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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 26 – The Witch of Evermore

Chapter 26 – The Witch of Evermore

Each step further into the swamp called Evermore made my panic grow. This place shouldn’t even exist in the dusty outback of New South Wales, but here it was like a magical apparition. I’d thought the quest description was just a silly gab stolen from a fairy tale but now I wasn’t so sure. This place radiated danger.

I fiddled with the spider amulet I’d donned the day before as I tried to make sense of the shadows through the clouds of mosquitos. Something was here. Something I couldn’t quite make out.

“Are you afraid, cowboy?”

I glared at Nora and scoffed. “Please, it takes more than a damp bit of garden to scare me.”

Nora laughed quietly and turned away from me, pushing through a clump of ferns. I followed, glad that she and her enormous axe were leading the way. So much for chivalry, huh?

I wanted to hide and creep through the forested wetland but it's hard to do that when you have a dog and a horse trudging along behind you. Even Frank didn’t seem to want to be quiet, every time a drop of water fell on him he squawked and slapped my face with a wing.

I smacked at a mosquito trying to suck my blood and swore. Coming here had been a bad idea.

“Shush,” Nora said. “I think I heard something.”

I paused and listened. She was right. There was an offkey song filtering through the brush, I didn’t understand the words but they drew me in like I was being summoned by a higher power.

Frank screamed. Nora glared at me. My hand shot up to grab him but he spread his wings and shot into the air before I could, awkwardly flapping his way through the scrub.

“Come back here you idiot,” I hissed.

“Shut the hell up!”

I frowned and ground my teeth. It was better when he was just telling himself to shut up. Stella whined, her tail hanging between her back legs.

“So much for quiet,” Nora grumbled.

“Sorry.”

Nora stood from her half-crouch and continued, I followed trying to look through the dense brush to what lay on the other side. The song grew louder. It was dark in the swamp, the dense brush blocking out most of the evening light, which made the flickering of a fire stand out. We slowed our pace and hid behind a thick bush, pushing the branches aside to see what lay on the other side, and when we did my jaw dropped and my eyes almost popped right out of my head.

There was a tall voluptuous woman there, dancing around a fire in the small cleared space outside a cozy-looking cabin. On the fire was a bubbling cauldron of some foul-smelling green liquid. None of that was overly surprising, but the fact that she was stark naked was.

She spun and lifted her arms to the sky making her boobs bounce. She smiled and sang louder. Her hair was golden, threaded with feathers and beads, and fell almost to her bare ass. A constellation of freckles speckled her nose and cheeks, and her feet were darkened with mud.

She wasn’t blasting lightning like Sob did but there was a magical buzz in the air so strong it made the hairs on my body stand on end.

Nora wore the same shocked expression as I did. “She has to be a fairy,” she whispered, so quietly I wasn’t sure I was supposed to hear it.

I agreed though. This woman let off an aura that was far from human.

Frank screamed and dropped from the sky. The witch smiled and offered him her arm, seemingly unfazed by his sharp talons.

“Well hello there handsome,” the woman said. “It’s been a long time since you came to visit.”

My shock grew. Did she know Frank? What the hell?

She turned toward our hiding spot, her eyes an unnatural but mesmerizing shade of purple. “You can come out now, don’t worry, I won’t bite.”

Nora stood and waltzed out into the clearing, seemingly unafraid. I tried to follow suit but I’m not sure I managed the same blase air. My brain was screaming at me to run.

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Nora smiled and planted the butt of her axe on the soft ground. “Hello there, you must be the Witch of Evermore.”

The other woman chuckled. “I’m not sure I must be, but sure, some silly folks have called me that before. You can call me Cassie if you prefer.”

“I’m Nora, and this here,” she jerked a thumb over her shoulder at me, “is Joe. He might look like a drooling bulldog right now but he’s alright.”

My face heated. “Thanks for that.”

Nora turned and flashed a brilliant smile at me. “You’re welcome.”

Stella barked and trotted forward, cautiously approaching Cassie. The witch knelt and let Stella sniff her hand before ruffling the fur on her head. Sob pushed past me, trotting across the clearing and shoving his face far too close to the cauldron.

“Careful,” Cassie warned. “You’ll burn the hairs off your nose doing that.”

Sob snorted and continued with what he was doing, unfazed by the warning. Stella crawled up into a ball near the woman’s feet, letting out an enormous yawn. I fought the urge to follow suit.

