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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 19 – A Pig and a Statue

Chapter 19 – A Pig and a Statue

Something was wrong with me. I couldn’t seem to drag in a full breath and everything around me had gone whacky. Sounds as small as a buzzing mosquito were too loud and the light from the high windows was blinding. I could see the timer ticking down but for some reason, I just couldn’t move. Even Stella pressing up against me was too much. I needed a moment. A long moment.

It took so long for the moment to pass and finally I could take in everything. I had a mission, and if I didn’t want to be reduced to a pile of bones lost amongst the others then I better move my ass. I pushed off the ground and ran, heading for the kitchen. I’m sure it was a ridiculous thought, but recipes belonged in the kitchen. Right?

I dug into every scrap of paper and every book I found in that room but not a single one of them was helpful. Not unless Bluedart Brew looked an awful lot like a double-decker spicy burger with bacon. Damn, that sounded good. I tore the page from the book and stuffed it into my bum bag for later.

I took off through the restaurant door and ran around the building, looking for a door into the brewing room. I found a door with an enormous ‘keep out’ sign on it. I tried the door but it was locked. I focused on the padlock icon and played the fun bouncing balls game a second time. Felt a little chuffed when I got it the first go. I guess with only one lockpick that was a very good thing.

I burst through the door into a room that was dark, smelled of hops, and had that sterile tile and stainless steel look to it. Along the left-hand side of the room was a line of midsize brewers. The other side of the room held kegs, buckets, and a metal staircase leading up to a mezzanine.

It was deathly quiet in here, just like every other part of the building. I found a couple of workstations by the back wall and sifted through the stacks of paper in the drawers. Most of it was nonsense; old memos and scribbled names and numbers. One of them had a pretty good depiction of a dick drawn on the back of what looked like a disciplinary letter. I couldn’t help but snort. Guess the guy didn’t like that very much.

“Stella, help me out, would you? Go find the recipe.”

Stella ignored me, she was too busy chasing something under one of the vats. Probably a mouse. Not much help to me though. The dark was making this a little difficult. Where was Sob and his brilliant flashes of blue light when I needed him?

I climbed the stairs, flinching after every resounding bang my feet made on the metal steps. I guess the wolf monster was scary enough to keep the crocs away from this place. That didn’t bode well for me.

At the top of the stairs were a few small sacks with the word ‘barley’ stamped across the burlap. I glanced from the sacks to my bum bag. Only one way to find out. I lifted one of the sacks, unzipped my bum bag, and stuffed it inside. Surprisingly, it went in without a problem. I pushed the other two in after it. Sob would be very happy if I lived long enough to feed him some of this.

On the wall beside the head of the vats was an enormous corkboard completely covered by scraps of paper. There were a lot of them scattered at my feet like someone had been tearing them from the wall but had been stopped halfway through. I swallowed and looked at the remaining bits pinned to the board. There were recipes here, but all of them had distinct names and not one of them was Bluedart Brew.

I ran my fingers through my hair, gripping the strands and yanking at them. I didn’t know anything about this place or the people who had worked here. How was I supposed to find something as precious as a secret recipe? I’m just some simple farmhand. I herded cattle for a living on a secluded farm. Yeah, I love beer, who in their right mind doesn’t? But loving something doesn’t make you an expert on the nuances of it.

I took another sheet of old discolored paper off the board and read it.

Daniel, I swear if I catch sneaking a smoke break in the back room I’ll gut you and feed you to my pigs. I’m serious. Don’t mess with me. Gary.

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It seemed like there was a lot of bad behavior in this place. I liked that. Another piece of paper held what looked like a schedule. Hidden between and behind a lot of the scraps of paper were little drawings of dragonflies. Some of them were pretty impressive while others were crude and barely recognizable.

I don’t know what dragonflies had to do with beer but clearly, the people here liked them. Maybe there was a pool of water on the property where the little bugs were popular.

I left the board and continued along the walkway. I found a desk right at the end. It was old and battered but still sturdy as hell. I tried the draws and found one that was locked. I did the little lockpicking trick and opened the drawer. It was filled with old orders and sketches. Under all the useless paper was a small old key. It had a little label attached to it with the words ‘Libelle’s Secret’. I turned the key over in my hands. Why did that name sound familiar? I stuffed the key into my bum bag. Who knows, it might come in handy.

Stella started barking up a storm on the lower level. A pig hiding beneath a vat squealed and ran for the door. Stella gave chase, blocking the pig's escape. I shouted and raced down the stairs to stop her. I didn’t need to piss off the wolf by injuring one of his pets.

The pig ran to me, cowering behind my legs as Stella dropped into a bow in front of me, her tail wagging wildly behind her.

“Leave off, girl. The little guy doesn’t want to play.” Stella’s ears drooped. I reached down and stroked the little pig's head. It was shivering violently. “It’s okay buddy, she won’t hurt you.”

The pig calmed down. If I didn’t know better I’d have thought it understood me. The pig moved away from me and snorted at the dog like it was telling her off for being rough. I smiled, a little surprised by its spunk. Judging by the thing's size it was only a youngster. Maybe the old owners of this place had kept a petting zoo or something.

All out of ideas I looked down at the pig. “You wouldn’t happen to know where the recipe is, would you?”

It couldn’t look up at me but it did press against my leg before trotting off toward the door making little high-pitched noises. Stella moved to chase the thing.

“Hold,” I barked and she paused, her tail just barely wiggling. “He’s going to help us, alright.”

I don’t know why I thought that. It was just a pig trying to escape a room it didn’t belong in. But my time was ticking down. What other options did I have right now other than trusting my gut? I remembered a while ago now that I’d gotten an achievement. Something to do with animals. Maybe this was a skill I got from that.

Or I was just crazy. One of the two.

I pushed the door open for the pig and followed as it raced across the open grassy area in front of the building. It led me down a little track in amongst a once pretty garden that hadn’t been watered in a long time. The plants were all wilted and sad looking. In the middle of the garden was a bench facing a short statue of a man holding a beer bottle in one hand and a too-large dragonfly in the other.

The pig stopped in front of the statue and plonked its ass on the ground. I frowned and faced the statue. It was nothing special. Just a man with a forehead that was too big and who was sporting a full mustache. I brushed a weed away from the plaque and read the words engraved on it.

In honor of Bradley Barlow, a loving father and the inspiration behind the Barlow Brothers Brewery.

‘Live in the moment.’

“I don’t get it. What does it mean?”

I looked down at my new pig friend but it was gone. Great. Now I was all on my own again. Well, except for Stella. But her herding skills weren’t overly helpful right now.

I swore and rubbed my face. The time in the corner of my vision told me I only had one hour left to find this recipe before I was lunch for the big bad wolf. I looked at the big building, seeing how they’d converted an old barn house and then extended it with an attached warehouse. The old and the new mixed together. The owners of this place had been pretty creative. They had probably held a lot of weddings here. It looked like the ideal place for something like that.

“Ahh, not helpful!” I screamed at my own dense brain.

Stella ran up to me and dropped a wonky stick at my feet. I bent and picked it up to toss it. She happily chased the thing and brought it back. Too bad she couldn’t find a lost recipe as quickly as she could find a good fetching stick.

I lifted the stick again to toss it further and paused. A memory burned at the edges of my brain. A box that glowed gold guarded by a drunken croc.

Holy crap. I knew where to look.