“Joe, I don’t think this is working the way you want it to.”
I grunted as I heaved the heavy wooden column into place. The sheets of curving metal it was keeping in position formed a kind of wall in front of the building, just like I’d wanted it to. I dusted off my hands and stepped away from it, admiring our fine work.
“What are you talking about?” I asked Gabby. “It’s coming along nicely enough.”
I turned in time to see the sour face Gabby made. I frowned at it, not appreciating her gloomy attitude to our almost week-long endeavor to turn the building beside the Red Fox Inn into our clan's home base. Sure, it looked a little shit right now but we had to start somewhere. It was better than the crappy tower the Croc monsters had built for themselves in Perth.
I shaded my eyes against the noonday sun as I looked up at the cloudless blue sky. Frank was taking a very long time to return from the mission I’d sent him on. My head dropped again as the tightness formed in my chest as it had almost every day since I’d left Perth. Frank was not the only one who hadn’t returned.
Nora was still gone.
I sighed and rubbed my hand over my short-cropped hair. I'd been working so hard just to keep my mind from focusing on all the horrid possibilities. Still, the image of her hanging from chains was hard to banish. You’d think I’d have moved on from that delightful vision but it lingered in my memories something fierce.
Why is it that bad memories are always the strongest?
Stella barked and pawed at my leg. When I glanced at her she dropped a slobbery ball at my feet. I blinked, bending down to pick up the fuzzless remains of a once yellow tennis ball. Where the hell did she even find this thing?
I tossed it, screwing up my nose at the thick strings of slobber that stayed behind on my glove. Stella barked as she chased after it, trying desperately to dig it out when it rolled into a crack in the foundation of the building opposite. My bad. At least it would keep her busy for a little while I guess.
“Maybe we should just hunt a little bit more. Cull some of the monsters before it gets dark,” Gabby said.
“Maybe you’re right,” I said with a sigh.
Getting the building relatively fortified had been my main concern. My next one was replacing the two toilets in it with ones that were Croc-resistant. That was the task I’d assigned to Frank. Too bad the damn raven seemed to be taking his sweet ass time to find my delightful Master. The sound of swirling water had me spinning around and yanking out my sword. The sound didn’t repeat and no monsters appeared so after a while I let my hand drop still weary that something was out there just waiting for me to turn my back.
There was another reason I wanted those toilets so badly. We’d already had two Crocs crawl out of the ones in there. We’d be dead if Gabby and I didn’t have such high levels of Agility and an inn considered a safe zone right next door. We’d done a fine job fighting monsters when we’d been in control of the terrain and ultimately the fight but when the monsters surprised us that was when brute force was necessary. Something two thieves just did not have.
I didn’t much feel like hunting monsters right about now. All I wanted to do was hop a stool at the inn and drown my misery in a frosty cold one. Or maybe fifteen of them. I looked back over my shoulder at the ramshackle barriers we’d erected in front of the door. It had been barricaded long before we’d arrived along with the windows on the ground floor but now it was much stronger. We didn’t want to risk any undesirables getting into the place we planned to call home.
We’d still not figured out a way to make it easily accessible to us but until the less nimble members of our clan returned, that wasn’t much of a problem. Between us, Gabby and I had been able to get Stella in through the upper windows the one time we’d tried. Too bad that one time hadn’t been one of the times a Toilet Croc had ambushed us.
I was starting to wonder if it was even possible to build a proper fortress without a butt load of Crafters. Apparently being an Alchemist didn’t count for much when you wanted to build fortifications. Who would have thought?
“Howdy,” a rumbling voice called from the building beside ours. “Roska be pulling a great fat pig from the fire. Any chance the pair of ya would like to join us for lunch?”
I smiled and waved at the squat little goblin standing in from of the Red Fox Inn. The creature was as rotund as Phlegm but half the height. His long pointed green ears stuck out almost parallel to the ground and above his darker green lips was a thick grey mustache that made an unusual amount of jealousy bubble up inside my gut.
“Thanks, Affald,” I called back to Phlegm’s brother-in-law. “Maybe we’ll catch you for dinner.”
The goblin grinned exposing a line of teeth as yellowed as his tusks. “I’ll hold you to it, Master Joe.”
‘Master Joe’. I loved that he called me that. For whatever reason the meaningless title made me stand up straighter and hold my head just that little bit higher.
Gabby poked hard at my chest. “Careful, Joe. You’ll pop like a balloon if you let that shit go to your head any more than it already has.”
“That’s Master Joe to you,” I said, rubbing at the sore spot she’d created.
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She snorted. “Keep dreaming.”
“So what now?” I asked. “Do we keep building or go on a hunt?”
Gabby looked at me, tapping her chin as the cogs worked overtime inside her head. “Maybe we should look for a few more mirrors first.”
I perked up at that one. A smile split my face as I quickly resheathed my blade and hopped from foot to foot like Frank so often did. “That’s a great idea.”
Gabby laughed and shook her head. “Maybe tonight you’ll tell me why we’re collecting so many of the things?”
“Maybe.”
