“You inconsiderate, idiotic, giant, balding piece of crap!” Nigel howled, stamping his little feet where he stood in the web tunnel's mouth.
His face was covered in red blotches as he danced about, his sharp little teeth gnashing around the flood of insulting words he spewed into the air. He stomped from the cave and away from Ruby’s den, back toward our camp. I followed him like a little lost puppy, my footsteps slow and silent on the ground.
I didn’t know what was happening. My brain had short-circuited and without a reboot of some kind, refused to kick back up again. Nigel walked through a patch of bright sunlight. I tried to follow but hissed as I slammed into some sort of invisible wall.
Submit to the shadows.
I flinched at the soft, sensuous voice that spoke inside my head. I glanced around, looking for the source but aside from Nigel, I was all alone. I shrugged and let out a long sigh. I just didn’t have the energy to hunt down disembodied voices right now.
I tried to follow him again but the moment my foot tried to pass the line of shadow cast by Ruby’s gigantic den I slammed into the impenetrable forcefield. I couldn’t step into the light. Trying to control my suddenly erratic breathing I followed the line of shadows, passing from one to another when I could. It was harder than it looked. The shadows were continually shifting and sometimes even though they seemed to touch a sliver of light would divide them and no matter how I tried, I could not cross that sliver.
I lost sight of Nigel long before the sun sunk low enough to cast most of the suburb in long, interlacing shadows that I could move more freely through. It didn’t matter though, I knew where he was going.
I was feeling very sorry for myself as I dragged myself into the camp Theo and Nora had set up for us all. It was a small and cozy house that they’d spent some time Croc proofing. Including removing the ivory throne and smashing it to bits so the beasts couldn’t just appear inside. I tiptoed along the thin line of shadow cast by the building's eave and ducked inside.
I deftly navigated the multitude of traps that had been laid out to keep us safe. Sob stood in the kitchen and the others were gathered around an upturned crate they were using as a table. Nigel stood on top of the crate, holding up my sword with a dour look on his face.
Miranda was sobbing as she sat in the corner of the room. Jacob had his arms wrapped around her but he looked just as crushed as the girl was. Gabby was shaking as she accepted the comforting hug of her father. Stella was curled up in a ball away from the others, staring longingly toward the door as she huffed.
I’ll admit, I was a little chuffed with their reactions to me going missing. It felt nice to be missed. Yes, I know that sounds weird. It’s a feeling I hadn’t experienced before which makes it really hard to explain. It was like being loved but not in a romantic way. More like an ‘I actually care if you randomly disappear’ kind of way. You know?
There was only one person who didn’t seem affected by my disappearance. Nora. She stood at the table, idly tracing the grain of the wood with a finger. Her elbow rested on the crate and she lounged against her arm, pressing her armored hand into her cheek as she let out an outrageously large yawn.
“Are… are you sure… he’s dead?” Miranda cried.
Nigel looked at her sadly, an expression I’d never seen on his face before, even when he was trapped in the birdcage in the torturer's chamber. “Yes. He saved me from the crazy spider and then he was gone. This is all that’s left.”
He held up the sword and after a minute Nora took it from him. She eyed the blade, testing the weight of it in her hand.
“Not bad. I guess we can sell it for some chump change. Might get a couple of cans of baked beans or something,” she said.
“What the fuck?” I bellowed. “That is a fucking amazing sword, what the hell is wrong with you, you heartless wretch! What if I just took your axe and sold that, huh? Might get enough for an old dirty sock. Geez.”
No one seemed to react to my words which was unbelievably frustrating. I tried to reach out for Nora but my hand slid right through her like it was made of smoke. The feeling of it made me shudder. It was somehow hot and cold at the same time and almost… slimy? Well, not quite that, but it did feel like some sort of film had coated my hand. The feeling vanished almost as quickly as it had come.
“What do we do now?” Gabby asked.
Theo sighed and said, “we still have a mission, even if the quest for it is gone now. We have to get Nigel home.” The huge warrior eyed the gnome and added, “you’ll still give us the information when we get you there, won’t you?”
The gnome paused for a moment, tapping a stubby finger against his chin. “If I say no, will you still take me home?”
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Nora thumped her axe on the floor and leaned in close as she said, “don’t count on it Stumpy.”
The gnome bared his teeth but reframed from hissing at the woman. “Fine, I’ll tell you. But that’s all you get. No other quest awards that Joe would have gotten.”
“What kind of quest awards was he going to get?” Jacob asked.
“None of your business,” Nigel shot back.
“Don’t listen to him,” I said. “He’s full of shit from pinky toe to cupids bow.”
If there had been crickets around, they would have chirped.
