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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 95 – The Enemy of my Enemy

Chapter 95 – The Enemy of my Enemy

I dumped a bottle of poison over the bolt of my crossbow, dropped a small collection of prepared traps at my feet, and drew my sword in my free hand. I aimed the bolt at the edge of the windowsill and crouched down, the icy bite of open-air stabbing into my back.

The Daughter of Umbra flapped over the edge and gingerly placed her feet around my traps, aiming her crossbow at my chest.

“Ready to die?” she asked with a vicious smile.

Before I could answer the smile on her face melted away, her eyes dropped to the matching weapon strapped to my wrist and widened, her whole face turning ghostly pale.

“How?” she asked.

“How, what?”

“You shouldn’t… I mean it’s not… This is wrong,” she stumbled.

I watched carefully as she lowered her arm, keeping mine right where it was. I refused to trust a random stranger in this murderous hellhole of a realm.

Frank flapped up and landed on my shoulder. The grip of his sharp talons digging deep into the leather of my armor was an oddly soothing sensation. “Shut the hell up!”

The Daughter of Umbra’s mouth dropped open as she stared at the bird, and then she started laughing. The sound rang out all around, echoing in the chamber behind her. She bent over, her amusement making it difficult for her to breathe as tears streamed down her face. I waited impatiently for her to finish.

“Hey, what’s going on up there?” someone bellowed from down below.

The Daughter of Umbra finally stopped laughing, straightening to her full height as she wiped at her reddened face. She brushed her long golden hair back, her amusement still glittering in her ocean-blue eyes.

“I love him. Can I have him?” she asked.

I frowned. “No, he’s not for sale.”

Frank squawked and leaped off my shoulder flapping over to land on the Daughter of Umbra’s. I watched her shoulder lower under his weight as he dug his beak into her hair and began preening her. The woman giggled, her wings flapping gently behind her.

“Traitor,” I muttered angrily, lowering my arm.

Frank ignored me as the woman reached out with a finger to stroke his dark feathers. “Oh you are a pretty boy, I like you very much.”

“So I take it you won’t be killing me right this second?” I asked.

“Hmm, oh, well, I guess not. Who are you anyway? How did you get here without us seeing you?”

Please, for the love of the Goddess, lie this time.

I ignored the phantom voices. “Joe. You?”

“Isabella. Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone else.”

“Ahh, no, I don’t think that’s a very good idea. They’ll kill me as soon as look at me.”

She danced between the traps until she could take my hand. Her fingers were warm and soft against mine. “Don’t be such a baby.”

“You literally came up here to kill me. How am I the baby?”

“Yes, but I didn’t. Now come on, I don’t like being so close to the window.”

She turned and jumped off the windowsill, dropping down to the floor below. She pumped her wings to keep from breaking a leg in the fall. I gathered my unused traps and sheathed my sword before following a little less elegantly, climbing down the rough brick in a rush. I didn’t like having my back on a bunch of wild cards like the group by the door. It was a surefire way to get killed.

My feet hit the floor. I spun, eyeing the group of other players suspiciously. They looked back at me the same way. The three Nox Warriors stepped forward, all of them pointing their scimitars and lifting their lips in a snarl. They could have made a killer synchronized swimming team the way they moved in exactly the same way.

“Bella, what the hell is this?” Xander snapped.

Isabella ignored him, marching right past their protective line and whispering in the ear of her fellow Daughter of Umbra. The other woman’s eyes darkened with every word, her face growing red and splotchy. She pushed Isabella away and stormed through the line of her fellow team members.

“Hey.”

“What the hell?”

“Clara?”

She ignored all three of them, marching up to me. I could practically see the burning fury around her, like an aura that shifted the air. She stopped when I pointed my blade at her throat.

“That’s far enough,” I said.

She ignored me as well, grabbing my wrist with lightning speed and turning it to eye the crossbow strapped there. She yanked on it. Her nose crinkled when it remained firmly attached to my arm. She threw my arm away not at all worried that I might accidentally shoot her with the still-loaded bolt. If looks could kill the one she was shooting at me would have seen me dead on the floor where I stood.

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“How are you wearing this?” she snapped at me, her voice much gruffer than Isabella’s.

“It was better than the bow I had,” I said.

A blast of air slapped me across the face as her wings beat violently behind her. I half expected her to fly right at me but she remained standing right where she was.

“How are you wearing it?” she shouted.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

She sneered and stepped right up close to me. So close that I could feel the warmth of her breath on my cheek. “Only fully-fledged members of Umbra’s Sect can wear the crossbow.” She grabbed my other wrist, the one that had been forcefully tattoed over and over. “And you are not one of us.”

“Maybe I am.”

She stuck her arm out and unstrapped her bracer, showing me the abstract tattoo of an owl right above the three lines that marked her menu. “If you were, you would have this. Now who the hell are you?”

Isabella walked up behind her, grabbing the woman’s shoulder and pulling her away from me. “Calm down, Clara. His name is Joe.”

Clara shuddered and stepped back, the hardness of her face softening as she looked at her friend. “Why are you wearing a bird?”