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By sundown, Gabby and I were carrying our haul into the upper windows of the building we’d claimed as our own. We had just about everything, from tiny compact mirrors to enormous and glamourously framed mirrors meant for ornate entranceways. Together we carried the loot into what might have been a loungeroom in times past. At least, that’s what the old broken couch suggested. We moved around the room, fitting our newest additions to the outrageous collection in any spot they would fit. None of it was particularly organized or decorative but it would serve the purpose I had in mind for it.
“There,” Gabby said, fluttering down from her spot near the ceiling on her large white feathered wings. “That’s all of them.”
I beamed and trotted to the center of the room, spinning in a slow circle to admire our fine work. Every surface, from the walls to the tables we’d crowded the room with, was overflowing with mirrors.
It was perfect.
I wiped the sweat from my brow and turned to leave. My stomach was grumbling angrily by this point, making just the idea of Roska’s roasted pig have me slobbering like an adorable dog we all knew so often did.
“Come on, let’s go eat,” I said.
I swung out the window we’d come through and latched onto the drainage pipe I’d been using to climb up and down. Gabby pushed out behind me, leaping into the open air and beating her wings until she alighted delicately on the ground.
I muttered and cursed under my breath as I clambered down in a far less graceful and even worse, far less speedy, manner. It was very unfair that she had those wings. My trials in another realm had only given me a deadly kiss. I think I got in good with the wrong Goddess.
When I finally landed beside Gabby I said, “Think your Goddess will let me become a Daughter of Umbra.”
Gabby laughed again and jabbed at the crossbow strapped to my wrist as we began walking. “Looks like she’s already accepted you as an honorary one, otherwise she’d have struck you down with a bolt of lightning for putting that on.”
“Great, where do I pick up my wings?”
“Honorary member Joe, not a full initiate like I am.”
“Initiate? Geez sounds like your Goddess has dragged you into something as cultish as the Fellowship of Fayum,” I said.
Thunder boomed overhead as an enormous bolt of lightning forked across the cloudless night sky. I frowned and lowered to a crouch, looking around for the mage who had let loose the bolt of magic. They’d have to be outrageously powerful to do something like that. Even Sob couldn’t produce a bolt of lightning that big.
Gabby grabbed my arm and yanked me back into an upright position before whispering in my ear, “Best not to insult my Goddess. She’s not the forgiving kind.”
I moved a lot more cautiously now, keeping my eyes on the blanket of stars starting to blink and twinkle overhead. “Care to tell me a bit about your trial? I told you all about mine.”
The smile dropped from her face as the lantern outside the Red Fox Inn’s door cast deep shadows over it. She folded her arm around her in a hard hug, keeping her eyes on her feet. I swallowed, feeling bad for even bringing it up now. I pushed the door to the inn open, letting Gabby and Stella inside ahead of me.
I opened my mouth but before I could say anything Roska called from behind the bar, “Welcome, welcome! I was hoping you would join us tonight. Affald said you might but he seems to think we’ll have guests every single night. You’d think in a place with a Master Smith that would be true, but so far it hasn’t seemed that way.
Now, I have two choices for dinner. There is roasted pig or stuffed chicken. Both are absolutely delicious and can be paired with either a hearty brew or a finer more complex wine. Whichever takes your fancy. Just let me know and I’ll get the plates right out for you.
Oh and don’t think I’ve forgotten you, Mistress Stella. I have a great big bowl of seasoned pig innards just for you.”
I stood there in the doorway just staring at the goblin standing not too far from me. She was the complete opposite of her brother. She was short and skinny and a far paler shade of green. Three darker splotches painted her cheeks a little like freckles but far too symmetrical. I couldn’t tell if they were tattoos or if such markings were just naturally occurring for goblins. She still had tusks but by the look of them, she took far better care of them than the men I’d met. Hers were barely yellowed at all and sharpened into vicious-looking points. Her long black braid of hair hung down the center of her head like a mohawk, exposing the clean-shaven sides.
She’d taken me by surprise the first time we’d walked into this place. For some reason, I’d expected Phlegm and Taki to follow us back like they were our own personal innkeepers. Finding the goblin’s sister standing here in his place still felt wrong.
And my Goddess, could she talk your ear off. Seriously, if they were detachable I’d take them off myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a man who likes a chat but whenever the goblin woman spoke she let loose a palpable wave of cheeriness that crushed me under it. Although given I had a fair amount of points stacked in my Charisma skill, maybe I should be taking notes from the woman instead of cringing and trying to get away. I had no doubt she could teach me a lot.
Gabby wasn’t as intimidated by the fierce string of words as I was. She walked right up to the bar and reached over it to give the woman a quick hug. The movement exposed the twin onehanded axes sheathed on the goblin's back. Perhaps ‘axes’ was a little bit of a strong word, they were broad and boxy, more like a meat cleaver than an axe. Seeing them just reminded me that we were missing our own powerful axe-wielding warrior woman.
I sighed and marched off toward the lit fireplace on the other side of the room, dropping into one of the overstuffed armchairs placed in front of the flames.
The bang of something heavy landing on the small side table beside me made me jump. I needn’t have though. Affald smiled at me, pushing the tankard of frothy beer he’d just placed down closer to my hand.
“Drink up, mate. The world ain’t so gloomy once you get a few of these in ya.”
I took the offered beer and dropped a few pieces of gold into the goblin’s hand before muttering around the foam tickling my upper lip, “Truer words have never been spoken.”