“Who was she?” I asked, kneeling down beside the cluster of aged bones.

“I don’t know. She didn’t speak to me, she only showed me the way.”

I picked up the dagger, turning it over in my hands. It was horribly impractical but beautiful. Engraved in the gold of the hilt were the letters ‘L’ and ‘H’. I shoved the thing in my pocket and read the notification that popped up in front of me.

New Item Received: Dagger of Flash Strike

Description: What the hell dude? You just picked up a murder weapon. Now your prints are on that thing. Quick, wipe them off and run like hell.

Effect: Movement enhanced 50% when battling with the dagger in hand. Stamina cost on power strikes 15% reduced.

I stood and faced the wall we’d just somehow phased through. I pressed my fingers against the spot and just as before they passed right through it.

“What is this thing? Why not just use a door?”

“People don’t like reminders that servants exist. That’s why this hallway exists in the first place.”

“Seems a little extreme,” I muttered.

I turned and squeezed past her to climb the stairs. It shouldn’t be possible that we could see in this windowless place, but a grey light seemed to radiate from nowhere. After the magical wall thing, I wasn’t about to start questioning this.

As we climbed plumes of dust rose off the floor. Between that and the cobwebs, I was ready to cough up a lung. By the time we reached the peak of the spire, we were wheezing and dripping with sweat. Here the cramped stairway opened up into something like an attic. Do magical spires have attics? I don’t know. I’m just telling you what it looked like.

The room was filled with crates and barrels stacked haphazardly around the circular space. Four sad-looking cots were lined up along one of the walls. I guessed they were the beds assigned to the servants no one wanted to see or even know about. One of them was blessed with a stained flat pillow. There was a single window overlooking the castle up on the rise beyond the Upper Heights.

“Well, I guess we have a place to sleep.”

Miranda smiled and pointed at the markings around the window. “And that’s our way to the castle.”

I frowned. “It’s just a bunch of scribbles.”

Miranda rolled her eyes so hard I thought she was going into another trance for a second. “It’s a magical portal, we just have to activate it.”

“Right, I’m really getting tired of magic. It always seemed so cool before the Crocs came but now it's just a sparkly pain in my ass.”

“Hey, I use magic.”

“I stand by my statement.”

“Piss off,” she snarled before turning and dropping on the cot with the pillow. “If I remember this in the morning I’m going to have a skeleton thump you over the head.”

“Wow, you get aggressive when you’re tired.”

“Shut up. Only sleep now.”

“Right, Stella come here.”

I dropped onto one of the free cots and Stella curled up beside me. I’d been buzzing with energy before like I’d downed a tanker of coffee. I didn’t feel that anymore. Now I was just a floppy sack of aches and brain fog. I took out my notebook and added the things that were jamming up my mind.

I didn’t like the fact that the Elders had Nigel the Sentinel. It didn’t feel right given the quests I’d been stuck on for so long. The Toilet Master of Deepwater had told me I needed to work through the Dead Drop questline to find answers. He was a jackass but at least playing the game made sense. Hell, even the Witch of Evermore had offered us a way to beat the Crocs but that was a questline too. The sealed scroll had given me nothing but an even deeper dislike of Theo Thundershield.

I looked over at the scribbles on the wall. They reminded me of the symbols in the High Priest's office. It didn’t make sense that he used his portal as a decoration around his staff holder. Maybe he didn’t know what it was or maybe he used the staff as a way to activate the portal. If he had a portal though why the hell did Orion pop out of the fireplace? Argh, this was infuriating!

Stella huffed and kicked at me. I stroked her head and closed my eyes.

“Get up!”

I jerked awake, flinging myself from the bed and yanking out one of my blades. “What’s happening?”

Miranda stood by the window. My eyes watered from the blaze of sunshine streaming in from the window. Stella sat at her feet. If I didn’t know better I would have thought they were both judging me.

“Dude, seriously, get up.”

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“Did you just call me ‘dude’? What are you, some punk surfer getting ready to hit the waves?”

Miranda sighed. “Will you please just get up? We have to work out this portal thing, it’s almost midday already.”

“What,” I bellowed, jumping to my feet.

I ran to the window and shoved my head out of it. I was too peeved to be grateful there was no glass in the window.

“We overslept.”

“We?” she scoffed. “Try you. I’ve been up for hours.”

