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Diary of a Teenaged Mimic
Day Two Hundred And Fifteen

Day Two Hundred And Fifteen

Dear Diary,

Someday I'll learn to think ahead. Apparently not today.

So we got to the farm one day north and one day west of Lancaster House just before the sun set. It looked smaller than the one we'd just left; two story main farmhouse, one story bunkhouses extending out in front of the farmhouse. Like all the other farms we'd seen in Lancaster territory, the three buildings formed three walls to a central courtyard. Unlike the other farms, with this one we hit cleared road about a quarter day out from the farmstead itself, and smoke rose from chimneys atop all three farmstead buildings, as well as from the smallest of the surrounding barns.

"Weird." What with the cleared road and lack of wildlife, Lancaster and I had taken to the front of the formation, with our two units trailing us. If somebody had cleared the road this far, they might have scouts out, and there certainly weren't any really obnoxious local predators.

"What's that, Commander?"

"I never thought about it, but I don't remember seeing chimneys on barns before."

He shrugged. "Most barns are for storing livestock, which usually means storing hay and straw in the barn as well. One ill timed spark and the whole thing goes up."

I nodded toward the one barn with a chimney. "So what about that then?"

He chuckled a bit, but it had none of the casual condescension I'd come to associate with Lancasters as a whole. "I forget, you're definitely a city girl."

I shrugged. "No point in denying it. Cows, pigs, chicken, they all make the same sound." When he gave me a head-cocked, full on 'wtf, Diaz?' look, I smiled and said, "sizzle."

That turned his chuckle into a full on laugh, and I heard some laughter from the unit right behind us as well. Shaking his head at my pernicious goofiness, he said, "that's not a barn. That's a shed."

"Okay, country boy, care to tell me the difference?"

He nodded, saying, "Like I said, barns are usually for livestock. If they're well insulated, the livestock themselves will heat them up enough for the animals to survive even a harsh winter. Sheds are for tools, or for doing work you don't want done in the houses."

"So what kind of a shed is that then?"

He shrugged. "No idea. If I had to guess, though, since they've got it warmed up, either a tanning shed or a birthing shed. In the former case, you don't want things freezing halfway through the process. In the latter, some animals are susceptible to cold when they're fresh from the womb."

I shook my head, still having trouble wrapping my head around the thought that Larry Lancaster actually had, y'know, knowledge and skills under all the arrogance and inferiority complex. "Never would have guessed that you'd know so much about farming."

He shot me a wry look and said, "I don't know enough to actually do it, although I'd like to think I could figure it out before people starved to death. I just know enough to understand whether a problem is a minor thing where a farmstead just needs some extra time or reduced taxes, a real problem where they'll need some extra hands or materials to fix things, or an absolute catastrophe where we might need to move the survivors into Lancaster House for a time."

"Damn, Larry. Y'know, I'm not sure I would have done that in Bonnie's place, but priorities, I guess?"

He lifted an eyebrow, lowering his voice as we got close enough to the houses that a dude walking from the farmhouse to a bunkhouse saw us and waved. "Done what?"

Just loud enough to carry to him, I said, "helped you pull your head out of your ass."

I'd wondered exactly how far his newfound enlightenment had got, and his reaction told me the answer was 'far enough' when he said, "saving my life certainly helped with that. Risking her own career as a Hero to do so? I think that might have been what shook me enough to..."

When he trailed off, I said, "yeah, I get it." I waved at the guy in the courtyard, then said, "anyhow, time to look sharp, me as Commander and you as Heir, right?"

He nodded, then called out, "hallo the house!" We'd never stopped advancing, and by now the guy certainly heard Larry's shout.

The guy shouted back, "Master Lancaster, is that you?"

Lancaster turned to the troops and said, "follow along at your own pace," then turned and jogged toward the courtyard. I nodded to the Sergeant and followed him. Our Volunteers, at least half of them Veterans, could maintain a pretty good pace through the day, even more impressive when they were breaking trail through the snow, but there's 'in good shape' endurance and then there's duBois' Heroic Minimum Endurance Standards. For all that he'd bitched about it, Larry had actually made that latter benchmark. For once I didn't really feel the need to show him up, so I just followed along behind him.

The guy in the courtyard had advanced to the near edge, with just enough space for us to stand on the pavers without crowding him. As we approached I gave him a visual once-over. Decent clothing with at least three layers showing, the outer layer a kind of shiny leather poncho, the inner ones poking out at the neck something fuzzy and some kind of linen collar. He didn't have a hood, but with curly dirty blond hair sticking out at least two inches from every part of his face but his eyes, I'm pretty sure he didn't need one just to step outside.

He reached out a hand to Larry when we got to the edge of the courtyard. "Welcome, Master Lancaster. I'm not sure if you remember me. I'm farmstead holder Norville Lands."

Larry nodded as he shook Norville's hand. "It's Heir Lancaster now, Holder Lands. I recall you from my father's tour of the farmsteads three years ago. You look as if you're doing well."