Isabella giggled and stroked Frank’s chest. “Isn’t he pretty?”

“Well, I gue…”

“Shut the hell up!” Frank interrupted.

“What did you just say to me?” Clara screeched indignantly.

“Oh calm down, he’s just a cheeky bugger. We should move forward, our new friend here will help us get through the next room,” Isabella said.

“Are you talking about Frank or me?” I asked.

Clara glared at me but it was Isabella that answered, “oh, his name is Frank? That’s cute. I would have chosen something like Thunder or Sable.

Anyway, I meant you but Frank can come too. If you are wearing one of our Goddess’ crossbows, then you are one of us. And Daughters of Umbra protect each other when they can.”

“I’m… not sure I should have that title,” I said, running my fingers through my hair.

“No, you shouldn’t,” Clara snapped, stomping away.

“Don’t mind her, she’ll come around.”

“I’m not sure I want her to.”

“Come on, we’ve lingered too long here. We’ll be out of time soon.”

“Out of time for what?”

Isabella looked at me strangely. “To meet the Goddess of course. Why do you think we were brought here?”

She turned and started walking back to her group. I followed, eyeing the thick wings on her back. I reached out, brushing my fingers through the feathers. The wings jerked away from my hand and Isabella let out a little laugh.

“Stop that, it tickles,” she said.

“Why do you have wings?”

She turned her twinkling eyes back to me. “They are a gift from my Goddess. A reward for passing her trials.”

“If you already have a patron, then why are you here?” I asked.

“Who says you can have only one?”

Ryder marched up to me, his hand gripped tightly around the handle of his blade. “One wrong move, and I’ll slice your throat.”

I smirked. “Please, you didn’t even know I was there. Besides, I unlocked the damn door for you. A little gratitude would be nice.”

He grabbed the front of my armor and yanked me close. “We made it here just fine without you and we’ll make it to the top just as easily. Don’t think for a second that we need you just because the girls are sweet on you.”

“Do you blame them,” I said, brushing my hair away from my face. “I’m one hell of a beefcake after all.”

Ryder made a disgusted noise and shoved me away before turning on his heel and marching to the door. The other two Nox Warriors followed him. I lingered behind. Frank leaped off Isabella’s shoulder as she pushed open the door and flew back to me. I guess he didn’t want to lead the charge any more than I did.

“Fan out,” Xander muttered. “Who knows what beasty the Goddess has in store for us this time.”

The Daughters of Umbra nodded and flew in opposite directions, keeping close to the wall. The three warriors spread out and marched right down the center of the room. Their heads swiveled about like an owl as they searched for the danger. I stepped up to the doorframe, surveying the terrain on the other side.

This place was different than the others I had seen. All of them, even the first room where Eugene had been hiding, had had something unique about it. This one looked exactly like the hall behind me. The floor was the same smooth stone. The walls were the same rough brick. The tall windows on the wall were covered by thick red curtains. The room was lit by evenly spaced oddly shaped torches that cast dull purple light.

We are so going to die.

“You can’t die,” I whispered to the phantoms. “You’re already dead.”

Rude.

“Can you give me a hint about what we’re facing?”

Big, bad, and ugly.

“Not helpful.”

I twirled my blade and took that extra step. The door swung closed behind me, shutting us in the room with no way to escape but the stairwell on the other side. I eyed the other players, grateful to not be alone but also hesitant to rely on strangers so much for my own survival.

The roar of the beast came before the shadow crossed over the ground. I watched in horror as the shadow settled in the center of the room and began to lift off the cold stone floor. It writhed and swirled until it was ten feet tall.

The black shadow exploded outward and in its place was a hideous beast with the skull of a stag, antlers included, for a head and great bulging muscles on every inch of its humanoid body. Its eyes glowed red and fog blew from its nostrils.

The walls shook as the beast howled its otherworldly rage.

“Shut the hell up!”

The beast dropped its head and snorted, the glowing red orbs of its eyes flashing in my direction.

“I hate you, Frank,” I murmured.

The beast charged. The Nox Warriors dodged out of the way, none of them willing to risk their necks to protect me. The beast slammed into the door. I grabbed ahold of the wall and scaled it, climbing too high for the beast to reach while it flailed about trying to regain its feet. It followed, pounding on the wall below me with its enormous fists.

“Fuck off,” I snapped.

My shout only enraged it more. The wall was vibrating with every powerful strike. I tightened my grip to avoid falling to my death. Frank screeched and flew away. I hoped the monster would follow him but it only had eyes for me. I really wasn’t a fan of being the center of attention.

A bolt struck the beast in the side of the head, the wooden shaft shattering with the force of the shot. I smirked and clambered across the wall toward the exit. Isabella waved at me with Frank resting on her shoulder and loaded another bolt.

I took a page out of her book and released the wall just long enough to fire my own bolt. It sunk into the leg of the monster. The beast howled, green and brown fingers of fire stretching out from its back. I slid down the wall, not wanting to be caught in the air by a vine of magical power. The little dark green skull icon flashed up beside the monster's health bar as my poison entered the thing’s bloodstream. Along with the icon came its name in floating golden letters.

Spriggan Wraith