fresh from your momma's house." I nodded to the Aetos behind her. "It looks like some of you have twigged to that already. Hopefully the rest of you will take advantage of that knowledge. Politely, of course, but having someone to give you advice when you can't or don't want to have something on the record is priceless."

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With that I met Citron's eyes, but didn't actually stop long enough to call him out. "That said, I want to commend the Cadet who put their reputation at risk to bring that potential conflict of interest to the Marshall's attention. It might not have been very well thought out, but it took some stones, and another big part of being a Hero is doing what you think is right, even when it might cost you."

I paused long enough for all of them to take that in, then called out, "So going forward, I want you all to feel free to come to me with things like that. I'd appreciate if you didn't interrupt class with it, but as you saw last week, there's a lot of time when you guys are doing things and I'm just watching to make sure nobody gets hurt. So unless it's something urgent, hold off until then. Or ask me here in formation at the beginning, I guess. So, before we get started today, does anybody have any questions or concerns?"

A Cadet from one of the middle columns between Citron's and Vickerson's raised her hand. I squinted a little to read her gold and black nametag. "Yes, Cadet Hildegarde?"

"Did you sleep with her, Ma'am?"

Oof. Well, I did ask. Of course, I didn't have to play by somebody else's rules. "No, Cadet, I did not. Just to quell any further rumors, there was no sleeping involved, before or after the fucking. Sergeant Vickerson performed her duties well enough that her command structure decided she deserved a reward, and after consulting with the Imperator, she chose that as her reward." They all looked a little shocked at that. "Everyone in this class is an Alliance Cadet. You may at any time be called on to risk your life to protect the Alliance and her citizens. By the time you are halfway through this class, you will be in better shape than you have ever been in, and by the end of it better shape than anyone but a handful of people outside the Alliance. There are thirty two of you in this class alone, and I'm fairly certain there are at least a few dozen more. Fucking may happen. So long as everything is consensual and between peers, meaning with another Cadet, I don't give a shit who you fuck around with. Or don't. But if I hear one of you is pressuring someone else about that kind of thing, you are in for a world of hurt. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Instructor Diaz!"

I nodded to Hildegarde. "Did I answer your question?"

"Uh... Yes, Ma'am." I scanned the crowd. "Any other questions?" Citron raised his hand. "Yes, Cadet?"

"What are we doing today, Ma'am?"

I nodded and smiled. "Excellent question, Cadet! First we're going to warm up with an nice leisurely run. Five miles is a nice, round number. Then we'll do some stretching to finish our warmup, and then I'm gonna teach you to play a new game. It's not nearly as painful as Squadball, but it's a lot more of a workout if you're playing it right." I looked back at Citron. "That answer your question?"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Okay then. Cadets! Outer track, at a run!" They charged off, column leaders at the front. In Citron's case, I'm pretty sure he couldn't stand to see somebody's ass in front of him. In Vickerson's, I realized she was already setting a pace for her column, one they could keep up all morning if they had to. I jogged up beside her and, loud enough for everyone to hear without me screaming, said, "Cadet Vickerson, I see you're setting a good, sustainable pace there."

"Yes, Instructor!"

"Excellent instincts for a Soldier. Gotta be sure you can fight when you get there. Smart." I paused a beat, then said, "unfortunately, you are not training to be Soldiers. You are training to be Heroes. Who sprint all the way there, then fight anyway. Pick! Up! The! Pace!" She got the message when I said, 'pick', and by the time I shouted, 'pace', her whole column had started pushing Citron to stay in front. He did manage to stay in front, but by the time I slowed them down to a run rather than a sprint, they all kinda gleamed with sweat. They'd cool off while we stretched.

Once I had them all warmed up, I gave them the abbreviated rules for basketball, then divvied them up into eight teams, two on each of the courts I'd sectioned off across the Yard. I think they were a little short for normal basketball courts, but since none of them had seen a 'normal' court, they didn't complain. I wound up Shaping a lot of Heal Injury, mostly for broken fingers. Well, broken, sprained, jammed, generally fucked up. One Cadet managed to try to sandpaper their own face off on the pavers, which I fixed up before she came to. By the end of the day, which we finished with a bit more stretching and a much more sedate run, I sent them all down to the Infirmary before dinner, just to have DeLeon and Siobhan check them over and make sure I hadn't missed anything.

As I did, I pulled Citron out of the crowd. When everybody else was gone, I said, "I meant what I said, Citron. It takes some guts to risk your position, not to mention your neck, to call it out when you think someone in a position of power isn't playing fair. I held up the back of one of my hands. "More than one of these scars are from me doing shit just like that. Standing up for what I thought was right, even when somebody objected, violently." I let him look, then clapped him on the shoulder. "Going forward, I'd appreciate it if you come to me with shit like that. I'd hate to have anybody's reputation ruined by stupid rumors, either about being somebody's bed toy or about being a snitch. I promise you right now, so long as you bring that shit to me in good faith? I will absolutely hear you out and do my dead level best to make sure everything's fair." I paused, then said, "You think you can do that?"

He frowned at me, but nodded. "Do you really think you can make things 'fair', Champion?"

I chuckled. "D'you know what Marshall duBois once told my class about that?" When he shook his head, I imitated duBois voice as best I could and growled out, "life isn't fair, but it's our job as Heroes to Make It So!" I nodded, used my hand on his shoulder to spin him around and propel him toward the door, and said, "make sure Doctor DeLeon checks you out before you head to Dinner. I've got a lot of juice for Heal Injury, but I am by no means a professional Healer, and I'd hate to have you have problems with writing or shit because I fucked up."

He trailed in a little late to dinner, which I'd decided to eat in the Dining Hall as a show of solidarity with the Cadets and staff, I guess. More fool me, because after dinner, right before Siobhan and I stood up to go, the Headmaster called me over. Siobhan trailing behind, I walked over and stood in front of the table. "Whatcha need, Headmaster?"

"Two things. First, I was wondering if you could take a group of Senior Cadets on a recon in force to the northwest of your Homestead."

"I mean, I guess so, but why me and why there?"

He smiled. "You, because it's your Homestead. Well, the Imperator's, but I think the lack of cataclysm makes it clear you're still together. At any rate, your Homestead is the northwesternmost point currently officially claimed by Phileo. As such, you're our border with the wilderness."

I frowned a little at that. "Aren't there any locals out there?"

He shrugged. "Possibly, but we've no official contact with them. Yet another reason to send you; you've certainly the authority to treat with any neighbors you come across."

"And I'm taking the Senior Cadets why?"

He laughed. "Because your own case notwithstanding, we do try to have our Cadets have some real world experience under the watchful eye of a Hero before they're thrust into the real world on their own."