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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 39 – Sewer Hag Part One

Chapter 39 – Sewer Hag Part One

I slid along the damp slimy bricks and slammed into the curved wall. My health dropped to below half as I struggled back to my feet. No matter what we did it didn’t seem to make a difference against the beast in the sewer pool.

Nora lashed out with a powerful strike of her axe but like every attack so far it hit the invisible barrier in front of the monster. The hag cackled as Nora was sent reeling, her strike thrown back at her by some unknown force.

Jacob fired his gun but the bullet ricocheted, sending him dropping to the ground with a scream as it came back his way. Sob had stopped shooting lightning at the thing when after his first few bolts had been absorbed by the hag. His magic seemed to feed her. Each bolt had made her grow larger and more powerful.

Stella was running in a wild circle around the pool, her barks of fury echoing off the brick walls. We were so screwed. How can you defeat a monster when you can’t even hit the thing?

My grip tightened on my swords as I stood shaking by the wall, trying desperately to think of a way to get even a little ahead. There had to be a way. This was a challenge dungeon. It could be beaten. We were just doing it wrong. But how?

Sob whinnied as one of Jacob’s bullets struck him. Lightning filled the room, bouncing off nearly every surface. I yelped and dodged the bolts as they came my way. One of them hit me but aside from some nasty numbness in my limbs, it didn’t hurt too badly thanks to my magic resistance skill. It might have been different if I’d been hit by the full blast of one of his spells but that was something I was eager not to learn right about now.

Kind of hard to focus on such things when you’re battling a swamp hag, you know?

The hag wasn’t bothered by Sob’s wild explosion of magic. Instead, she cackled and lifted her vine-covered arms toward the mushroom above her head. The magic filtered through the barrier she kept between her and us, absorbing into her green skin and making her grow ever larger. The boils on her body burst, weeping a glowing blue substance that slowly dripped into the pool at her feet.

Mushrooms on long stems with thin, delicate blue caps rose from the muck in a ring around her. I stared in horror as the things tilted. A buzz filled the air. Great balls of blue sparking plasma shot from the mushrooms.

Nora screamed and dove to the side, barely missing being struck by the magical attack. The plasma ball hit the wall and glowed brighter, sparks dancing along its surface as an acrid smell overpowered the scent of sewage in the air. When the glow dissipated a sizable hole had been carved into the solid brick wall leaving behind a heavy coating of soot.

What followed was pure chaos. The mushrooms fired their plasma balls at all of us in quick succession. The chamber was filled with screams and wails overpowered by the hag's cruel ceaseless cackling.

I bolted for one of the tunnels to find some form of cover but just as I reached the precipice solid iron bars dropped from the ceiling and closed off the opening. Emilia stood on the other side, the same wicked smile she had before on what should have been an innocent child’s face.

“I told you she doesn’t like you,” the girl said. “Mother is too powerful for all of you, no physical attack will ever hit her.”

I ducked as a plasma ball flew over my head. I wanted so badly to slide my blades through the bars and deep into the girl’s chest. No matter how tempting it was though, I wasn’t monster enough to kill something that looked so much like a little kid. I hadn’t gone that far over to the dark side just yet.

Besides, her words were ringing around in my head. There was something in them, but it just wasn’t putting itself together. I turned and ran toward my comrades, dodging the globs of plasma. A splash of the stuff fell on my glove, eating through the croc skin so fast I couldn’t take the blasted thing off before it hit my skin.

The smell of burned flesh filled my nose as I bellowed and fell against the wall. My health plummeted. All this from one tiny drop. If the entire thing had hit me, I’d be a dead man for sure. I pushed myself off the wall, tossing my ruined glove on the ground as I rushed to Nora’s side.

“What are we going to do,” I bellowed over the noise. “My swords are no good.”

Nora's eyes were wide and filled with fear. Something I’d not seen before. I didn’t like it. “I don’t know. My axe does nothing!”

A bullet whizzed past my head followed by a glob of sparky plasma. “Jacob, stop firing at the things! It doesn’t work.”

Jacob wasn’t listening. He was huddled against a wall not far away making himself as small as possible. His face was deathly white. His shooting arm extended and wavered as he attempted to aim once more at the hag.

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This was insane. We were all dead. There was nothing we could do. Nothing worked.

“Stella!”

My cry came too late as one of the balls struck her flank and sent her flying into a wall. I ran for her but was forced to stop as the mushrooms aimed at me. Through the barrage, I could see my girl climbing shakily to her feet, a testament to what must have been a strong vitality score.

