I fiddled with the little starburst shard of mirror I’d collected the morning I’d met the Witch of Evermore in the strange reflection realm she’d dragged me to. Nigel was busy going batshit crazy all over the house, running up and down the stairs like a cat doing midnight zoomies.

I could understand the gnome’s anger at being kidnapped from his home all over again. It hadn’t been all that long since he’d been escorted back to his cozy hole in the lighthouse. At least this time he wouldn’t be caged butt naked over roaring flames. I had my own reasons to be annoyed at my so-called Master. My note had included a demand to get my pretty coffee and cream glimmering stone back but the man hadn’t even mentioned it in his reply. So much for the first rule of the Shadow Walkers.

My reflection in the tiny shard of mirror looked back at me with the same bemused expression I wore. No matter how many times I looked into it my reflection never moved. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or saddened by that.

Nigel’s bellowing was beginning to give me a headache when he finally stopped his raging in the middle of the room I sat in. His chest heaved and his nostrils flared as he tried to catch his breath. The tip of his pointed red cap was wobbling.

“Are you done?” I asked.

Nigel howled and turned on me, pointing a gnarled finger right at my nose. “This is all your fault. I should turn you into a slug!”

My eyes watered and my face tensed as I fought hard to hide my yawn. I didn’t hide it well enough it would seem. Red blotches bloomed atop his jagged cheekbones and his finger jerked about as wildly as the tip of his cap.

“I wasn’t the one that brought you here,” I reminded him, carefully tucking the tiny bit of mirror back in my bum bag where it would be safe.

“Then why did the pretty boy say you paid him to bring me here, hmm?” the gnome hissed.

It was my time to rage. “He said what?”

Nigel stepped closer. “Why am I here?”

I cleared my throat and scratched at the uncomfortable dryness of my scalp. When I had a spare moment I’d have to find some sort of abandoned store and grab a bottle or two of anti-dandruff shampoo. It wasn’t a problem that flared up often but when it did it was a real bitch. It was nice of the Guardians, or whatever they were calling themselves, to bring magic to the world only to leave behind small irritants like dandruff and allergies. If they were going to have us torn in two by outlandish Croc monsters that looked like they belonged in a low-budget ‘80s cartoon, they could have helped us out a little in the hygiene department.

“Hello, earth to dumbass, are you there?”

I blinked and shook myself from the odd daze I’d fallen into. Maybe my nap earlier hadn’t been quite as restful as I’d thought it had been.

“I need you to fix some toilets for me,” I said, unsure how to make that sound less ridiculous.

“I am not a plumber!” Nigel screeched.

Alright, time to change tactics, I thought to myself before blurting out, “You’re the only one I know who is powerful enough to do this. Will you cast the spell that will keep the Crocs from tearing us a new one every time we have to use the toilet?”

The red blotches coloring his face cooled a little and his angry jabbing finger dropped as my semi-compliment made an impact. He stood there looking a little uncertain about what to do next as he straightened his tiny red shirt.

With all the red and his green pants, the gnome looked like he might belong in a Christmas bargain bin sale. All he was missing was a touch of glitter and a pompom on the tip of his cap.

“Well, I guess… No, this is bullshit… but, if you need… Fucking hell, this is…” Nigel stammered, bouncing back and forth between being willing to help and being angry at his situation.

I bit my inner cheek to keep from smirking as I watched him struggle. Overhead something rumbled, making me tense up as my eyes drifted upward. I focused on Blindsense, eyeing the room up and to my left. There was nothing there just yet but there was gurgling. If we waited too much longer, we’d be trapped on the lower floor with no way out through the barred windows.

“Nope, I ain’t gonna give up my secrets so easily. You and your criminal friend can’t just whisk me away across the country and expect me to do your bidding. No way, you got to pay the piper, my friend. And what you’re asking for, it don’t come cheap. It’s my Gran’s spell. No Hortus Gnome gives up a family secret without getting a little coin.”

There was no holding back my yawn this time. When my jaw cracked and settled back where it was supposed to be I said, “That’s a load of bullshit and you know it. All the toilets in Oliver’s Rest were spelled against the Crocs.”

Nigel let out a violent huff and dropped onto his ass, folding his arms over his strangely barrel-like chest. “Look, my ass hairs still haven’t grown back from that little roasting game we played in your so-called Oliver’s Rest. Besides, it’s not like I actually told them the spell, the bastards stole the note from my pocket when they stripped me off.”

“Nigel, please. This is important.”

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The gurgling grew louder. My fingers curled into fists as I eyed the ceiling. There were no auras up there aside from Frank’s green one over to the right. I climbed to my feet, dusting off my ass, and reached out a hand to the gnome.

“We have to get out of here, a Croc is coming.”

Nigel screamed, “What? Where?”

“Shut the hell up!”

I smiled and pointed at Frank giving the gnome a sharp nod. “Frank’s got the right idea. Come on, we’ll go to the Red Fox…”

My voice trailed off as I remembered what had happened the last time I’d tried to take Nigel there. Goblins and gnomes weren’t exactly friends. We’d have to get to the roof of this place instead. It was a place I’d stayed before what felt like years ago. We’d be relatively safe from the crocodilian monsters up there or at the very least less trapped.