Cassie turned back to us. “Well Nora, Joe, it’s lovely to meet you. Would you like to come inside and we’ll talk?”

Nora nodded and followed the woman inside. I made to follow but paused, eyeing my animals suspiciously. They were too calm, almost like they were in a trance.

“Behave,” I said knowing neither of them would actually listen, and ducked through the low door into the candle-lit cabin.

The place was only one big room. On one side was a large bed covered with so many blankets and pillows I wasn’t sure where Cassie was supposed to fit on the thing. On the other side was a dining table with four chairs, a fireplace, and a large well-padded armchair surrounded by scattered books. On every free space from the windowsills to corners of the room, and even from hooks screwed into the ceiling were potted plants of every variety. It was more jungle inside than it was outside.

Cassie snatched a pale green dress from the back of a chair and pulled it on. It was a shame to see her impressive figure disappear but it did make me feel a little more at ease. Nora made herself comfortable in one of the chairs. It frustrated me how calm she was. Maybe she was caught in the same trance as the others.

Cassie grabbed a handful of seed from an open burlap sack near the fire and filled a small bowl suspended on a large hanging stick. Frank climbed up her arm and onto the stick to eat his treat. Then the witch settled in a chair opposite Nora. I stayed where I was near the door, leaning against the wall. Nora tossed me an odd look but chose not to comment.

“So,” Cassie said. “You’re here for my quest I assume?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Nora said.

“Thank the Goddess, I was beginning to think no one would come. I have to warn you, my quest is not as simple as some of the others you might have faced so far. Do you still want to hear it?”

“We’re ready,” Nora answered.

My discomfort grew as a wide toothy smile split the witch’s face. Whatever she had planned was going to be the death of us. I just knew it. I stuck my hand into my bum bag, ready to draw my bow the moment I needed it.

“I am in the middle of brewing a powerful potion that will help you against these naughty crocodiles. To do that though, I need three very rare ingredients. I need you to fetch them for me.” She glanced in my direction. “You’ll both need to collect these items if you’d like enough for two.”

Quest updated: The Witch of Evermore

Description: The witch is brewing a powerful potion. One that’s sure to knock the beastly crocs on their ass. Collect the following items to get a taste of the sweet, sweet elixir. 1 x Vampire Bat Wing. 1 x Gall bladder of a King Toilet Croc. 1 x Venom of the Nightstalker Rattler. Happy hunting.

Bitter bile rose in the back of my throat as I watched the words slowly fade away. I’d struggled to find a damn recipe and now I had to collect bits of what sounded like ridiculously powerful monsters? Well, not so much the vampire bat, but the others were insurmountable. Also, what the fuck was a King Toilet Croc? Like the other two versions I’d met so far weren’t bad enough.

I rubbed at my temples, trying to calm the growing throb building there. It didn’t help much.

Cassie stood and walked to the fire, dipping a long-handled ladle into a small pot bubbling there. She blew on the hot liquid and sipped noisily.

I opened my minimap and made a face, even with the new updates to the questline there were no new markers to show me the way. Hopefully, Nora would have some sort of idea of where we needed to go.

“Thank you,” Nora said pushing to her feet and heading for the door. “We’ll be back once we’ve gathered it all.”

“I look forward to your return,” the witch chimed.

I held out my arm and called, “Come, Frank, it’s time to go.”

Frank squawked deafeningly and flapped his wings, clutching more firmly to his perch.

Cassie chuckled. “No need to worry. He will be plump enough to eat by the time you return.”

I swallowed, not sure if she was being entirely serious or not. Frank had made up his mind though and I wasn’t going to fight him on it. I shrugged and turned, following Nora through the door. A powerful jolt of lightning shot through my veins, singeing my ass and making my teeth clack painfully together. I yelped as I shot a foot into the air.

Sob snorted and pranced away. I growled, flexing my fingers by my bum bag. I so badly wanted to fire an explosive arrow at his ass. It wouldn’t have been a clear shot through the words floating in front of my face though.

New Skill Unlocked: Magic Resistance (I)

Being blasted with so much magic has made you develop a slight resistance to its powers. Magic spells are now 2% less effective against you.

I blinked. “Huh?”

Nora turned and lifted a brown brow at me. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head as the words vanished. “Nothing. Let’s go.”