I glared at her. “You’re a mage. You’ve had hours to work this thing out but you haven’t?”

“That was harsh.”

“Sorry, I get cranky without my coffee.”

She mimicked my tone from earlier and said, “What are you, some kind of middle-aged Karen?”

I stretched and turned away trying not to smile. I didn’t need her to know I was proud of her for that one.

“Let’s figure this thing out.”

I reached up and fingered the markings, tracing a circle with a slash through it. “Any chance you know what these things mean?”

“Being a mage didn’t come with a manual. I’m still figuring this stuff out. Remember, I didn’t even know I could possess things until you forced me to.”

“Any chance I could force you to just open up this thing?” She just glared at me but it was enough of an answer. I looked down at Stella, “How about you girl, any ideas?”

Unsurprisingly the dog didn’t have anything helpful to add. I stepped back and looked at the thing as a whole but aside from the bright window in the middle nothing stood out to me.

“Have you tried just casting your magic at it?” I asked.

“Yes, it didn’t do anything.”

“Maybe there’s a pattern. That seems like a standard game mechanic, right?”

Ø

/ <

= //

> ^

*

I stared at the ring of illegible garbage for a long time. I was normally pretty good at these things in the game world but this one was… odd.

“Okay, listen, try this…”

Miranda shot a jet of pink fire at the symbols I pointed out but nothing happened. I frowned and gave her another. Nope, nothing.

“Joe, maybe we should just head back down and try out your cultist disguise idea.”

“One more try and then we’ll do that,” I said, rubbing my temple. “Start at the one that looks like an arrow pointing right…”

Miranda did as I said and as she shot the final ball of pink fire at the slashed-through circle a chime sounded. The symbols linked up with Miranda's magic, filling with her fire until we were looking at a swirling vortex of flames.

“Holy hell, Joe. How’d you do that?”

“I’m pretty smart you know. My intelligence score is through the roof.”

“I feel like you’re lying to me.”

“I might be. Okay, time to step through I guess.”

“Don’t you think we should come up with some sort of plan first Mr. Smart Guy?”

I lifted a brow at her. “Did your little dead friend down below happen to tell you what’s on the other side of this thing?”

“Well, no…”

“Then how can we make a plan?”

“Remind me never to come on a secret mission with you again,” she snapped. “It’s been pretty horrible so far.”

“Would you rather be running errands for your bestie Janice?”

“I’m going through, bye.”

She turned and rushed to the portal. I flinched as she disappeared into the flames. The brilliant pink fire flared and hissed.

“Miranda, are you dead?” I called.

Only silence was my answer. I grabbed Stella and followed Miranda. The flames licked at my skin but they didn’t burn. Instead, they wrapped me in a warm blanket. The world warped around me. My stomach lifted like I was riding the dip on a rollercoaster.

My feet hit the ground followed almost immediately by my face. Stella yelped and wrestled free of my hold. I groaned and rolled onto my back. Portals are awful. No, seriously, they’re the worst.

Miranda looked down at me. “Are you done?”

“I hate this game.”

“We all do. Get up.”

I took her hand and climbed to my feet. I looked around at the room we’d found ourselves in. It was smaller than the one in the spire and completely empty aside from a thick layer of dust. I turned around. A small window looking out on the spire was carved into the wall with the same symbols drawn around it. I frowned. Did portals have to have a visual of the place you were going to? That sucked.

“We’re here now, what do we have to do for this secret quest of yours?”

“Good question, let me have a look.”

I opened my quest menu and read through the description again.

Ill-gotten Crown of Reverence

The Count of Banksia has used his stolen power to shut down a prime smuggler outfit along the Condamine River. It’s time his crown was transferred to a more receptive leader. Break into the castle, retrieve the crown, and plant the evidence of his corruption.

I frowned. Kendrick hadn’t given me any evidence to plant. Did that mean I had to find evidence and plant it? I hoped not. First of all, we had better locate the crown.

“We have to find Count Banksia.”

“Should we wait until the ball starts or should we go now?”

A flicker of movement caught my eye. I whipped around, yanking out my sword and slashing at the beast. The rat barely had time to squeak before it died.

I turned and smiled at Miranda. “Time to play rat again.”

She glared at me. “You suck so hard.”

“That’s what she said.”