Have you ever done something that you assumed was a nice gesture only for it to blow up in your face? Yeah, well this was less of a blow-up than it was a trainwreck; dangerous, horrific, disastrous, and yet there was no looking away from it.

“Dad, Dad please, listen to me,” Gabby begged, kneeling in front of the fallen man as she shook him desperately.

“No, no. This is bad. Very bad. Gabby, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Please,” the man mumbled in response, trying to push the girl away from him.

Nora reached out, wrapping her fingers hard around my forearm and yanking me far away from the tiny makeshift cave I’d hidden the man in. She whipped me around like a ragdoll, practically tossing me up against a tree before she shoved an accusatory finger in my face. Stella trotted along behind us, not at all bothered by Nora’s sudden burst of anger.

“What the hell did you do to him,” she snarled.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything but bring him here.”

No amount of sincerity that I forced into my voice made that look on her face go away. You know the look. The one where her brows are dipped over eyes filled with fire and one side of a lip lifted to reveal her teeth. The sparse wrinkles she had were deepened by the stiffness overtaking her face and her skin was made splotchy by the sudden rush of blood. It was a look I wish I hadn’t seen before but let’s be honest, I saw it a lot.

All in all, that look meant murder was likely. I could even see the fingers of her free hand inching toward the haft of her axe. Despite my innocence a lump formed in my throat.

“That is not Theo, that is a… I don’t even know what he is! Something must have happened. Tell me what it was right now,” Nora said.

“How am I supposed to know? Miranda had him. Miranda, and Orion. It’s their fault he is like this, not mine. Besides, let's face it. The moment Gabby went to complete the Daughter of Umbra dungeon, he started to lose it.”

This time her fingers really did close around the wooden shaft of her axe. Her anger was less potent now, or at least not solely aimed in my direction.

“Miranda has a lot to answer for,” the warrior woman growled.

I couldn’t argue with that. I wanted to. I really wanted to. Whenever I thought about Miranda it wasn’t the scene of bloody murder at the Old Mill that I saw, it was the girl locked in a cage with desperation in her eyes. The one I had saved so long ago. I get that people can change, and change a lot at that. This didn’t feel like that though. If anything, she reminded me of the current version of Theo. They were both in a lot of pain. Angry at the world and everything in it. My brain was struggling to put it all together.

Nora snapped her fingers in front of my face, making me jump. “Earth to Joe, are you still with me?”

“Sorry. Just thinking, is all.”

Her face softened and she reached out with the hand that had once been jabbing a finger at my face, patting my arm like I was a sad child in need of comfort. “I know how painful that is for you, try not to think too hard, your head might explode.”

I shoved her shoulder, trying hard not to smile. “Lay off, would you? You say that every time.”

She laughed and said, “Because it’s true every time.”

“You’re such a bully, you know that, right?” I glanced over at Theo and Gabby and the same uncomfortable feeling swamped me. They were both crying and kneeling in the dirt, desperately trying to communicate but failing at it. “Should we do something? Maybe just force the guy to come to the inn with us?”

Nora turned to look at the pair. “Maybe we should just let them catch up. They need some time to just talk.”

“You’re just afraid to go over there,” I said.

She glared at me but it didn’t last long. “Of course I am, aren’t you? It’s a family matter. We’re not family.”

“I don’t know, you slept with the guy. That kind of makes you family.”

I yelped and clutched at my shoulder as she marched away from me and plonked down on a flat-topped rock. Stella followed her, dropping her heavy head in the warrior’s lap. I guess I deserved the punch and the abandonment. I still thought it was funny though.

Now I had no idea where to go. Should I follow Nora and risk another punch or go to Gabby and put up with the family drama going on over there?

Frank circled overhead, looking for something to catch and eat no doubt and Boopzy was still huddled in one of Nora’s many pockets. I was all alone and for whatever reason I did not like it. I pressed my back harder against the squat tree Nora had thrown me up against and slid down until my butt hit dirt. My plans never went the way I thought they would. That fact was beginning to annoy me.

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My eyes were drawn back to Gabby and Theo. They’d settled down a little now. Both of them were still kneeling but they were apart. Gabby’s face was red from crying and Theo was deathly pale in the light of the moon. The way the deeper shadows settled over his sunken eyes made the man look like a ghost. If his eyes were glowing pink I could see him being one of Miranda’s little playthings.

Was she the reason he was like this now or was Orion to blame? Should I have given it all up when I’d gotten that note from Phlegm? I’d been so angry at the man for keeping his secrets and letting our little clan fall apart while I was gone. We’d all be much further along in the game if he’d just spoken up earlier. We’d have the Witch of Evermore’s fantastical potion and we’d finally have Nigel the Sentinel. We might have already been rid of the Toilet Croc infestation altogether.