When Larry said 'Heir Lancaster', Norville blanched. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Heir."

Larry shook his head and nodded toward me. "Lachlan named me Heir when he thought himself lost to the Plague, but Commander Diaz managed to snatch him from the hands of the Valkyries. I expect he'll be fully back on his feet by now."

Norville shot me a weird look when Larry named me as 'commander', but he held out a hand for me to shake. "Good to meet you, Commander Diaz. Praise be, that you were able to heal Heir... I mean, Master Lancaster. He's very well loved among the farmsteads." The moment those words left Norville's mouth, he blanched, then turned to Larry. "Meaning no offense to yourself, sir."

Larry laughed, an actual laugh rather than a dastardly snicker or some shit. "Quite all right, Holder. I'm afraid I may have been a little too full of myself to make a good impression previously."

I got the impression Norville wanted to check Larry to make sure he wasn't some kind of doppleganger, but all he said was, "you were Master Lancaster. You never behaved inappropriately."

Larry sighed. "You mean I never behaved in a way my father would disapprove of. It has come to my attention that not only was my behavior potentially offensive, my father's standards in that regard may be lacking." Norville blinked. He might have leaned away from Larry just a touch, like he expected lightning to strike at any moment. Larry's smile took on a grim hardness, one that I remembered from his fight with the Valkyrie. "Should he disagree, it will fall on me to be better than him."

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"As... as you say, Heir." The troops tromped up behind us, the Sergeants calling them to halt just short of the courtyard. "Ah, will you be needing to billet your troops here?"

"Have you any troops billeted presently?"

"No, sir. We might need to double bunk a few, but I'm sure we can get everyone in out of the cold."

"Before that," Larry turned to me, "Commander?"

I took the lead and asked, "Holder Lands, has anyone at the farm taken ill over the course of the last four months?"

"No, sir. Ah, no, ma'am." The honorific felt kinda weird, since the guy looked to be in his thirties at least. I got it, though; sometimes the person in charge wasn't going to be the oldest person in the room. Or the whitest. Or the male-ist. Still felt nearly as weird coming from him as it seemed to be for him though.

I nodded. "Good to hear. Have you had any visitors from other farms in that time?"

He shrugged. "Just around that long ago we had Volunteers coming through. Most of them would stay the night. I found it odd that Lord Lancaster would call in the Volunteers with winter hard upon their heels, but..." He shrugged as if to relieve himself of any responsibility for the vagaries of Lords.

I drew in a deep breath, then blew it out. "Well. Hopefully your farmstead here is past the edge of the Plague's reach."

"Plague?"

I nodded. "Yep. Hit everywhere that we've checked east and south of here. We'll be leaving a unit of Volunteers here to enforce quarantine, and we'll need to Assess everyone here. Cure them if they need it."

Norville got a kind of dismissive look on his face and said, "my wi..." He stopped, choking off what he'd been about to say. "The senior woman here is a Priestess of Hestia, she's Cured anyone who felt as much as a tickle in their throat or stuffiness in their head. Uh, ma'am."

I kept nodding, trying to keep him from spooking too badly. "Good to hear. While we're here we'll show her how to use Assess to spot the Plague that's ripped its way through the Cities to the east, and we'll Assess them just to make sure. Between her and the unit we leave with you, I think this point on the quarantine cordon will be in good hands. D'you agree, Larry?"

While I hadn't been looking at him, Larry'd gotten a close cousin to his family's kumquat look. He quietly asked, "Holder Lands, I require honesty of you."

Norville bit back a sigh, just saying, "yes, sir."

"You are married to the senior woman at this farmstead, who is a Priestess of Hestia?"

I got the weirdest impression the guy in front of us felt like he was looking at the gallows when he half-whispered, "yes, sir."

Larry nodded, curtly, then reached out one hand, lifted one of Norville's hands, and thwapped him on the back of the wrist with two fingers. "There. In my judgement, the consequences in full for your disobedience to the Laws and Customs of Lancaster House." When the guy looked up at Larry with poorly disguised wonder, Larry continued. "I am ordering you to tell no one of this until such time as you hear otherwise from myself, Master Lachlan Lancaster," he cocked his head and looked at me. "Or Commander Diaz."

"Yes, sir?"

"It has come to my attention that those Laws and Customs require... revision. I cannot revise them at present, obviously, but my father will not live forever. Should I present my desired changes in an appropriate manner, he may even make those changes while he yet lives."

I'd never actually thought I'd hear Larry contemplating standing up to his father. Doing so as a coldly calculated decision rather than a spat of pique? That shit blew me out of the water. I slapped my best 'supporting friend' face on while he spoke, because inside? Some part of me wanted to check for dopplegangers as much as Holder Norville had earlier.

"Holder Norville?" I pulled his attention back to me.

"Yes, ma'am?" The honorific sounded a lot more natural now, oddly enough.

"Lead on to the house; we need to show your Priestess wife how to spot the shit we've been fighting."

