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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 206 – Knocking at Death's Door

Chapter 206 – Knocking at Death's Door

The glowing green lights blinded me as I was thrown like a sack of flour atop the cold metal slab of a table in the center of the bustling kitchen. My chained arms were tied somewhere above my head making my shoulders scream as they were stretched to their limit. Heavy chains were wound around my ankles and my feet jerked just as hard in the other direction. If I survived this shit, I might gain an inch or two in height. That would be pretty cool.

I yanked my head around adding to the pain I was already feeling. Nora and Gabby were strung up together far to my left where I could barely see them. I couldn’t see Kendrick’s box anywhere but no doubt he was in here as well. The rotund Croc wasn’t cooking. Instead, he was standing on an oddly raised platform at the back of the room, growling and jabbing his clawed fingers in odd directions like a coach directing his team. I’d never really been in a kitchen that wasn’t part of a regular old house before so I had no idea if that was normal or not. It seemed pretty messed up though.

“Is everyone alright?” I called, unable to handle the squirmy feeling taking over me.

I have no idea if any of them responded. Talking had been a very bad idea. The words had barely left my lips when a club-like tail whipped out of nowhere and slammed into my face. My head reeled from the force of it. My neck screamed in agony. I don’t think I lost consciousness. Instead, little yellow ducks like the kind you use in your bathtub whirled in front of me in between sparkling lights that might have been stars. The noise of the kitchen became a steady throbbing roar. The familiar taste of blood filled my mouth from neglected teeth shaken loose from their spongy beds.

I flinched when my internal monologue spoke to me, maybe don’t speak right now, sweetheart?

A wholly unnecessary thought in my opinion. The fact that my own brain had decided to mimic Kendrick’s insufferable syntax was just another painful blow to my already pounding head. I needed to get out of here. No, we needed to get out of here. I pulled at my chains as I tried to kickstart my brain. The ducks still spinning around my head turned into willie wagtails and suddenly I wanted to kick my own ass.

Not yet, wait for the right moment.

Right. I was right. Timing is everything. Right behind location of course. Shaking myself out of my stupor like a pocket-sized monster who didn’t want their trainer to worry I set about trying to see my friends again. Regardless of my new determination, they were still hanging just barely on the edge of my vision. I strained my eyes, trying to map the area so I could make a plan. A shadowy glob shoved itself in the way, drawing my attention solely to it.

I glanced around, assuring myself that no bulky tails were swaying within pounding distance, and whispered, “Get the mirror in my bum bag.”

The glob nodded its bulbous pretend head and disappeared from view. I couldn’t even feel the creature as it shifted along me. Sometimes I swear the thing could decide on a whim whether it had a physical form or not.

I should have thought of the mirror sooner. Maybe even when we’d first been trapped in the control room what felt like days before but was probably only a handful of hours. Cassie’s words rang inside my head, ‘Just in case’. My mind wandered back to the house we’d been trying to turn into a safe place for us all to live. We’d filled a room with mirrors and not just for vanities sake. There was more to the reflective glass than should ever be possible. Frank could disappear into them at will as if they were nothing more than an open doorway. I didn’t think the raven could come here and save us all given that despite his relative intelligence he was still considered an animal. Cassie might be able to though. I’d sure feel better with the Witch of Evermore standing at my side. It would have been nice to have my raven pal scream his favorite catchphrase at these bastard humanoid reptiles though. The thought alone was enough to bring a smile to my face.

An oval displaying my not-so-gorgeous face was shoved in front of me. I flinched and not just because of the image. Carefully I looked around but for whatever reason none of the shuffling Crocs seemed to care that a glob of shadow was holding a mirror. Their indifference was a little concerning.

“Scan the room little fella,” I whispered. The glob lifted its head on a makeshift neck, the shadowy sphere rotating in a fall circle before tilting to the side. If my hand was free of the chains I would have smacked my forehead with the palm of it. Between gritted teeth, I added, “With the mirror.”

The mirror was shifted and slowly moved around. The glob wasn’t the best at angling the thing but I got a good enough view of the entirety of the space. There were three doors, one each on three of the four walls. Only one was open and it led out into the hallway we’d been dragged down. From what I could tell there were at least seven Crocs in the room including the overly round cook in charge of them. Kendrick’s box had been shoved up between a bunch of sacks and crates on the wall opposite our escape route. Gabby and Nora, who were whispering amongst themselves were hanging to the right of the doorway.

So, to sum up, I’d have to break free, cross the room to free Kendrick, cross the room again to free the others, and then make it out the door all without being mutilated by a bunch of grumpy Crocs. Cool. Not a problem. I could totally do that. Or, there was always the easier option of letting the monsters eat me and whisking off to join Rory and Jacob in the sky. Somehow that thought didn’t bring me any joy.

