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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 66 – The True King

Chapter 66 – The True King

Sheets of icy rain stabbed at my face as Sob bolted down the street. I attempted to guide him but the village was as much a warren as the maze had been. It didn’t matter though, the horse seemed to know where he was going.

The streets were empty. Even the beggars, ruffians, and streetwalkers had been chased inside by the storm. Sob rounded a corner. Miranda grabbed my waist harder to keep herself astride. I could see the little notification bell blinking in the corner of my vision but there was no time to look at what it had to say.

An arrow whizzed past my ear. I yelped and ducked my head looking back at our attackers. They were gaining ground on us. Sob was strong and exceptionally fast but even he was not immune to the weight of two people on his back.

His hooves clattered on the cobbles below us as he took an aggressive turn, pounding down a dark alleyway and onto another street. In the distance, I could see the towering height of the cathedral. It occurred to me too late, as hindsight always did, that I should have waited until the High Priest had blessed the crown before I stole it. What use was it to me, or to Kendrick, in its current state?

I tried unsuccessfully to draw out my bow from my inventory. I had a vague thought to meet offense with some of my own but with Miranda gripping me so hard I had no way to maneuver myself to fire arrows effectively. That left me with only one thing I could do; hold on to Sob’s now almost completely blue mane for dear life and hope he would save our asses.

I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it again, but I really didn’t like having to rely on others to get me out of trouble. When I was a starving kid in the streets of Wangaratta I’d relied on grownups not giving a shit about me to steal candy and bread from the milkbar. Even now I’m not sure I really did a good job of it, maybe they all knew exactly who I was and why I was taking food off the shelves in the first place. Maybe it wasn’t that I was sneaky, maybe it was just that they pitied me. Who knows. I’d gotten out of there the moment I was old enough to fend for myself and I’d not stolen anything since. Well, until this messed up new world had swallowed me whole anyway.

Sharp steel sliced across my thigh, reminding me that I was currently in a life-or-death situation. I touched the spot with a finger hissing through my teeth at the sharp sting even that light touch had created. The arrow had cut deep.

We rounded another bend. Right in front of us was the wall separating the Upper Heights and the Religious Sector. I swallowed back the bile burning my throat at the thought of going into the enemy's nest but it was the fastest way out of this place.

Before we reached the wall the air around us began to shift, lifting the hairs on the back of my neck. The rain stopped but as I looked up at the roiling black clouds something far worse descended on us. My mouth dropped open as I watched the funnel form. It was small at first but grew with terrifying speed as it struck the ground.

A loud rumble filled the air, like the sound you’d hear if a train was passing by right in front of you, followed by a continuous whine. Shingles from the roofs of buildings were sucked up into the funnel as it grew wider and wider, the base of the spout taking up the entire road in front of us.

Sob whinnied as he slowed, rearing up at the whirlwind. Blue lightning flickered around his mouth but he didn’t fire any. Even he knew a few bolts of magical lightning couldn’t dispel a tornado. I clutched to him, desperate not to fall off, and Miranda clutched onto me, her terrified wails barely audible over the noise of the tornado.

I squinted through the darkness back at our pursuers. Each and every one of them had stopped as we had, there’s eyes solely focused on the tornado instead of us. Sob’s hooves hit the ground and the moment they did I dug my heels into his sides. He responded immediately, racing back the way we came.

The tornado followed us like it was locked on target. For a moment, the guards hesitated. They wanted to capture us but the storm was just as much of a danger to them as it was to us. They chose to leave us be and run.

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The emus reacted the fastest. Their three-toed feet hit the ground hard as they outstripped us. One of the guards was thrown right off the blade-feathered creature. He shouted for someone to help him but no one did. He fell behind, unable to keep up on his puny human legs. I looked back and I really wish I hadn’t. The man was sucked right up into the funnel like a plastic bag caught in an updraft. I could hear his muffled screams for a moment but then nothing as he was swung about, climbing higher and higher in the spout until he flung out of it at a frightening speed. I didn’t want to know where he landed. He’d be nothing more than a broken splatter on the ground after that.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat and focused on where we were going. The guards had split up in their wild race to escape the murderous magical tornado. Sob stuck to the main thoroughfare, letting the clear path feed his speed as he ran for all our lives.

A bird thumped onto Sob mane right in front of me nearly unseating me as I panicked. The small creature, a willy wagtail by the look of it, dug its tiny talons into the flesh of my hand, clinging to me to stop from being sucked to its death.

I don’t know why, but I cradled the thing. It was so small and innocent, it didn’t deserve to die.

Sob slowed again. My heart thundered in my chest as I looked ahead. Standing in the street was the peacock toad man himself, his face contorted by rage and lit up by the silver magic fire that engulfed his hands. His lover was nowhere to be seen now but his right-hand man Eric was standing right behind him, as statue-like as always. Even with the storm rushing toward us his face was blank.

For whatever reason, Eric still frightened me more than Count Banksia did.

I flailed in my seat atop Sob. There were no side streets or alleyways for us to duck into. We were stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or between a tornado and a psycho as it were.

I didn’t know what to do. Stella was still right beside us, her paws glowing as she growled. Lightning crackled from Sob’s mouth, tongues of it striking the ground by his hooves as it waited to be unleashed. I reached for my blade but hesitated, the Shadow Walker's third rule echoed in my head in Kendrick’s droning voice.

You must never kill while on a Guild-sanctioned job.

I’d already ascertained that the rule did not apply to unrelated monsters but I sure as hell thought it would matter if I killed the target of a quest.

Speaking of the quest. I was fairly certain I’d failed it anyway. There was an important step that I’d never completed. I hadn’t planted the evidence of the Count’s corruption. There had been nowhere to do so in the man's mystical lover’s retreat. Now more than ever, I was sure that I had chosen the wrong time to steal the crown.

Movement behind the Count drew my eye. I bared my teeth at the High Priest in his gaudy robes. He was standing off in the shadows of what looked like a hat shop but even in the darkness, I could see the look of pure satisfaction all over his face. The bastard was going to enjoy watching me die.

The tornado stopped its forward motion as the Count shifted his hand position. The roar of the wind quietened a little even though the thing continued to spin wildly behind us.

“Hand over the crown or meet your death,” the Count bellowed.

I didn’t say a word. What could I say? My brain was so busy struggling to come up with an escape plan that I couldn’t even think of a smart retort. No, silence was best. The fact that it seemed to enrage the man, even more, gave me the tiniest thrill of pleasure.

“Give the crown to the true king.”

I frowned, looking around for the source of the voice that sounded so close to my ear. “Who said that?”

“I won’t be ignored, give me the crown!” the Count screamed.

“Hurry, before we all die.”

This time I didn’t hesitate. It didn’t matter who or what was speaking to me. I suddenly knew exactly what I had to do. I shadow rushed from Sob’s back, hearing Miranda scream as her arms were torn from my waist. My feet hit the ground right behind the Count.

It was like everything had slowed down. The Count was turning to face me but he might as well have been moving through honey. I spun, much faster than him, and yanked the crown from my pocket.

A jeweled blade appeared in Eric’s hand as he bellowed and spun to strike me but he too was moving so slowly. Too slowly to stop me from slamming the crown onto his head of jet-black hair.

The moment the circlet settled on his head Eric’s entire demeanor changed. He stopped his attack, his jeweled blade resting only centimeters from my unprotected midsection. His eyes blazed with new life as the stiffness of his body melted away.

“No!” Count Banksia cried.

But it was too late, the true king had been crowned.