Muttering angrily to myself I settled in one of the two free corners, leaning back against the wall. I half expected to fall right through it but somehow, that didn’t happen. I suppose I should have known there were limits to my insubstantialness (Is that even a word? Well, it is now.) I mean, it's not like I was falling through the earth and out the other side. Still, this being a ghost thing was very disconcerting.
I focused on the quest menu in the corner of my field of view, wondering if it would even open. It did and surprisingly, nothing in it had changed.
Dead Drop
Your new best friend Nigel knows where the heartthrob Tony is! Sadly, Nigel is too distraught to tell you anything right now. Perhaps there is something you can do to ease his worries. I’m sure he’d tell you everything he knows about Tony the cable snake man once you do.
The Witch of Evermore
The witch is brewing a powerful potion. One that’s sure to knock the beastly Crocs on their ass. Collect the following items to get a taste of the sweet, sweet elixir. 1 x Vampire Bat Wing. 1 x Gall bladder of a King Toilet Croc. 1 x Venom of the Nightstalker Rattler. Happy hunting.
The Candlestick in the Ballroom
An unholy silence has taken over Old Man Wellington’s manor house. The man was a nut but a long-time collector of all things cryptic. Pay him a visit, and find out what happened.
There’s No Place Like Home
Nigel has asked if you would kindly guide him home after his misadventure in Oliver’s Rest. It would be best to keep him out of danger on your journey. Every scratch he sustains you will feel tenfold. There is no time limit on this quest but the longer you take the more time you have to spend with Nigel. Just think about that for a second and then move your ass.
I was grateful for the consistency though, it was a solid reminder that even though I was suddenly ethereal, I was still part of the game.
The little notification bell was flashing furiously at me, desperate for my attention. With little else to do, I focused on it and read the list of notifications I’d missed.
New Achievement: Murderous Rampage
You have killed more than 20 combatants with a single move! Congratulations you sick, terrifying, twisted individual. Keep up the good work.
I swallowed, remembering the squelch of the spiderlings being crushed beneath me. I’m not sure I deserved an achievement for that. I still felt kind of bad. Never thought I’d actually feel that way about killing a bunch of spiders. It’s not like I hadn’t killed hundreds of them over my lifetime. I guess when you add a humanoid face to them it changes your care factor just a smidgeon.
New Skill Unlocked: Poison Resistance (I)
Because you are an idiot and seem to be incapable of avoiding being poisoned on a regular basis, your body has become accustomed to the feeling of your blood trying to kill you. This is not a reward for your idiocy, this is simply nature trying to preserve your life for some weird reason. Maybe it's performing an unethical experiment on you or something.
15% increase to poison resistance. Effects of active poisoning have been reduced by 10% while health is 25% or greater.
Urgh, that was a lot of percentages. Math was not my favorite course at school. I sure as hell hoped there wouldn’t be a test on this later.
Level 13!
Hell yeah! I outranked Jacob! Party time.
The final notification shed a little more light on my current situation. Not a lot of course. The game never liked to give out more than cryptic hints. It was something though which is always better than nothing.
Skill Upgraded: Shadow Phantom
Passive Effect.
You have submitted to the siren call of the shadows for too long and they have refused to let you go. All skills in the Shadow Rush tree are no longer available to you.
The Shadow Realm is ruled by a Goddess grown bitter and greedy from isolation. As her newest parson, you must obey by her laws. Delve deeper into the realm and submit fully to your Goddess or become a plight upon the earth; a poltergeist cursed to walk among the living for all eternity.
Everything about it seemed so comforting – can you hear my sarcasm? – All I felt was a colossal dread about what lay ahead of me.
Even having Melumek shoved down my throat along with his Fellowship of Fayum, I hadn’t been prepared for the presence of other deities. Knowing I’d been forced into the service of one unknown to me was frustrating as hell. Her being described as ‘bitter’ and ‘greedy’ didn’t fill me with a great deal of confidence either.
I smacked my head back against the wall. A picture hanging from a crooked hook above my head dropped, smacking me in the head before hitting the ground and smashing.
“Fuck you, you asshole,” I screamed at the picture frame, kicking it away from me.
Stella barked and trotted over to me. She sat on top of me, my form passing through her as it had every time I’d tried to touch someone else. She didn’t seem to mind though as she settled comfortably on the ground, rested her chin on her paws, and closed her eyes.
“What the hell was that?” Nora whispered, her axe held high as her sharp eyes swept the room.
Theo drew his blade and started stalking toward the archway beside me. “Come on, we better do a sweep of the place. Everyone, stay on alert. We’re not safe here.”
“Yeah, look all you want dumbass,” I snapped as the giant of a man walked passed me. “I’m the king of hide and seek.”