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I have a plan. Not a very good one but it will have to do. Set the girls free and get the hell out of here. As far as the rope chaining us together will let you. Do you understand?

I frowned at the thought crossing through my mind. It was me but somehow not at the same time. Some people didn’t have an internal monologue but I did. This, even though it felt and sounded the same, was not me.

Kendrick?

Who else, numbnuts? The not me voice said. Your little shadow sister is a gem.

Shadow sister?

Have you ever had your own head sigh in frustration at you? Well, now I have and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

Get out of my head, I thought as hard as I could.

Okay, first of all, ouch! There is no need to scream. Second of all, did you hear me?

Yes, I heard you.

Then do it!

I glanced at the mirror again, grateful that the glob had centered the rotund cook in it. Satisfied that now was as good a time as any, I closed my eyes and let the shift take me with all the pain and discomfort that came with it.

The manacles holding me clattered as they fell from my now tiny limbs. I squeaked and rushed off the table as a chorus of angry roars followed me. The ground was a painfully hard force and yet the fall didn’t hurt me. I skittered under the table with a scaley-clawed fist following on my ass. I didn’t pause in my mad rush. If I had, I would have been trapped under that table by the crowd of toothy monsters descending on it from all angles. I rushed out between their legs, avoiding tails and claws as I ran for the door.

“Get him!” the head cook roared.

I morphed from my mousy form as quickly as I could and dipped my fingers into my bum bag. With two bolts I fired in quick succession, breathing a sigh of relief when the bolts hit their target and not my friends.

The chains holding the pair shattered and without a single moment to orientate herself Nora threw Gabby over one shoulder and me over the other before she used some skill to charge at lightning speed from the room. The Crocs chasing us fell behind eating the dust and slime kicked up by Nora’s boots. I bounced around like a ragdoll, the bone of her shoulder digging deep into my gut. I should have felt useless being carried away from the danger but instead, I just felt grateful. She could have taken on Sob with the speed she was managing. We followed the straight tunnel for a way before Nora's pace slowed to a typical jog. Then, as if it had been timed perfectly the cord holding Kendrick and I together pulled taut and I was yanked from her shoulder and tossed to the ground.

Nora skidded in the slime before turning back to me. She placed Gabby on the ground with a lot more grace than my fall had offered.

“What was that?” she asked.

Her answer came in the form of an enormous explosion. The blast of it shook the tunnels. I threw myself over the pair of them, yanking them both closer to the floor as a burst of heated air washed over us. The line holding me in place grew slack again. My heart thundered in my chest as I slowly lifted my head and looked back the way we’d come. There wasn’t a single Croc in view.

Kendrick? I called but there was no answer.

The pounding of many feet ahead of us had me snatching the hands of the others and yanking them through a door beside us. The room on the other side was much smaller than I’d anticipated, forcing us to crowd almost on top of one another between the buckets and mops.

I pressed my ear to the door, listening to the angry roars of the stampede on the other side. My fingers found the chain wrapped around my wrist. I yanked it as much as I could in the tiny space and it shifted without resistance.

Nora whispered into my ear the moment silence fell, “What do we do now?”

I grunted and turned until I could look into her face. “Why is it up to me?”

Her eyes narrowed in a way that had me shifting to cover my crotch before she snapped right back, “I’m weaponless. It’s not like I can protect us anymore, it’s up to you.”

“But, Gabby…”

“It’s up to you!”

I grunted again and looked away. My plan hadn’t extended past getting the hell out of the kitchen. My eyes flicked to the timer that had so tantalizingly teased us with a way out not too long ago. Whatever those toads were that we’d been forced to slurp from had broken it entirely. Even this long from that foul experience all it displayed was a question mark. There would be no time-outs to carry us home. Kendrick had been right earlier; it was time to call the cavalry.

My fingers brushed over my bum bag but paused on the hot pink canvas. I swore and rubbed my hand over my head. I didn’t have the mirror anymore. It had been left behind right where the explosion had happened. A twinge of sadness touched my chest at the thought of my glob friend being caught up in a blast like that.

“What is it?” Gabby asked.

“I had an idea but it’s no good. I don’t have the equipment anymore.”

“Well, then we…”

Before Gabby could finish that was a loud knock on the door. All of us stiffened and leaned away from it. A river of sweat rushed down my back to join the quagmire beneath my belt.

Bang. Silence. Bang.

I frowned. Kendrick?

There was still no answer unless you counted another knock. I reached for the handle despite the sharp inhales of the pair beside me. The leather of my gloves creaked as I gripped it hard and shoved.