The gnome knocked my hand aside and leaped to his feet. “Stop your whining, ain’t no Croc gonna snap me up.”

The gnome walked over to a mirror and stared at his reflection, turning one way and then the other to check out every angle before running a bony finger down the odd etchings that framed the glass. The gnome spun, eyeing the enormous collection of mirrors Gabby and I had put together.

“What is all this about?” he asked me.

“I have an idea for this place. I’ll let you know if it works out the way I want it to.”

Nigel snorted. “You’re playing at being a Mage? Please.”

I lifted a brow at that, recklessly ignoring the rumbling overhead. “I don’t need to be a Mage you tiny little idiot. I just need to know one.”

Nigel let out a noisy belly laugh. “What’s that gonna cost you, dumbass? One hundred thousand gold? Five hundred thousand? If you’ve got that much gold feel free to chuck some of it my way. It’ll only cost you fifty thousand to buy the Croc Resistant Toilet spell from me. That’s a bargain, yeah?”

I rubbed a hand over my stubbled head. “I don’t have that kind of gold and you know it.”

The gnome bared his teeth at me with a terrifying grin. “Too bad, so sad. No spell for you. Take me home now, and don’t be so slow this time, I’ve got socks to darn.”

My brows met in the middle as I frowned at the creature. “What the hell does that mean, ‘darn your socks’?”

“It means that I’m going to grab a sock and darn it. You’re sharp as a marble, aren’t you big boy?” Nigel said.

Overhead the pipes rumbled and water flushed. I swallowed and eyed the sudden appearance of a potent red aura. We had waited too long. It was here now. I lifted a hand and carefully dragged my sword from its sheath, tensing every time the sliding steel made a noise.

“Fuck,” I whispered to myself more than anyone else.

Frank flapped his wings and dropped from his hidden perch near the ceiling to land on my shoulder. I clamped his beak with my free hand the moment he tried to scream into the darkness of the doorway. The torch still lying on the floor by the stone leg of the side table lit the room up like a flaming beacon. It wouldn’t take long for the growling beast upstairs to find us down here.

“Come on Nigel, we have to go,” I said quietly.

The gnome glared at me. “I’m too tired for this shit.”

I grasped for the gnome when he turned on his heel and charged toward the mirror he’d been admiring himself in earlier. He ran right into it at speed filling the air with the crash of breaking glass. Shards of silvery mirror scattered across the floor, some of it skittering far enough to hit my boot.

“Shut the hell up!” Frank screamed in surprise.

A roar like thunder filtered down the stairs followed by the thudding of giant clawed feet. The Croc was coming and he was coming fast.

“Are you coming?”

My head snapped back around to the destruction Nigel had created. He wasn’t standing there like I thought he would be and he wasn’t flat on his back on the ground either. Instead, he was standing inside the mirror next to the one he’d shattered, glaring out at me from the mirrored world.

“Hurry up windbag, or the beastie will get you,” he said, curling his fingers at me to hurry me along.

Frank dove off my shoulder, sweeping close to the ground as he soared toward the mirror. I lifted my hand, covering my eyes and tensing for the explosion of dangerous slivers. It didn’t come. When Frank hit the glass it sent circular ripples out around him like he’d dove into a pool of water. His tail feathers slipped through the glass and he righted himself, flapping in the reflected golden light of my sputtering torch.

I couldn’t tell if Nigel was really bad at slipping into alternative realms or if Frank was just really good at it. They both seemed desperate for me to join them but I wasn’t magical like Nigel or just plain weird like Frank. I turned away from them, charging at the wall and scaling it, shoving my fingers between the gaps of the hanging mirrors. I reached the top and turned, my muscles already burning as I held the awkward position.

The Croc barreled in almost immediately, its scaled flat head passing right below me. I didn’t wait for it to orientate itself in the brightness of the room and released my grip, kicking off the wall and holding my blade out with both hands. I hit the beast and used my weight to plunge the sword deep into the Croc’s neck.

It’s health bar plummeted. All around us, the mirrors vibrated, some of them striking together and shattering, covering the floor in a thicker layer of shards that crunched under the Croc’s enormous lurching feet.

A heavily muscled clawed hand wrapped around my middle, yanking me off of it. My blade remained lodged in the Croc’s body. I scrambled and reached for it but it didn’t join me. The poisoned icon flickered and appeared beside the Croc’s health bar, a present left behind from my devilish potions. I threw my arm out, waiting for the Croc’s golden eye to appear before releasing my loaded bolt.

The beast roared as it let me fall, the stench of its foul breath blasting me square in the face until the floor rushed up to meet me and stole a hefty chunk of my health. I might have strong Agility skills but I was not a cat. I couldn’t always land on my feet.

The Croc snarled and lifted a sliced and bloody foot, bringing it down on top of me with enough force the crack the floor beneath me. The Croc’s hiss rang in my ears, making the fine hairs at the back of my neck stand on end. Brilliant spots of light burst in front of my eyes like bubbles, obscuring everything else from view. Blood splurted from my mouth as something important broke in my chest. The warmth of it and the strong taste of blood were almost enough to make me gag but the searing agony that kept me from drawing a true breath stopped me.