"Yes, ma'am!" He paused, "Uh, head on to the house, I'll get your men in out of the cold before I join you."

I nodded, and Larry and I strode toward the house while Norville ran over to one bunkhouse, leaned in, and shouted, "Everybody up! To the north bunkhouse, we've got visitors that need beds!" I heard a bunch of grumbling before we went in the house, but nobody actually sounding angry, just sort of resigned. Then again, I figure they all knew that if they were the visitors, they'd want to get in and warm just as much.

When we entered the house, half a dozen women sitting at a dinner table looked up like deer caught in headlights. The men started to gabble something, but Larry shut them all down when he said, "I am aware of your... irregularities here. All due consequences have been assessed and administered. Holder Lands will explain when he comes in, I'm certain." He looked directly at the woman seated to the left of the head of the table and asked, "Priestess of Hestia?" The woman just nodded. "Excellent. We'll need to work with you on Assessing your family and hands to be sure none of them are infected with the Plague that has caused so many deaths to the east of here."

Turns out Caitlyn, the Priestess, firmly adhered to the 'get it done now' school of medicine. Not only that, but apparently she had two apprentices, one a daughter, the other a niece, who she'd been training as Healers as well. Before any of the five of us sat down to dinner, we not only Assessed everyone in the farmhouse, but all the hands in the north bunkhouse as well. The only one who came up positive? Caitlyn herself. Apparently any time anybody got so much as a sniffle she Cured the living shit out of them, which had stopped the Plague cold, but whatever whammy Priestesses got, especially Healer Priestesses? Let her walk around infected without so much as a scratchy throat.

She looked a little embarrassed about that, but not enough to stop me from sending all the Plague pathogens in her to meet Sengann by blasting her with the mother of all Cures.

Once we'd finished up, the five of us plus Norville sat down to a late dinner, served by a couple women who'd eaten earlier. As we finished up, Norville asked, "ah, will you two be wanting the Master suite, then?"

Larry and I looked at each other, then broke down laughing. "No, no, no. Nothing like that. We'll be fine sharing the bunkhouse with the troops."

Larry's explanation seemed to confuse Norville and absolutely scandalize Caitlyn's niece, so I added, "I'm married, and Larry here's set on somebody else, I think."

Before I could say anything else, Larry added, "what with her wife being Imperator of the allied Cities, I suspect my life would be both interesting and short should I have designs on Commander Diaz."

That led into a spirited discussion of the new political formations around, which lasted well into the night. Eventually, probably a bit after midnight, Larry and I took our leave and stumbled out to the bunkhouse, where we sacked out on the floor in our bedrolls. The troops had figured we'd sleep inside, and we didn't want to roust anybody out. That same Endurance that let the pair of us sprint when our Volunteers had nothing left but a determined walk also let us survive sleeping on the floorboards better than them, too.

Mimic dreamt of more tic-tac-toe. Or, not so much tic tac toe as that Japanese game? The one with the grid and black and white stones? Never can remember what it's called, but saw an anime about it once. Hiroko no go, I think was the title, which never made any damn sense since he went lots of places to play that fuckin' game.

In the morning, after breakfast, I poked Saffron. Kitten? Everything okay?

Yes, love. I was tired last night, and saw you were in the middle of teaching the Priestesses there how to Assess for the Plague, so I went to sleep without bothering you.

You're never a bother, Kitten. Really.

I know, sweet Tabitha, but there are times when even the most pleasant of hugs will jostle an elbow that ought not be jostled.

Fair point. You gonna be okay to visit tonight?

I can't guarantee anything, but if I can? I will.

I get it. Love you, Kitten.

Love you too, Goof.

When we got outside with the one unit going with us gathered up in formation, I had a sudden rush of brains to the head. "Dammit."

Larry looked at me, "what is it, Commander?"

I sighed. "If we'd only brought the one unit, I could Translocate the two of us back to the farm we were at the night before last."

"Can you bring the whole unit?"

I opened my mouth to say 'no', but paused, thinking about it. Hey Boss?

Yes, Tabitha?

Do you think I'm up to carrying sixteen people through a Translocate?

He went silent a bit. Tabitha?

Yes, Boss?

You managed to Co-Locate into over two thousand bodies at the Battle of Newark and Camden Yards. Which, I'll remind you, are only considered one battle because you, yourself, won both of them at the same time.

Yeah? Is that a lot?

You were Translocating all of those bodies nigh simultaneously throughout the battle.

Am I missing something?

I caught an earful of Jotnar sigh, followed by, Two thousand is generally considered a much higher number than sixteen.

Oh. Yeah, Thanks Boss. You're the best.

I know.

"Okay, everybody, join hands."

They did, and I stepped us all to the farm where we'd started the morning before. I felt like I'd just run a marathon at a sprint, which meant I needed to stand there with my hands on my thighs panting a bit, and I really appreciated being at the back of the column when we marched off to the East, but other than that?

Looked like your girl Tabitha was finally healing up.

Now if I could only get my scars to stop from showing up in livid red whenever I'm out of breath.