Sob made it to her when I couldn’t, avoiding a bouncing bullet from Jacob as he nudged Stella and with a brilliant flash of blue light, healed her.

I stumbled back from the assault of the mushrooms and turned toward Jacob, furious that once again he’d almost hit one of us. He was just as dangerous as the bloody mushrooms. I charged toward the boy when all the puzzle pieces finally came together in my head. Physical weapons couldn’t hit the hag, but magic went straight through the barrier, it just didn’t hurt her any.

“Sob!”

The horse must have heard the sheer desperation in my voice because, for the first time, he listened to me without hesitation. The horse charged across the cavern, somehow dodging every single one of the plasma balls sent his way.

I turned as he reached me and yanked a whimpering Jacob to his feet, practically throwing him atop the horse.

“Sob, send your mana into Jacob’s gun. Do it now!”

I didn’t even know if what I was asking him to do was possible. I had all my fingers and toes crossed that it would be. Nora and Stella were drawing the attention of the hag and the mushroom army she somehow controlled. Sob’s entire body started to spark. Jacob screamed and tried to launch himself off the horse but I forced him back into place.

“Wait, you idiot. Let Sob’s magic fill your weapon. When it does, fire. Aim for the hag’s head. Don’t miss.”

Jacob steadied a little, but his fear was still a palpable force around him. I ground my teeth, wishing it was me up there with my bow. I didn’t like having zero control over a situation that could so easily end in my death.

Sob’s brilliant blue sparks collected around Jacob’s gun until it glowed brightly. The kid screamed and aimed his gun, firing at the monster keeping us locked in this foul dungeon. The bullet that flew from the barrel was sparking, filled with Sob’s potent magic.

It felt like the world around us slowed as I watched the bullet fly. It struck the barrier and for a brief moment, it seemed to slow like it was suddenly trying to fly through jelly rather than air. Then it blasted through, striking the hag right in the head just like I’d hoped it would.

The hag screamed and writhed, thrashing so hard she trampled many of the plasma-shooting mushrooms. I couldn’t help but let out a wild ‘whoop’ at our success.

“Keep going,” I cried. “As many as you can.”

I smacked Sob’s ass and the horse took off running around the edge of the pool his whole body still sparking with magic. Jacob yelped and tangled a hand in the horse's mane as he took aim and fired again. The health bar above the hag’s head was finally moving down. It was a victory like no other we’d faced so far. Even more satisfying than when I’d landed a hit on Vincent Voss.

I ran to Nora and Stella. Nora looked up at me with a small smile on her face. “What do we do now? Just hang back and wait?”

“What else can we do?”

Stella growled. I turned to look at the hag and all my excitement began to dissolve. She was still growing, her head of tangled green hair now brushing the tip of the giant mushroom cap. She screeched and flung out her arms, shooting vines all over the room.

I dropped to the ground, dragging Nora with me as one of the thick bands shot through where we’d just been standing. Across the cavern, I heard Sob whinny as he reared to avoid one of the vines. Jacob screamed and tumbled off his back, hitting the ground hard enough to knock him out cold. At least, I hoped he was only unconscious and not dead.

I jumped to my feet with a speed that a few months ago would have made me pull something. The benefits of having a half-decent score in agility I supposed. With a wild roar, I brought my blades down on the vine.

It snapped, my powerful weapons cutting through it like a hot knife through butter. The thick cable-like vine shot back toward the hag, smashing into her, and dragging a bellow from her purple lips. Her health dropped again but not as much as when she’d been hit by a mana-filled bullet.

“Cut the vines!”

I took off running, hoping Nora and Stella would do as I’d said. I sliced through every vine that stood in my way. One of them was high above my head but that didn’t stop me. I kicked off the brick way and brought my blades down in an overhead sweep. The vine snapped. I landed with a heavy thump as I desperately drew air into my lungs.

The hag was thrashing wildly, the sickening water in her pool splashing in every direction. I kept running, slicing more and more as I made my way around the cavern.

“Stop it! Stop hurting my mother!”

The sound of Emilia’s voice distracted me. My foot hit a puddle and slipped out from under me, sending me crashing to the ground. My blades were knocked from my hands and skittered across the floor. I crawled after them ignoring the pain.

Another vine came flying from the hag smacking me right in the chest and slamming me up against a wall. The taste of iron filled my mouth as I coughed out blood. The vine ground into my torso, trying to impale me. I wrapped my hands around it, but it was thick and slimy. My energy was gone, and most of my stamina along with it.

Nora shouted but she was too far away. The vine dug deeper breaking through my leathers and digging deep into my weak flesh. Blood dripped down my stomach.

So much for becoming a master thief.