Okay, that probably wasn’t true. Nothing in this game was as easy as that. The Guardians were not nice beings. I doubt this Nigel character could just wave a hand and send all the creatures back to the depths of the cosmic sewer where they belonged.

I hissed through my teeth when Frank dropped onto my shoulder, digging his talons through my armor. At this point, I was beginning to wonder why my armor still had workable shoulders. Either Frank’s talons had magical repairing qualities or the armor was more robust than I thought. At least when Boopzy sat there it didn’t hurt.

“Shut the hell up!” the bird screamed loud enough to make everyone in the small clearing jump.

Nora and Gabby both glared at me like the bird's outburst was somehow my fault. Theo’s haunting look was preferable. Creepy, sure, but preferable.

“I think you better keep quiet,” I whispered to the heavy bird, trying hard not to focus on the fact he was eating a green-scaled mouse. “They’ll kill us all if you don’t.”

Frank looked up with a chunk of dead mouse hanging from his beak. He tilted his head like he was trying to decide if what I said was important. Evidently, he decided it wasn't and so he went back to feasting on his kill.

Thud!

I frowned and shifted to look around the tree. The noise was loud enough for me to hear it over the crunch of Frank tearing the small mutated creature to shreds on my shoulder.

There were too many shadows for me to make out what had made the noise but whatever it was it must be big. I swung my head around to Nora. She and Stella were already on their feet and heading my way. Stella’s paws were beginning to glow as the woman beside her swung her axe. Sizzling purple bolts shot along the shaft of it and blazed over the huge crescent-shaped blade. Nora had upgraded her weapon since the last time I’d seen her.

Gabby and Theo hadn’t noticed the noise. I stood slowly and pulled out my weapon along with the Croc Tooth Dagger of Eviscerate I’d kept behind my belt. The small blade was heavy and awkward but the effects that caused intensive bleeding were well worth the discomfort.

Thud!

Crap. Here we go. Frank squawked and flapped into the air, letting his half-eaten meal squelch to the ground by my feet. I ignored it, giving Nora a nod as I fingered my amulet and let the shimmering cloak of invisibility wrap over me. My Magicka pool began to drain the moment the spell was activated. I Blinked to a taller tree not far away and climbed to the highest solid branch.

I sat there waiting for the heavy beast to come closer like a panther waiting to ambush its prey. Nora and Stella separated, forming a barrier between the source of the noise and Gabby.

The sound of it brought the images of a King Toilet Croc to my mind. It was the only beast I knew that could make a sound like that. From my place in the tree, I dug out two bottles of my most potent poisons and dumped them over my sword and dagger.

I should be afraid but instead, I was excited. A battle with a beast was much easier to deal with than the mass of emotions going on back there.

Thud!

Come on beasty, hurry up.

Nora took another step closer and let out her warcry. The power of it infused me, bolstering all my stats including my Magicka, buying me more time to be invisible.

Thud!

The monster's shadow appeared between the trees. Every muscle in my body tightened as I prepared to leap but the shape of the shadow kept me in place. It wasn’t enormous like a King Toilet Croc should be. It was actually kind of small. Even smaller than Stella.

I frowned, eyeing the shadowy blob as it took another pounding step. I used my Blindsense and Identify in combination, glaring at the throbbing red aura coming off of it.

Iron Banded Wombat – Level 45

The tensing of my muscles intensified. Wombats were bad enough before they’d been infused with Melumek’s magic. Hit one of those bad boys with your car and you’d be saying goodbye to that car. They were miniature tanks hidden in an adorable fuzzy coat. Add whatever ‘Iron Banded’ meant and we were in trouble.

Stella started barking up a storm as the golden light of her charge-up power began to consume her entire body. The wombat let out a harsh raspy shriek in response and trundled forward, each step it took marked by the same thud that had seen us all on our feet and ready to fight. The light coming off of Stella was almost blinding in the dark, lighting her up like a beacon and making the darkness outside its reach seem all the blacker because of it.

The light illuminated the wombat as it charged toward the cattle dog, bouncing off the metal-like plates that wrapped around its wide and rounded back almost like an armadillo's armor. Too late I realised I’d missed my chance to leap from above and catch it off guard.

Stella flashed forward, slamming into the beast with her boosted Bash skill only to be flung backward as if she’d hit a solid stone wall. The wombat shrieked again, the sound ringing in my ears and making me dizzy. I clutched at the branch as my Magicka depleted and my invisibility was cast off.

The wombat’s health bar flashed up under its name, barely impacted at all by Stella’s powerful strike. Even from this distance, I could see Stella’s health bar and the large chunk missing from her attempted attack.

A reminder to anyone silly enough to be misled by a cute fuzzy face; never mess with a wombat.